"Accepted and Relieved, Until Thoughts Turn to Financial Aid" (NYTimes.com)

Paying for College
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<p>Pamela Lauzau, 63, put three children through Boston College and took a $400,000 second mortgage on her house in Alexandria, Virginia, to do so, which funded about two-thirds of the cost. The family didn’t receive financial aid.</p>

<h1>With her husband unable to work because he has dementia, she took a job as a school bus driver for the health insurance and sells real estate. Her youngest child graduated in May.</h1>

<h1>The story of the woman who took out $400,000 in loans to send her 3 children to BC is very sad. Her husband is disabled by dementia, and they have had to sell their home to pay back those loans. BC could have offered some financial assistance to this family who paid to send 3(!) kids to their school. </h1>

<p>I know it sounds harsh, but someone who knew she’d be 63 years old when her last child graduated had NO BUSINESS borrowing that much to give her children a luxury education. </p>

<p>People have to “do the math” and determine whether they will likely be a in a position to pay back those debts. If she’s 63, then likely her H is of a similar or older age. It’s a gamble to assume that we’ll get to that age without any health issues which would interfere with working and paying back huge debts.</p>

<p>It’s not the school’s fault that this family had the income not to qualify for aid, and chose to borrow to cover 2/3 of their EFC. Either this woman has a high income or the H’s dementia is a rather new thing. </p>

<p>The monthly payments must be about $5k per month! What must her/their income have been to think that was ok???</p>

<p>for them not to qualify for ANY aid, means that they have a high income. They chose to borrow. </p>

<p>A school shouldn’t have to give aid just because a family will borrow to cover its EFC and end up like this. This isn’t a NYU situation where low-income families take out loans because they didn’t get much aid even tho they qualified for lots of aid.</p>

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<p>Of course. My kids know exactly what I can contribute, and what they can, and we’ve already talked about loans and limits I think are appropriate.</p>

<p>My S has acceptances to some great schools but knows not to get too excited until we see what the FA situation is.</p>

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<p>" I just hope that I can hold my ground and put my money where my mouth is when my own son is ready for college in three years. "</p>

<p>Oh Sally, me too! Only in our case, this is a transfer from CC so holding our ground is coming up in about a month and a half, rather than three years from now. There are days when I think that the primary reason for spending time here is just to make sure I keep my own head on straight.</p>

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<p>I actually told my daughter that accepting the scholarship money rather than being full pay at either top ten or top twenty five universities where she was admitted would impact her inheritance. Because she took the scholarship, we can continue to save.</p>

<p>I also think that there is a perception that everyone at tippy top u is better than every kid at big state u and that is simply not true. A brilliant kid can get a great education at a top fifty or top one hundred school. My theory is that a bright, motivated kid can be challenged anywhere.</p>

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<p>Just looked at the Bloomberg article, and I was struck by the very first sentences: </p>

<p>“Terry Williams borrowed about $7,000 to earn a degree from Spelman College 38 years ago. For her youngest child, a sophomore at Belmont University in Nashville, she will take on almost $40,000 in parental loans.
Williams, a 59-year-old widow who runs a nonprofit that helps black families navigate private-school admissions, is watching her retirement savings dwindle as she pays college bills for her three children, Bloomberg Businessweek reports in its Feb. 6 issue.
“I’ll probably work until I fall dead at my keyboard,” the Decatur, Georgia, resident said in an interview.”</p>

<p>Honestly, if people who are in a position to know something about the process make this kind of decisions, how can we expect one-time players to think the financial consequences through carefully? Perhaps it is telling that the interviewees who are in significant debt speak about “fit” as the reason they are shelling out so much for their children’s educations. It may be time that we ditch that concept, and replace it with something along the lines of “good enough”.</p>

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<p>^ That woman may be able to help navigate admissions but she doesn’t understand diddly about college financing.</p>

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<p>“I actually told my daughter that accepting the scholarship money rather than being full pay at either top ten or top twenty five universities where she was admitted would impact her inheritance. Because she took the scholarship, we can continue to save.”</p>

<p>Hey, I LIKE that approach! I’m really starting to get nervous about some of the schools where D1 has applied. I had been saying that she’s going to have to shoulder any costs above X but I will be beside myself if she decides to go for it. I’d hate to be one of those “save her from herself” parents but I think if there’s any time when it would be prudent to do so, this would be it. I will make her read Debt Free U before she makes her decision.
I do agree that a bright student will make a good future for him/herself no matter (within reason) what school he/she attends. Her father and I managed to get this far at State schools…</p>

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<p>My kids know that they won’t be allowed to go into debt for UG. While we can’t afford the very pricey LACs, there are many others that they can attend. I believe in finding a good “fit”, but I am sure they can find a few where they fit in that are in the budget. We are in our mid-50s and won’t be going into debt to subsidize UG loans or to sacrifice our retirement. Good students can get a great education pretty much anywhere.</p>

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<p>When my S applied to schools, he was told the same thing his D was told: Apply if you want, but understand that the final decision will be based on financial aid/scholarships and the bottom line. His sister knew without question that Tufts was a no-go the second she saw her aid letter … but I had to have a firm discussion with S when he received his letters. After I wrote it out for him, with real numbers and all, he got it. He was disappointed, because to him a $15,000 scholarship/year is great … but once he saw the debt involved … and heard Mom say, in no uncertain terms, that the old folks would NOT be borrowing … he understood. Was he disappointed? Yes. But life is full of disappointments. He is at a school we can afford, and he is fine. He may have liked the other school better, but he will like this one more when his friends are repaying student loans, and he can buy more recording equipment and take good snowboarding trips down the road!</p>

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<p>The bummer about college debt is that the kids don’t see the down side until it is far too late. It isn’t like when you buy a new car or a new house and you pay right away.</p>

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<p>You know what really irks me- people looking down on my D’s college choice. She narrowed the schools she applied to based on the amount of merit aid they would give her. She chose her college because it is everything she’s looking for and she will exit without any debt at all. I wish people would stop being surprised why such a bright young lady didn’t apply to Harvard, Yale, Notre Dame, U of Virginia, etc. We did our homework. D would have received no merit aid and the only financial aid would have been in the form of loans. </p>

<p>I don’t know what I’m trying to say, just that we aren’t willing to go into $30,000 of debt or more so D could attend her dream school that the high school could brag about. Does that make us bad parents? I guess so since some people are saying that they wanted more for their child or that they thought our D would have gone somewhere more impressive.</p>

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<p>^^^^ Don’t sweat it, linnylu. You and your daughter made the right decision. We are in the same boat and I have pretty much gotten over the guilt trip that uninformed people try to make you take. We feel very comfortable with our decisions now.</p>

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<p>Seriously…whatever happened to “bloom where you’re planted”? Not one of my kids got a great offer from their first choice schools. But none of them have wanted to transfer after the first year, even when it was affordable/feasible to do so. This idea of “fit” based on a few college visits and some third party research is so odd. I find it hard to believe that most kids wouldn’t adapt, even thrive, if they went into it with a positive attitude and viewed their college education as an opportunity, not an entitlement.</p>

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<p>After I wrote it out for him, with real numbers and all, he got it. He was disappointed, because to him a $15,000 scholarship/year is great … but once he saw the debt involved … and heard Mom say, in no uncertain terms, that the old folks would NOT be borrowing … he understood.</p>

<p>==========</p>

<p>Oh yeah…a $15k per year scholarship to a pricey private sounds like a lot, and it sounds like too much to turn down…but if the parents can’t pay the other $35k+ then it might as well be a 1500.</p>

<p>We see this all the time…kids who need HUGE financial help (especially with merit-based aid), will get mesmerized by some partial tuition scholarship when they need at least full tuition so that the child and family can come up with the room, board, fees, books, etc…which can be $15k+ right there.</p>

<p>Linnylu…Many of those others have not “been there” yet when it comes to college for their kids. I can remember friends insisting that we send our kids to pricey elites, but they when THEIR turn came to send their kids to college (and they did the math), they saw things differently.</p>

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<p>Gosh, I really like that post. Spot on.</p>

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<p>There is no doubt that it can be painful to get accepted into a nice private school and then have to face the facts that even with financial aid, you can’t afford it. This issue is not just for those kids that are just out of High School.</p>

<p>Independent adult students will run into the same thing. First experiencing the elation of getting into a school that they want to go to so badly and then experiencing the letdown. This happened to someone close to me and it was no fun. She was accepted to start as an adult student taking at least one night class. She then realized how much financial aid she was getting and how much the classes were going to cost and had to drop out.</p>

<p>The good thing was that she was able to apply and then get accepted to a state school. The aid was enough to finish with a degree. </p>

<p>The problem that most people have is understanding how to navigate the whole system of going to school. There is so much to know about it that it is incredibly difficult to realize all that you have to do and then take care of it. From the financial aid forms to the applications, there is a lot of ground to cover.</p>

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<p>This whole situation is so completely unfair! Low income students go to flagship state schools for free while Chinese and international students flock to the US to pay full price when they didn’t even fill out the application themselves. Meanwhile middle income families get stuck with full price if they are lucky enough to get admitted. My son at U of I doesn’t even qualify for work study and has not been able to work in the 2 years he’s been a student there. Our kids graduate saddled with debt, but what’s worse is our debt! We will be closing in on retiring and with son number 2 going to college next year, we will be looking at thousands of dollars of loan payments a month. And Obama wants to cut off the funding for the state schools that raise tuition? That will only make them raise it even higher! And people wonder why our economy is in trouble!</p>

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<p>Low income students RARELY go anywhere for free. I’ve been a low income student at a state U (income below $25k every year but this past year) and I would be $40k ish in debt if i wasn’t fortunate enough to get an outside $20k scholarship. I’m sick of the myth that low income kids go to school for free. At top schools, maybe. At average schools, no.</p>

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<p>“My son at U of I doesn’t even qualify for work study and has not been able to work in the 2 years he’s been a student there.” </p>

<p>How far off campus was he able/willing to look for that job? Back in the last century, everyone I knew at ISU had jobs off campus. If that kind of job isn’t available anymore, blame the overall economy (or even the local economy) rather than the university system.</p>

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<p>Don’t quote me on this, but I think the Obama plan is to incentivize states to increase their support to schools and will more likely affect private schools rather than the publics. IIRC, there was some provision in the 2008 law to look at increases as a factor of the HEPI which seemed to make sense…don’t know what happened to it though!</p>

<p>I’m surprised your son hasn’t been able to find an on-campus job that’s not tied to work-study if he’s at a large university. My kids’ (SUNY) schools have many non-WS jobs with the verious on-campus venues and, of course, paid research assitant positions, RA/AA positions, and paid internships are worth pursuing. Not to say that it’s easy, but hopefully he’ll be able to find something on or off-campus soon!</p>

<p>Here’s the thing about being “full pay” at an instate public though…there really is no such thing. Every instate kid gets a fairly hefty discount off the true cost due to taxpayer support. </p>

<p>I know it’s easy to envy the low-income kids, but I know very, very few who are going to school for free. The Pell grant is capped at $5550/year and then there’s whatever state aid and smaller federal programs like SEOG and work-study (which does have to be earned). It’s rarely enough to avoid loans entirely though and low-income parents often don’t have the borrowing options. I have yet to meet anyone who’s willing to trade their middle-class paycheck and lifestyle for the relatively small amount of FA the average low-income kid gets. I’m betting there are even fewer middle-class college students who would want to make that trade and have to scramble to pay all/most of their expenses at their local school because their parents simply can’t contribute anything.</p>