This is a more important issue for a potential economics major.
rurci3 is a quiz that can help her determine which areas of algebra, trigonometry, and other precalculus math she may need to review to be fully ready for calculus. (Some of this may also be helpful for ACT or SAT math as a byproduct.)
But note that many colleges use their own financial aid calculations rather than the FAFSA EFC. The FAFSA EFC will be renamed SAI soon, and some aspects of the calculation will change, one of which is that it is no longer reduced for multiple kids in college. Also, state universities typically give poor or no need-based financial aid to out-of-state students, though some may offer merit scholarships to higher stats students to try to raise the school’s student academic profile.
You may want to go to each college’s web site and run its net price calculator to get an estimate from that college.
@compmom , thank you! I think she’s ok with friends, texting and enjoyed PROM this weekend. So hopefully that’s not the issue. I am interested in hearing from any experienced parents with these issues.
I am not sure how texting and prom are relevant to what I was suggesting. I don’t understand. Are you trying to say she is socially competent and so doesn’t need counseling or evaluation?
She was pretty good student till the end of 10th grade, did pretty well. Took 2 APs in 10th but she lost that motivation this year. Not sure it’s because of lack of confidence, lost motivation, kind of gave up or something else.
@CFP , she took ap calc AB in the 1st sem but unfortunately she couldn’t handle it that well and ended up with C. She noticed that some if her from dropped out of it in the 2nd semester and even she wanted to do the same. So she changed it regular calc 3 in the 2nd semester. I had to accept her decision as she was stressed out that time.
Your comments would seem to indicate a kid who is stressed and burned out. Maybe depressed. Doing test prep for a total of 3 hours a week already is too much. Let her do test optional, period.
Her lack of motivation for test prep makes perfect sense, to an outsider. What I was trying to say is that if she lacks motivation in other areas, or is suddenly struggling with the increased workload and difficulty of high school, that you keep in mind the possibility she might need a neuropsych. evaluation. Or a better counselor. Or a decrease in work and stress. It just sounds like something is not quite right.
I think you are focusing on symptoms rather than the cause. You sound like a great parent. You want the best for your daughter. Sometimes priorities contradict one another. Right now test prep seems to be affecting mental health. Good luck! these years are difficult for many of our kids!
@compmom , thanks for pointing out. How to get that evaluated? Should we start with the pediatrician? We already took her once and she suggested a counselor and now the not ready for the counselor. It’s hard take her even to the pediatrician now, I don’t know what reason I should give her. Can we directly approach the psychologist? Honestly I am not at all familiar with the concept of depression or maybe we never understood or given importance to it while we were growing up in India. I hear this more these days there too.
Do neuro psychologist treats if she has depression?
Should we wait till her AP exams are done at least or take her immediately. I read online that the test itself takes 3-6 hours. She will be done by May 9th. I think probably it takes time for me to get an appointment too. I will definitely talk to her pediatrician today.
Sorry my questions might sound dumb but I am really worried about her. Yesterday only my older daughter was expressing the same concern that she may be depressed who is majoring in psychology. But we’re not really sure how to convince to take her to the doctor and move forward with this and if her pediatrician is the starting point. I really want her to be happy.
I really appreciate your help with this. Do you think we should first stop her ACT preparation class immediately or ask her if she wants to take a break from it?
Currently it’s around 45K-50K but we can definitely afford more with the loan. I understand loan is a big burden, but we are planning to support both our kids for the undergraduate portion, and they take loans if required for Masters.
I would stop the ACT prep immediately and reassure your daughter that college admissions will work out.
It can be hard to tease out depression/anxiety from ADHD, executive function or other learning challenges. The pediatrician may be able to help with the ADHD (with a questionnaire) or a psychiatrist. There is not objective test for it.
A neuropsychological test does take time. Public schools can do an inital one, for free, or you can find a private one. Check reviews online. Those tests are mainly for “learning disabilities,” which sometimes go undiagnosed (like ADHD) until mid to late high school.
I talked with my kid about this testing and told them it would help ascertain learning style and which schools and careers might be best. I hope that helped !
For a counselor, you can use the Psychology Today therapist finder. It is an excellent resource with photos, blurbs about the practice and insurance info. You can also check reviews if available.
If she is depressed or anxious, the pediatrician can prescribe an SSRI if needed, or a psychiatrist or nurse psychopharmacologist.
I would also make sure to have the pediatrician check thyroid, for anemia and other physical causes of fatigue.
I don’t mean to overwhelm you! I have been there with one of mine and it takes awhile to figure it out and sometimes by the time you do things have improved. In my kid’s case both ADHD and a learning disability were diagnosed during high school, but they also had a depression that was treated with Lexapro. She has done fine so the future is still bright.
Primary care docs do a screening but personally I would not rely on that. Appointments are too brief and PCP’s, including pediatricians, are more like gatekeepers these days.
The pediatrician should definitely provide medical screening and referrals out.
Hi, I’ve once been in somewhat the same spot as your daughter has been I can totally understand how she must be feeling with test preparation and how challenging it must be for her to stay motivated on testing preparation and schoolwork while she struggles with something much more major than not having interest. I totally agree with @compmom about what you need to do. From a student’s perspective, she is probably still aware that she might want to improve her ACT score, but it’s not worth it to stress her so much further and possibly burn her out completely if her score is fine for the colleges she is looking at. I would wait to meet a psychiatrist until after AP exams are over and then discuss how she fares over the summer with studying. Does she have anything she is doing this summer? Something that she is motivated about and she would learn is great, maybe try letting her pick something she’s motivated about to create a project or learn a new subject. The feeling of accomplishment from that should make her feel much better : ) Try to let her focus on finishing the school year strong and having something, just anything structured to do this summer… without that, she might feel worse this summer because she might feel even more unmotivated.
There are steps one can take at home to reduce stress. I would not rush to assume only medical treatment is a solution.
Honest evaluation of sleep, nutrition, exercise, time in person with friends or helping others. At well check up ask about low iron or other metabolic / endocrine blood tests.
My advice. Stop talking about college and test prep and anything else related to college NOW. This all can wait. It’s not a race…it’s a journey.
If you are concerned about the mental health of your daughter, this moves to the top of the list. College will be there any time she is ready to make that move. It might not be now.
For summer…I’d start having her look for things she likes to do that are FUN for her…not test prep, and not college visits (unless she asks for that). Let her enjoy this summer between her junior and senior year.
And yes, do try to figure out the “why” of any concerns you have about her.
You can’t get accommodations for the ACT unless your student has been using them at school for some time. I think it’s something like a year.
I tutor kids for standardized tests. When I have a student who won’t do the work needed between our meetings, I explain that one’s score does not go up unless you practice. If that’s not something a student is willing to do, it’s time to look for tear options. A tutor can’t help a student’s score go up if the student isn’t engaged.
I agree with @thumper. You need to find out what’s going on with your daughter that she’s not motivated to study. DON’T PRESSURE HER. I can’t even describe how badly kids are doing these days. It’s a mental health crisis. NAMI Maine has a teen text line and it’s hard to get enough volunteers to respond to all the kids who are struggling.
To put it bluntly, I lost a 20-year-old nephew to suicide and I don’t want ANYONE else to go through the hell my family has.
And I will also say that when my 18-year-old son got a serious mental illness, we were slow to act at first because he’d always been “fine” in the past. This is the age mental illness can emerge and just because a kid has been healthy his/her whole life doesn’t mean a thing.
I hope I’m wrong and your daughter is just not in the mood to study, but why take a chance?
I totally understand the concern. I really appreciate this group for taking so much of time and analyzing the issue. I strongly feel I should have reacted much earlier, unfortunately this is something we could never really understand. We never had this much of stress during high school and also couldn’t understand what she might be going through because of an high performing older kid. I started realizing each kid is different and we have to work differently. Parenting is not an easy task.
In additional to all this, my D doesn’t in general express her emotions much and doesn’t share too many things like the older kid. So we couldn’t understand that if she is going through something else.
I’m sorry that your D is having a tough time right now, though it sounds as though it sounds as though there’s lots of love, caring, and concerned adults.
There are typically long wait times for a neuropsych evaluation. I would urge you to get some recommendations and get on some waiting lists. When we needed one done in our family this past year, it was about a 6-month wait.
If she is in a public school, their special ed dept. can do one, at least an initial one.
I was timid at first about alluding to mental health or learning challenges, since the original post was about resistance to test prep, which isn’t that unusual for a busy kid.
Some of your later comments led me to feel my first intuitive read between the lines was not off target. The thread has kind of taken off in that direction and you seem to be on board.
However, i also want to say that we don’t know her or you and I still hesitate to pathologize or even interpret her lack of motivation from afar. It is prudent to get testing and prudent to get a counselor but also keep in mind that teen angst is common and unfortunately becoming the norm. She may be fine in awhile but it always better to play it safe in terms of assessment and prevention,
And even in today’s hyper competitive world- there are still kids who just don’t see the point of tutoring to the point of exhaustion, or clawing their way into college A when college B would serve their needs just as well- and they can get into college B without a lot of angst!
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar… if she doesn’t want test prep, you gotta respect that, no?
@blossom exactly…I was initially tentatively picking up on hints… and we cannot tell enough to say if this is a cigar or something else…it’s up to the OP to judge
I can totally understand how she must be feeling with test preparation and how challenging it must be for her to stay motivated on testing preparation and schoolwork while she struggles with something much more major than not having interest. I totally agree with