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If itās under 5 hours I suck it up. If the person next to me is of ā¦umā¦what term can one use these daysā¦exceptional proportionā¦then the aisle seat for me works. But it is an absolute NO to keeping the armrest up for āboth of our comfortsā. And it is a NO for manspreading. I will push back with legs and elbows and if need be rest my head on their shoulder to sleep.
For internationalā¦wellā¦at this point with only so many years left on the planet itās either Premium Economy or Business class.
As for an overall solutionā¦how about total weight. Person+carryon+checked baggage gives a base fare. If the person exceeds a certain measurement (like the ones given for baggage) then there is an upcharge. If the bag/person doesnāt fit in the allowed space then againā¦extra space needs to be purchased.
Nowā¦ what do we do about the Jetway Jesus cures? 25 wheelchairs enter for preboarding but only 10 exit. 'Cause altitude cures.
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Well, the potential upside, if one wants a quiet flight, is to deny the plus sized person the request to lift the armrest. That will likely lead to a frosty few hours. And if one doesnāt want to be skin on skin with a raised armrest, am thinking resting ones head on a strangerās shoulderā¦ would be a hard no. Ditto for leg and elbow pushing. And thinking a polite āwould you mind giving me a bit more of my space (or words to that effect) might be less confrontational.
Thatās funny, āmanspreading.ā Iāve never heard it called that.
My legs are a tad longer and tad larger than that a lot of folks. So, good luck with me in the seat next to you. We would have one of those flights where they would have to escort one of us off the plane. 
I have to reserve an aisle seat, since I can stretch out my leg(s). And my shoulders are a tad wider than most folks, so the aisle seat helps. But with an aisle seat, everyone, and everything hits my outside shoulder with their bodies, carts, luggage, etc. Drives me bonkers.
And then my other shoulder will often bother the other person in the middle seat, but thatās usually my spouse. However, what I end up doing on every flight is that Iām constantly moving my upper body left and right to avoid being hit or crowding my spouse on the other side.
As for plus-sized person, as mentioned above, space costs money. I think the current Southwest policy is nice and generous.
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Frosty it would not be 
And if Iām going to be non-frosty then it might as well be with a nice head rest on the warm adjacent shoulder.
H and I sit in aisle seats across from each other unless it is in an upgraded cabin.
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Stuff like this has already been talked about within airlines and regulators over the years, in the context of aircraft weight limits:
As far as size, Southwest Airlinesā customer of size policy is based on whether the customer fits in the seat with the armrest down, which is probably the easiest to use measure that requires no judgement call.
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Not because of me. But I would be happy to put my feet in the adjacent spreaders footwell. You get my thighs space, I intrude on your foot space. Itās simple.
As for āmanspreadingāā¦it is a daily discussion on traveler/flyer threads.
Good luck with that.
Iām not a frequent flyer, thankfully.
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Thanks! Itās worked pretty well. And I am grateful for my āprivilegeā granting me the ability to travel the world. I sure does open ones eyesā and expand onesā views.
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Neither of us is a fan of beans! 
Just saw this:
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The frosty one would be the person pissed at the armrest situation. And surely they donāt want a strangerās head on them. Eww
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Thinking, but not sayingā¦.
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My H is thin but a broad 6ā4. He canāt fit his legs in most airline seats unless heās in plus or higher. When we fly, we suck it up and pay for more expensive seats to have more room or we do a driving vacation if itās a leaner year.
I think the onus should be on the consumer and itās not ok to encroach into the space of people around you.
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We have mostly switched to economy plus or better seats because our flights are mostly 5+ hours (sometimes much longer). We appreciate having more space and are willing to pay for it.
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There are many scenarios that make flying unpleasant, for which there are no remedies. Some were already mentioned (manspreading is a big one - happens to me almost every time Iām seated next to a male passenger), flying next to someone with a big kid on their lap (I think itās 2 or younger, but 2-year-olds these days are big and I think some people fudge the actual age) with the kid kicking you the whole flight (had that one happen on a red eye from CA-NC). Someone who doesnāt bathe or use deodorant on a regular basis, someone who brings on a smelly airport meal, someone who chooses a window seat but has to use the restroom every hour and letās not forget - the person who reclines their seat, so itās in your lap for the whole flight - the list is endless. But thereās a particular disdain reserved for the overweight passenger.
I get it - I donāt want to be smooshed into a corner of my seat either, but thereās no excuse for the public shaming of overweight passengers. Airlines need to find a way to handle it discretely before boarding - maybe a pop-up window when booking the ticket that requires the purchase of a second seat if hip measurements are over a certain number of inches, with the penalty being denied boarding on full flights, and then include the refund policy if the seat next to them is empty.
Most of my flights are less than 3 hours. I try to only book aisles because I like to get off fast and hate waiting for everyone to unload their stuff from the overhead bins. If Iām flying longer, Iām willing to pay more for a better seat. If Iām flying with my husband, who is tall, I book us both into aisle seats across from one another. I also book early so I have control over seat choice (flew SW once, didnāt like not picking my seat ahead of time).
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Not sure if what Air New Zealand did recently (for survey purpose, at least for now) has been mentioned upthread:
This is uniquely a Southwest problem. Its boarding process needs a rework because it deters more and more flyers from flying on Southwest.
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I am a slender woman and have been seated next to someone who was very overweight and did not fit in his seat. The first time, with armrest up, I was squashed as he overflowed into my space. From then on, I put the armrest down first thing when seated. (I have always arrived first since then.)
However, since then when seated next to very fat people I have been more sympathetic. No, I do not like to have someone in my space, but I have seen firsthand how overweight people struggle with embarrassment and try not to intrude on my space. The last very large person I sat next to fought to keep his arms in for the whole flight. That could not have been comfortable.
The woman who moved from a middle seat? She deserves praise. She made everyone more comfortable.
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Likely they keep it that way because it speeds turn around time.
Also, other airlines are now charging extra for preassigned seats, so they are relinquishing any perceived advantage among some passengers in this area.