<p>I really don’t want to send him to a big state school, in Kansas or anywhere. I went to Penn State and I feel sure that I could have gotten a fantastic education there if I hadn’t been so immature, lost, and distracted by constant partying. It took me till my senior year to get my act together academically and prior to that I had failed multiple classes and nearly died in an alcohol-related accident. Nothing against Penn State, I think it’s a great school for the right kind of kid – I just don’t see my kid as one who would thrive in that environment.</p>
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<p>This is great advice. My concern is that if he applies and gets a quick acceptance, he’ll never bother with other applications. That’s actually how I ended up at Penn State. Maybe the answer is that he can apply to Kansas but only after his Common App essay is completed so that other applications can be submitted.</p>
<p>If the issue is that he feels no one will want him, perhaps it will help to get him to visit some more of the small, nurturing schools you think are best for him and where he will stand a good chance of admission–Moravian, Susquehanna, Lycoming. If he gets the sense from their admissions people that he solidly in the ballpark, his funk may lift. And as he continues to see friendly kids on nice campuses, with good activities, he may come to the same conclusion you have about what is right for him.</p>
<p>Could it be that he is scared of a process he feels he has no control over, no certainty of a good outcome and angry that he has achieved as much academically as siblings or friends (or as his parents wished)? Any of those feelings could induce him to want to vent some anger and spite? I find a lot of boys at this age get oppositional in such circumstances, whether over Kansas or if you told him he “had” to go to Hawaii or a family Caribbean cruise.</p>
<p>Best of luck; this is why God created reasonably priced bottles of sauvignon blanc or pinot grigio.</p>
<p>I’m sure this is part of it. The poor kid has gone through high school in the shadow of a very high-achieving, one-year-older sister. And I swear, DH and I have never ever, not once ever, breathed a word of “why can’t you be more like your sister?” but I know he feels it and I know that other kids and even the occasional teacher have said some insensitive things. </p>
<p>We definitely need to keep visiting schools. Our college tour schedule got messed up by Irene so we did not visit Susquehanna or Moravian. Maybe later this month. He did like Lycoming very much, and also McDaniel.</p>
<p>Moravian, like Albright, is in a small city setting. Susquehanna, like McDaniel, is more rural. Juniata is a very good school, but more selective and more like Goucher in student body, which I recall his not caring for. Once he has a handful of realistic options, he will likely feel more positive.</p>
<p>I am sure you and your husband have been fair, but teachers can be brutal to the less accomplished sibling. My HS French teacher was very demeaning to me because I was not nearly as good a French student as my older sister was. He treated me as a complete idiot and slacker. The happiest day of my HS career was being announced over the pa system during his class as a national merit finalist right after he had mocked my pronounciation.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for the replys on colleges for S2. I am not sure why he wants to go so far away, but he really seems to think he wants to be in Wisconsin, Chicago and area. We have a large number of very different schools on our list because I think he doesn’t know what kind of school he wants. He insists that his high school right now is tiny (~500) and he wants a big(ish) college. His first choice is UW-Madison. After that, we don’t really know. He will graduate in 2013 (sorry, I know I am on the wrong thread). So, this winter and spring we will be visiting the colleges on his list. We will have to do them in one very quick visit, so I am trying to get all the info I can right now. I would hate getting home and having him say…“Hey, Mom, I like this college…Can we go see it?” if it’s that far away the answer will be NO.</p>
<p>Simpkin, Have you looked at Mount Saint Mary’s? It’s just outside Frederick, MD. I have known quite a few kids to go there and they seem to like it. It doesn’t get much press in the cult known as CC.</p>
<p>And we loved Susquehanna. A little smaller than ideal - but gorgeous campus - loads of personal attention - very nice facilities - well maintained. My son has already submitted his application there and he rcvd a personal email after he applied thanking him for his application and just wanting to clarify one point. I have visited about 20+ colleges between both sons and Susquehanna was by far the nicest surprise.</p>
<p>Simpkin, maybe another idea would be Salisbury University on the Maryland eastern shore. It’s a little bigger than some of the small LACs that you have been looking at. I think it has ~8000 students. It is a Maryland public, but I think a B student would be able to get in. It is another college that lots of students from around here go to.</p>
<p>MuppetMom has your son visited some local colleges to get a feel of urban vs rural or small vs medium vs large? It might help narrow down your choices to visit once you’re in WI or IL.</p>
<p>I’m sorry but I can’t remember where exactly you would be coming from but I think it’s out east? Sometimes people don’t realize the driving distances in Midwest states and don’t allow themselves enough time.</p>
<p>Thanks for the additional suggestions! It does seem hard to find colleges in that “medium-size” category. Quinnipiac is not one I’d planned to visit – not thrilled by the party-school reputation – but my son actually identified this one in the hour or so of research he did, so we will look because I want him to feel like he has some ownership of this process. I haven’t looked into Catholic colleges at all – I am UU (raised Protestant) and DH is Jewish. DS isn’t really anything but we have Jewish holidays at home. So I don’t know if a Catholic college would be a good fit for him – not ruling it out but I just haven’t looked into them at all.</p>
<p>^^ Have you considered some public Us like Winthrop? It has only about 5,000 students, if I am correct. Are you interested in venturing south? Honestly, I have not looked at the price to compare it to Quinnipiac or Hofstra.</p>
<p>Depeding upon stats, if you wanted to send to a school with about 10-12,000 students, you could look at some schools in NC like UNC-Wilmington (it might be a reach though, as I don’t know your son’s stats). Also, how about College of Charleston?</p>
<p>Ithaca would be in that midrange size, but also expensive.</p>
<p>We did the same thing. I kept asking our sons if they had any schools in mind that they’d like to visit becasue we would gladly take them and have a look.</p>
<p>@simpkin: we also loved Susquehanna for S1, but he had his heart set on PSU. If your son liked Lycoming, he will probably like Susq too (although at the moment it’s under water) and they are truly interested in getting to know the prospects, which works great for students who might not have perfect gpas but still have lots of potential. S2 has also been balky about participating (I started a thread somewhere about that) and what we decided to do was set milestones. So, he had to have all his PSU application (except the personal statement) done before he could go to a game, had to have the statement done before he could do something else, etc… His Common App has been started in a similar way. The supplement questions I dread! But so far, having him list 10 possibilities, then write an opening sentence for each one (which immediately showed him which were not good choices), then write a para for 5 has helped focus him.</p>
<p>I agree that Susquehanna is similar to Lycoming. Interestingly enough I have a close friend whose oldest son just graduated from Lycoming and her youngest son is now a freshman at Susquehanna! BTW, it’s not really underwater - [url=<a href=“http://www.susqu.edu/news/39555.asp]Susquehanna”>http://www.susqu.edu/news/39555.asp]Susquehanna</a> University - News: September Flooding News and Updates<a href=“I%20was%20worried%20so%20googled”>/url</a></p>
<p>Marist may be a bit of a reach simpkin, but my B student was accepted there. It’s one of those B student schools that is currently “hot”. Two others in that category would be West Chester and University of Delaware in this area.</p>
<p>Thanks. I will definitely look at Susquehanna. I highly doubt he could get into Delaware. It is very hot at my kids’ high school. He is not really a solid B student. More like a B- student. He doesn’t actually get Bs. He gets As if he likes the class and the teacher and Cs if he doesn’t. Very frustrating.</p>
<p>simpkin, you sound very realistic and as frustrating as it might be for you, there are plenty of schools out there for your son. If you pick match and safeties, you should all be just fine. Good luck!</p>
<p>simpkin, perhaps you should rule out Mt. Saint Marys. I have heard that it is one of the more religious catholic schools. I am not sure what that would mean to your son, but no need to put him in that situation where so many other colleges would be a better fit. Another one that I have heard good stuff about is Washington College in Chestertown, MD (eastern Shore). It is small, nurturing, and very pretty.</p>
<p>Proudwismom,
My S2 is familiar with Lycoming (from S1) and Rice (D) and UDel(family). He has also been on tours for D at BU, McGill and Yale. He still doesn’t know what he wants. He thinks Lycoming is too small. We will be going on several college tours during the fall on the east coast so that he gets a feel for what he wants. I was surprised that one of the 1st colleges he expressed a real interest in was U of Alabama in Birmingham. It was recommended on this thread and I mentioned it to him. It meets almost none of his criteria, yet inexplicably, he is drawn to it. Go figure! He still has Carroll, Carthage, St Norberts and Elmhurst on his list, although they are small. We are hoping for merit for some of his choices!</p>
<p>muppetmom… feel free to pm me with any questions about UAB. my son is there …would be glad to give you any info re merit, campus life, honors colleges, research etc.</p>
<p>MuppetMom, I know how they can change their minds about what they want and even schools of the same size can feel different. My son didn’t think he would like a smaller school but ended up liking Carthage. He decided he wanted a middle size school so we visited U Northern Iowa but he felt it was too busy/urban and didn’t like it. He loves NMU which is close to the same size and I think it’s more in the city of Marquette than UNI was in Cedar Falls.</p>
<p>Hopefully, your visits to WI / IL will help him decide.</p>
<p>Well summer is over and no much was accomplished in term of college search and applications at our house. I am very jealous of all of you that made good use of your summer. I had very good intensions, but my work schedule and vacation, combined with DS’s reluctance to take go on long car trips(can we go nest week , tomorrow ?) have put us behind schedule. </p>
<p>We did visit 3 schools over the summer. Fordham, Scranton and Marist, all within 2 hours of our home in central NJ. DS liked all three, but as of right now Marist is clearly his first choice. Unfortunately Marist is a “hot” school in our town also and although he is above the average for both GPA and SAT’s for admitted students on our Naviance, the scattergram shows deferred or waitlisted students all over the grid. The fact that Marist offers both ED and EA makes it difficult to use the school stats on naviance to determine a connection there. </p>
<p>I suspect that ED counts heavily here(not what I wanted to hear) and is the cause of the relative randomness of the scattergram. I will have to try and contact guidance to see if they offer any further info, but I suspect they will not tell me.</p>
<p>I would truly love to find another school to knock Marist out of first place or at least make him not want to do ED, as I am opposed for many reasons. </p>
<p>Son is interested in computer science so Marist stands out to him for that reason.</p>
<p>I hope to visit some other schools with strong computer science programs in the next month.</p>
<p>No one ever said this wouldn’t be stressful. Thanks for letting me vent. :)</p>
<p>West Chester is a good idea, I hadn’t thought of that but it is a nice school – interesting to be at, lots going on, but not overwhelming and very supportive. Not to mention, waay less expensive than UDel (which is also the darling of our hs) and UDel seems to be looking harder at OOS students.</p>