Hello,
I am relatively new to the guidelines of writing an effective essay for the ACT (I will be taking my first this weekend) and would greatly appreciate any feedback regarding length, structure, etc. that could get my score in a higher range. My main issue right now is time-I tend to dwell on small details rather than the big picture, and end up having to rush or leave the essay unfinished! With that being said, can I get an approximate score on this essay?
Prompt: Because of increasing academic standards and of the average student’s abilities and commitments, colleges are now considering using the contents on Facebook and other social media as part of the criteria for a student’s admission. Many see this as a way to learn about parts of a student that are not part of the normal application and resume, such as their personality, friends, and social habits. Others, however, see this as a breach of privacy and argue that Facebook in no way gives an accurate or complete portrait of a student’s academic promise at a university. Should colleges be permitted to use applicant’s Facebook content in their considerations?
In your essay, take a position on this question. You may write about either one of the two points of view given, or you may present a different point of view on this question. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
Essay: With its constant, gripping stream of news and information, social media has indubitably glued Americans to their computer screens for hours at a time. Indeed, based on the extensive exerted by many to maintain their online image, colleges are using such sites to evaluate prospective students’ personalities and social lives. However, due to the psychological tendency to falsely present oneself to maintain societal homogeneousness and the environment of untrustworthiness fostered by such investigations, it is unadvisable for universities to consider an applicant’s Facebook content for evaluation.
Facebook activity should not be factored into a university applicant’s evaluation due to the common tendency to falsely portray personality in public. Consider the case of Guy Montag, a man secretly opposed to the technologically-driven, dystopian society imagined by Ray Bradbury in the novel “Fahrenheit 451”. Despite his angst, hatred, and sense of imprisonment engendered by the obsessive and homogeneous tendencies of his peers to follow a consistent and bland lifestyle, Montag conforms to the predetermined norms, acting exactly as his friends and family do. This only brings about further unhappiness for the man: his monotonous facade earns him a career and wife that he finds appalling.Likewise, should a school base a student’s compatibility with their institution on the manner in which the student presents themselves in society, they would likely receive a false impression and base acceptance or rejection on tendencies that do not accurately describe the individual.
Further, due to the potential loss of trust in the school’s respect for privacy, colleges should not base enrollment on social media activity. For example, a study done at Stanford University in 2001 determined that couples, when told that one partner had extensively researched the other before the start of the relationship, were 53% more likely to terminate said relationship with in the following 3 months than couples who were told nothing. This emphasizes an individual’s need to trust that purely the information they elect to share with a party about themselves is known. In this manner, there exists an atmosphere of trust between institution and applicant: Should it seek further information than the facts already shared with it about an applicant, the school will greatly lower its credibility.
While some may claim that Facebook gives an accurate account of the social tendencies of an individual, they neglect to recognize the role of friends and family in one’s online footprint. Indeed, the posting of a poor quality photo or other embarrassing media rather reflects the integrity of the party that published it, which may not necessarily be the same party the post features.
Facebook should not be examined by learning institutions when screening applicants due to such applicants’ tendencies to misrepresent themselves in society and potential lapse in trust caused by such unwarranted investigation.
Thank you, and I apologize for the long post!