<p>Berryberry, you could say that the rules shouldn’t be built around a very small subset of disabled individuals who need wheelchair access. And, yet, the law requires that this be the case. Is that liberal thinking gone amuck?</p>
<p>And I’m not suggesting that the rules <em>should</em> be built around trans people. But I do believe that they’re entitled to reasonable accommodations, and to a safe place to pee.</p>
<p>For the most part, the reason that trans men or women who are beginning to transition may feel uncomfortable in a gendered bathroom has nothing to do with general discomfort with the concept of single-gender bathrooms. It has to do with the substantial danger of harassment and even violence for trans people (particularly trans women) who may not be completely passable/blendable, and are perceived as being in the “wrong bathroom.” People whom I personally know have been dragged away by the police in handcuffs, thrown in jail cells, and been beaten and/or raped, for committing that great sin of needing to pee and using the bathroom consistent with their gender identification to do so. And harassment isn’t a problem just for trans people. A year or so ago, a woman with short hair and no makeup wearing masculine clothing – who did not identify as trans, just as a butch woman – was physically ejected from the ladies room by a bouncer at the Caliente Cab Company, a well-known Mexican restaurant in lower Manhattan, because someone had complained that there was “a man in the bathroom.” Showing her drivers’ license with an “F” on it did no good. Suit was brought, and a settlement involving a public apology was reached.</p>
<p>This sort of thing happens all the time. Even in places like New York City, which have laws specifically prohibiting discrimination against trans people in public accommodations.</p>
<p>So, yes, it’s entirely understandable that trans people (and other people at risk of harassment) might want to avoid taking that risk by using an all-gender bathroom or a single-occupancy bathroom. Outside the college setting, where multi-person all-gender bathrooms are a rarity, people tend to try to find a single-occupancy bathroom, or hold it in until they get home. (I’ve known people who go hours and hours without using a bathroom, out of fear of what might happen if they use <em>either</em> single-gender bathroom: they’re presenting as female and would be in danger if they used the men’s room, but aren’t always perceived as female and would be in equal danger if they used the women’s room. If they have no choice, they would probably opt for the women’s room on the lesser of two evils theory: in the women’s room, they’re at risk of ejection or arrest, but, barring police brutality, nothing more. In the men’s room, they’re at risk of violence from other patrons.)</p>
<p>So, God forbid that in a college setting, where people are supposed to be reasonably safe, they might prefer a co-ed bathroom where it doesn’t really matter what gender they’re perceived as, and they can be sure that there’s a safe place to pee. Particularly if there aren’t enough single-occupancy bathrooms to have one always available if necessary.</p>
<p>Sure. Just liberal thinking gone amuck. Please. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop sneering. And, by the way, the adjective is transgendered (or transgender; either will do). Not “trans gendered.” </p>
<p>By the way, as I’ve said before, most trans people, kids or adults, <em>do</em> identify themselves as male or female.</p>
<p>The comment about “all the hate towards those who think co-ed bathrooms are a terrible idea” is a complete straw man. There’s exactly <em>one</em> poster on this thread, so far as I remember, who’s philosophically opposed to single-sex bathrooms as the default idea, and it seems to me that <em>he’s</em> the one who’s been getting the brunt of criticism here.</p>
<p>I’ve made it very clear, repeatedly, that I think co-ed bathrooms are fine for those who want them, and, in fact, <em>are</em> necessary, at least in terms of optimal convenience, if you’re living on a co-ed floor that has only one bathroom on it – as is true for the dorm my son is in now (which was built in the 1920’s), and was true for some of the dorms when I was in college 35 years ago. Especially when there are facilities insuring adequate privacy in showers for those (like me) who don’t like being at risk of exposure to other people regardless of gender. </p>
<p>But I also said that I think that if a college student wants to be on a single-sex floor with single-sex bathrooms (at least, de jure!), or even on a co-ed floor that has multiple single-gender bathrooms, that’s fine too. And a question that I don’t think has been addressed a single time in this thread (as I remember) is how real a problem “forced co-ed bathrooms” actually are. Other than the case that inspired this thread, and even assuming that the claims made in that case are true, can anyone give a single example of a college where students are forced to use co-ed bathrooms without their consent?</p>
<p>If not, then the entire discussion is a straw man.</p>
<p>Finally, JHS, I do happen to prefer the configuration at my office, where there are separate men’s rooms and ladies’ rooms on my floor. It has nothing much to do with being particularly shy about bodily functions around guys. (Obviously, public nudity doesn’t enter into the equation!) I must confess that I’m shy about bodily functions around anyone; if I go into the bathroom and there’s someone standing at the sink, and I go into the stall, I usually wait until they leave before I actually do anything! That’s always been true. If I’m already in there and someone comes in, it doesn’t matter, because they don’t know who I am! Sorry, but I’m neurotic about that kind of thing. Possibly because of 32 years of Crohn’s Disease.</p>
<p>Really, it’s more that I see the ladies’ room at work as a refuge or a respite – a place where I don’t have to deal with men for a few minutes (90% of the attorneys at my firm are men), or have them make unreasonable demands on me; a place where my boss can’t find me if he’s mad at me about something! </p>
<p>I suspect that if I were back in college, and privacy in showering were assured, and I didn’t have to see naked guys cutting their toenails, I might not mind that much having a co-ed bathroom. But I’ll never know. (I never lived on a floor with a co-ed bathroom when I was in college; there weren’t that many of them.)</p>
<p>Yes, JHS, the differences between men and women are important to me. (And that has nothing to do with claiming an innate genetic preference for pink or for playing with dolls instead of trucks as a child. I don’t even like pink!) But having single-gendered bathrooms isn’t particularly high on the list in terms of significance to me. Privacy in general is more important to me. I’d be perfectly happy if all public bathrooms were single-occupancy. As is already true of most restaurants. But I realize that that isn’t a very feasible goal, economically.</p>