Academic Trajectories Growing Up

Parents Forum
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How would you describe your child’s academic trajectory from early on through high school/college? (Early can be anywhere from birth through kindergarten/starting school.)

Has your child always been an academic star? If so, was it because school was always easy or because your kid was always willing to work for it? Was your child an academic star until school became more difficult and the child had to work for academic success rather than it coming easily? Was your child someone who was always bright but not that interested in school? Or perhaps your child was always rather lackadaisical about school and then at some point got a fire lit under them and started to put forth more effort to succeed academically? Or perhaps school was a struggle academically, but then a light bulb went off and everything started to click? Perhaps some children have always been on the same academic curve (whether top or bottom, lazy or hard-working) while I imagine that other children have changed academic curve lines (quite possibly multiple times) while growing up. I would love to hear anyone’s stories about their own or their own child’s progression.

I’ll go on ahead and start with what I know about my own academic trajectory, the earliest part of of which is based on my parents’ recollections. I was a late talker, presumably because each parent spoke a different language to me. I had attended immersion schools for a few years, so I know that when I entered 4th grade, I was not in the top reading group (though whether the bottom or middle, I couldn’t say). I had a sibling who attended a HYP and thought of similarly-viewed colleges for myself (yes, I was searching out colleges while in late elementary & early middle school) but my family would remind me that I didn’t need to think about those types of schools with my grades (I don’t remember my grades, but feel as though they were mostly Bs to A-s).

In middle school I finally got my parents to agree to let me go to public school in the gifted program (the only way they would let me leave the private school). From that point on, I started to thrive academically, with respect to doing my homework, being an active participant in classroom discussions, studying, etc… From then on through college I remained on a solid track academically. I was definitely strongest in the humanities and social sciences, while being weaker in science, and weakest in math. I put forth good effort but was not going to go overboard to master my weakest subjects. (By going overboard I mean I’d go in before school to practice muscle identifications, and ask for help from the math teacher during lunch, etc., but I wasn’t studying math 3-4 hours a night trying to get it.)

Anyone want to share any stories, of your children or yourself?

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My D was always a hardworking, high achieving student, and identified gifted early on. We always found ways to keep her challenged, especially in HS where the bar was much higher because of the cohort of students. College has been no different in terms of work ethic and achievement.

I had a similar trajectory. H as well, except he coasted through K-12 and didn’t have to try very hard to get good grades until college. Both D and I always had to study for our grades.

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I was reading at 3 apparently by watching Electric Company, not because my parents tried. In K I was spending part of my day in the 1st grade room. Started 1st grade and hated it, was quickly moved up to 2nd grade which was a fit. Through school was known as the smart one, and I didn’t have to try too hard, but I wasn’t too far out of the norm in my noncompetitive public. I was NMF, but 4th in the class because I wasn’t as fastidious as the Val, took harder classes than #2 and 3, and I didn’t care that much if I got a B sometimes.

DDs were always pretty bright and conscientious, mostly A students consistently throughout (same noncompetitive school as me), but not overly academic. They had to work at math. Composite ACTs of 25 and 27, so good, but not way up there.

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I am a child of college-educated parents who were loving but very hands off about my education. I worked hard in high school, but wasn’t interested in going away for college, and neither were my friends.

I am the only one of four to get a degree. My academic “trajectory” was a six year stroll to the finish line. I spent a lot of time ditching class and going to the beach. As I strolled, I got put on academic probation. That woke me up.

My husband is one of six working class British kids, all of whom have degrees. His parents never attended college. I think the fact that the government funded their educations was the main reason they all went to college.

My kids’ academic careers are pretty predictable, given that hubby and I are both college educated and I live on CC. I won’t bother to describe their paths to college again, because most people here probably already know. :laughing:

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Me: Gifted programs, Johns Hopkins CTY program, all honors/AP classes. Graduated 5th in my class. Never worked hard for it. Never learned how to study. Chose a NESCAC because it felt like home when I walked on the campus. Which meant turning down higher ranked schools. Graduated cum laude. Never worked hard for it. Never learned how to study. I was a “night before” girl because I could be and it worked for me then. Those lack of skills are one of my biggest regrets now.

Spouse: Really hard working, average student in high school with some honors classes. Graduated from college in Accounting summa cum laude. Learned a process that worked for him and worked that process. Still works that process in everything he does. Diligent is who he is.

S1: Got my luck and a lot of Spouse’s approach. High school was all honors with 1 AP. Natural test taker. 3.7 GPA. Leaving college this week with a 3.9, a job waiting for him and a “develop a plan, work the plan, evolve the plan” mentality.

S2: Academics have been the bane of his existence. Very naturally bright. Reading challenges, executive function challenges and extreme test anxiety. Never completed (literally just didn’t answer the questions) our state mandated testing until 10th grade when required for graduation and then passed with lowest acceptable rating. 2 honors classes in high school early on. 2.7 GPA after significant upswing senior year. 1st year done at college. Finished first semester on academic probation with .75 GPA. Figured out the right support systems and dug in and will finish the year around a 2.0 cumulative GPA. He’s been a “night before guy” but in his case because he didn’t know where to start and assumed it would end in failure anyway. That’s shifting now.

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Me: Always ahead of the curve according to my parents who said I started talking early and went straight to sentences, not words. Almost failed 1st grade though, because I was bored stiff. They thought I couldn’t socially handle school. Straight As, high scores, but only 2nd in my class because there was one boy who excelled even more. Went to college on AF ROTC scholarship, in part, to get away from my parent’s bad divorce. AF ended up kicking me out due to asthma (which I never had - bad test) and I settled for being a mom. Then I moved into teaching due to a flexible schedule. I loved it - still wonder what “could have been” though.

H: Smart, did very well at his school, but his school had a lower bar than mine, so better than average scores, but struggled adjusting to college. Part of his struggling was being too busy with many other things and never studying. Nonetheless, graduated with a 2.0 in Engineering and has owned his own company for the past 20+ years. He’s very highly sought after with clients and headhunters.

Oldest - super smart from birth and amazed many who came by wanting to put him to whatever “test” they had. He did puzzles for older kids from about 1 year on and could talk intelligently about pretty much anything - super reasoning ability. Majored in business, but can also do a lot with a computer hardware and security-wise. Currently working in his field.

Middle - started REALLY slow with walking, talking, reading… and a fellow church goer suggested we get him tested when he was 4 to see what was going on. He couldn’t say half (or more) of the letters in the alphabet at that time. We parents assumed we’d find a non-educational path for him. BUT, he tested GIFTED, on a 7 year old level for everything except speech. WTH? They said something about his brain not being wired correctly and they’d work on it.

He started speech therapy which continued through 2nd grade. In K - 2nd he was in the lowest reading group. His first grade teacher commented to us about it and we asked his speech therapist if the two were connected. They were. She taught the teacher how to work with him and the teacher created a “special” reading group just for him to do so. We are incredibly thankful that he was open to doing so instead of not caring. In second grade it all just “clicked.” By 4th grade he was reading above a 12th grade level. Now he’s my current doctor. We’d have never, ever, guessed back when he was 2-6.

Youngest - very smart from birth, but only interested in topics that interest him. He’ll study to be an expert in those, and willingly get a B or C in anything else. He’s the one who convinced me that Naturalist belongs in the Multiple Intelligences Theory. As a toddler he was into flora/fauna in depth. I tried to get him to major in Botany, but what do moms know? He opted for International Studies - and then rejected job options to start his own Permaculture Farm. Now he’s living his dream and teaching others in that field.

It’s been fun/rewarding watching them all grow up to become who they’re destined to be.

Now I have to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

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Me: School was always easy for me, but I also wanted all As. Hated that everyone seemed to use my grades as a basis for how well they did. Love the “parents were very loving, but very hands-off education.” Mine left everything to the public school system, and preferred that I do tons of ECs with my spare time. I only applied to 1 in-state public uni, got in and got my civil engineering degree summa cum laude without ever pulling an all-nighter. I did pull many a drinking all-nighter though…

H: also had the hands off parents. He was an average student who was told he’d always struggle with math. And IMO that killed his math education. he is deathly afraid of anything that has to do with a number. Wanted to go to the AF after college, but a miscommunication occurred when he went for his physical. He didn’t have the proper dress and had a very bad experience. Went to CC to be an electrician, but after getting shocked too many times, he switched to PE teacher. He transferred to my uni where he unfortunately learned he had to pass Calculus to graduate. Happiest D he ever got (and probably didn’t earn though he tried very hard).

Older S: star of their private K-8 school. Everything was easy for him, but he didn’t really stress about grades. School pushed him ahead in math. I was more concerned about him growing up happy and well adjusted socially, as that’s my family’s weakness. He dated a high achieving GF for 3 years in HS. I credit her for lighting a fire under him figuring out all the weird things he likes to do. He did well in college and enjoys his work in his field, and recently started a side gig. He lives with his GF (not the HS one!) and they have a puppy. They are happy. Mama is happy.

Younger S: He is also very smart, but not like his brother and had to grow up with the “Oh you are S’ brother.” Though he usually got the top scores in his classes, I had to listen to "I hate school. School is stupid. Teacher X and Y are mean. " every… single… day… The teachers WERE horrible in middle school and we transferred him out a year early. He was much better then. In HS, after watching his brother work hard and be waitlisted (and his GF mostly rejected) from the ivies, he seemed to change and care about his future/college. He applied to 4 publics and got into all 4. He found a major in college that fits him perfectly. He has done SO well in college and talks about how much he likes his classes. He sends me papers to read just because he’s proud of them. He got a great internship this summer and I am so happy for him. Socially, he definitely inherited H’s side of the family. He’s a cool kid, and also has a GF that we adore. He’s happy. Mama’s happy.

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My wife and I were high achieving kids both from parents that did not attend college. We both went to a very good college. I struggled in college, but got it figured out by the end. She did better than I did in college, but wasn’t a superstar.

D19 - Super fast start as a child. Could have easily skipped a grade early. She did well in HS. Good std test taker. Grades could have been a little better, but she took a ton of APs. Passed all but one AP test. Then sometime during second semester soph yr or first semester jr of college realized med school wasn’t going to happen. She has good grades, but I think she is bit burnt out.

D23 - Similar to D19 as a child. Maybe a little slower to read, but once she got started there is no stopping her reading. So far slightly better GPA than D23 in HS. First crack at ACT didn’t go well. Waiting on SAT results. She has passed APs so far. Has 3 coming up. She is a walking encyclopedia of facts. Great memory and has gone done many rabbit holes on youtube or internet and retains everything. I stopped fact checking her a couple of years ago. She was never wrong with obscure facts. Doesn’t have the confidence her sis had at this point.

I know a lot people don’t like standardized tests, but I always paid attention to those results K-5. No redo’s of tests on those. No parents doing homework. I always wanted to know if they could do it on their own.

We as parents made sure the kids had a good foundation starting school. Made sure they always did their best. That was the key. By middle school we as parents only had an observatory role. Didn’t get into the day to day. There have been times we had to tell one of them to buckle down. I always told them don’t lose the easy points. Helps with the grades.

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Me: at the lower end of the “top students” in high school - in all of the Honors/AP courses, but one of those that received the B’s. There was no such thing as weighting back then, so I was barely in the top 20%. Got into CMU (somehow), started with a 2.25, then 3.0, then up to Dean’s List last three semesters. Then MBA at CMU, first in class. So I certainly improved over time.

Kids: will be interesting to see how it plays out long-term.

Older D was similar - mostly H, some AP course, just outside top 10% weighted. She has to work her tail off to keep up, lots of tears over the year, but she developed a grit and resilience that will serve her well. Engineering at Purdue was similar - probably in the bottom half of the admitted class stats-wise, and significantly challenged, but graduated with ~3.4, which I believe is well above average for engineering.

Younger D has been at the top of everything she does. At a meeting with teachers at the end of 1st grade, reviewing state standard test scores, the teacher said “first graders just don’t get these scores”. DYS, SET, 1560 in 8th grade, never anything under a 96 quarterly grade, 99.3 overall, valedictorian, 3x AIME, etc. But I’m concerned that she hasn’t really faced challenges or adversity, and has been a bit lazy in her efforts. Little drive to stretch and let her existing ECs slack off. AP Physics C was the first class to challenge her (still has 96+) and it was very stressful/hard to deal with for her. I think it might serve her well to have not been admitted to MIT/CMU/etc., and to enter the Honors College at a still-top20 CS program.

As I said, long-term trajectories will be interesting.

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