I start college in the fall and a form asks me if I want my parents to be able to access my grades. I got all A’s in high school and they never were the type to check the parent portal, they trusted my to handle it, so I doubt they’d be checking all the time. Although they can be a bit overbearing sometimes I think letting them see my grades could be helpful if I struggle in some way because I definitely have a tendency to hide my struggles. What did/do your kids do?
Why not? My kids did and I never said a thing to them about grades. Getting the grade reports was calming to me.
I have access because I PAY. Also because we haven’t figure out a way for me to pay without having access. Yes, I know there is a way to set up an account just for the parents, but it is too hard. Also, I can check other things which we find helpful like the class schedule and if as schedules if I need to make flight arrangements and I can’t reach my kids I can just look it up myself.
Honestly, I don’t look at the grades unless I have to. I was just helping my daughter set up classes for next year and the easiest way to see war she had already taken was to look at the transcript that has her grades on it. Her school has a lot of core requirements and all these ‘letters’ that you have to check off (she needs a ‘G’ and a ‘CH’ and a ‘WB’, and I’m good at figuring that stuff out but she isn’t so I’m helping). Easier with access.
I don’t have access but I do require my kids to show me their grades at the end of the semester before I make the next semester tuition payment. I think parents have a right to know if they are paying but it doesn’t necessarily have to mean access to the online portal.
My son just recieved info in the mail about setting up his portal and was specifically told, in the letter, not to give his portal info to anyone, including his parents. There is a seperate setup for payments and financial aid.
My kids school does not give students grades unless they ask to see them, so it does not matter for us, but I would never ask my child to give me access. If he was worried and felt that he needed more supervision in college, then that would be a totally different talk.
My older son told us his grades when we asked. Our younger son set up the portal so we could see them. I looked at them occasionally, more for CC purposes. (Was I remembering correctly how much improved his language grades were when I was describing the effects of a little immersion. Yes I was.) I do think if parents are paying, it’s their right to ask to be able to see that you are holding up your end of the bargain. If I saw poor grades (and I saw some mediocre ones, I’d like to have a heads up that there is a plan in place to improve them.) My kids were very open with us - including older son sleeping through a midterm once.
I think it is okay if they have had access in the past and been respectful about it.
I wouldn’t. You can always let them know and/or give them reports as you wish. I assume the only available grades would be final, semester grades.
Nice if YOU are the one to tell them about that poor grade if/when it comes. As an A student in HS followed by mostly honors A’s in college that was an awfully quiet (thankfully short) ride home for winter break when I told my dad about the C in my major junior year eons ago. In today’s world it is too easy for them to access information without any input from you. They may not realize a B is great for a given course. Do be prepared for less than a perfect gpa in college.
For what it’s worth, they would probably only have access to your midterm and final course grades and not individual assignment grades that might be available on Blackboard, etc. There wouldn’t be anything to check most of the time, so they wouldn’t have much of an opportunity to be overbearing.
We have access because it is the same portal through which we pay the bills twice per year. I had forgotten about the Parent Portal when my daughter was on a trip and waiting for her grades. The place where she was had a WiFi crash and she couldn’t check herself and asked me to look. Otherwise she tells us her grades.
If they want to have access it is a nice gesture to give it to them since they are the ones paying the bill.
I never want to have access to the portal, I expect my son to communicate with me if he finds it necessary. I treat the portal as something private.
We’re paying for our son’s college, but don’t require him to give us access to his grades. He’s an adult and with adulthood comes responsibility. Communicating your struggles and reaching out for help (to your parents, professors, and the tutoring center…) is an important skill. Whether or not you give your parents access to your grades is up to you, but I’d suggest you begin working on your communication skills either way. Giving them access to your grades won’t replace good communication. Have you told them that you have difficulty discussing your struggles? Talk to them and let them help you figure out a game plan.
You can research campus resources so you know what to do if you need help. Professors have office hours, but there are also tutoring centers. Find out how to choose courses; my son considers RateMyProfessor.com posts (with a grain of salt) to see what certain courses and professors are like and picks backup courses that would fit in his schedule in case one doesn’t work out. Make sure you know when the deadlines for drop/add and course withdrawals are (drop/add is usually a week or so into the semester; course withdrawal is later) and understand how the process works. Learn about your college’s grade replacement policy. If you fail, can you retake the course and have the new grade replace the old one in your GPA calculation? How many grade replacements can you have? Once you understand where to get help if you do struggle and what your options are if a class isn’t working out, it might be easier to talk about it.
It’s really a personal choice, based on your relationship with your parents.
In our case, I have full access to my DD’s grades, but I usually find out about a test/quiz grades when she calls to brag or complain about a test or assignment. I’m the person she likes to bounce “grade”/class related stuff off, while she likes to do the same with her mother on more social/quality of life related items.
It works fine for us, too, but if our son did not want us to have access I’d be OK with it - but I would expect an end of semester update, since we’re paying $$$.
We just don’t have a contentious relationship, thankfully.
I tried to tell my parents they couldn’t see my grades one year when I came home from college (many moons ago). They said that is fine but how will you go back next year without $$$? 
Classic golden rule - he who has the gold rules. 
We do not have access. We pay anyway. D tells us what she wants to tell us. We tend to hear good news. News has been light this semester and D has a hard load.
For freshman and sophomore years, I got a printout of the transcript after the year was over to apply for the good student auto insurance discount (3.0 or better average). I suppose if I don’t get one this year, that will provide information too, and I would probably be concerned. However, she’s 21, will be a senior next year, and it’s on her to figure it out. We don’t use money as a control lever.
I agree w/post 10. If a student were to tell me that I could pay their way, but they were an adult now, and their grades were secret, I’d find that too inconsistent. If the student is fully paying his/her own way, then I’d say ok to keep them a secret. One can’t argue they are an adult if Mom and Dad are still paying their bills.
My H and I are JUST like ClassicRockerDad. D1 is a junior, in the sciences, and hard on herself. I know she gets some B’s and doesn’t want to advertise it. We don’t ask, don’t pry, and she tells us what she wants us to know. If she thought she had to tell us, it would put more pressure on her. Our attitude is, we know you’re working hard, and we are proud of you.
I think different families have different ways of handling this. I prefer a hands off approach because my kid is nearly an adult, and her future is at stake. But if I had a kid that was prone to partying or I had concerns I would probably find a way to check in on things.
As a mom who is tortured by the hell that is Parent Portal, I’m on the fence about knowing their grades when they go to college next year and the year after.
We are leaning towards not wanting to know, if only to let them know that we expect them to have their stuff together with regards to grades, and they won’t be getting any nagging texts from us to study harder if they bomb a quiz. It’s on them when they’re in college.
I can’t ride them the entire four years to make sure we get the best value for college-it will stunt them and eat me up. It’s more along the lines of roulette-I put my money down, set the ball rolling, and hope for the best.
I would like them to want to tell us how they did when they are home between semesters, that would be nice.
I believe that parents do have the right to have access and I have no issue checking on my sons grades occasionally and giving him a “nudge” if it looks like he’s playing too much. We teach our kids to be responsible and to openly communicate with us but sometimes things happen and it even at college, it’s ok for parents to remind them the reason they are college.