This is my first post on CC. I’ve been lurking for years. I’ve read the thread about being in a high school without counselors, but what do you do when you have them, but they’re beyond awful? My kids go to a large suburban public high school with counselors who know nothing about college admissions. The counselors are not only often unavailable, but respond to email and phone calls about half of the time. Students have missed scholarship deadlines because the counselors did not submit required paperwork in time. One of my son’s friends told me that his counselor gave him the wrong information about the requirements for a full tuition scholarship that she should be familiar with. Luckily, the friend said she knew what the requirements were and just ignored the counselor’s information.
I figured out pretty early on that the entire counseling office was a complete mess, and I rarely ask anything of them unless I have to. I have a child who will be a senior next year and I’m dreading having to ask them to submit letters of recommendation (so much so that we’re trying to only look at schools that don’t require any letters from counselors). I’ve had a few unpleasant exchanges with my child’s counselor, and I honestly believe that if given the opportunity, she might sabotage the application process. Other than the counselors, we have a good school. However, the principal is in denial about the counselors. We have students who get into selective colleges, but everyone knows that their parents are the people due the credit (or the private counselors they hired). How do I make sure that my child’s applications are sent out with the right information and in a timely manner? I am so stressed about next year. We have two teachers who have already agreed to write positive LORs, and they’ve both admitted to me that they think the counselors are horrible.
First, you shouldn’t be asking the counselor for the recommendation, you child should. Your child should do this fairly early in the year, and have a resume of sorts to give to the counselor. Then, he or she should ask if there is anything that would make it easier for the counselor to do this (more info? what child plans to study?) and then ask if it’s OK for him or her to follow up with them in a week.
And then keep following up. If counselor doesn’t get it done, then your child should go to his or her boss, and then so on up the ladder.
Would you consider a private counselor? Some of them have good strategies for “working around” a high school GC and they can be helpful in compiling a good college list. And some work through skypersonal so it doesn’t have to be someone local.
I know some people just hate the whole concept but ime, the right CC can really take a lot of stress out of the situation for both the student and the parents.
Have your child get the recommenders lined up now. Tell them that he’s going to be applying rolling admission or early access so that you need the recommendations uploaded as early possible after the common app opens. Then have your child check the individual college portals to see when all the information is uploaded. If they are missing stuff after a reasonable period of time, have your child go to the teachers or counselor (if they haven’t done their part) and ask for it to be done. As the above poster mentioned, if the counselor isn’t doing their job, have your child go to the next higher up. The good news is that your child will be entering most of the information himself and test scores go directly from the college board. I also just want to say that it stinks to be in that situation. The process is hard enough without having to worry about the counselor not doing their job. Sorry you need to be dealing with that!
The counselor is going to need to do the school report to most reputable colleges, and send transcripts. Their office may control routing the tracker letters via Naviance, depending on how that is set up. The good news is that most colleges don’t hold it against the kid if the school lags in providing things. I would NOT avoid schools or scholarship obligations due to poor GC work or communications.
A few things you can do:
Have your kid decide on their schools early in the process. Have some EA or rolling admissions that take some pressure off.
Never rely on the GC for info. Do your own research with colleges on due dates and requirements.
If you need something from the GC office, communicate early and clearly, and remind if needed.
Don’t snap at them — very few schools will penalize a kid if the GC misses a deadline, but the kid’s part is on time. GCs know this, and kind of roll their eyes at frantic parents or students.
Plan ahead for winter break. GCs are out, and apps are often due in that window. Get apps in early and work with GCs (and teachers) to get everything in a couple weeks before the break if the due dates are during break.
Take the horror stories you’ve heard with a grain of salt. A kid or parent may blame the GCs when the kid or parent could have done something to avoid the problem, too. Assume they are overworked and under resourced. That doesn’t make them incompetent or spiteful. Be polite and encourage the same from your kid even when it gets stressful.
Yes, I am aware that the students ask teachers and counselors for recommendations. I used the term “we” because the counselors honestly don’t often see students in their offices unless a parent physically goes to the school and demands an appointment. My child has stellar grades and test scores, and is very much liked and respected among the teachers. She has been able to navigate every aspect of high school, except dealing with the counseling office. She, and many others, have gone to the counseling office many times with questions only to be told that her counselor is busy and can’t meet with her. After the third or fourth time I have to intervene, although I’d much rather have her handle it all on her own. I realize that most of the people on CC probably can’t relate to a counselor pretending she isn’t in her office when she actually is, but it really happens. Her boss, the senior counselor, mainly deals with disciplinary and attendance problems, and doesn’t have much to do with college applications.
I feel your pain. I learned quickly just how “forgetful” the counselors were with my first one. Give them recommendation forms and they didn’t fill them out but claimed your child never gave them to them. I got smart and started dropping the items off myself. Oh, there was still the response of your child failed to drop them off. I agreed and stated that my child didn’t drop them off, I did. We did our own scholarship research. With recommendations, I did a follow up with the schools and when they hadn’t received them, sent an email to the counselor (I like to have things in writing) and copied to the college admittance office.
Karma did get the counselor with the last one. During Fridays lunch she handed my daughter a blank form for her test accommodations and told her, in front of her friends (including a teachers child) for me to fill out the form and bring it back on Monday. When she gave me the form, the first thing it states at the top is “to be filled out by school personal only”. I googled and found out that the form had to be in to the state by Tuesday. Nothing like last minute. I wasn’t about to touch the form, so Monday morning I emailed and did several follow up phone calls (voice mail). When I had no response by 1 p.m. I called the regional office of ed and asked if anyone there could help me with the form. I only wish I could have heard the calls they got from the head of the education office. I know they got fried over it. She finally returned my call at the end of the day and stated " I told her that you only had to sign it". I don’t sign blank forms, blank checks, or blank credit card slips. I never did see or sign the completed form but she got the accommodations she needed.
Basically all I can tell you is stay one step ahead of them and do your own research. Follow up with the schools on the recommendations and email the counselor reminding them. with a copy to the school admissions. This way the college sees that you have done your part but the hs failed and some colleges will call the counselor to remind them.
You are cutting out schools and scholarships unnecessarily if you are avoiding any that require a GC step. If your kid does have good grades and ECs, you could cost yourself tens of thousands of dollars.
Also, have your kid make an appointment, not just walk in. People can be in their offices and still not available for walk ins. If the counselor blows them off then, make a parent-student appointment with them. You can’t go around — you have to go through. Be polite and firm as needed.
It sounds like your counselors don’t like drop-in visits. That is ok, your daughter can email them a week in advance with 3 proposed times for an appointment, and copy the supervisor on the email. She should have her resume prepared and ask if there is anything else she can do to help the counselor prepare the letter. If she knows at least a few schools she will absolutely apply to, go ahead and list those now. Also, the counselors likely work for at least a few days outside of the class term, and that may be a good time to consult.
Thanks everyone for the great advice. I might just look into a private counselor; I can’t rule anything out at this point. DD will start working on her essays this summer and I hope she’ll have her college list ready by the start of school. My husband and I will make sure she gets everything lined up in advance. Our school’s counselors are overworked, but they are also unprofessional and appear not to care very much about the students they are supposed to be helping.
If you use the Common App, I believe the counselor only has to do the recommendation once. I would have your student ask the counselor to fill that one out early, as soon as the Common App opens.
No, they don’t like drop in visits. The kids go during what’s referred to as “open hour,” when the counselors are supposed to be available, but rarely are. I do like the idea of having her email with several proposed times. We’ll see how that goes. Like I said earlier, they only respond to email or calls about half of the time.
@GloriaVaughn I can understand forgetful, as we all make mistakes. However, constantly being late with important documents should get people reprimanded. I wouldn’t sign any blank documents, either. Great idea to copy the colleges in on communications with the counselors. Thanks!
You know…your child CAN apply to colleges without much help from the school counselor.
I’m not clear exactly what you want from this person that you can’t find out yourself by reading the college websites. Could you perhaps explain?
Have your kiddo submit the applications to these colleges as soon as possible after they open. Regular decision applications just submitted early.
Your school counselor will need to do a counselor recommendation and report where required. You need r9 find out who is responsible for sending letters of recommendation and transcripts…this varies by school.
If you get your part done early in the process…then your kiddo will have time to monitor and make sure the other parts of the application materials are sent.
Make yourself a checklist for each school…and check and recheck to make sure the schools have received the info.
Also, check the process at your school. Some places have a written request from to submit. If that is the case…get it done.
You say your counselors know nothing about college…and frankly, I find that hard to believe. More likely, the person has way too many kids to deal with…and your HS junior probably isn’t going to be on the GC’s radar screen at all until the start of her senior year. It’s that way at many high schools…especially large ones.
A private counselor might be worth looking into for you if you have the resources to pay for their services. But that private counselor isn’t going to be able to get things sent to colleges from your kid’s school. The private person can help tease out college choices, help with resumes, help with essays, help keep the application timeline going. And some are very cognizant of scholarships, and deadlines.
A private college counselor does not replace a GC at school. They can supplement with helping identify schools, evaluate essays, etc. But colleges require certain things come from the school itself, and that will be the GC. I never expected our GC to track deadlines for us, either. And GCs realiy aren’t involved in anything related to need based financial aid. So you have to own whether your kid’s list makes economic sense.
@indiethoughts Yes they should get reprimanded but when every thing you have seen in the district is run that way, no one is going to say anything. Sorry for the double post earlier.
Holy cow, I would NEVER copy a college on your tit-for-tat about due dates with a GC. Not in a million years. Do you want to get labeled as the PIA parent? It will NOT help your kid’s admissions.
While your child/you can keep on top of the materials being submitted, my concern would be that the GC might write a bad recommendation. Isn’t he/she required to write one? In that case, the kill her with kindness approach would work best, unless there’s some way to bypass her? At our kids’ school, someone who knows the student very well writes their senior appraisal, which somehow is a substitute for the GC recommendation requirement.
I would start by making a chart for each school. On the chart have dates and details of what needs to be done. Then I would have my child start by going thru each chart. I think hiring someone might not be a luxury but a necessity. I would also tell my child that they are going to be working/paying part of the fee. ( I often do this to get my kiddos to have skin in the game and have since they were tots). It works. When they pay ( even a small amount they pay attention). Also, you might be able to break the steps down and use the counselor only for some portion.
Poor counselors/teachers/or principals are par for the course so you have to figure out how to get what you need without upsetting the person. I think a meeting is a great idea. Being extra kind will also go a long way. Making everything organized is the way to go. And don’t forget to have your son/daughter send thank you notes ( must be written not email). This will go a long long way.
