<p>I can completely understand this. But, as we have discussed on other threads, if your son gets drunk and has sex with an equally drunken girl, the official ball is in her court in terms of deciding whether it was consensual or not. He could find himself accused of sexual assault in a college disciplinary hearing that does not use the evidence rules of a criminal proceeding, even if they both “consented” at the time, because she is considered to be incapable of consent if she was drunk. The same apparently does not apply to him. He could find himself obligated to support a child, because they were too drunk to use protection. He could find himself with an STD.</p>
<p>This is leaving aside the possibility that in his drunken state he actually DID ignore her non-consent, whether that was active or passive. </p>
<p>Bottom line: drunken hookups are a really bad idea for all concerned for many reasons. Emotional, physical, and legal. Many think that the majority of sexual assaults go unreported, and that many of them are alcohol-fueled.</p>
<p>Acknowledging that females process alcohol differently than males, I don’t understand this quote at all:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I think we need to worry very much about our drunk sons as well as our daughters:</p>
<p>Male drivers involved in fatal crashes were nearly twice as likely to have
been intoxicated (21.8%) than were females (11.2%). (NHTSA, 1996)</p>
<p>Men are four times more likely than women to drive after drinking (Miller
et al, 1996c)</p>
<p>In 1995, there were 11,723 fatally injured drivers in single vehicle crashes.
About 46.7% were intoxicated. (NHTSA, 1996)</p>
<p>The highest intoxication rates in fatal crashes in 1998 were recorded for
drivers 21-24 years old (28%), followed by ages 25-34 (24%) and 35-44
(21%). (NHTSA, 1999)</p>
<p>Nearly a third of males (31%) drive after drinking in the past year,
compared with only 13% of females. (NHTSA, 1996)</p>
<p>Males are also more likely to die from alcohol poisoning than females, they are more likely to commit violence against others when intoxicated, and they are more likely to be arrested for committing crimes when intoxicated than females.</p>
<h2>Males are statistically more likely to die as a result of alcohol-related deaths (not just alcohol poisoning) than females.</h2>
<p>Alcohol abuse should scare us all, not just parents of daughters!</p>
Thank you Nrdsb4, you made the point I have been struggling with much better than I have been able to. Our sons have much to lose also, and I’m sure claremarie doesn’t mean to suggest that daughters are more valuable than sons.<br>
And in the interests of accuracy should include the stats Nrdsb4 has provided as well, yes?</p>
<p>I would worry more about my daughter because at 5’2" and 110 lbs she would be in more danger than my 6 ft 200 lb son. I’m guessing here, but just my guess that girls are more likely to be taken advantage of when drunk than boys. I’m sure boys do plenty of dumb things, but I hear more stories on the news about college girls going missing after being at a bar or a concert than boys. And boys in general tend to be more aggressive than girls. </p>
<p>So yes, I would fear more for her physical safety, but I worry about both of them.</p>
<p>^^^^eyeamom, this is what I don’t get. Yes, females are FAR more likely to be sexually assaulted than males.</p>
<p>But since our sons are far more likely to be killed in a drunk driving accident, physically assaulted in a male on male fight, dead of alcohol poisoning, or dead in some other alcohol related accident, why do we fear more for the “physical safety” of our daughters?</p>
<p>It seems to me that our kids are all in mortal danger of their “physical safety” due to the extreme alcohol abuse that is occurring on our campuses today.</p>
<p>And in the interests of accuracy should include the stats Nrdsb4 has provided as well, yes?</p>
<p>Of course. Males seem to engage in risky behavior that leads to accidents, oft times deadly. Testosterone poisoning & liquor is not a good thing. Women are more prone to alcohol poisoning, but they also put themselves in dangerous situations as well.</p>
<p>Yes, all of the points regarding risks for men who abuse alcohol are well taken.
But most of those risks involve cars, or serious criminal activities.</p>
<p>In the college setting, especially on residential campuses where most students are not drinking and driving, and the guys don’t have guns or other weapons, I would still contend that women are at higher risk of harm, both for questionable/unwanted sexual activity, and for both short- and long-term health complications.</p>
<p>I guess you don’t get how a girl who had a few drinks will be way more likely to be sexually assaulted than a boy in the same situation. </p>
<p>I remember drinking in college and boys always thinking he’d help out the poor drunk girl by taking her home and “helping” her get into her pajamas. I don’t really think that’s an MO of girls when faced with a boy who had too much to drink.</p>
<p>That being said - make no mistake, I worry about them both for different reasons.</p>
<p>I think it would be more accurate to say women are more susceptible to alcohol poisoning (because they metabolize alcohol differently and are on average smaller) but men are more prone to alcohol poisoning (because men are more likely to engage in the hugely excessive drinking sessions that lead to alcohol poisoning).</p>
<p>From the study “Gender differences in alcohol consumption and adverse drinking consequences: cross-cultural patterns”</p>
<pre><code>Richard W. Wilsnack,
Nancy D. Vogeltanz,
Sharon C. Wilsnack,
T. Robert Harris
</code></pre>
<p>Aims: To examine the consistency and/or variability of gender differences in drinking behavior crossculturally. Design, setting, participants: Women’s and men’s responses in 16 general population surveys from 10 countries, analyzed by members of the International Research Group on Gender and Alcohol. Measurements: Comparable measures of drinking, versus abstention, typical drinking frequencies and quantities, heavy episodic drinking, intoxication, morning drinking, and alcohol-related family and occupational problems. Findings: Women and men differed little in the probability of currently drinking versus abstaining, but men consistently exceeded women in typical drinking frequencies and quantities and in rates of heavy drinking episodes and adverse drinking consequences, while women were consistently more likely than men to be life-time abstainers. In older age groups, both men and women drank smaller quantities of alcohol and were more likely to stop drinking altogether, but drinking frequencies did not change consistently with age. Conclusions: A theoretical synthesis proposes that gender roles may amplify biological differences in reactions to alcohol, and that gender differences in drinking behavior may be modified by macrosocial factors that modify gender role contrasts.</p>
<hr>
<p>What this tells me is that the consequences of heavy drinking are theoretically more dangerous for women than men due to their biological differences, but the reality is that fewer women actually engage in these heavy drinking patterns. </p>
<p>That explains to me the disparity in alcohol poisonings between males and females.</p>
<p>No, you’re wrong-I totally get that and said so earlier. But the fact that girls are more likely to be in “physical danger” from sexual assault than males doesn’t in the slightest degree mean that males are not in significant physical peril due to other negative consequences of alcohol consumption. There are a whole host of ways for our sons to be hurt other than sexual assault, and we should worry about their safety every bit as much.</p>
<p>Why is drinking alcohol by anyone, let alone those under 25, so important, so valued, so necessary?
It is such a shame that this has become an expected, accepted and misused, entrenched aspect of our culture, that being an adult is defined by whether one can drink alcohol more than one being responsible and mature…</p>
<p>Are the stresses and pressure going up so as to make the relaxation and escapist effects so attractive?
Is affluence and physical comfort taking care of young peoples’ needs such that they are they have to take risks like this to feel actualized?
Are kids so uncomfortable with each other socially in person that they rely on this stuff to feel comfortable with each other, as they spend more and more of their time hyper-socializing (internet, email, Fb, twitter, text)…???</p>
<p>I have a son senior, and a daughter, junior, in very different colleges. One is at a very small public liberal arts college, (CTCL college) where drugs are more the issue, the other at a small-medium private top liberal arts college where alcohol abuse and binge drinking is a huge issue. </p>
<p>Both of my kids continue to find their way, but have complained about how the drugs and/or the alcohol for so many students becomes the absolute focus of parties/socializing etc. The issue of sexual assault and of alcohol poisoning on their campuses is more significant at the private LAC. My frustration is how the colleges appear to turn a blind eye. They provide required quality alcohol education for all students but that seems to be where their involvement ends. So when students get DUI’s or are hospitalized for alcohol poisoning there is little real follow up after to continue to educate… Wondering about other parents’ experiences</p>
<p>“My frustration is how the colleges appear to turn a blind eye. They provide required quality alcohol education for all students but that seems to be where their involvement ends.”</p>
<p>IMO, that’s because many college administrators are conflicted about this issue. On the one hand, they face enormous liability and public relations issues when Really Bad Stuff happens on their campuses. On the other, most universities have long since dropped any pretense of the “in loco parentis” role that most took for granted in previous generations. Their students demand to be treated as adults (which, legally, they are except with respect to alcohol), and the parents seem happy to go along with that demand. At college orientation events, both students and parents roll their eyes at the mandatory drug/alcohol/sex information sessions, which seem to be regarded more as CYA imposed by the general counsel’s office rather than a truly useful source of information. Parents who dare to ask questions of the dorm staff regarding enforcement of alcohol rules get the same eye-roll from their less-uptight peers. The widespread attitude among the parents seems to be “they’re going to drink because they’re college kids but you damn well better not hurt their chances of getting into law school by writing up reports on alcohol violations.”</p>