@blossom , I agree and I do respect it but she never expressed that as I mentioned in my previous posts, she doesn’t open up much in general. She has been tutoring with him and continuing but doesn’t do his homework. So I stopped her bugging for the HW and even the tutor. He just giving classes and she is doing maybe a passage or math with the tutor once a week. I think those things only helped her secure 28. Actually she said she didn’t do well as it was first time she did an online ACT. Still didn’t try the paper version officially.
In addition to the mental health aspect, you’re probably wasting money on the tutor and the classes since your daughter doesnt seem that enthusiastic about the entire exercise other than appeasing you.
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If your kid continued to show up for violin lessons and the teacher told you she never practiced-- wouldn’t you take that as a sign that she’s done with the violin? She doesn’t need to tell you “I’m done with violin”- a kid who isn’t engaged is ready to stop. Tutoring isn’t some magic fairy dust. Without the drills and the homework, scores don’t go up, and kids get burnt out.
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Maybe but fortunately I only paid for certain number hours package but the tutor has been continuing even after that without any further amount. So she is just attending. He studied my D well and just going on with it. He also told her to take a break in between for a month. He just thought she has to mature but probably didn’t realize the stress part.
The reason we didn’t stop was she is getting to practice at least an hour per week. We just thought, it was just that she is unable to manage her time well. I know, she is bad at that too. She is in general slow in doing everything including shower and meals. That has major impact on her stress and homework time too.
it was just that, she is unable to manage her time well.
She is in general slow in doing everything including shower and meals. That has major impact on her stress and homework time too.
Well again, sounds like one of my kids, who was diagnosed with ADHD in high school. They cannot take meds due to another condition, but the diagnosis was helpful in my kid understanding themselves, and in my ability to support appropriately. Definitely a good time to get at the root of things, before senior year and college.
My kid also has executive function challenges and slow processing. Knowing about these challenges helped with college choices.
Are you talking about a neuropsych being done in the public schools? If so…that will depend. One needs to have a PhD on their staff who is trained to do these tests…and interpret them. Many school districts do not have psychologists with this expertise on their staff.
BUT many schools DO have relationships with neuropsychs and can get appointments more quickly than you can yourself. This would take a special education referral to your school district. The team (which includes you parents as well as the school staff) would meet, and discuss this referral…and what needs to be done next.
Our tiny less than mediocre public school did evals. But you are right, there may be schools that don’t. I don’t believe the special ed staff at our school who did the evals had PhD’s. Master’s yes.
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Some (public) schools are reluctant to do the evals, particularly if they cost money because they outsource them. You may need to be firm and also be able to cite instances where there may be academic effects (and organization, processing speed, and executive function all works for those). But the school’s eval is going to be focused on academic issues, and less so whether there is anxiety, depression, or other issues that may be occurring as well.
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Interesting thread. So to the OP. A 28 Act can move up to a 32-34. Not an issue but they need to want it. If the goal is X school she needs to know what she needs to do to get there.
I would have the tutor look at her subset scores and try to drill those. Some people work heavily on their strength to increase their scores but also find why their weakness is their weakness and just try to elevate that a bit.
But it’s a process and she needs to “want” it. She will need to do “many” practice tests. The 5lb Act has many great practice tests.
It really comes down to what college does she want to go to and how will she get there. The program you mentioned at Georgetown is a top program and very selective.
I don’t have an issue with using tutors etc and I think having a private one is the way to go when one can afford it but if this tutor is not connecting with her maybe there is another one that can?
If she’s not unmotivated in other area’s of school and just this she just needs to realize that she will be somewhat limited depending on which schools she wants to realistically apply to. Yes, she can go test optional, but to me it’s more about making ones self better prepared for college. She is attending which is good but working on area’s as suggested might not yield the results she will expect.
Saying all of this a 28 is a fine score. Some kids do better with tutoring over the summer. It can be a lot for some doing it during the school year.
Agree test prep during school year is hard, especially with AP exams coming soon.
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@Knowsstuff , I agree with you but I didn’t mention GT. I was talking about GWU (I know that’s competitive too).
Yep. Both programs are. I know someone I helped that got into both programs and why I know about them. Just can’t text.
Lol…
Whether or not she’s depressed, at the very least she sounds overwhelmed.
You say she’s interested in poli sci - is she interested in current events vis-a-vis politics?
Your description of how things are going for her makes me wonder whether a gap year might be right for her. She’s graduating in an election year; she could get some great experience as a full-time volunteer, from June to November, and then maybe paid employment the rest of the year… and perhaps she’d have more time and head-space to work with a therapist or coach if she’d be open to that. She could revisit the standardized test issue (or not) a bit later. She might do a lot better in college if she had some time to regroup.
You mentioned IR and possibly business in your other thread. What foreign language has she studied, and are there particular parts of the world that she’s interested in? URI has a five-year dual-degree program where you get a degree in a foreign language and a degree in business, and do an overseas internship - maybe that would appeal. https://web.uri.edu/business/academics/undergraduate/international-business-program/
Brandeis has an internationally-focused business program, as well as good poli sci, etc., and tons of international students (20% of undergrads).
UDelaware could be a good one to look at.
Would she consider a women’s college? Agnes Scott in Atlanta is very diverse and has cross-registration with Emory and GT. They’re generous with merit, too. Mount Holyoke and Smith are in the 5-college consortium with UMass, which you’re already interested in. Holyoke especially has a large international population (over 25% at MoHo; Smith is about 13% international).
She’ll have lots of options, but if she’s already burned out, the worry is starting college with few emotional reserves. I’d be more concerned about this than about test scores - getting into college is only the beginning. IMHO, drop the whole test prep thing for now (if not permanently) and focus on mental health and wellness.
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@aquapt , She did 2 years of Spanish and then ASL for 3 years.
We’re trying our best to focus on her and I am not sure what mistakes we did unknowingly. We raised both the kids the same way but looks like the younger one took it differently.
Currently, I am not even sure what is that she is really interested as I am unable to continue that discussion further. All I want is my kid to understand the parents love and struggle to bring up the kids. I am going into depression than her. I pray God that everything works out at the end.
Can I know why the education system is making things so competitive? Is this a business? Why do kids have to be a Mother Theresa/Malala to study what they want to? Starting from high school, why one has to choose the subjects, why can’t they have a common curriculum that every kid should do and learn the basic concepts required for higher education. I strongly feel the curriculum is what is making things competitive and mental stress.
It’s very competitive for SOME schools - schools that are probably over-represented on these boards. There are plenty of great schools where your child is a terrific candidate.
I would be leary of pushing her in the wrong direction. I would also consider if she does not want to bust it now to get into a hyper-competitive school, even if you got her to get the test scores and admissions, will she thrive at that school?
Go look at the boards where people discuss their child choosing their “safety” school. There is more to college and life success than going to a competitive college.
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We have 2 kids 180 degree different. My daughter changed majors and life directions 3 times and now is on a path she loves. My son was driven and focused on a specific goal. One right brain and one left brain. We all make mistakes with parenting. Yes, college is a business.
Look through this link. Schools here are great and welcoming and most reduced stress. They focus on the students and what they need to be successful. Many are highly regarded schools.
https://ctcl.org/
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In thinking about colleges, if your daughter is interested in international relations, she may want to look into Seton Hall’s BS in Diplomacy and International Relations. She’d get advanced fluency, have a related internship, it offers classes at the UN, she can do a semester in D.C., etc. If her interests get less of an international focus, there is also the general degree in political science. Seton Hall is a school where your daughter’s 28 ACT would place her in the mid-range (26-32) and that accepts the majority of its applicants.
There are many colleges out there that offer a good education, experiences, etc, without intense academic pressure (to get in or to remain). The board would be happy to help come up with suggestions. But it sounds as though there might be deeper issues beyond where your daughter will apply to college. I think seeking professional help can give good insight on next steps.
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@Knowsstuff and @AustenNut , Thank you all for your suggestions! I will definitely check with the doctor.
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You’ve gotten some great suggestions here.
I know time is ticking on the college application process. However. Ensuring that your child is healthy and happy is priority number 1 here, and it sounds like you have a good plan to check in with the doc. It sounds like she might need a break from all her school stuff. Like 3 months’ worth?
I’d pull back on the school pressure as much as possible. The ACT doesn’t really matter. She might not be that interested in the college search, which could be a challenge. It can be hard not to push. I agree that finding some good safeties that she is excited about would be the best place to start. There’s lots of suggestions on this board about how to do that. Affordable publics are nice since they’d allow her to pursue many different interests. Once you have a few true safeties identified, the rest are optional gravy.
Senioritis is real, and she might find herself afflicted next year. Maybe focusing her summer on spending time with friends and working a fun job where she’ll see people in her community would be healthy for her. Drop the activities she doesn’t enjoy, and limit school talk as much as practical? Best of luck. I hope you see more smiles from her soon.
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