<p>I read all 26 pages of this thus far. BestMiler, I wish you the best of luck and commend you for having to cope with everything.</p>
<p>Let me tell you one thing...I have immigrant parents too. But they're NOTHING like any of the typical asian parents I've known and heard of. My father faced the same negativity from his mother when he was my age...Back in his country. My grandmother would always tell him that he was useless and wouldn't be able to do anything with his life--which sadly, would have been relatively true considering he was from a very poor upbringing in the Philippines. She would constantly blame him and his younger siblings for the family being poor, as all of their money went to food and resources.</p>
<p>One day, my dad couldn't take it anymore. My grandmother made one of her typical remarks and my dad told her "Mom, it's not my fault that YOU brought ME into this world. I do not deserve to be blamed for something I had no control of." From that day on, she NEVER said anything of that nature again. My dad stayed in school, shooting up to the top of all of his classes, was accepted and attended one of the top universities in the country, meeting the woman who is now my mother, and earned the rank salutatorian in his graduating class.</p>
<p>My parents came to America because they wanted the best opportunities for me. The only thing they ever stressed on my older brother and I was to GET an education. It did not matter where I wanted to go, or what I wanted to study. I did not have to live up to anything and was never ever compared to others academically. The only thing that they ever stressed on me was to at least be stable enough that I could support my own family one day. They wanted me to major in whatever I wanted because they believe that I will succeed best in something that I am passionate about. One day my dad sat me down when I was going through the college admissions process last year, and supported me...He told me that my happiness is the only thing I could ever 'repay' him with as his daughter. </p>
<p>Now, I'm not trying to rain on your parade because my parents are much different than yours. But I have learned from my father's experience of growing up and I will never forget what he said to my grandmother. Do not be so hard on yourself...You've tried so hard and you can only push harder to get to where you need to be. You do not NEED to go to a top university to be happy in your life. You should not feel worthless because your parents are repeatedly telling you that you are.</p>
<p>And, you should not feel blamed for being put on this earth, with your life, just because your parents made their own life decisions and sacrifices to bring you here. I can understand why you feel such a way, and sometimes I do under my own accord, but realize that it is your life that you control, not theirs. No need to live up to their dreams when you have dreams of your own.</p>
<p>It's not the end of the world; your life is barely starting and you have the rest of it to look forward to. More opportunities will come your way...It's up to you, and only you, if you pursue them.</p>