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He said that his men's college provided no birth-control resources until female students joined them.
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<p>And, it wasn't an indictment. Just a simple statement of fact. I know my college noted just how much they had to ramp up services to properly accommodate female students.</p>
<p>This whole thing started out with someone saying that colleges went a hundred years without contraceptive health services. I was pointing out that many of these colleges also went a hundred years with NO WOMEN in their student bodies or governing boards, so those historic standards are not terribly relevant to today's co-ed colleges.</p>
<p>I believe this is a good question to investigate when looking at colleges. Since my H. and I both came from large state Universities, it never crossed my mind to ask much about student health as I just assumed it would be like when we were in school. In our experiences: D. is at a small LAC--has a student health staffed by a nurse, limited hours and does refer to local hospital and urgent cares. S#1--medium U. with no medical school--24 hr. student health with nursing staff and limited Dr. hours (he had GI problems fresh. year and they were good about doing follow up blood work). S#2 Medium sized U. with medical center--24 hr. health clinic with Dr. 24 hr. As far as birth control/gyn issues, I know that both son's schools offer services, obviously D's doesn't as no Dr. on duty (as far as exams).</p>
<p>Yes, that would be comforting: no need for ds to risk life and limb crossing the street or venturing into town, heaven's forbid, to get to a drug store!!</p>
<p>hereshoping, no need for sarcasm -- we're all on the same side here. Surely you realize that teens sometimes don't plan ahead to have sex? Putting condoms on the counter conveys the message that people care for your wellbeing, and that taking responsibility for yourself and your partner is socially approved.</p>
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As for suggesting that "women need GYNs as teens" and men don't need a urologist until middle age -- was that a joke?
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No. The health care needs of women of child-bearing age are much more involved and expensive than those of men. (Try getting affordable health insurance for a primarily women-staffed small business.) Even for those who practice abstinence. It's just biology. Male parts are generally on the outside. I'm sure if you surveyed this board, the vast majority of men never had to see a doc for any "reproductive" issue until the age of the dreaded prostate exam rolled around. And this can be done by a GP. Conversely, girls should start seeing a GYN for pap smears, etc. in their late teen years. </p>
<p>I really don't want to beat up on idad. But the topic was contraception availability in religious schools. I said that it wasn't a big issue to worry about for parents and students who had attended the schools for more than 100 years. (Basically -- If you don't agree with their policy, don't attend or take care of those matters on your own.) Idad said that was because many schools had no female students, so contraception availability wasn't an issue. That is a problematic assumption, and idad clarified that he does not, in fact, believe the responsibility of contraception should be entirely the woman's. Then he said this:
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Nevertheless, we do live in the real world. Women (and parents of high school and college age women) have more of a vested interest in the matter, as evidenced by the number of births nationally that occur as "dad" is hightailing it over the horizon in a cloud of dust.</p>
<p>I'm not sure an historically male college or a college governed by males is likely to have quite the same views on the subject.
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This has me puzzled. I don't know why male administrators would hold different views on the responsibilities, both legal and moral, of paternity, than those of women administrators. That's all I am trying to say.</p>
<p>celloguy: Sometimes I feel as if I've stumbled into a parody of some kind when reading these kinds of threads. In my opinion, if a guy isn't ready to "plan ahead" then that particular guy is not ready to be having sex. The fact that parents are actually inserting themselves into the personal birth control decisions of their sons is mind-boggling to me. What's next: campus condom deliverypersons? 24 hour assistance in putting it on in case ds and gf happen to be blitzed that night? My sons would DIE if I expressed any of the concerns some of the posters have expressed, above. If Mommy has to concern herself about ds's sex life, we have a problem here. Imo.</p>
<p>hereshoping, the fishbowl isn't provided by "mom" -- it's provided by the campus safe sex club, which in turn is funded by the student activities office like any other campus club. This is peer support, and the peers have decided it's a valuable and important function.</p>
<p>Also, why do you specify "guy"? Isn't that a sexist assumption? Or did you mean "guy" generically?</p>
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This has me puzzled. I don't know why male administrators would hold different views on the responsibilities, both legal and moral, of paternity, than those of women administrators. That's all I am trying to say.
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<p>Okay, what I was trying to do was quote Rose Kennedy: "If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament."</p>
<p>I used "guy" because I am the mother of sons. Traditionally, I believe, it's the "guys" who buy the condoms when making the decision to have sex with a special someone. Likewise, a girl might plan ahead by getting birth control pills, being fitted for a diaphragm, etc. Now for casual hookups, I can see how a fishbowl of condoms in the bathroom may be quite handy: unfortunately, I do not approve of casual hookups. I think things like the "campus safe sex" club are also absurd. I'm just on another planet, I guess. :)</p>
<p>we can peacefully agree to disagree; whether you (or I) "approve" of casual hookups strikes me as irrelevant. I guess the difference, from what I've read, is that some people believe sex education and reproductive health care "encourage" casual sex, while I believe that sex is going to happen and it's in everybody's best interest to provide protection.</p>
<p>Reproductive health care is needed even for celibate people. Sex education and bowls of condoms for the participants in casual hook-ups are two very different things. In fact, I would argue that the later negates the good done by the former. I'd encourage thoughtful, responsible approaches to sexual expression. A condom may cut down the chance of disease or pregnancy, but it won't help with the emotional consequences of casual sex.</p>
<p>Oh dear. Realty check! Kids have sex in college - lots of it! Much of it (unfortunately) unplanned and (unfortunately) not necessarily with anyone "special." I'm sure, not your kid or my kid, but...</p>
<p>I think if you don't want your kid to have easy access to condoms or other birth control then a Catholic college might be just the ticket. But for the rest of us - whoa! - I want my kid and all these kids safe. If that means I get involved (and I do!) - so be it. If that means the health center or student "sex club" is involved, well, that's just great.</p>
<p>The tragedy though, would be the family who chooses a Catholic college because it's a great school (as many are), but they don't think about this issue ahead of time and don't deal with it.</p>
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The fact that parents are actually inserting themselves into the personal birth control decisions of their sons is mind-boggling to me.
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<p>The whole point of an effective reproductive health/contraceptive health and counseling service at a college is precisely so that parents do NOT have to inject themselves into the situation. Or, so that students can KEEP their parents from inject themselves, as the case may be.</p>
<p>As the father of a young woman, I want her to have resources where she can feel comfortable getting the advice and services that she needs. If that is her physician, fine. If that is the college's services, find. If that is her mother, fine. As a practical matter, when she is away at college, her personal physician and her mother are not particularly convenient options. Thus, I would prefer a college that provides a comprehensive health service.</p>
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<p>Sidenote: the relevance of the male/female college thing is that most of the religious schools (like the secular schools) were historically male colleges until just within the last few years (approx. 30 years ago). I believe that, if you check the Board of Directors at most of the historically male colleges, you will still find disproportionate underrepresentation of women. For example, it would not suprise me if the corporate board of historically male Harvard University endorsed Larry Summers questions about the suitability of women for top-level science research. After all, the nine member board consisted of eight males and one female.</p>
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The tragedy though, would be the family who chooses a Catholic college because it's a great school (as many are), but they don't think about this issue ahead of time and don't deal with it.
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<p>This is what I meant by stumbling across a parody. Who's having the sex here, the kid or the family?</p>
<p>With sex comes adult responsibility. Or should. Unfortunately, that birthright is being taken away from these poor kids.</p>
<p>Celloguy, I think my point is quite clear. Your analogy is flawed, because speeding is not a consequence of failure to use seat belts. Failing to buckle up does not cause speeding. Casual sex, however, brings deep emotional baggage.</p>
<p>I think every college kid already has access to condoms. The drug store, the 711, the grocery store. Hardly a "tragedy." Having to take even this small amount of responsibility for protecting one's health & avoiding pregnancy? Oh dear. Too much to expect, I guess.</p>
<p>I think it is funny that parents get more upset when college kitchens offer fatty, starchy food that can lead to obesity than they do about colleges encouraging casual hook-ups with bowls of condoms at the ready for when the hormones overtake clear reasoning.</p>
<p>folks, while you're getting all ramped up here, my own issue is over the lack, not of contraceptive services, but of insurance coverage for these services, when the campus health service insurance provides (virtually) everything else, short of cosmetic surgery, etc.</p>
<p>They give a talk at freshman orientation about protection, but I would hate to hear of students choosing not (or not able to) pay out of pocket (or, obviously, ask parents for money) & thus forego contraception.</p>