Hey all, this is a very complicated question and I really, really need help.
I am a senior who has been accepted at some good schools (not Ivies, not top LACs, but good). I filed FAFSA (and may file CSS) with my parents' information, but here is the deal: I am hoping to cut off all ties and contact with my family when I leave for college.
How do I explain my situation to colleges? I am planning on going into a low-paying field (Social Work), and, as such, won't exactly be in a place to be so far into debt. My minimum four-year total costs would be $44k at a public state school, and nearly $200k at a private- both with extensive scholarships.
My situation has gotten especially bad this year, in that I currently have a GPA under 3.0, and lack a place to sleep. I am not legally cateogrized as "at risk" or whatnot. I fear that at 17, nearly 18, it is too late for me to do anything about this... I am not looking to get them arrested, rather, I just want to be free of them.. and hopefully of debt.
Sorry for how garbled up this is. I just want to get by.
OP so sorry to hear what a rough time you are having. I encourage you to share a bit more and to let the experienced posters on this website help you. It must be miserable to want to break ties, but take a breath and focus on the long term.
It is probably not what you want to hear but there are two things you might want to consider.
Your best way “out” of an abusive situation is through education. If your parents have at least shared their financial info with you, you are in a position to get an education while maintaining contact with them. It is up to you and your parents how minimal it would be. Your financial aid depends on this, unless you want to go the much more complicated course – which others with more expertise can explain – which is becoming independent. However that might mean a gap year, or others changes of plans. Not necessarily a bad thing, and I hope others will chime in. But to file for financial aid as a dependent, you have to maintain contact.
Social work as you have noted is not lucrative. Are there advanced majors anywhere that you have applied? That would mean grad school in only 1 year. Have you heard about the Bonner Scholars? It helps with loan repayment and a small grant during undergrad. Did you apply to schools that have it? Also consider Americore or VISTA volunteers who get $ toward tuition.
If you could bear to live at home for another year or two for community college, and if you plan to go on to a state school, it would reduce your costs. Given that you are trying to get away this might not be feasible but I want to underscore what you said about avoiding debt. It is hard to tell from your post what extent the abuse has arrived at.
If you are under threat of physical harm, have an emergency plan: $20 in cash and important documents (birth cert, drivers license, etc) handy at all times; a person who knows of your situation and whom you can call day or night to take you in; a small bag packed with two changes of clothes; and the awareness that you can walk away to head off danger or if it is already unleashed and you are physically threatened, call 911, because YOU and your well-being are important.
Unfortunately, you can not get aid based on talking about what you intend to do; you will get aid on your current situation.
I would recommend that you speak with your GC and explain your situation. Keep in mind that every adult in your school is a mandated reporter, so if there is a situation of abuse, they will have to contact the authorities.
You would have to supply a lot of documentation; police reports, reports from child protection agencies to use as a criteria to get a dependency override where your parents income and assets would not be used to determine your eligibility for aid (since you are talking about private schools, each school will have their own process for the documentation that you will need to submit.
What exactly does this mean? Are you living at home with your parents? Are you couch surfing and living separately from your family? If you are not living with your family and lack a fixed place to live, the housing liaison at your high school can declare you an unaccompanied minor under Mckinney Vento (but you have to tell them your situation). They can also assist you in finding a safe place to live.
If you lack a place to sleep, you’d be considered homeless (if you’re staying at friends’, couch-surfing, etc.) You need this to be recognized. You’d be then considered independent.
However if you don’t do anything you’ll depend on your family for financial aid until you’re 24.
Proceed carefully if they’re abusive and do carry essential documents+cash+emergency info with you at all times; know it’s your right to walk away if you feel threatened.