I’m a high school senior with my options all laid out and I’m having a really tough time deciding. Here’s what I have:
A scholarship waiting for me if I stay in state (Colorado) which is a full ride at the school of my choice. Staying in state has never been a dream of mine, but I'm very grateful and lucky to have this opportunity. I'm shocked I was chosen.
I've been admitted to Duke class of 2020, my dream school. I've worked hard for 4 years with this place in mind. My family would be expected to pay ~$20,000/year which would KILL them (I have a twin brother who barely got in to a state school which will cost them about the same per year). We're talking my parents refinance the house, have yard sales every month, and start eating top ramen for every meal. They claim they're willing to do it. Also, I'd be accumulating about $8,000 worth in loans per year.
Quick notes:
Duke has amazing programs matching my interests (Public Policy, International Comparative Relations, etc.), meanwhile, the University of Denver (where I would go if I stay in state) has good, not great programs. Duke has several non academic aspects that have made it my dream school since freshman year. It would be tough to get over not going because I got in, just couldn’t afford it. However, I feel terrible to ask so much from my parents.
What should I do?
I’m blessed that these options are even available, and I am in no way complaining about my choices.
It’s hard to turn down Duke. You may regret that decision for a long, long time. Also hard to carry the burden of sending your parents into financial hardship. Can you go back to Duke and ask them to up their offer? Are they aware you have a twin starting college?
Duke is an amazing school. Congratulations on your acceptance - it’s not easy to get in to. However, if your family will experience great hardship, Duke is not the best choice. Go to the school you can afford, work your tail off, take advantage of every opportunity, and enjoy a future that doesn’t include paying off significant amounts of debt. Dream schools sound wonderful, but often aren’t worth the burden of repayment once you’re done.
I would first try to appeal your package at Duke. Be sure they know you have a brother who will also be starting college next year.
If that doesn’t work, I just don’t think any school is worth having a family go through hardship and amassing a ton of debt as an undergraduate, especially when you have a good alternative.
It can’t hurt to go back to Duke and ask if they are willing to up their package. Assuming they say no…I would say it would be best to head to Denver for your undergrad and then concentrate on Duke and similar for grad school. You are definitely stuck in a difficult situation. I hope if works out to your advantage in the end.
Thanks for the replies and help, I’ll call the office of financial aid tomorrow and see if there’s anyway it could be any more realistic. I think if I can’t get them to budge, I’ll have to turn them down.
Is there a way for you to get a decent paying part time job now and a better paying full time job this summer? What if you worked part time at college and full time in the summers? Would that bring your parent’s cost down to around 12k a year? High paying summer work in summer might be something like a babysitting service, house cleaning, yard work. In my area a teen baby sitter can get almost 20 bucks an hour
If you did turn down Duke in favor of the great deal at home, you could always take solace in the following:
By taking one for the team, you are keeping your parents debt-free as far as your education is concerned.
Undergrad may not be the end of your academic sojourn. Get the degree at the U of Denver with a solid GPA and, who knows... if you are so inclined to head to grad school (I'd recommend doing that after working and saving for a few years, but timing is different for different people...), you could always send an app to Duke, provided you performed well on the appropriate grad entrance exam.
You will be graduating without debt. That is a pretty awesome feat these days. It really does help when you are trying to make your way in the post-grad working world.
That said, I echo others: first, contact Duke again to see if they can do more in terms of aid. If the finances still do not work out, you can at least know that you gave it your best effort.
Have you considered ROTC at Duke if they cannot increase your FA offer?
Obviously you would have to serve in the army, NG or army reserves after graduation, but I just wanted to bring it up – spitballing, in an effort to provide all possible remedies.
Getting an ROTC scholarship is far from automatic. Also, ROTC is only appropriate for someone who wants to be a military officer (and probably would have thought about it already and applied for the scholarships and/or service academies).
Hi guys, I’m also facing a similar situation between an in state school and better out of state school. I’m planning to major in computer science. I was accepted to Georgia Tech without a scholarship and also The University of Kansas with a $68,000 scholarship (I am in state so basically, free education for 4 years). I would love to attend Georgia Tech due to their high ranking CS program and the chance to live in Atlanta. My parents are able to pay the out of state tuition, but I am just wondering if it’s worth it. I know this should not be relevant, but I also have a boyfriend of 2 years here who I really care for and that has impacted a lot of my hesitance as well, as much as I wish it didn’t. Anyways, any sort of advice/information you guys have would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Denverdapper,
your parents can’t afford to send you to Duke and you know it. So accept reality and exalt, rejoice in fact, that you HAVE won a golden ticket that will grant you a free college education and save your parents grief!
Many thousands of students would kill to be in your place.
My DS made much the same choice 10 yrs ago- he was accepted at 12 colleges, including 2 Ivys, Chicago, Wash U, etc, etc and he also received a full tuition scholarship from a university in Calif that was his “safety”.
He chose the safety and its a good thing he did- in 2009 the recession hit and we would have had to pull him from his “dream” school if he had chosen to go there because we suddenly would not have been able to pay the tuition bills.
The story has a happy ending - he is in Grad school doing his PhDat one of the most prestigious U’s in the world- despite where he earned his UG degree.And its on their dime!
The same can happen to you.
The cream always rises to the top!
Your world will not end if you dont go to Duke. And both you and your parents will breathe so much easier if you choose to take the scholarship $$ and make the most of it! They are paying YOU to go to college!
Congratulations on the prestigious full ride scholarship. Be very proud of it!
I doubt it. I don’t know too many successful adults who are still wallowing in regret about their college choice 10+ years ago, or even 5+ years ago. There are a lot of things most people would have done differently in life if they could have, or could’ve afforded it - but most people move on and look towards the future.
There is a lot of evidence for the “cream rises to the top” saying, OP. If you are bright and driven enough to get into Duke, then you are bright and driven enough to succeed at Denver and go on to do big things in your chosen field. And FWIW, I chose the affordable undergrad and then ended up at the dream school for grad school.
I turned down Boston College to attend a college that, if people here have heard of it, most would barely consider a safety. Somehow I managed to go on and have a productive life and great career. I don’t at all regret choosing the school that offered me the opportunity to graduate debt-free.
Congratulations on your hard work, your accomplishments and your terrific options. Follow the money - it is the right thing to do, and clearly you recognize that. Continue your hard work in college and you will not be held back in any way. Good luck to you.