A lesson for all of us

<p>I am sure that at one time or another all of us have cautioned our kids about what they put out on the internet. I know in our family we have had conversations about how we are not as anonymous as we think as we type on a forum.</p>

<p>A recent thread about roommates has had a lot of activity - both in support and in questioning the OP. I think, however, there may be a very important lessons for the adults in this - our kids are capable of figuring out who we are discussing when we start to describe them or friends or roommates. </p>

<p>We all need to be more careful about what we write. None of us would want our kid to be dissected by a bunch of people who never met them on a highly traveled forum. I can't imagine what it would feel like to open a thread and know it was my child being discussed and her negative traits recorded for the world to read. I also can't imagine how angry my DD would be if she realized I posted stuff about her or her situation without her knowledge. So, I remind all of us (myself included) to be careful not to use identifying information - it's only what we would tell our kids.</p>

<p>Good advice, and absolutely true and fair. In this day and age children are very smart. They can, and most likely will, discover what you have written. I agree with this post...parents use tact and remember that children probably know a little more about the internet than you do....</p>

<p>On the one hand, it is amazing that some one could figure out who the OP & her D are on that thread, on the other hand, my first year on that other board back in 2000-2001, I recognized a good friend of my d posting- between his poster name utilizing his mum's maiden name and the subjects and his comments, I knew without a doubt it was him. I avoided that board for about a month and then strove to be more anonymous in my posting.</p>

<p>I think any given post can be anonymous, but when some one searches for all your posts, they can put together a pretty good idea of who you are and where your kids go, etc.</p>

<p>I actually met a poster at my Ds university, she had posted a lot about the dorms and was not only in the same dorm as my D, but right across the hall. I was not sure if I should say HI or if it would weird her (or my D) out to know who was saying what online.</p>

<p>I think it's pretty easy to figure out who people are on here. Everybody needs to be careful about how much personal stuff they give out -- ESPECIALLY when it's not about yourself. I mean, if you don't care if the world knows who you are fine, but no airing dirty laundry on your kids or their friends etc.</p>

<p>I am very paranoid about posting details here. My daughter went to a small high school, and if I had described people in her class (which I was tempted to do several times to make a point), it would have been easy to identify them. I've figured out who posters are here and people have figured out who I am. Where I live, it's not six degrees of separation, but one or two.</p>

<p>OTOH, without specific examples, CC wouldn't be as interesting.</p>

<p>I think workinprogress's message is very important. For a long time, molliebatmit posted about her (then) upcoming wedding. I was very uncomfortable reading those posts, as I thought it was way too easy to figure out exactly who she was and what she was up to.</p>

<p>I used to post here under my real name until I starting making frank observations about WashDadJr's high school. I didn't want them to retaliate against my son for my opinions.</p>

<p>It is really very easy to connect the dots, and some people leave a transparent trail. I have determined the real life ID of someone I don't even know personally, but my son does, and the details all fit. It behooves us all to be a little bit careful about what we post on public forums.</p>

<p>I agree. Some of the current students who post on my college's specific forum know who I am--those identities are very easy to figure out. In general, I do like to keep anonymous, so I'm careful to not post too many details in a single post or in a few threads around the same time. I may say X every so often, and I may say Y several months later in a relevant thread, and Z may be pretty common knowledge amongst regulars, but I'll try not to say X, Y, and Z in the same thread or around the same time. It's a small thing, but I believe it helps keep me anonymous from many lurkers, short term visitors, and lighter posters. I don't believe I've ever actually said the region I'm from, either, though it wouldn't be too difficult to piece together if anyone wanted to. Overall, it wouldn't be very hard for someone to figure out who I am, but I'm not going to hand it to you on a silver platter in a single post.</p>

<p>Molliebat had a public person via the admissions blogs at MIT, I never worried about her. I don't worry too much about my kids now that they are older, you could probably figure out who we all are if you really worked at it.</p>