<p>Hi, I recently found this form and it looks like I could get some useful advice. I'm currently attending a school in southern california (orange county) and can't stand it. I've been here now about six weeks and have felt depressed every day and can't stop thinking about leaving. I have a group of friends that I hang out with and that I can call, my classes are good, but very difficult, but I can't seem to stand the school. I'm from NorCal and people down here are so different. You're either a barbie or a jock who wheres nothing but lacoste or burbery. I've just come to think that if I could go back, I would have taken a year off to work and travel. I just find that I can't connect with people at all, and overall just regeret coming to college right after high school. I feel burned out in a sense and have no idea what I want to do with my life, which leaves me with little motivation to succeed here. I just feel that I"d be much happier back at home working, and than hopefully travelling a couple months later. I'd return to school next fall, but all I can think about is getting out of here and just relaxing and doing something other that school. </p>
<p>I'm considering withdrawing but want people's opinions on taking a year off and just withdrawing in general. I just feel so unmotivated and literally can't stop thinking about getting out of here. I'm involved on campus with theatre and other things, but the idea of leaving won't get out of my head and sounds like such a viable option. I just question whether I was ready for this big step. Any advice would help!!</p>
<p>First semester is always tough. Our son from Virginia went through the same thing at USC a couple of years ago when he was a freshman. He hit the wall in November so we flew him home for the weekend, and told him that he could leave, BUT he had to stick it out for a year. By Janauary there were no problems. Give yourself a full semester and part of the next one before you make a decision.</p>
<p>I understand what you're saying but now if I could go back I wish that I had in fact taken the year off. I've decided that I do need time off and that it's not just the school and getting used to the school. Just being here has shown to me that I needed time off and feel so burned out. In my view, I see no point in staying if I feel that college was not the right decisoin to go straight to after high school. We can't get the $$ back but if I'm truly unahppy in another month or so, than what's the reason to stay?</p>
<p>My advice - which is no better than your own gut, but fwiw.</p>
<p>Feeling like you are, I think I would plan to finish out the semester. After all, it's paid for! Plan to take the next semester off. With that in mind, buckle down and get the most out of what time you have left at the school. Having made that decision, you probably will have an easier time studying and focusing for the rest of the semester.
Personally, I think time off, especially for boys for some reason, can be very valuable, especially if they find themselves unmotivated and unfocused. My husband (30 years ago) quit school in his junior year to work and to decide "what he wanted to be when he grew up.' He worked in manufacturing for a couple of years, grew up a lot, and went back to school, finishing two years in one year's time. He earned a full fellowship to Princeton for grad school. It came a couple of years later than those he went to hight school with, but it worked for him, and might not have had he just stuck out his undergraduate years. In his case, getting away made him appreciate his education more than he could have imagined.
You have to follow your heart. These are the years you can safely deviate from the expected patheven make some mistakes, as you have enough time to experiment and make course corrections.
Good luck to you.</p>
<p>Freshman adjustment CAN be tough. I was lonely and unhappy for several weeks (months?) as a freshman, as I couldn't seem to make any friends and missed my home and family. (even though I loved the campus itself and my classes) Finally, after my roommate kicked me out and I got a new roommate, things started looking up. My new roommate and I got along great, and I started to feel like I belonged there. Now looking back, I am SO glad I hung in there, as I had a great four years.</p>
<p>On any college campus, people come in many different types. Perhaps you need to join a club or something that interests you and where you will be more likely to meet people with similar interests. Give the school a little time before giving up on it.</p>
<p>That said, sometimes a certain school is NOT right for a particular student, and perhaps you DO need to do something else for awhile. Have you discussed your feeling with your parents? They know you much better than we do and would be much more likely to give advice that would be appropriate for you as a person. If you feel you can't discuss it with them, how about a counselor on campus? If you are feeling depressed daily, it would be advisable to talk to somebody. But also try to keep an open mind, in case this is just a case of freshman adjustment.</p>
<p>I thank everybody for their input which has been very valuable. I agree that if i did decide and knew that I would be out of here second semester I'd feel a lot better. This is what my dad has suggested to me, but he has said that he will be supportive of whatever decision I make regardless if he likes it or not. I just really don't know what to do. I know five weeks is very early in most people's mind to make this big of a decision, but I reall feel that I have gotten a feel for the school and just college in these past five weeks. It's a small school with only 4,000 undergrad, I see the same people every day, which I hate, and most people honestly seem to have their own groups already, as do I, but something about being here, in college, doesn't sit right with me. I'm uneasy all day, can't sleep at night, not depressed to the point where I cry all the time, but just generally not feeling remotely happy. Going home and going back to my previous job (manager said I could start work again on vacations and if I did come back), saving up some $$, and traveling for awhile. Whose to say that I should take the path everybody else does? I just don't see much reason to stay.</p>
<p>I wish I had taken the first year after high school off. Total burn out is right! A couple of months off can do wonders, and you will probably be more motivated. </p>
<p>You should at least finish out the semester. Maybe a school closer to home would be better. California does have an excellent JC system that offers courses online at rock bottom prices. That could give you the flexibility to work while taking the general requirements.</p>
<p>Thanks again, except my problem is that for some reason I can't envision finishing the semester in my head. I'm not motivated to do well at all (studied hard, but failed first science test, got a D on first english paper). I know i'd be so much happier back at home working and planning a trip in a month or two. It's not that I'm homesick or miss my dad (parents divorced, and I went to boarding school on the east coast for FIVE years, grade 5-9). I'm used to being away, I just really don't like it here THe time passes so slow, even when I'm busy all day with friends all I can think about is packing up in about a month or so and getting out of here. Maybe I'm just not able to truly explain it, but I know i'd be SO much happier if I were out of here. Living so sad like this is not enjoyable, especially when I know that this wasn't the right choice.</p>
<p>This probably isn't going to be very helpful, but when I read this thread over for the first time I felt really compelled to respond.</p>
<p>I've been at my school for about 5 weeks. I've mostly disliked my experiences here. I thought I was getting into something different, something where I could find "people like me" but I'm surrounded by the "clone army" (basically, I'm surrounded by Barbie and Ken and I'm lucky if I could even be Skipper or Stacey) I lived on campus for 2 days, and moved home. Thankfully (I am soooo thankful for this) my mother moved to Florida with me. I'm from a small town 2 hrs away from Burlington, VT in NY, so I most definately understand why you think the people are different (I hate them where I am too, and there's 5,000 total in my school) I used to love learning, now, being where I am, I say that I really just can't stand it. I don't really have friends here, just a few aquantinces I talk to in classes. </p>
<p>I've thought a lot about transferring/taking some time off but I know that's not a right choice for me. Maybe if you wanted to go home, you could take one or two classes at a local community college? Go part time, and work the rest? That way you're not overloading yourself with classes but you're not necessarily dropping college all together? Or do what larry100 says, and take some online courses? I fully believe that when people are put in situations where they just <em>know</em> things are not right for them, then they aren't right for them. If you feel this is the best thing for you to do right now, then I think you should do it. Happiness comes first. That's what I always say.</p>
<p>Sorry if that wasn't really all that helpful :-/</p>