A hard broken Rejectee with no chance of a future

Applying to College
381

<p>BestMiler, I know you know you're not alone in this; I now you're not posting here just to whine and complain. You don't have people at home to help you get through this tough time. In fact, your people at home are actually making things worse. And I know you know that at the heart of all of this, your parents love you and that they are just not able to see the situation clearly because of cultural differences. </p>

<p>Personally, I think it's a very healthy sign that you have reached out for the shoulder to cry on here on this board that you don't have at home. I don't think you should spend your life trying to prove your parents wrong. You know they're wrong; I bet deep down, even they know they're wrong. They're just not handling this well, and that's a shame because you really aren't alone, there are thousands of disappointed seniors scattered around the country right now. The difference is, most of them have parents who are emotionally available to give them some sympathetic hugs and provide some guidance and perspective to help them get back on their feet again. </p>

<p>I'm not worried about you succeeding in life; you'll do fine. You're a great student, a great kid and a great son. I think you're feeling very unappreciated by your parents right now, but you also understand that cultural differences are at the heart of most of it. When my mother got a merit scholarship to college, her immigrant father told her she couldn't go to college because she was a girl and girls get married, they don't go to college. So she didn't go. She got married instead--and never quite forgave her father. Don't do that. Try to let it go if you can. It won't do you any good to add rage and hurt to the mix of misunderstanding that the anxiety of college admissions has caused. </p>

<p>If you want to vent, vent right here. There's always someone awake somewhere. :)</p>

382

<p>BM1, I was kind of being a suregate mom, if that was okay...you are a gentleman, I see it in your posts...</p>

<p>I think you will be just fine...and one thing to remember, parents can have a lot of )*(%# in their lives, and not do right by their kids, no excuse, but plan for your future, and if mom or dad makes a comment that makes you sad or angry, say, Mom, well, I love you, and I would hope you can love me no matter what school I go to. I know I can do well. Then stop talking. If she is mean again, say the same thing.</p>

383

<p>I read all 26 pages of this thus far. BestMiler, I wish you the best of luck and commend you for having to cope with everything.</p>

<p>Let me tell you one thing...I have immigrant parents too. But they're NOTHING like any of the typical asian parents I've known and heard of. My father faced the same negativity from his mother when he was my age...Back in his country. My grandmother would always tell him that he was useless and wouldn't be able to do anything with his life--which sadly, would have been relatively true considering he was from a very poor upbringing in the Philippines. She would constantly blame him and his younger siblings for the family being poor, as all of their money went to food and resources.</p>

<p>One day, my dad couldn't take it anymore. My grandmother made one of her typical remarks and my dad told her "Mom, it's not my fault that YOU brought ME into this world. I do not deserve to be blamed for something I had no control of." From that day on, she NEVER said anything of that nature again. My dad stayed in school, shooting up to the top of all of his classes, was accepted and attended one of the top universities in the country, meeting the woman who is now my mother, and earned the rank salutatorian in his graduating class.</p>

<p>My parents came to America because they wanted the best opportunities for me. The only thing they ever stressed on my older brother and I was to GET an education. It did not matter where I wanted to go, or what I wanted to study. I did not have to live up to anything and was never ever compared to others academically. The only thing that they ever stressed on me was to at least be stable enough that I could support my own family one day. They wanted me to major in whatever I wanted because they believe that I will succeed best in something that I am passionate about. One day my dad sat me down when I was going through the college admissions process last year, and supported me...He told me that my happiness is the only thing I could ever 'repay' him with as his daughter. </p>

<p>Now, I'm not trying to rain on your parade because my parents are much different than yours. But I have learned from my father's experience of growing up and I will never forget what he said to my grandmother. Do not be so hard on yourself...You've tried so hard and you can only push harder to get to where you need to be. You do not NEED to go to a top university to be happy in your life. You should not feel worthless because your parents are repeatedly telling you that you are.</p>

<p>And, you should not feel blamed for being put on this earth, with your life, just because your parents made their own life decisions and sacrifices to bring you here. I can understand why you feel such a way, and sometimes I do under my own accord, but realize that it is your life that you control, not theirs. No need to live up to their dreams when you have dreams of your own.</p>

<p>It's not the end of the world; your life is barely starting and you have the rest of it to look forward to. More opportunities will come your way...It's up to you, and only you, if you pursue them.</p>

384

<p>Bestmiler - Just wondering from your s/n - have you completed an Ironman? Or is that an aspiration? Sounds like you have set some pretty high standards for yourself!</p>

385

<p>Best, as I have commented before, I think your energy, enthusiasm and intelligence will carry you far. You will get over your current disappointment and come out a richer person. Good luck.</p>

386

<p>SUNY Albany is a nice option for you--and it got excellent publicity for dong surprisngly well against UConn in the first round of the NCAA basketball tournament. Sounds like a school you might very well be happy at and decide not to transfer. And if you do get in University of Delaware, that also has a reputation as a really pleasant school--so although I completely understand your disappointment and your distress wtih your parents' reaction, I think you will land on your feet next year. Get away from home, do well, make friends, have fun, and things will work out better than you expect right now.</p>

387

<p>Also, transferring is always an option. Do well for one semester and transferring to a top school like Michigan is a cinch. also apply to some no SAT required schools next time.</p>

388

<p>slipper do u go to columbia by any chance?</p>

389

<p>I went for a year...transferred out though! Great school, I just wanted a different type of experience.</p>

390

<p>

definitely...i just stay shut and listen to them...i try not to disrespect my parents.

[quote]
Bestmiler - Just wondering from your s/n - have you completed an Ironman? Or is that an aspiration? Sounds like you have set some pretty high standards for yourself!

[/quote]

no mam, i didnt do an ironman. im 17, my body isnt physically ready for a marathon, especially not the Ironman. Something i really wanna do when im from 29-33 year old. Its one of the greatest achievements of all time. The quote is just an inspiration, and IT IS TRUE...i mean i dont about the marathon, but even running a mile all out pace, by the third lap your dead, and you just wanna stop, but at the fourth lap, you just run with guts and glory and when you finish, you REALIZE, it was WORTH IT....i think the quote becomes more meaningful in the Ironman, because at 19.6 miles, lol im guessing your running on ABSOLUTELY NOTHING......
p.s anyone seen that gatorade commercial, where the guys just drops on the floor because of dehyradation?....thats the IronMan he was running :)</p>

391

<p>well right now im just trying all my best...my gc is the one of the best woman i ever saw....(including all the mommies in this thread :))
I decided to appeal to one college, and she is making me do two more. she is calling up the adcoms, and really working for me. She actually encouraged me to go all out, and she wants to go all out with me....I was really surprised when she told and really happy too. She called me down to her office, and she told me she that she wants to write an recommendation for me and she is really anxious about it. So i guess, im going all out, this next week coming, and if i get in, i do, if not, the ill try as a transfer. ill definitely keep you guys posted on whats happening with the decisions, and hopefully it works out
once again ty all for the support :)</p>

392

<p>You should just go to University of Phoenix online.</p>

393

<p>ijflexi, be serious.</p>

394

<p>Well I didn't bother to read through all 27 pages of responses, but you could try taking a year off. </p>

<p>Maybe going to a prep school, or working and doing something constructive and retake the SATs and reapply next year.</p>

395

<p>Another thing to remember, once you get out of college, and get into the workforce, nobody gives a rats a$$ where you went to school. Just produce. Be creative. Be resourceful. Do what you say your going to do when you say you are going do it. Be accountable when you fail and learn from those mistakes and you will be successful.</p>

<p>There are a lot of f-ups coming out of the ivies and a lot of success storys coming out of the Chico States and Towsons and SUNY Albany.</p>

<p>Decide on a school you have gotten into already and look forward. Look back only to understand the lessons you learned from the experience, then move on.</p>

<p>Make the best of the situation you are in. Look at your situation from different angles. Think of the wisdom the schools that chose you have demonstrated and what morons the ones that didn't are. Ask yourself why you would want to go to a place that didn't want you? </p>

<p>Also, I don't know if you are doing tris right now or not, but if you're not, find an international distance or sprint distance race near you and sign up for it. Train and finish it. You will feel great. Enter a bunch of 10Ks and run those. Start doing stuff where you push yourself and accomplish something. It will help change your perspective.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

396

<p>
[quote]
Ask yourself why you would want to go to a place that didn't want you?

[/quote]

wow I just realize this now, that is a very good point....its a very good way of looking at it.</p>

397

<p>well in about a few weeks i will find about my appeals
hope everything works out for me :) :D</p>

398

<p>Best of luck on your appeals.</p>

<p>Also, if you're in Upstate, NY, you should run the Boilermaker in Utica. It's the country's biggest 15K, and a lot of fun!</p>

399

<p>best, glad to hear you have a clear head and finally being proactive instead of worrying and frettng about everything you can't change! I have a feeling things will work out just fine and remember that transfering is a viable option should you not end up going to your aboslute first choice. In fact its almost like starting over and being given a clean slate to prove yourself again!! Good luck and keep us posted!</p>

400

<p>Well Today Im sending out my UC Appeal......We Will See what happens in about a fews weeks :)</p>