<p>So sorry simpkin. I’ve been following your S’s progress on a few threads–I have a D who is a junior with a lot of similarities. I’d be upset to. You just need to let this play out.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry simpkin. Everything I can think of to say just seems so…
But I’m sure you all will figure something out.</p>
<p>Simpkin,</p>
<p>Just want to express support here. I know what you are going through. My son, who is a junior, was supposed to do a major project for Spanish today–which was late and so he would only get 1/2 credit. He never did it. He will get a zero.</p>
<p>Had a meeting with teachers, advisors, dean of students, etc. and they all said similar things to what you have said about your son–he’s funny, kind-hearted, smart, and makes good choices except with respect to his school work.</p>
<p>He is supposed to take the ACT on Saturday, and he told me yesterday that he has a number of tests and papers this week, and I said that was too bad that he wouldn’t get to study for the ACT. </p>
<p>His reply was to say that the trouble with his transcript won’t be his ACT score, it will be his GPA.</p>
<p>How can he have this insight and then he go to school today without having done his work?</p>
<p>Don’t mean to hijack this–I know it’s supposed to be a positive thread. And congratulations to all–it’s great to hear of all these schools that people are accepted to. </p>
<p>Just hang in there.</p>
<p>I think it’s a thread for both cheering and support, so no worries :)</p>
<p>Simpkin - I wanted to express my support as well. We are experiencing similar issues, and it is so frustrating that there is only so much we can do - the rest has to come from our kids and if they can’t/won’t make the effort, we can’t make it for them. I hope you are not beating yourself up about this; I know I sometimes take these things harder than my S, which is not the way it should be. I understand that it takes a lot for a college to rescind an acceptance, although I suppose they could impose some kind of extra remedial requirements for his first semester. I wish there was something I could do to make this better.</p>
<p>Hey, thanks for all the support. You guys are so nice. :)</p>
<p>I don’t know why I was surprised; I knew this semester wasn’t going well; I guess I thought the midterm grades would be better. Every grade is accompanied by a comment like “not working to potential” or “student demonstrates little or no effort” – this is what’s most upsetting. The only sort-of positive thing is that he seemed disappointed when he saw the grades, so I guess it was a bit of a surprise to him too.</p>
<p>Simpkin sorry to hear about the grades. Hopefully he will see what is a stake and do what needs to be done to keep his acceptances. I’ve heard it takes a lot for most schools to rescind, but maybe the fear of this will help him. It is so hard to watch this when it is your kid. I have 2 close friends with senior sons in the same place too and I find it much easier to be optimistic about there futures than their moms do. They are good kids and these are just bumps in the road. My son had some of bad second quarter grades also, the worst seem to be hidden by the way the transcript is presented. </p>
<p>I think this is one of the downsides of EA. They feel they are in and want to enjoy their senior year. I guess they may have slacked off anyway and it is good they got in some schools before that happened.</p>
<p>I have to add that my feeling about all of this may be colored by the fact that I was that kid. I messed up in high school royally and found it hard to put in the effort necessary to improve my already badly blemished transcript. When I went to college I had a nearly perfect GPA for 4 years. I needed a clean start. I think they will be fine if they can just develop the tools to succeed when they get there.</p>
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<p>I hope so! But he knew that Hofstra and Ithaca were waiting for these grades and that didn’t seem to motivate him at all.</p>
<p>I was a poor student in high school too. I had mostly decent grades in English and history, terrible grades in math and science. Hmmm, just like my son, and just like him I was a disorganized procrastinator with attention issues. Also had a dysfunctional family and some pretty serious emotional, eating, sleep and general health issues. Sometimes I look at my son and I think that compared to what I grew up with, he has such a happy home – so why is he making the same mistakes I made?</p>
<p>I was a terrible student in college too – too much partying plus continued emotional issues/depression/bad boyfriends. finally got my act together senior year. </p>
<p>Then I was at the top of my class in law school – I was older, had lived on my own and worked for a few years, had goals, wanted to be there, and was paying for it myself. </p>
<p>My husband was a chronic class-cutter in high school, partied heavily through his first couple of years of college and then got his act together; also a top student in law school and now very successful in his career. So I know that life is not necessarily determined by the choices made as a teenager. But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about him.</p>
<p>I guess we all have our own timetable. As a parent the wait is tough. It’s funny how 2 kids raised in the same house can be so different too. Older D did have a senioritis but not until 4th q. My son drives me crazy sometimes but once in a while I get a glimpse of what is really hiding on the inside and I am truly amazed. That’s what keeps me going.</p>
<p>Simpkin, I have been lurking here on CC for awhile now and your post is the first time I have actually felt compelled to reply. My S sounds just like yours. During high school he was a classic underachiever. Awesome test taker but lousy at completing homework etc. Right up until his senior year I was convinced I could prop him up and get him off to a 4 yr school. Then one day I let go of the “dream”. If he couldn’t get himself through high school with the necessary grades, discipline, etc then there was no way he was ready to go away to college. It had to matter more to him that it did to me or there was no way he would be successful. Fast forward a couple of years and he is now at a local CC plugging away on his own without his mom pushing him along. He finally has the maturity and the vision to see what he wants his life to look like and for him, that includes a college degree. The way I see it we saved a lot of money and heartache by seeing that his lack of motivation in high school was a huge indicator that he was not ready. I can’t tell you how many of his male friends headed off to college only to flunk out after wasting their parents hard earned money. Boys take longer to mature and no amount of parental wishing, hoping, pushing can really make that happen. I just wanted to tell you this because I was heartbroken when I saw that he wasn’t going down the path I wanted. Now he is on his own path and with that I am thrilled. Your son will find his path too!</p>
<p>Glad you came out of lurkdom samsmomo!</p>
<p>Thanks. I have to admit that some of the threads were very intimidating but this one feels much better.</p>
<p>This one is my favorite :)</p>
<p>I don’t know if i said my S’ semester grades weren’t so hot either. If the colleges he hasn’t heard from were looking for something different than the rest of HS, they didn’t get it, in fact he did *slightly *worse than 10th/11th. If they wanted to be sure he wasn’t failing, OK, they got that. After some initial yelling and freaking out, I’ve become rather zen about it. It’s his life.</p>
<p>I DO wish he’d take a gap year but he is not at all interested. So far, anyway.</p>
<p>I am pleased to see him choosing to put himself out there for some stuff he’s never done before…auditioning for the musical lead, trying track…it’s like he realized HS is almost over and this is his last chance to try some things before he finishes. That makes me happy.</p>
<p>I sometimes read the Jewish B student thread, though we’re not Jewish 
One book I picked up as a result of a rec there is “The Blessings of a B Minus” and I loved it. It does use Judaism to make some points and illustrate some examples, but i think parents of any or no religion would probably get a lot out of it. Some of it really made me look at my kid differently.</p>
<p>My library got it for me.</p>
<p>Ohiobassmom, I love the zen comment. Very wise. I look at my son with a different perspective than when he was a senior in high school. He is a wonderful young man who has never given us any trouble. I have friends who’s kids have dropped out, done drugs, gotten arrested, gotten girlfriends pregnant so in the realm of things, my kid not going straight to a 4 yr is no big deal. I do have a daughter who is a senior this year so that is what brought me to CC. Completely different student from her brother. Self motivated and extremely mature so she is ready for college now. We are anxiously waiting to hear where she may have been accepted.</p>
<p>Good luck to your D samsmomo, I hope you let us know what she decides!</p>
<p>(I have a D also, '15. I’ve been starting to hang out in that thread a little…)</p>
<p>Thanks for posting, samsmomo, especially this part:</p>
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<p>Yes, it has to matter more to him. I was just saying that to my husband yesterday when we were talking about the report card. For too long we’ve been “propping him up” and trying to push, pull, prod, or drag him along to the finish line of HS graduation day, but then what? He has to care about this too.</p>
<p>Looking at graduation rates for the colleges that accepted my son, there is a huge disparity between men and women. Goes to what you said, samsmomo. </p>
<p>The College Results Online site lets you break down graduation rates by gender and race. It’s very discouraging to me that at SUNY Plattsburgh, only 25% of male students graduate in four years. Yikes. Compare that to 42% of women, not so great either but much better. The six-year rate is only 53% for men. Ugh. Lycoming is the best of the bunch that accepted him, with 63% of men graduating in four years, and 72% after six years. That’s a lot better. McDaniel is the next best. I think I should have him take another serious look at Lycoming. He is saying that Plattsburgh is his first choice now, and I regret having let him apply there. Actually, I encouraged him to apply there, because it’s bigger than the LACs but not huge (~4500 students), at the point when he had decided he didn’t want a small school. Obviously, I should have done more research.</p>
<p>Simpson- my son was a student-athlete in high school an was lucky to have a few schools recruiting him-unfortunetly his 3.1 GPA knocked him out of a lot of great opportunities…this GPA was a result of his doing the minimal amount of work and basically not giving a hoot about his grades. He was very lucky, in the spring semester, a good school recruited him with a scholarship and it went down hill from their there!</p>
<p>He knew he had to keep his grades up and we believed he was doing OK because he told us so. He got his last 6 week report card and had b’s and c 's–ok right-Wrong he decided after getting these grades that he was “done” with school and we found out 4 days before finals week that he was actually failing 2 classes and C-'s in 2 others. Mind you, a D is failing for NCAA purposes so regardless of the school opinion of his grades-he would have lost his athletic certification, scholarship and most likely they would rescind his admission.</p>
<p>On top of it all, we were leaving out of town for a business convention for 5 days and we financially and business wise could not afford not to go! To cut to the chase, we contacted the teachers, counselors (college and academic) and Vice Principal- got them all involved and basically he got his act together-they let him make up work ( for 1/2 credit) and in the long run- we got a call from his counselor while we were on the convention floor-and screamed with joy when we found out he passed (ok 2 C-'s) and will graduate!!</p>
<p>Fast forward six months, freshman year of college the distraction of sports, girls, parties and a frat–he actually passed all his classes. And this year, he has a wonderful girl friend-she got a 4.0 and my son actually told me he has no choice but to study because that is what she was doing-I almost fell on the floor laughing and crying at the same time! He was actually upset that he didn’t get a 3.5 GPA!</p>
<p>My point to this whole thing is my kid who never cared about school, almost didn’t graduate the and almost lost admission to college and a scholarship has turned around to a point that in my mind was unimaginable just 1 1/2 years ago! They all need time to find themselves, and sometimes with our help (wanted or not) pushing them in the right direction…and out of the nest, they will succeed! Good luck to you and your son, I hope ond day you can look back on it and smile…</p>
<p>Great story, thanks for sharing that – I’m so glad it worked out!</p>
<p>Still fretting over Plattsburgh’s low graduation rate and blaming myself for having him apply there. Of course now he says it’s his first choice because “some of my friends from school might go there.” This is after he refused to apply to Oneonta because “too many people from my high school are applying there” (I guess they were the wrong people?) and to Oswego because it’s next to a lake (still baffled by that one). I don’t know if I should try some reverse psychology and start talking up Platt like I would love for him to go there.</p>
<p>Sometimes those grad rate stats are affected by having a large number of non-traditional students or lots of transfers, I read somewhere that neither are taken into account in the stats?</p>
<p>It might not be as bad as it appears.</p>