Absolute shock and desperation over financial aid letter

<p>This whole thread is about choices. The OP has CHOSEN to volunteer at her daughter’s school for tuition. I imagine if she were working the last 4 years she could’ve/would’ve made WAY more than merely the cost of tuition. Not employable at age 54 (4 years ago)?? I doubt it. Not saying it wouldn’ve been easy, but again, it’s a choice. They have CHOSEN to place all of their hopes on one school, a school that seems to be out of their financial reach. I understand completely that no one chooses to be a widow, but it happened. Life is not about only what happens to us, it is about what we chose to do with the circumstances we are given.</p>

<p>Jobs are found through networking and contacts and creativity which the OP on the surface seems to have and 59 is not exactly senior citizen status thank goodness. Whether the OP decides to look for a paying job or not is the OP’s choice. Makes sense to many of us since she’s been working in some unknown capacity for several years and additional income will help pay college bills, but it is still the OPs decision. Mature women who have been out of the workforce for decades need to be alittle creative how they package their life experiences but there are possibilities other than Starbucks and Walmart tucked into every community big and small.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Yes Michmom…oh those midwestern mentalities and work ethic LOL gotta love it!</p>

<p>oh please – midwestern mentality – you mean like unions demanding jobs for teachers, and the rest of the non-union people can take a hike?</p>

<p>“Yes Michmom…oh those midwestern mentalities and work ethic LOL gotta love it”</p>

<p>As opposed to east coast big city mentalities I suppose? Like most things, the differences in opinions here come down to how people feel about personal responsibility and accountability.</p>

<p>“as well as underserved criticism when possibly erroneous assumptions are made. We should all pretend that we’re giving advice to our best friend when choosing tone of voice”</p>

<p>If it would make you feel better, I can say the OP excercised poor judgement more politely. Doesn’t change the facts, nor does it change the message I am sharing. Sometimes the truth hurts. If you don’t want the truth, or you have preconditions on how you want people to respond, don’t post an open cry for opinions/help on a public message board.</p>

<p>We can choose to try to help, or we can choose to provide useless criticism of past actions (which could possibly help someone else who stumbles upon this thread).</p>

<p>"oh please – midwestern mentality – you mean like unions demanding jobs for teachers, and the rest of the non-union people can take a hike? "</p>

<p>Please don’t paint with such a broad brush. I have never been a member of a union, nor has my husband, nor anyone in our families. Most of Michigan is NOT Detroit, thankfully. We ARE hard-working middle class people trying to get by and help our kids get an education.</p>

<p>Mich, if some want to aplaud midwestern ethics, I feel comfortable commenting on. I think OP has worked hard for her DD, volunteering to get her into good HS. I dont see attacks on her as heplful or fair. I would guess many criticizing her are not close to 59 and have not been in a long term marriage.</p>

<p>"We ARE hard-working middle class people trying to get by and help our kids get an education. "</p>

<p>That is most of us on this board. </p>

<p>I do feel badly for the OP. When my first child went to college, I made a huge mistake in the process and kiddo almost couldn’t go to a 4year college. Many people are caught unaware when their first kid applies. </p>

<p>I think there are several ways that it’s possible for GT to have come up with more aid: imputing an asset value based on the interest, counting social security (especially since, at this point, the student is the one getting it so it could be assessed very high as a student asset) or putting a value on her work (she mentioned that the school official had mentioned the value of tuition in her conversation after receiving the award letter). She needs to understand which, if any, they did and respond to them. </p>

<p>OP, just a word of caution: You said you are expecting acceptances (it’s probably more accurate to say admissions decisions) and possible financial aid awards from some more schools. Do not be surprised if some of these issues come up with the other schools. They might not all impute assets (then again, they might) but, if part of this is caused by your daughter’s social security payments, they may all expect her to ‘spend’ as much as 50% on college. This is part of why it’s so critically important to pursue merit. The meet-full-need Profile schools may not work out for someone with $400K in assets ($300K in investments, $100K in home equity) and your family income (which is not $30K because you have to add in the social security and that could be another $15K) . If you still have a chance, do NOT mention anything to the other schools about how you bartered for your daughter’s high school tuition to the other schools. They are not sitting around wondering how you paid for it! The high school could have given your family financial aid, you could have spent down other assets or someone could have contributed-- really, there are a million ways and I doubt the college financial aid office is wondering. By the way, around here, it is not uncommon for the Catholic schools to give financial aid but require the students to do some work at the school.</p>

<p>I interpolated and now my interpolation is being interpolated…Yikes. Thanks 2college for getting back on track!</p>

<p>The OP has not responded to the plan B advice many posters here gave her. She need to start the plan B immediately. First thing first Monday morning should call the schools which gave her D full-ride scholarships and ask whether the packages are still available. The deadlines of some rolling state schools have not passed. ( In Michigan, MSU’s application deadline is is May). They can still apply, although these schools are not as high ranked as GU. Her D can still go there for a year and transfer later. The ivies may give admissions, but very likely they will give similar packages if they use the same input data to their formula.</p>

<p>Plan B is more important than the negotiation with GU before April 1.</p>

<p>“Was this really employment under the guise of volunteering?”</p>

<p>If so it was a disgustingly exploitative deal. $20k/year in that field is appalling. I would say bartering makes more sense because perhaps she did not have the skills to get a proper salary, nor did they have the cash to pay her one. It worked out well to barter. I do not have any idea what the tax situation is, but it truly sounds like a bartered deal, not employment under another guise.</p>

<p>To those who would suggest the OP has business sense because she can plan an itinerary for a trip to Italy and gets a fair deal for her daughter at a local private high school… dear me. I should be on Wall Street. I planned a five-country trip with two kids! Oh, wait, that actually wasn’t that hard, and I didn’t even have a travel agent.</p>

<p>I have to say though I feel some sympathy for the OP, I think Stevenandrew is spot on in his assessment. OP’s D apparently had ‘full-ride’ options she threw away. Best thing OP could do for herself and her D is to follow the excellent advice on this thread, and deal with reality.</p>

<p>I don’t know why someone who has substantial assets, has chosen not to work for pay and who apparently has not, over their whole adult life, put a penny into a retirement account nor into college savings, should be given huge financial aid at a top-tier, top-price U.</p>

<p>I think OP is just terribly naive, about finances especially. She also sounds a tad entitled. When I saw in the appeal letter to the school about “being out of the country and unavailable”–I really wondered if someone was pulling my leg.</p>

<p>Most people cannot live on their investments. OP should not be living on hers, either–she should be working or trying to work. I understand she worked a ‘deal’ at her D’s school–essentially, she was paid and I think wants to misrepresent that. </p>

<p>I get that she wants to send her talented D to GT. I wanted to send my talented D to a prestigious LAC–couldn’t afford it, didn’t do it. (My D’s getting an excellent education at a price we can afford.)</p>

<p>OP had that option and walked away from it. I hope she can hustle and reclaim one of those ‘full-rides’!</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Here is the IRS view on bartering</p>

<p>[Tax</a> Topics - Topic 420 Bartering Income](<a href=“http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc420.html]Tax”>http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc420.html)
Topic 420 - Bartering Income</p>

<p>*Bartering occurs when you exchange goods or services without exchanging money. An example of bartering is a plumber doing repair work for a dentist in exchange for dental services. The fair market value of goods and services received in exchange for goods or services you provide must be included in income in the year received. </p>

<p>Tax Responsibilities of Bartering Participants*</p>

<p>If you engage in barter transactions you may have tax responsibilities. You may be subject to liabilities for income tax, self-employment tax, employment tax, or excise tax. Your barter activities may result in ordinary business income, capital gains or capital losses, or you may have a nondeductible personal loss.</p>

<p>[Tax</a> Responsibilities of Bartering Participants](<a href=“http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/article/0,,id=188095,00.html]Tax”>http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/article/0,,id=188095,00.html)</p>

<p>Barter dollars or trade dollars are identical to real dollars for tax reporting. If you conduct any direct barter - barter for another’s products or services - you will have to report the fair market value of the products or services you received on your tax return.</p>

<p>My cousin married a young woman who graduated from UVA with an IR degree, then went on to GT for her masters & worked in foreign diplomacy after that. She now says she would really prefer to have gone to UCharleston for college … she doesn’t see any reason why she could not have gone on to be successful at GT for grad school, and she feels she would have enjoyed her undergrad experience more at UC (she had a full ride to UVA, thus the reason she attended). She says GT for grad is what you should be aiming for. Undergrad is less important than grad in IR field, in her opinion (and she is a mighty smart woman).</p>

<p>As for 59 year old women returning to work after being at home for many years … good heavens, are we decrepit??? Yes, it was difficult to return to work in my 50’s, and no, I don’t earn a huge salary. But every penny I earn is a penny more than I had. I thought we left the damsel in distress behind a long time ago …</p>

<p>^^ The rules for education related benefits are different than for general barter.</p>

<p>"Education Below the Graduate Level
If you receive a tuition reduction for education below the graduate level (including primary, secondary, or high school), it is a qualified tuition reduction, and therefore tax free, only if your relationship to the educational institution providing the benefit is described below.</p>

<p>You are an employee of the eligible educational institution.</p>

<p>You were an employee of the eligible educational institution, but you retired or left on disability.</p>

<p>You are a widow or widower of an individual who died while an employee of the eligible educational institution or who retired or left on disability.</p>

<p>You are the dependent child or spouse of an individual described in (1) through (3), above."</p>

<p>[Publication</a> 970 (2010), Tax Benefits for Education](<a href=“Publication 970 (2022), Tax Benefits for Education | Internal Revenue Service”>Publication 970 (2022), Tax Benefits for Education | Internal Revenue Service)</p>

<p>We only know what the OP has told us and advice about her investments, her job, is not what she is seeking here. She got an estimate for aid, given what she told fin aid at GT which does not match the actual award after she completed and submitted the forms. Clearly what was on the forms is what is at issue here since methodology is not going to be changed. If there has been a mistake or a gray area that can be interpreted differently, the aid might be changed. I think most of us agree that a big change in the award is unlikely. But the OP needs to know exactly what is causing the numbers to be as they are and if no changes will be made, other alternatives need to be sought unless the OP is going to pay that cost for college. That she should not have dismissed other options before she had the bird in hand, is done. Yes, I think she knows that it was a mistake to do this. She can revisit those offers and see if any can be revived. She can hope that the other schools are more generous, Her daughter can take a gap year if the assets and income are such on a one year basis that makes the award what it is and that the next year would be vastly different. Those ar the alternatives.</p>

<p>I’m 57 and I was mostly a stay-at-home mom for the years my kids were growing up – I wouldn’t change that for the world, although I appreciate it’s not for everyone. Yeah, it meant we lived on a single, modest income. Sometimes we were flat out poor even. </p>

<p>When the kids were getting close to leaving for college, I started working here and there, different jobs, often seasonal, and I enrolled in classes at the community college in business skills, software, accounting, etc. thinking it was something I could do until I was quite old. And also knowing I’d need to be working until I was quite old, sort of in exchange for those wonderful at-home-with-the-kids years.</p>

<p>I will never make the big bucks, and I don’t even want to work full-time (yes, I’m that spoiled or entitled or whatever you want to call it), but my point is that even in your 50’s you can find a way. That is, if you want to. I’m not judging anyone (including the OP) that may not want to… it’s her life and she gets to live it the way she wants. She also has a big chunk of assets that I don’t have, so if I had that money I might have done things differently myself.</p>

<p>On the other hand, life is going to change when her daughter goes to college, and maybe just starting by putting a toe in the water – like taking a job skill-related class at a community college – might actually be a good experience and contribute to the OP building a life, now about to be hers alone. You never know where things will lead.</p>

<p>Back to financial aid, the posters are right that say colleges are not making decisions based on whether or not they think you should be working. Can you imagine how chaotic and capricious their financial aid processes would be if they were making value judgments on how much they think people should be earning? People are unemployed by choice or by circumstance, how would they know? Should part-time workers get off their butts and get full-time jobs? Are stay-at-moms being indulged? This is all WAY more convoluted than the actual reality of financial aid. </p>

<p>In need-based aid they look at NUMBERS. Income and assets are determined to be available to pay college costs in some established proportion. They put your numbers in the system and generate an aid award based on both their policies and the government formula. If you need an adjustment to your aid award you then explain your individual circumstances and hope they can be persuaded to tweak their formula or their policy. This is where it can get a little subjective and it’s probably a poor tactic to talk about trips to Europe and such.</p>

<p>I wish the OP good luck, but I also know a bright student does NOT have to go to an expensive selective private college to be successful. This is a point where parents and students can lose sight of the difference between want and need. If the want is strong enough, it’s their decision how to spend their money, how much is worth borrowing, etc.</p>

<p>There has been some great advice on this thread, but all the judgement about life choices and whatnot seems beside the point and unproductive.</p>

<p>I think the point of the employment discussion is to help the OP figure out how to pay for the GT tuition, not to be critical of her life choices. I don’t see that as particularly unproductive. She worked to send her child to private school why not college?</p>