I have often been angered by my kids taking second place to athletes hailed as heroes through the corridors of elementary, middle and high school. Now, I know they bring in revenue, but it’s ridiculous that now they are claiming these C students will now being “more successful”. It’s like they can’t share the spotlight.
I find that even among family and friends, there are always those who will try to downplay a kid’s great ACT score to say…well, it’s only one day. My child is well rounded and doesn’t really go for the grades. Seriously? I congratulate them on their catch that Friday…or basket the following week knowing for some that is the only way they will get into a school.
What I don’t like is when they knock the scholarly kids who love learning…and do it as a sport. Just because Johnny or Susie didn’t play sports or run for all the offices to be “seen”…doesn’t mean they are missing out. They get fulfillment out of behind the scenes things, books, tinkering…etc.
My D in 8th grade last year made the 4.0 honor roll and was given doughnuts for her and all those who made them. However after eating the Principal said, “You guys worked hard and it shows. BUT, those who are athletes and here…THAT is truly amazing. Stand up and let’s give them a hand.” Really?
I don’t agree with this article. I showed it to my D and she said, “Haven’t they read the studies that higher grades mean higher salaries and satisfaction from being able to have choices?” That’s my girl.
probably so @MotherOfDragons It just peeves me to see that I have to swoon at every athletic victory…but there is starting to be less and less merit acknowledgement. Well, a small blurb in the school newsletter. We just had a parade for athletes through the town last weekend. Hear about the ethics or scholar bowl champs, nah. Who do they think pays all those donations to the athletic programs, etc ?
Sidenote: I also had to tell my D that my good friend’s kid who has a 2.4 average will be going to a prestigious school on full tuition b/c he is recruited for football. We wouldn’t even get 5000.00 for merit aid there. sad.
"find that even among family and friends, there are always those who will try to downplay a kid’s great ACT score to say…well, it’s only one day. "
Try not sharing your kid’s ACT score with others, as its really nobody’s business. (Thought experiment - how would you feel if your kid shared every time you got a promotion, raise, or was praised for a project?)
Doing well is the best revenge. Who cares that some nosy Mommy in your neighborhood lives vicariously through her kid’s sports success. Let her. She’s the fool, not you.
true. I guess we didn’t do much to acknowledge. Just called grandparents…who then told aunts, uncles, etc. They tell us stuff about their kids…and we usually awe and think it’s great b/c we think each takes their own “lane” in this thing. I just don’t like it when you detract via FB as a response to my kid doing ok. Everything in this family is passive aggressive. And we are in the middle of jockville. Thanks for letting me rant. Who am I going to tell? They will just post something about mental illness that I must have b/c I am peeved.
I used to work at the University of Miami’s Sports Information office, and I saw what happened to most of those scholarship kids. They didn’t end up with degrees, and most lost their scholarships the minute they didn’t live up to expectations or blew out a knee.
The people I find most successful are those who understand their own self-worth and values independently of others validation. I hope my kids continually work on being the best version of themselves and encourage others to do the same. It does not need to be the same path.
@motherofdragons that’s what I was thinking. It’s like some of the news about those full need aid scholarships to the ivies…with a lower GPA and test score. I always think it is a long road ahead. I can’t imagine the kid who really can’t keep up academically, but contributes to their athletic dept. But then again, I have seen where the kid didn’t really need to do as well…somehow they magically got smarter in smaller schools where they are given a lot of “help”. I hope that doesn’t still go on. It really doesn’t help them in the long run. I don’t even mind if the kids get scholarships…I am just getting tired of academic kids that don’t play sports getting the short end when they don’t quite make it for need based…and don’t have sports to give them a boost. Oh well. rant over.
It’s not an article – its an opinion piece. And you reject it; great.
Why rant over someone’s opinion, just bcos they are a blogger. There are a gazillion other opinions – will you rant against those too? Do you have that much time and energy?
yes, “really.” In some/many cases, sports is the only thing that keeps kids in school. (now, perhaps that should be a rant.) Otherwise, the drop out rate would be even higher.
Bingo! (Do grandparents really know what a 29 is? Can they really differentiate it from a 28?)
I couldn’t get past number 2. C students are C students because they’re sticking it to the man. 8-|
C students, and even those who don’t graduate high school, can be successful.
My parents, as far as I know, never told my grandparents any of my act scores or gpa. They just never much cared. Why should they? They rather cared when I was doing something in the community and about the type of person I was.
Just so you know, it’s not a piece of cake on the other side either. Consider how common is the phrase “dumb jock,” if you think athletes get more praise than they deserve. I can’t tell you how many people assumed my athlete D got into her school with lower than average stats, when in reality that was not the case. Worse, some parents think that if their child didn’t get in that school, that their place was taken by my D specifically, or by some athlete in general. It’s offensive and it gets old. I agree that academic accomplishments should be valued more highly by most high schools. On the flip side, I know that some of those academic achievements can be boosted quite a bit by parents who can afford to spend lots of money on summer classes, and math camps and private tutors for their children–just like they can in sports.
In sum, none of us walk in anyone else’s shoes but our own. Like your child, other children also have the right to use what they have to find success. We all have different gifts to offer, and there’s room to give everyone their due. Maybe you don’t realize how very tough it is to juggle varsity sports with high level academics. I’m here to tell you it is difficult. I don’t know about your high school, but at ours the time and energy commitment required for athletics is far greater than that required for other involvements. I know, because my kids did some of those activities too (first chair instrument, lead in the play, club president etc.) So maybe you could stand to be a bit more charitable about athletes.
I am totally with you, OP. I don’t give a fig for sports, even though my S plays lacrosse and I think it’s a great sport. My D has never done a sport, but she has spent wayyyyyy more time doing work and other activites than most athletes, I bet. Several kids in our high school got in ED to Ivy colleges. A post went up in social media, congratulating them, and hundreds of people “liked” it. IMO, those kids worked their butts off for thirteen years and got a great prize, and they are excellent representatives of our school. Some killjoys seemed to imply that their rewards were gloating, and making the kids feel bad who didn’t get in ED. These are the same paretns who announce every play by play during a football game, and rally folks to meet the team bus after coming home from a win. I call BS. Why is it okay to celebrate a group of kids who spent a season practicing and playing games, but not okay to celebrate scholars who worked literally for years to achieve a goal? I hate the overemphasis of sports in American education. Education should be about learning, and at the end of the day, very few high school athletes will earning a living because high school sports.
The article makes the mistake of assuming that the qualities of a few outliers among C students can be generalized across all C students.
Note that such outliers can exist among A and B students. Also, 1-5,7,10 (which are all slightly different variations of the same thing) do not necessarily lead to success – those who hit the right idea will be successful, but others may go off in an unsuccessful direction.
Again, it may vary by school, but at a large and competitive high school the kids who are good enough to make the varsity team have also spent years and years working to achieve that goal. They have given up practically all of their weekends and holidays since elementary school for games and tournaments if they have played club sports. Don’t fool yourself that they just showed up and put in a season’s worth of work, Lindagaf.
Sure, sports are sometimes over-emphasized in our society and I don’t agree with that either. Still, maybe you could find a way to promote scholars without diminishing athletes, and especially those who are both. Why do you assume it’s an either / or? Both of my older kids got perfect 800’s in CR on the SAT and over 700 on math and were AP Scholars (son took 13 AP’s, for example), and were ALSO athletes.
I completely agree that academics should be celebrated over sports, but the fact is you choose of your own free will to engage with these other parents. The world wouldn’t end if you stopped caring about or commenting about what some kid not your own got on the soccer field. You can cultivate indifference pretty easily.
As an aside, yet another reason I like to stay off FB . . . though I do get lured back unfortunately.
I think so many problems in life could be avoided if we didn’t engage in comparison. I don’t mind sharing information that could be helpful to others (as I have been helped) or celebrating achievements (sharing in the joy is one of those human things that brings sweetness to life). But the comparison game gets us on the wrong track imho.
“These are the same paretns who announce every play by play during a football game, and rally folks to meet the team bus after coming home from a win. I call BS.”
If my kid weren’t involved, there is no way I’d pay the slightest bit of attention to attending a high school football game, not to mention wasting my time monitoring who is calling the play by play and when the team bus comes home. I don’t understand why you can’t disengage from this scene and these people and let them talk about whatever the heck they like and hold whatever opinions they like.
so agree, @Lindagaf . I don’t want to take away from athletes, but our society is way off when pro players make millions and educators in the high school and below are close to the poverty line in many states. I don’t know why people say it’s weird to tell grandparents good things in all aspects. Our family values education and achievement in it. Their grandparents remember when the kids’ dad got a high ACT way back when…so they DO know. It’s something we value…a mile marker. If it’s being the quarterback…artist…whatever. But, I am sick of hearing that if you are excited about NMF or ACT score…you are gloating. We live far away from our families. So, we share the things that excite us. Who would I tell here? That’s what family is for @romanigypsyeyes …to tell your accomplishments and joys. AND, they have google. Look it up, Nana. I think you will be impressed with your grandson’s score. It’s not a touchdown, but it might mean full tuition. That should mean something to the depression era grandparents. My first intention for this thread was to bring attention to what family and friends are posting after hearing about scores on tests and things. Ok, you think your C student will be something great. Fine, I am sure they will…they probably have people skills out the wazoo. But, don’t down my kid by saying that yours will do better than mine…or that they intentionally try to get the C grades. Seriously, I think those that go for mediocrity to “rebel” will be just that…mediocre. Like I tell my second child who isn’t as naturally smart as older sibling…you study, take notes, read, try, and have conversations with the teacher…and if you get that B, it is a prize. But that is never his goal. He is reaching for the A like that kid running drills every day…or have you never heard of Rudy?
I always find it interesting that schools often note on their websites or the local papers run an article on National signing day - lauding athletes and the schools they commit to. But - they don’t do so for kids who get into those schools based on academics and ecs. As if getting into Yale as an athlete is more impressive than getting in on academic merits alone.
