<p>I didn’t see one directed to parents, but my d’s high school counselor made that request of several of my daughter’s teachers, specifically going to teachers who were NOT writing the LOR’s. Then he used that information to write an amazing endorsement of my daughter, explaining his process on the rec form – and choosing the adjectives that were common to all. Words like “ambitious” (I don’t remember the others unfortunately - but I think they painted a good picture of my d’s personality). I do think that the process helped – and my daughter’s college admission results were pretty good at reach colleges, so clearly it didn’t hurt.</p>
<p>I think its a little harder for parents to do these … and I’m not sure I would place all that much value on how the parent sees their child and what the parent is willing to write in that context. So I think if I was a GC I might frame the question a little differently to parents – not so open ended.</p>
<p>that she has always been wise beyond her years.</p>
<p>I think these parent letters are very important. Counselors are busy individuals and I suspect they draw heavily on these letters when putting together their LORs.</p>
<p>One school my child applied to required a letter from the parents describing their kid. Apparently the school did it more ot involve the parents, but reportedly actually found it helpful. I enjoyed writing the letter re our child. I think it was more meaningful that 5 adjectives strung together.</p>
<p>I believe I once started a thread on this topic too, because I got worried after reading on CC that some private school counselors were using the adjective “hard-working” as code for “this kid is a grind.” </p>
<p>The one adjective relatives, teachers, and my frends have all used to describe my middle child is “self-assured.” I believe that was one of the words I put on her brag sheet last year, thinking it preferable to “confident” or “self-confident.” I suspected the latter might be over-used or might imply cockiness. Just recently, though, I wondered if in some secret college language, “self-assured” could be code for “arrogant.” I also wondered about “responsible.” Does that imply “rule-follower” and suggest a cautious student afraid to take risks?</p>
<p>This kind of thing is exactly what is wrong with college admissions. A newbie counselor could think he’s giving a student high praise and in reality he’s dooming him to the rejection pile.</p>
<p>IMO, one thing that’s wrong with the process is that GCs are using parents’ descriptions of their own child to write recommendations. If they feel they don’t know the kid well, they should ask all teachers for such an exercise. Teachers could have a list of 50 adjectives and pick five for each student, but not parents that are so invested in the outcomes and can’t really be objective about their child.</p>
<p>One of the things that shocked me at first on CC was how many kids are able to see their own recommendations, certainly not allowed in our school. The GC promises that she will never let a bad one get through, but if teachers and GC are not honest, what’s the point of this element of the app? Not all college-bound kids have only positive attributes.</p>
<p>The letters are released to us at our HS. I think one of the reasons the GC seeks this information from parents is to avoid disagreements with the parents later. They do have a rule that the letters cannot be changed once written unless there is an error in the factual information on it (like dates or exact names of programs attended, ECs, etc) - but not the subjective portion or even wording. I think in the end, the GC uses almost none of the information supplied in this parent questionnaire, but does rely on their own interactions with the student and also the teacher inputs.</p>
<p>I’ve got to think that many GC recs aren’t very useful to colleges, and that the colleges know this. Certainly at large public high schools, the GC rec is probably based primarily on the student’s “brag sheet” provided to the GC, along with a look at the transcript. It is impossible for the GCs to get to know the students, or even to talk to the teachers of each student. There are just too many.</p>
<p>Well I know one of D’s recommendations used “strong willed” because it was quoted in an acceptance letter. :eek: We are pretty sure it was her GC. </p>
<p>D had to provide separate lists of words that would be used to describe her by parents, teachers, friends and herself for one of her supp apps. It was hard but we helped and came up with the following:
warmhearted, strong character, analytical, creative, truth seeker, fair, engaged, hard-working, innovative problem solver, committed, loyal, a fount of minutiae for a wide spectrum of subjects, smart, willing to help, a good advocate, quirky, funny, intelligent, fair, determined and curious.
She got into the school.</p>
<p>I agree that large schools with overworked GCs can’t be expected to provide indepth and meaningfully descriptive recs and that must be taken into consideration by colleges. But what about the smaller schools and privates with good counseling? That is where I believe there is great unfairness as at some places parents will have greater power to pressure for favorable recs if they are allowed to see them, and especially if they contribute to their content.</p>
<p>My son’s GC is responsible for about 400 students. My son has probably spent more time with him than a hundred of the other students. A lot of that is due to the fact that he is a 3-year graduate and often needs to plan and coordinate additional outside classes and customized projects. He received a very detailed and specific letter of recommendation; one Common App GC form asks for two words to describe the student and the counselor wrote, “brilliant and driven.” Nice!</p>
<p>GCs are only overloaded with work during certain crunch periods – class schedule adjustments, standardized testing, perhaps during the college app process if they are in charge of seniors that given year. But there are lots of slower periods that any student could use to go in, ask about community service projects, get college suggestions and ideas and what-not to better get to know one’s GC and become more than just stats on a screen. Considering that the GC is one person that ALWAYS ends up writing one of the recommendations needed for top colleges, it’s a worthy investment of time to get to know one’s GC well before it’s time for that letter.</p>
<p>I agree it’s worthwhile to get to know one’s GC – but I still think it’s all a big charade for colleges to ask for GC recommendation letters in full knowledge that if it’s a public high school of any size, the GC will just be filling in the blanks based off a brag sheet and a handful of quick encounters with the student. </p>
<p>Why do they persist in this charade, when they know darn well elite private school GC’s will have something of substance to say and most public school GC’s won’t? If they are going to discount it (as they should), then why bother going through the motions?</p>
<p>Smith asked for that in the application process - thankfully D was accepted elsewhere before I had to do it! I was dreading it and had some sympathy for all the essay-writing. I think that privileges the children of educated, articulate parents and … disprivileges? deprivileges? you know what I mean … the children of parents for whom English is not their native language.</p>
<p>^You know, that might just be why they ask for it. Not to ascertain the applicant’s personal qualities, but to get an idea of the context in which they grew up. I bet you can discern a lot about a child’s environment from the content and style of a parental letter.</p>
<p>The beauty of a parent letter is not in the “forced praise” (what parent needs to be forced? LOL), but in the life stories that a parent can bring to the recommendation to really flesh out an applicant.</p>
<p>We also had to write to the GC about things we thought would be helpful to GC that he did not know about our kid. I wrote about the adversity he had overcome and things he had done away from school that I know he had never shared. I think this allowed the GC to get a better sense of our kid & even cut & paste some of the info we provided. Was not asked for adjectives of our kids.</p>
<p>I think “hard-working” and “solid” are two great attributes, in students and employees. I hate the fact these are seen as “bad”. We need both creative thinkers and hard-working, solid types to keep everything going.</p>
<p>I also really hate the fact there isn’t one teacher in our small, non-competitive school who would have any clue that “hard-working” and “solid” are words to avoid. All of them would think they were doing the student a favor. Sigh…</p>