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<p>There’s a huge power imbalance between an adult alum and a 17 yo hs kid. Frankly, I’d think very little of an interviewer who saw his / her job to be about intimidating or grilling the kid. Perhaps the interviewers have forgotten that part of their job is to establish / create connections and also “sell” the school to the student. My D loved, absolutely loved her interviewer at the school she got into. That’s as it should be.</p>
<p>I don’t think the interviewer here acted appropriately. I’ve already said I think she should be reported. </p>
<p>I just don’t think that asking a kid who says he wants to major in bio-medical engineering why he does is an intimidating question. If I got an answer like “I’ve always been interested in math and science, " I’d probably follow it up with a question like “But why bio-medical engineering in particular? Why not physics?” I wouldn’t say it in a confrontational tone. I’d say it in a “I’m just curious” tone. And if the only answer I get back is " Bio-medical engineering just sounds more interesting than physics,” my write up is not going to be a rave. </p>
<p>Nor do I think it was inappropriate for an interviewer to express an opinion that deciding on a college without visiting is a mistake. I don’t understand why anyone would even THINK of asking for another interviewer just because the interviewer expressed his disagreement vehemently. </p>
<p>I also think that parents should realize that you S or D may not give you a completely accurate accounting of what happened at an interview. I don’t mean they are lying. I just mean that when two people talk, especially when they are strangers, each of them will recall the conversation somewhat differently. Ask both of them an hour after the conversation is over what each said and you make get very, very different versions. Neither person is lying. </p>
<p>For example, I NEVER ask what other colleges the student has applied to. Yet, I’d estimate that one-quarter of the students tell me. This is an actual exchange:</p>
<p>“What are you looking for in a college?” “MIT. I got deferred. I really, really want to go to MIT. I got into CalTech, but I love MIT so much! I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get in!”</p>
<p>Hint: I am not an interviewer for MIT or CalTech. </p>
<p>Now I suspect that the young woman would swear on a stack of bibles that I asked her her first choice college. I didn’t. </p>
<p>So, just remember that I’s possible that there was some miscommunication here and the interviewer didn’t start the interview intending to be confrontational.</p>
<p>The “are you calling me a liar?” was a bit immature, but I don’t know why your son didn’t defend his position. He could have said “No, of course not, I’m sorry, I thought maybe I mumbled or you misheard me, because I certainly didn’t mean to suggest that why I liked BM engineering has anything to do with gender!” or whatever. I don’t know. It’s a real conversation, I don’t know why it’s an issue.</p>
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<p>As a person of faith and someone who has been interviewed by Ivy league schools, I think this is a perfectly legitimate question. I actually wish I had been asked this; it’s a softball.</p>
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<p>The interviewer’s responsibility is to the school first and to the student second. It’s the interviewer’s prerogative whether or not he wants to be a mentor to a student. But it’s his responsibility to judge if the applicant is a solid candidate or not, and intrusive questions (about academia and ECs and the like) are one way to do that.</p>
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<p>If the conversation leads in that direction, as the OP said, it’s legitimate grounds for a question. The student has the right to say “my faith is my business” at his own risk, I suppose.</p>
<p>This is a thought in general–not about the OP!!</p>
<p>But with nervous inexperienced applicants, loosely trained non-employee interviewers, the vagaries of the mis-communication-- he said-she said sort and the perception in the minds of most students/families that this interview can make or break them–I am sadly predicting a day when concerned parents take colleges to court after one of these “bad interviews” precedes denial in a dream school. After all, how can the student really know what dinged her/him?</p>
<p>Soon as that starts happening, the alumni interview will be viewed as a liability and become a thing of the past.</p>
<p>Although, as such a lawsuit might unfold, it would be fascinating to see a University open up their admissions decisions to scrutiny or perhaps hear them deny the alumni interview had any weight at all?</p>
<p>Ah, dystopia.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this has been posted already, but “I was always” sounds a little bit like “Guys always” if you slur the words. Being in a noisy/crowded place probably wouldn’t help either. Just saying.</p>
<p>Alumni interviewers can be a real curse. Every college, including top Ivies, has alums who are off the charts in terms of weirdness, cluelessness etc. Unfortunately, a lot of them enthusiastically volunteer to be interviewers–it seems that maintaining ties to their one, great claim to fame–old Ivy–is a top priority for those whose life trajectory is going nowhere fast. Speak up! Being victimized by these failed Ivy fools and the colleges who nurture and protect them(thereby raking in every possible contribution) is really not necessary or worth it. The college might respect you for finding your voice and using it. If not, there are other great colleges. Is getting into an Ivy, or any college, really worth snivelling and crawling to their door? And even if you choose that road, it isn’t all that likely to get you in.</p>
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I think this illustrates 2 points. First, if your son reports the inappropriate behavior he may not be the first one to do so; and if he is the first, he’s making it known and someone else who runs into the same thing will be believed. Second, the person above waited until after decisions were out to complain. At that point adcoms are used to having applicants complaining they were treated unfairly by the process and so complaints are likely discounted a bit; note how the time of the complaint was clearly remembered by the admission office. If your son speaks up now when he has no idea what the decision will be then I think it would be taken more seriously; almost certainly he’ll be offered another interviewer.</p>
<p>And while I appreciate your privileged position as an alum, I think this is your son’s torch to carry. He’s at the point where he should be speaking up for himself; certainly he’s going to be expected to do so on campus this fall wherever he goes. Your son needs to contact them; I think a letter recounting the conversation would be a good approach rather than a phone call since he will have time to think over what he says.</p>
<p>First, I’d like to thank everyone for the thoughtful advice and opinions expressed in response to my question. Second, allow me to apologize for the delay in responding as we live on the East Coast and lost power for a day due to the snowstorm.</p>
<p>There was some lively discussion about the inadequacy of son’s response to the question of why he is interested in Bio-Med engineering. Unfortunately, S did not have the opportunity to go beyond the first sentence to complete his answer before being challenged about his honesty. I understand that the interviewer may be particularly sensitive to sexist remarks, as she was in the first class of females admitted to this university. She also expressed pride in establishing her own law practice. All well. But I can attest S would not make such a sexist remark about women and science----mom is a medical researcher and older sister graduated with a Environmental Science and Policy degree. It seems to me when a 17 year-old attempts to clarify what he said (regardless of what she heard), he might be given the benefit of doubt.</p>
<p>I do agree that if my son were able to complete his response to the question, an interviewer is looking for something more than just -I like math and science. In fact, S has thoughtfully considered his career path while spending summers working in medical research labs and shadowing physicians. But who can say a 17 year-old can be certain of his career path? Our two older children both graduated with degrees totally different from what they originally planned. And that is fine.</p>
<p>I have heard that alumni interviews don’t carry much weight. That is somewhat reassuring. But who would want even a tiny black mark on an application package to a competitive school?</p>
<p>Based on the good advice offered by many of you, S plans to call the university asap to state that he had an unusual interview experience. We will ask the GC to follow up with a call. I’m advising S to just state the facts as accurately as possible (i.e. what was actually said) and not in a complaining manner. We do hope our account will lead the school to at least talk with this interviewer and perhaps, consider removing her from the list of interviewers. From the collective experience of our 3 children, none of them have been subjected to disrespect and humiliation in a college interview. We also feel it does not represent the university the way it would want to be represented. As an aside, oldest S was challenged in a job interview, when an interviewer jeered “Northwestern University? Is that even a decent school?” I think they just wanted to see how S would respond under pressure. Anyway, he got the job.</p>
<p>I appreciate one poster’s perspective that this is a teaching moment for S —that in life we encounter different people and tough situations. I hope this encounter and experience has taught S the importance of treating individuals with respect and of speaking up to pay it forward.</p>
<p>rphmom, I think you’re taking exactly the right course of action. Thank you for posting and I hope you’ll feel comfortable coming back to tell us ‘what happened next.’ Best to your S!</p>
<p>RPHMOM I think you have a level head about this, and sounds like your son does too. When personal interactions go haywire, you don’t always know the reasons why.</p>
<p>When my daughter was interviewed, she got lucky perhaps. She had an interviewer who was a professor at a very fine local college. That interviewer spent 2 hours with her, and was very enthusiastic. That interviewer even mentioned very positive stuff my daughter wasn’t pointing out enough for herself, about demonstrated team player and all, being a leader in her activities.</p>
<p>Now my daughter interviews for her school. She tells me that if she is asked to interview someone she assumes they are academically qualified–she is not evaluating that. You have to realize that these interviewers talk to many who just won’t or don’t get in frequently. Maybe they get jaded, my daughter says it takes a lot of her time. I don’t think anyone she ever interviewed got in, not her fault. First, it is a numbers game. Then it is about how special you are.</p>
<p>fyi she is a 2nd year grad student.</p>
<p>fwiw, she didn’t have a decided major going into college.</p>
<p>These interviews have zero impact on anything, unfortunately. What should be a useful and informative activity has become largely an obsolete exercise ignored by admissions. I can recall nearly begging a local CMU interviewer via phone messages and emails for an interview, all without the courtesy of any response. But it wouldn’t have mattered. The wonderful interviews and attendance at information sessions, etc. to ‘show your interest’ don’t seem to matter either. It will have infinitesimal weight.</p>
<p>The importance of the interview varies from school to school. For example the acceptance rate at MIT is coubled if you interview. At other schools they are upfront that it’s purely informational and doesn’t count at all. Most schools it doesn’t make a big difference, but it can still be the deciding factor for a student who is on the cusp one way or another. </p>
<p>My son didn’t get into the school where he felt he had the best interview and is attending the school where he had the worst one. (Not bad, he just didn’t feel they connected.) I think the actual process of being interviewed was good for my sons and will serve them in good stead in the future.</p>
<p>I also think that sometimes what a student perceives as a bad interview may not be perceived that why by the interviewer at all.</p>
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<p>There are schools that will try to grant an alumni interview to any applicant that wants one.</p>
<p>On the “Guys” vs “I’ve” thing – I wonder abt that interviewer’s hearing. My DH is about to get his first pair of hearing aids and this is the kind of mistake he makes all the time. And for quite a while he was telling us we were mumbling, while he was mishearing things.</p>
<p>Finally a visit to the ear specialist and a sheet of test result charts made him believe us.</p>
<p>On contacting the school, I would do it. These interviewers all have a regional chair above them, who should be notified of the inappropriateness of the religious content you mention & Freudian slip remark. Interviewers are not supposed to put kids on the spot like that (I used to do them for an Ivy, too).</p>
<p>Since you are an alum, maybe contacting the alumni office yourself, Mom, would be the best way to start. You are correct— not only is your own son affected but this person is not repping the school in the best light.</p>
<p>I believe that your son’s GC should contact the school and have a discussion about the unusual aspects of this interview. The GC can offer an objective view of your son as a level headed young man who is not complaining - something you and your son cannot do. The call should be made immediately! Do not wait for decisions or committee discussion to begin.</p>
<p>I have known of two cases where interviews were unorthodox - one case very similar to your sons, lot’s of religious questions and comments for no good reason; the other instance where the interviewer spent the entire interview talking to a fabulous student (future Marshall scholar) about another kid at his school who’d been interviewed the day before. In both cases the kids did not want to “complain” - neither was admitted to the school with the kooky interview - although both got in to similarly prestigious programs so others saw them as desireable students. I don’t take that as a sign that interviews make or break an admissions decision but keeping quiet won’t help you and neither will speaking up after a negative decision.</p>
<p>I agree with the majority here.</p>
<p>Overall, the interview was inappropriate. Assertive and probing =/= aggressive, defensive, or combative.</p>
<p>“Are you calling me a liar?” is over-the-top in practically any situation, but especially in an interview with a student for a university.</p>
<p>Yes, the interviewer might have misunderstood, and I suppose your son does not yet have the experience to have stock answers lined up for this kind of situation that would assuage the insecurities of a bully. That is no reason for him or her to go into combative mode. There are polite, assertive ways to get to the truth of the matter.</p>
<p>I would call their office and be very specific about things that you feel were inappropriate. “Are you calling me a liar?” “Do you think God would be pleased…?”</p>
<p>If he can remember any more passive-aggressive or religion-oriented questions, he should try to go verbatim and report through the guidance counselor.</p>
<p>I truly can’t imagine asking questions like that in almost any context and I can’t imagine how people graduate from these universities with no ability to hold a civilized discussion. Even if she assumes your son is a sexist bigot (which I have to wonder… she sounds awfully combative, what pet issues does she have going on there?!?), she must realize that it is her duty as a fellow human to treat a young person with respect and bring out the best in him.</p>
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<p>My kid had an Ivy alumni interviewer come to our home. First thing the interviewer commented on was a framed pic of Prez Obama. The interviewer’s awkward, unsolicited, stuttering comment: “Oh, you know, I have some liberals in my family.” Talk about taking a leap and making assumptions! The whole interview after that made my kid uncomfortable and created a negative impression of that particular Ivy.</p>
<p>I do alumni interviews for my college. I usually make it clear that, even if I wanted to make a difference in their chances for admission, I can’t. I explain that I’m there to find out if there is information I can add to their application that might not have fit into the narrow confines of the application process, or that perhaps they might have overlooked that I can draw out of them and then share with the admissions committee. I also tell them I am there to answer questions about the school, and I also “warn” them that I love the school so they should expect my answers will be biased. I have learned, over time, that this approach tends to relax the interviewee and I get more insight and information from them that I can share with the admissions committee. Very often I learn information from the student that they didn’t think was worthy of mentioning but I think is a really interesting and helpful twist on their application. As to whether my input matters, who knows - it has been said on this forum before that an alumni interview can possibly hurt a lot more than it can help. At the same time I know the director of admissions and on occasion, in addition to the standard on-line form we fill out I have sent him a private email after interviewing an exceptionally strong candidate. A few of “my” candidates have been admitted, but they were quite qualified and my assessment didn’t make that so.</p>
<p>As to inappropriate questioning, I always ask some difficult questions - but always with an “I’m just curious” tone rather than obnoxious or challenging. It’s really about getting a dialog going. I don’t want my college filled with robotic, rehearsed students. Nor do I want it overrun with dullards who can’t keep up. If I stump an interviewee I typically change the subject to try another tack. By doing so on varying topics you get a sense of whether the candidate is going to rise to the challenge of his or her fellow students in the give-and-take that I know happens daily at my alma mater. If not, it won’t be a good fit for either the candidate or the school. </p>
<p>So that’s my rambling insight.</p>