a lost civil engineering student ! help, advice

i really don’t know where to start, im in my forth year of civil engineering while i dropped two courses because i was afraid to get dismissed because of my law GPA
so it means that i only finished 3 years of engineering but i failed a lot where im still in level two courses i have a 2.2 GPA and only 50 credit passed out of my 138 BS’c in civil engineering credit
after i finished high school i got a full scholarship to my current university and lost it in my 3rd year
now im considering changing my major into English let(english isn’t my mother language )

my family always been so supportive and just want me to study ,and i had to lie often to hide all my screw-ups
i really feel guilty and depressed ,my mother told me finish engineering even if took you 8 years it doesn’t matter
but i feel i wont be able to continue even if i want to i failed in so many courses i missed many finals i skipped many classes and for that i know im not such a typical responsible student ,what about engineering student!

regarding all that at this stage i want to save myself and get a degree
im not sure if my problem is with my major which i obviously don’t like or its just me
im afraid even after i change i will have the same issues
i dont know if there is a chance for me to continue engineering
or any other major i already wasted 4 years now im a 22 years old without a degree
i tried working in a contracting company thought that will help me to love my major and be good at it i was good in my job and got paid good but it was all the same for my studies
i feel sorry for myself and my family because they really believed in my and i didn’t
now i only have one month even less to decide what to do
my mother wants me to continue and just start working hard
i want to have a new start to hide all my screw_ups(i love reading and writing poems)
so its one month to decide what to do with my life !
im in a stage in my life where im completely lost
and i only want to save myself
and i want to change before I’ve never used to settle for secondaries options but at this stage i think i should accept the least where my chances are…!!!

It appears that engineering doesn’t suit you and that it was not your idea.

Your task is to find something else. Factors in choosing that should be: what you like; what you’re good at; and what will give you gainful employment.

Above you’ve mentioned English (literature?) and reading and writing poems as things you like. You said you worked in a contracting company and was good at it and “got paid good.” I don’t know really what you did in the contracting company, but whatever it was it had good value to someone. Provided you didn’t hate that work, it seems for you an area worth developing competence in.

Forget the engineering program (at least if you are in the US, where there are quite enough other ways to get by occupationally). It is not the case that we should necessarily live out what our parents have visualized for us. So don’t worry about disappointing your parents by shifting away from their idea.

At http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Degree=Bachelor_of_Arts_%28BA%29%2c_English_Literature/Salary are examples of employment that English literature graduates have gone into: in business, technical writing, teaching, etc.

Your engineering background may help you get work in technical writing. (It’s not poems, but people will pay for it.)

Your parents’ idea for you was inappropriate (if you’re in the US at least), and they will experience peace about the issue when they understand that.

Thank u for taking time and reply to this
The thing is no I’m not living in the us
In here u have less available options to do with English literature degree it’s where u become a teacher and get paid poorly
Or u work as a translator

So trying harder with engineering isn’t an option at this point

Once again thank u really

=((

Are you paying for college or is it free where you’re at? If free, is there a time limit? Are grades important?

I would start by looking into what courses you have trouble with, and why. Were you working while studying? were the professors of no help (in other countries you’ll be surprised).

I’ve been in a related predicament - I was in Civil Engineering but with fairly bad math, a byproduct of choosing the easy way out of high school. I tried and tried and eventually graduated, and that was it.

Figure out what went wrong, and set a plan. If you don’t know why you did poorly you cannot fix it.