<p>I ahve applied to a few colleges, all ones I was serious about. Now, however, I have fallen in love with one - one that, though quite good, is not neccesarily as prestigious as some of the others. THis elads me to this question:</p>
<p>Would you rather go tot he school you like more or the more prestigious one.</p>
<p>ost your answer and your rationale.</p>
<p>Like more. When you're happy, when you're somewhere you feel comfortable, you're more likely to take advantage of available opportunities, more likely to have internally derived motivations for what you're doing, and therefore, more likely to have an overall meaningful experience.</p>
<p>If you're somewhere for the name and not for the love you're not going to get much out of your education.</p>
<p>At least, I know I wouldn't have.</p>
<p>They Way I look at it, college is 4 short years and needs to get you where you want to go for the next 70. While I don't think anyone should go anywhere they feel they won't be happy, I would choose a college based on the career outcome I want.</p>
<p>thnk this economy should serve to make everyone more practical. College is not meant to be a Disney vacation.</p>
<p>The majority of top schools are not designed to be factories churning out workers with essential work skills either.</p>
<p>While elite schools can open doors, your own knowledge and ability will walk you through. If I were unhappy, my knowledge and ability would be drastically effected, and that will last far longer than the short halo effect from an elite institution.</p>
<p>I carry what I know and what I can do, and both of those are enriched when I'm motivated, not when I'm somewhere more prestigious.</p>
<p>Now does this mean I'd go somewhere totally off the map relative to the more prestigious place? Not necessarily, but I doubt we're talking a very low-level state or unknown private versus a top 25/50 school here.</p>
<p>Melody, I understand, and this is how my kid's see it too. And with all due respect it's because they are, well, kids. Kids who grew up in comfort and can not imagine not doing well. They are all at elite colleges with someone else paying the bill (me and DH in this case!) and have had no need to look at the world from anywhere other than that perch:) Yet a daily increasing number of people and recent college grads in this Country are unemployed.</p>
<p>Motivation should come from within no matter where you are. And while elite schools do open doors, every kid at one better have a sound plan as to how they'll walk into one of those doors in times like these. But the fact is, with hard work and the alumni network, they stand a better chance than most of getting where they want to go.</p>
<p>What is 'unhappiness' in the realm of going to college? Is there any reason a normally adjusted young adult would be unhappy at any reasonable school? </p>
<p>Being too far from a city? Not liking the dorms? Cold weather? Bad food? All of these things are on the endless lists kids post with the entitlement baked in.</p>
<p>Shouldn't the outcome be more important than 4 years of extreme comfort? There's a huge difference in some industries in what schools are recruited. And yes, it's often the difference between a top 10 school and a top 20.</p>
<p>^ great post!</p>
<p>
[quote]
Being too far from a city? Not liking the dorms? Cold weather? Bad food? All of these things are on the endless lists kids post with the entitlement baked in.
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</p>
<p>word.</p>
<p>Looking at the OP's previous posts, I see an intended math major who was planning on applying to a bunch of wonderful schools, all of which offer many options if you change majors, all of which will give you great connections in the years to come. OP, I don't know if you are defining prestige as how high a school ranks in USNWR, or by how well its math departments rank in surveys of the quality of their graduate education. If you've spoken with students and professors in the math department at the school you've fallen in love with, and you feel that you can find the opportunities there that will allow you to find excellent mentors, then more power to you.</p>
<p>To hmom:</p>
<p>If you think 4 years of extreme comfort is what I'm referring to, well, I'm sorry.</p>
<p>I am where I am because it had a lot of unique opportunities well-suited for me. In the end, I've chosen to do something with my life completely unforeseen 4 years ago that would have literally been an impossible transition elsewhere. The unique opportunities here, all of which directly related to why I felt I'd be happier at Brown, directly led to my now chosen path.</p>
<p>I think you are cheapening education a bit-- I'm taking more than a sheet of paper with me when I leave Brown and I know that shortly after my time here, the Brown part of my degree is not going to matter in the slightest-- my performance will. If I were going somewhere else I would not be as equipped to perform well. Motivation over the course of four years is not something you should assume from 18-21 year olds. Hardly anyone I know lacks the motivation to learn and improve themselves in school, but I do know people with greatly varying sense of efficacy. Being motivated to do well is only one side of the coin, believing you're somewhere where the effort and motivation will translate is equally important.</p>
<p>There have been study after study demonstrating that successful students are successful no matter where they go-- if you're capable of being successful and motivated somewhere you're unhappy, I applaud you. I'm not. For me, happiness = motivation. Striving for and being able to achieve goals = happiness. They're not separate.</p>
<p>I think that you're also pricing happy as a pretty shallow feeling if you think it's connected to physical notions like location, dorms, weather, and food.</p>
<p>None of those four things are as good where I am as it could have been many other places I could have gotten into. None of those four things are effecting my happiness.</p>
<p>Maybe you're assuming too much immaturity and I'm assuming too much maturity, but I would have been useless relative to who I am at say, BU versus Brown, but that fact has NOTHING to do with their respective rankings.</p>
<p>To the OP:</p>
<p>If you're thinking about math and science, this is particularly true. Research experience will end up trumping all else in these areas and if there is somewhere with the right opportunities for you to pursue these fields outside of the classroom where you think you'll shine, it becomes even more important I think to go there.</p>
<p>Hate to bring psychology into this, but for the most part, just as successful people find success no matter where they go, happy people stay happy no matter where they go and unhappy people stay unhappy no matter where they go. Given almost any college, you'll find people who vociferously claim that it was the best fit for them. The notion of 'best fit' is mostly constructed after the fact of admission, partly from habituation to the college and partly from our natural tendency to narrativize our lives into a "best of all possible worlds" story.</p>
<p>Thank you all for the input. Yes, I am looking at a lot of good schools, but the question is one sort of between (an example form 2 schools I didnt apply to) Stanford vs. Boston Uni. Both schools are very good and well known schools, but there is a different when at an interview saying "I went to Stanford" versus "I went to BU." Though both are great schools, Stanford is just that prestigious name. In addition, both schools I am considering would have relatively equal opportunities. So, in this situation, both have great programs in my itnended study, but I feel more at home with BU. What should I do?</p>
<p>It isn't that Stanford is just a good name. It's that employers see a big difference in the effort and ability it took to get into Stanford vs. BU. So when they decide where to recruit, depending on what they are looking for, they are unlikely to choose both.</p>
<p>Some will head to Stanford for what they believe are the best and the brightest, others will head to BU because the jobs they have to offer will be best met by the profile of the BU grad.</p>
<p>In the end, for the student with choice, it's about where they want to go.</p>
<p>Melody, again, I have 3 kids and I've heard it all before. Frankly, before the world took a drastic turn, I too, bought into the perfect fit BS. Who doesn't want to see a kid in the happiest possible environment? It just becomes a luxury not everyone can afford in tough times. </p>
<p>Namurt sizes it up beautifully. And while many of the studies you refer to have been debunked, there is also the fact that you and all of us only attended one school and have no clue where others may have landed you.</p>
<p>The new realities have made me see the world a bit differently.</p>
<p>
Being too far from a city? Not liking the dorms? Cold weather? Bad food? All of these things are on the endless lists kids post with the entitlement baked in.
</p>
<p>Do you honestly believe that quality of life issues don't factor into a student's ability to succeed? People make major life decisions based on factors like these, I don't see what about climate, nearness to family, rural vs urban environments, poor living conditions etc have to do with entitlement. I think about the times my wife and I have relocated, certainly professional opportunities played a role in the decisions, but so did many other factors including the ones you listed here.</p>
<p>honestly just name the schools, its not like your giving anything confidential away. In the case of Stanford and BU, you really need to choose Stanford, since the gap for future opportunities will be very substantial. Now between say Stanford and Brown that would be a different story, where fit might dictate a different decision. It really depends on the separation in prestige between the two schools, because really if your a normal kid you could be happy at almost any good school for the most part.</p>
<p>Belevitt, I'm not talking about putting down roots and raising a family. I'm talking about 4 years of college. And yes, I find the lists kids posts wanting to be near beaches and nothing below 60 degrees truly ludicrous in the context of choosing where they can best prepare themselves to meet their goals.</p>
<p>
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And yes, I find the list kids posts wanting to be near beaches and nothing below 60 degrees truly ludicrous in the context of choosing where they can best prepare themselves to meet their goals.
[/quote]
And I'm saying you're ludicrous if you think that these are the kinds of factors most of us are talking about when discussing happiness.</p>
<p>"Frankly, before the world took a drastic turn, I too, bought into the perfect fit BS".....my CC laugh out loud post of the day....</p>
<p>always know that hmom can tell us how she/he really feels........</p>
<p>hmom5, I feel that you are trying to be antagonistic with your machiavellian approach to higher ed. College is more than a four year career training seminar. Happiness is important. People develop and mature as adults during this time in their lives, find spouses, build life long friendships, put down roots and maybe even begin their careers. I am glad that I am not your offspring.</p>
<p>Antagonistic? For stating my opinions? I'm glad you're not my offspring too because honestly, they were all open to a variety of schools based on where they wanted to end up and not on a teenager's naive idea of where they would achieve the most happiness based on guide books and one visit.</p>
<p>My oldest, who wanted MIT for undergrad, got there for grad school and immediately said he was glad he hadn't ended up there as the realty was so much different than his dream. I went to Wharton believing it was the only place to get the goods to be a business success and only later realized an LAC would have given me a broader and more fun undergrad experience.</p>
<p>Unfortunately when we're choosing at 17, most of us don't yet know what we don't know.</p>
<p>The fact is, people on this board (including me) are for the most part members of the privileged upper class. The view of college as a fun, four year experience in which your happiness is paramount is a privilege your parents have earned for you. Even this thread's issue is framed interestingly: prestige vs feel. Most people don't get to choose either of those. Actually, almost half of Americans do not even attend college. Of those who do, so many drop out that in the end the majority of Americans fail to get a 4 year degree. Yet, these Americans, whose happiness had not been ensured, who have to deal with the raw vicissitudes of life still find friends, spouses, and careers. Perhaps, hmom5 is right in suggesting that the choice of college should be practical?</p>
<p>It's a major question-- is the university an institution that is meant to evolve to directly serve the society which supports it or is its intention to sit outside of that society which supports it the best that it can and instead serve a different purpose other than economic/measurable production and value. The university used to be the latter and it has been changing toward the former for the last 100 years. Who's right? It depends. Neither is wrong, and some schools take one approach and others take more the other. I think each place should do what it does best as purely as possible so as to not strive towards an end they're not well-suited to provide and I think students should choose their school based upon where their needs are going to be best met.</p>
<p>Stake out a goal for education, go wherever the structures are in place to best help you reach those goals. Hmom, I think, is setting all of those goals as being practical, and more directly, wealth production essentially. I personally have a far broader view for the purpose of my education, one that my parents looked at in great fear when I first got to school (considering neither had a four year degree and we're very much middle class and college has been a financial burden). Now we both generally are very happy with my feelings/interpretation of education and feel I've been best served in the system I chose. My sister is somewhere very different and she's having an equally valuable, if wholly different, experience. Neither of us could have gotten what the other wanted/needed at each other's institution.</p>