Advice for the Supplement Essays?

<p>Hey all, I recently wrote my supplement essay for Oberlin and I've been very fickle about it. I've revised it several times, but for some reason I can't help but to think it just doesn't have that extra "umpf" or those details that a lot of colleges look for.</p>

<p>Would anyone be so kind as to give me feedback? A lot of people have told me never to rewrite your extra curricular activities into your essay (since they're already on a resume), but others have said it's alright as long as you connect it to the school. Should I use personal stories to make the essay more supplemental?</p>