<p>My son is telling me that he wants to skip the "dog and pony show" (not his words, but he used some terminology that made me think of that) that is Admitted Students Day, and just visit a friend at each college he is considering. Does anyone have thoughts on this?</p>
<p>Unless you feel a need to participate in the parent activities, this might indeed fit your S’s needs the best. He might ask the admissions office if he can sit in on a class in his planned major, or talk to a prof, if he has not already done that.</p>
<p>In our case, the timing of the admitted student events are going to make all the difference. S2 has so many debate tournaments to go to that he will have a hard time scheduling in the visits. </p>
<p>But I think it’s important to visit any school that they are seriously considering, if at all possible. (That said, I went to Harvey Mudd College from New England, sight unseen - and was very happy!)</p>
<p>Visiting friends is better, IMHO. You get more of the feel of the place.</p>
<p>I agree. If he can stay with a friend he will get a much better feel for the college.</p>
<p>If he has a friend he can visit, that would be fine. BUT remember, visiting a friend will not give a broad perspective either. It’s a FRIEND. Still…yes…your kid will get a good flavor for the school. See if he can sit in on some classes too.</p>
<p>My daughter runs the “dog and pony” show at her college and she says it’s a very good way to see a LOT of different aspects of the college in one or two days…it is well scheduled and students get to choose what they want to do. Their school doesn’t do the same thing for every accepted student…there is a menu of activities. When my kid went to the accepted student days (hers was an overnight) there were NOT any parent activities. I visited a friend.</p>
<p>You can always do both. :)</p>
<p>I found admitted students days varied in quality, but generally they had students from different majors answer questions, often various departments had open houses. Sometimes there were dorm tours that don’t normally take place. At Carnegie Mellon each school ran presentations and sometimes tours of their own spaces.</p>
<p>If possible, do both; stay with a friend before, during or after Accepted Students Day. I can see why a student doesn’t want to have the “hard sell” in his face, but Accepted Students Day is not a phony show. </p>
<p>The administration, faculty and some student leaders will have organized and packed a lot of information into a small amount of time to show a wide range of opportunities re: majors, EC’s, social life. Their presentations might represent a wider range than any one friend can describe. </p>
<p>If he wants, he can always do a reality check on official presentations by asking his friend, and the friend’s friends. Another advantage of Accepted Students Day is getting one’s own feel for the cohort of students that school chose to accept. If there’s a fit there among complete strangers, it tells the student something important, as those would be classmates very soon. Does he admire them and feel as though he belongs? </p>
<p>It’s worth acknowledging with appreciation that he’s lucky to have a friend in each place! That’s amazing. This way, he can take advantage of both opportunities. </p>
<p>I’d make the case, but if he disagrees strongly, it’s not worth a fight. Either way, he’ll learn about the school. </p>
<p>When my H used to present such things at this juncture, he’d make his case, and not press for an answer. He’d leave the kids with this phrase: “Well, just think about it…” and walk away! Hugely effective and dignified the kids. It didn’t mean they always agreed with him, but he got across the idea that they were calling their own shots now. And they DID think about it.</p>
<p>Admitted students day can be a cattle call. It’s a good idea if they can have a quiet visit with a friend to do so. Still, the should TRY to go to the student day with you. For one thing, there will be good events/panels for parents. For another thing, if he visits with his friend before the admitted student day, he will already have a feel for the campus and what he wants to see in depth and what he doesn’t. Then he can just go to the panels and events that he really wants, skip the rest, and not feel like he missed anything.</p>
<p>I’ll add my 2 cents. For D it was important to go to the official ASD for her top 2 schools so she could ask the same questions about how each school helped/supported students thinking of going down the pre-med path. Turns out there were vastly different answers to those questions, which helped her make up her mind.</p>
<p>I like the approach of trying to do both. If a kid is very engaged in the process and will ask questions and gather info about his intended department and ec interests, then a visit with a friend will be great. But if a kid will not dig on their own, then the ASD really is the best way for them to have lots more info placed before them, not just the social aspects and what interests their friend. Social life is important, but a lot more should go into the decision of which college to attend. I think you get a much broader overview and insight into the school’s offerings at ASD, and the parents get a chance to have many of their questions and concerns addressed. My kids really felt it was beneficial to engage with their potential classmates at ASDs.</p>
<p>Visiting on a different day than the “dog and pony show” can be really helpful, especially if your son arranges to visit classes beforehand. Our daughter found visiting classes to be the most helpful in deciding (also visiting the bookstore). She also went to concerts at the schools (she is a music major, but there might be equivalents for other majors).</p>
<p>Going to the admitted students day can be fun for some, deadly for others. Eating at the dining hall and sleeping in the dorms does give a certain feel for a place. But one of my kids hated the weekend at his ultimate school and chose it in spite of the accepted students event, and my other kid went to her ultimate school for an hour then left! Kind of a mob scene, the host students had papers due, and going to sample classes with a crowd was not very helpful. But she did eat lunch in the dining hall :)</p>
<p>Agree that doing both is what I would recommend but I have girls. I can see my younger DS NOT being into accepted students days.</p>
<p>If It’s going to be a source of contention for you two don’t insist but he will get a better overall feel of the total experience if he can move beyond the experience of his friends.</p>
<p>My D has spent time at both colleges she is considering, visiting a class, meeting a professor, overnight stay,etc. She also wants to attend the Accepted Student Day to get a feel for the type of students that may be her future classmates. Meeting some of your potential future classmates can add some value.</p>