We didn’t want to have the school involved In this at all. Thus no waiver. Just told daughters to give us their log in info. Simple, easy. I guess I could look at their grades but have no interest in doing so.
I’m with @katliamom and @maya54 on this one, I didn’t follow grades in junior high or high school and still don’t in college, zero interest and no need to do so. I do understand for some that deal with issues with a student’s performance/intentions it might be good idea. But if your kid has always been responsible, why be in their biz?
Frankly, I have no idea what my college gpa was but that was 100 years ago.
We had our kids sign waivers for access to finances, grades and medical info. We only looked to prod S about completing his incomplete, prod both kids to be sure they did all pre-read for degrees and make sure all bills were paid promptly. S had better grades in college than HS, which pleased everyone.
I don’t have access to my kids’ grades, but they willingly share and talk about how they’re doing in school. They also have a fairly high GPA requirement for their scholarships and know that if they lose the scholarships they transfer home to finish school.
We also get a discount on car insurance for their grades so I get a transcript once a year, but it’s never caused any conflict.
I’m not entirely sure the access to grades issue will be the same with our youngest, but it’s too soon to say.
We have access to parent portals for the financial side of things–basically we can see the bill and pay it.
They’ve signed medical POA forms in case of emergency, but we don’t otherwise have access to their medical care unless they tell us–they’re adults.
We have a waiver for medical info for D16, she gave me access to the financial portal at her school. She tells me her grades I’ve never had to ask to see them.
No clue why “heads would explode”. What you are describing is standard.
@MaryGJ - Yes, it’s standard but for many parents it is a surprise especially if it is their oldest child. First because they are used to having minor children and second they figure they pay the bills so…
What is this waiver called?
A FERPA waiver, different schools have different forms I think.
I get happy and sad texts from D when she gets grades on papers and exams. Not much mystery there.
I had access through the parent log in on the bursars office website. I guess my D set that up? I don’t remember now. I just log on and pay twice a year. I never officially seen her grades -but -she has always discussed her grades with me without asking. No worries there.
Because sometimes they run into problems at college and are too embarrassed or ashamed to tell their parents how much trouble they are in academically.
My son was a straight A student in high school and I didn’t pay attention to grades, but in college he messed up and fell behind in some classes. It happened that because of the way he was prioritizing, he was getting A’s in some classes, and D’s & incompletes in others-- and the A’s were in the more difficult classes. So his GPA was around a 3.0 (not bad) - but what I didn’t know was that with the uncompleted coursework and the D’s, he had fallen off track and would not have been able to graduate in 4 years. The problem started his freshman year, but I did not find out about it until after his sophomore year, when he decided to “take some time off” and then later arranged to have his transcripts sent to my house as part of applying for a transfer.
If I had known at the end of term in year #1, maybe there is something I could have done to intervene. I don’t know- maybe not – and I certainly don’t know what choices or limits I would have put on my son. Maybe I just would have sent him back year #2 and hoped for the best. But year #2 cost me a lot of money out of pocket and in hindsight it is something I would have wanted to know. I realize my son was a 19 year old kid who had never had problems academically before and probably thought he was going to be able to rectify things on his own --but he had similar problems his sophomore year. Obviously, he wasn’t able to manage the workload at that college at that time.
My son didn’t go back to college for several years, and when he did he was financially independent and paid his own way at an in-state school. He got very good grades and was disappointed when I never asked him about it – he was proud that he was doing so well. I explained then that I wasn’t asking because I wasn’t paying, so it was none of my business – but that I certainly did want him to share with me whatever he felt like sharing, and of course I was very proud when he told me had all A’s.
And when my younger kid went off to college – yes, I did insist on access to her grades, via the portal. My money, my right to document satisfactory progress to a degree. I told her that all I required was that she complete the amount of units needed to graduate on time and maintain a 2.0 GPA (same as were required to qualify for need based financial aid) – but that my money was tied to being able to verify that on my own. Of course my DD knew what had happened with her older brother and was very happy to share with me – and she did very well, so it wasn’t an issue. Most kids are happy to share good grades – they are rightfully proud. It is only when the kids are in trouble that they might also want to hide their problems from their parents.
It could be an issue with parents who have unreasonably high expectations of their kids, or who would try to interfere if the kid changed their major – but whatever my hopes were, my expectations were minimal-- so not an issue for m.
Like@AboutTheSame
I got access to pay the bill.
She also gave me access because freshman year she got sick during finals. She had to stay at the student Heath center after being at the emergency room the previous night. They worked with me to work with her dean to get her missed exam rescheduled.
My D was also on campus for sophomore summer and studied abroad and was going to be off campus for two terms junior year. She had already left the country when her grades came out and called me to let me know that she received a wrong grade. My having access to speak to her professor allowed me to call hi, explain my daughter’sconcern. He apologized for the grading error and corrected her grade.
If my kid chooses the college I think he’s going to choose, he won’t have any grades but pass/fail for the first 2 quarters.
The bills came to me. Son used a joint credit card for meals out (no meal,plan for weekends) and some other essentials. No surprises.
I didn’t ask for a waiver, BUT auto insurance went down if he was a good student. So, at the end of a year, I’d ask him to send me a transcript . I don’t think he saw this as intrusive. He wasn’t one to ask my opinions about course selection. Because his college had a residential system, he got advice from upperclassmen/women.
It was handy for our family that us parents had access to everything, to help clear things up and make sure things ran as smoothly as possible. It was also helpful to explain to S that if he didn’t get the Incomplete changed into a grade, it would be assumed to be an F, which was dragging down his GPA. That helped light a fire under him. 
We did have to challenge a late fee and also a fee for excess credits when there were glitches, but it all turned out OK. We were glad that WE had to deal with it instead of distracting our kids who needed to focus on their school work instead of these administrative headaches.
If you want me to pay for college, then I want to know how you are doing…like @calmom says, you want to make sure that all is going well. That the college is a good fit for them and they are not having some undisclosed issue.
I have read many a “Help me with my academic appeal letter” where the student messed up first semester and continued with the same behaviors the second semester.
My eldest had an apartment mate that wasn’t even attending college but said she was for the last year.
We didn’t request access to the kids portals. We simply asked them to show us their grades at the end of the semester. Both kids liked talking about their classes and how they were doing in school so we usually had an idea how they were doing.
D gave me the password to her portal so that I could pay the bills. She said it was easier than trying to set up a parent billing access account.
A year later in a chance idle conversation with her adviser I mentioned that instead of setting up a parent account D had just given me her password. The adviser said nothing to me but quickly sent D an email saying that I shouldn’t have the password. The reasoning was that if I accessed the account during an exam the assumption would be that D was cheating by looking up answers in the class resource links. D understandably freaked out a bit. I have no idea why the adviser didn’t mention it to me.
I had a parent guest account. That is odd that the advisor just told your D and not you about problems with you having kid’s password.
Both of my sons’ schools have a parent portal for paying the bills, and when there is a new bill, I receive an email. I think the student had to provide the parent’s email address (and perhaps that was the nature of the waiver) in order to set up the access to the bill payment website.