3.0 to 3.3 (GPA) Parents Thread (2012 HS Graduation)

Parents Forum
461

<p>mncollege-- S does have a PT job at a local pizza place. Has had the job since summer before jr year and loves it. I was at first concerned about the time away from school work, but in fact his grades are better now than before the job (although I think maturation has something to do with it).</p>

<p>What concerns me now with him is that I think he would be perfectly content after graduation just working this job and coming home and watching TV. Although (surprisingly)he indicated business as his intended major on his comm college app, I don’t think he truly understands what business is. He says he wants to transfer to a 4-yr school, but that might be lip service. </p>

<p>So we are going to hope his comm college experience is good and that he keeps his grades up. And maybe with gentle coaxing and guidance he will find his way.</p>

462

<p>Hello, '12 parents! I thought I’d drop in and let you know some of the things I remember from last year, and some of the things I’ve come to understand this year.</p>

<p>1) Things will work out. It is true that a transcript with Bs is absolutely a successful HS record, and colleges are plenty happy with it. You child has done very well.
2) It’s hard to remember this when you are faced with all of the mistakes s/he makes that you know could be avoided. Try to step back and focus on what a great kid s/he is. That is “loving the kid on the couch.”
3) Your kid is way harder on her/himself than you think s/he is. There is a lot of bravado in a kid who knows s/he has done some dumb stuff or who feels s/he can never live up to standards (even if you’ve never expressed them).
4) Your kid will surprise you in how much s/he will mature this year, and next. But s/he also will take a lot of the immaturity and flaws with her/him to college. S/he just needs to keep plugging, learning and growing. A good fit college - or other plan - will provide lots of opportunities to grow up, but it won’t happen overnight.
5) Most important: Don’t let this process undermine the loving relationship you have with your kid. You have a long life together to be close, show caring and respect, and share good and bad experiences. Don’t let the college admissions process drive an unnecessary wedge in your faith and trust in each other. Whatever happens, your kid will have a future, and will make her/his path in the world. Stick with her/him - this is not the defining moment we often are tempted to think it is. It’s just a step along the way.</p>

<p>Good luck - I am right there with you!</p>

463

<p>EdieNJ: Totally agree with you about everything, but especially about 3.0-3.3 being only ‘terrible’ here on CC!
I have a 3.19 S. Yep, not even a 3.2 by any stretch of the imagination. Take out A+ in orchestra throughout HS and I’m not sure if he’d have a 3.0 :slight_smile:
Yet, he’s going to college! Take heart all other parents of ‘underachievers’. He’s gotten into some pretty good schools. I can’t wait till March/April/May when we all start posting exactly where they’ve decided to go.</p>

464

<p>

</p>

<p>Very true in the case of my younger son.</p>

465

<p>BfloGal–is that so bad? One thing I have come to realize with my sons, and my DH, is that they aren’t social in the same way women are social…unless they have a very social girlfriend, and even then they are doing that to be with the girl. They are perfectly content with the social interaction they get at school and in their activities and if they come home in the evening and watch tv, that is just fine with them. If someone suggests getting together to sit around and watch tv, that is ok too.</p>

<p>Our 2.7 son is very bright. It was very frustrating to see him waste his high school years “just” getting by. If he liked a class or even a particular topic in class, he would ace everything. He’s a history buff and his teacher would play class Jeopardy as chapter reviews before tests and the teams would be my DS against the rest of the class. He got all A’s in all of the AP History classes. I think he missed 5 points, ever, in 5 years…then there were the rest of his classes.</p>

<p>He went to college for a year, paid for most of it on his own, one small loan. We bought his books-so about $500 is all we paid for him. That was the deal, get the GPA to sustain your college career and we will pay you back. He didn’t do that. His loss.</p>

<p>He now has a good paying job, not great, but about average salary for a college grad in a good company. He is up for his first promotion and after that they are looking to place him in a position that starts at $90,000 (computer tech job doing I’m not exactly sure what). They are going to send him to some classes to get some computer certifications or something and you know what, he loves his job. He is saving to buy a house, which he should be able to do in early fall, he has met with our financial planner and is getting a jump start on his retirement accounts because he has the extra cash to do that now. He does come home from work and plays video games most evenings, but he goes out with friends one or two days/week as well. Quite honestly, this is as happy as we have seen him in a LONG time. He just does NOT like school.</p>

<p>We had a hard time coming to grips with that because we didn’t understand how you could not like school. DH and I loved school, our other two (younger siblings) love school, are very engaged, can hardly wait for college…but that is not our oldest and while it took us a long time, and DH isn’t quite all there yet, we have accepted that about him. We will see what the future holds for him but for now, it looks pretty good.</p>

466

<p>Thank you for sharing Emmy and mncollege. It’s good to keep perspective on all this, and to be reminded that we have lifelong relationships with our kids that will continue long beyond this stressful time, and it is good to remember that.</p>

467

<p>PS: My S has a 2.96 (UW, out of 4.2) and that puts him in the 70th decile at his school. Meaning under the 50% point. We have a LOT of high achieving kids in our district, one of the reasons I wanted my kids here. It’s a mixed blessing though, when your school is kind of like CC in academic makeup!</p>

468

<p>ohiobassmom–I just figured out my son’s class rank percent, 74.4, kind of depressing when you see it that way. The top kid in his class was accepted at Harvard, Yale, MIT, Cornell, Stanford, Berkley… Other classmates are at Notre Dame, Harvard, Michigan, various other IT type schools around the country (Purdue, MN, Iowa State, etc.). I know EXACTLY what you mean.</p>

469

<p>MN, I do still feel that he’s been better off in the 70th here than he would have been in the 10th down the road a few miles. And colleges know our school, at least the ones that have our students. I’m sure that’s the case with yours too.</p>

<p>Our school doesn’t rank APs any higher than regular classes, so some kids avoid them to keep their GPA up, and my S has always taken at least 2. I’d never advise my D’14 to avoid them, eventhough they are harder and you don’t get “credit” for taking them in your GPA.</p>

470

<p>OBM-I AGREE!! DS learned a lot in school despite himself. Our school does a class rank based on honor/AP/CIS classes so they get 2 ranks, overall and honors. DS did have some AP classes (History and Psych because he likes those classes) and was in honors for everything else because the ‘regular’ level classes were pretty remedial. He was placed in his sophomore US History class on the non-honors level and while it was great for his self-esteem, the teacher kept telling us he should NOT be in that class. This particular teacher got all of the “bad boys” and DS’s band class forced him into that class. The teacher said he spent a lot of time keeping DS safe that year YIKES. DS was at his own table, front row, center…</p>

471

<p>DS was accepted to Susquehanna and McDaniel! (Now we are in the process of scrambling to visit the schools where he’s been accepted.) Has anyone visited either of these schools yet? Any info on visiting will be appreciated.</p>

472

<p>

</p>

<p>Yikes indeed!</p>

473

<p>familyof3boys, congratulations. We have been to both of these schools. We visited Susquehanna on an accepted student’s day for the major my son was interested in. It was really great. We heard from students and faculty. Parents ate lunch with other parents and one faculty member was at each table. There was a Q&A between parents and students and it was candid. Newly accepted students spent part of this day doing a different program without their parents. It was really excellent.</p>

<p>McDaniel we just toured and did an info sesion (prior to applying). The info session was chock full of information. It was a large group that day because it was during a time when HS kids were out of school, but the person conducting it was fabulous.</p>

474

<p>Congratulations!!! </p>

<p>We visited both. Susquehanna looked great from what I saw, but S was sick and in a horrible mood, the visit was doomed – he did not apply. Not much of a town there, other than a long strip of chain restaurants. I didn’t love the area, but it was a gloomy day with a grouchy kid.</p>

<p>I loved McDaniel. That is my first choice for my son (he was accepted EA). Nice campus, really friendly kids who seemed very happy to be there. We’ll be going for accepted students day in March. It’s in a rural area with a small town next to the campus. I think there’s a mall there too. I know there is a Chipotle, which is a big plus. :)</p>

475

<p>I agree with simpkin about the area around Susquehanna. It is very rural. </p>

<p>As far as the area around McDaniel, I did not care for it, but there seemed to me more places to visit off campus than around Susquehanna. That said, I really did not feel comfortable with the town, especially at night. I do not have actual crime statistics. I just did not feel 100% comfortable off campus.</p>

476

<p>At my kids school: Accepted into Amherst with 3.13 GPA / 4.00 and 26 ACT. Another with a 3.13 GPA and 26 accepted at Columbia. Of course, these are more the exceptions rather than the rule.</p>

477

<p>Ugh, just got S’s midyear report card and it is horrible. Worse than I was anticipating, which was bad. By far his worst grades ever. He can forget about Hofstra and every other college that was waiting for the mid-year grades to make a decision. Of course the bigger question is whether he should even go to college. Very disappointed right now.</p>

478

<p>Oh simpkin I completely understand. I wasn’t excited about S’ either. Deep breaths helped me…</p>

479

<p>Oh, Simpkin, I am sorry to hear about the disappointing report card. Do any of your son’s schools not look at mid-year grades? </p>

<p>As hard as it may be at the moment, try to focus on the good qualities of you son. If you need to cool off, go for a walk or something that will get you thinking about something else. </p>

<p>And, if you are anything like I am, try to watch the words you use when you talk to your son about this. (I know I sometimes over-react, and make negative statements that I later regret.)</p>

<p>((Hugs))</p>

480

<p>Thanks. I don’t really care about the schools that are still pending; that’s his problem. I guess the issues are: will any of his current acceptances be rescinded? should he really go to college next year? will he even graduate? His first quarter was not good but he really hit a new low second quarter. He’s working with a math tutor for two hours a week, but he’s failing math. I really don’t get it. He seems to be completely apathetic. I even have him seeing a counselor to address his self-defeating behavior and bad decisions. Nothing seems to be having an effect. I’m really upset about this. But yes, he does have many good qualities; he is smart, funny, charming, etc. He has a lot of potential and I hate to see him screwing up like this.</p>