<p>I graduated from Smith in the '80s, and I only recently joined the online Smith Alumnae Network. I had always heard that the Smith alums were very helpful to each other. I was approached once by a Smith student who had questions about the industry I was in, and I spent about an hour on the phone with her (this was before email) answering her questions and helping her in any way that I could.</p>
<p>I recently reached out to 2 alums who were also on the Smith Alumnae Network and wrote a friendly email offering my company's services in saving their employees money on their mortgages. I stated when I graduated from Smith, and that I had found them through the online Alumnae Network.</p>
<p>My company is not a start up. The principals have over 20 years experience, and we offer this service to some very well known investment banks and law firms. In my mind, it's a win win -- personalized service, discounted rates and closing costs, and experienced professionals who can help save employees time and money. I said all this in my email.</p>
<p>I just got the most venomous, hostile, lengthy response from one alum -- how dare you? How did you get my name? This is impolite, etc.</p>
<p>I am quite surprised by her response. She could have simply chosen not to respond. </p>
<p>Has anyone had good (or bad) alumae networking experiences?</p>
<p>Wow, I’m surprised by her response! My interactions with the alum network have always been extremely positive. In my experience, alums are more like you, they’ve always been happy to take the time to answer my questions and give me guidance. One of them even helped me get an internship even though she didn’t know me from Adam, and if it wasn’t for that internship I would probably not have gotten the great post-graduation job I did (the woman I interned for while at Smith, who was friends with the Smithie who recommended me, ended up becoming a mentor and offering me my current position a couple of years later). </p>
<p>One of the things I’ve always really appreciated about Smith is that the alum network has been, in my experience, very welcoming and supportive. And I also feel that there’s an expectation in the college that after you graduate, you have to do your part and help other grads (and other women generally) as you yourself were helped. Even though I’m still a young alum, I get a fair amount of career questions and requests from other Smithies and I make an effort to answer each one. Even if that alum didn’t appreciate being contacted, she should have either politely declined or else not responded at all. She’s the one that put her info up on the online alum directory, it’s not required that you do so. It’s purpose is to help grads stay in touch personally and even professionally as appropriate.</p>
<p>^I’m glad, theDad! And thanks, SmithieandProud – your experience is similar to mine – Smith women help each other.</p>
<p>I did get a response from the other alum I’d emailed – very professional and cordial – thanks for letting me know about this but not interested at this time.</p>
<p>Maybe the other person was just having a bad day…</p>
<p>I’m not an alum, just a Smith parent, but what strikes me about this situation is that you were OFFERING a service, not asking for help. I’m not saying that what you were offering was inappropriate, just simply that it’s a different relationship than one where someone is asking for help. There’s a vulnerability when people ask for help and when we can help, we feel generous when we respond. When people offer something, we are placed in a situation of making a decision to accept or reject the offer and sometimes we feel vulnerable. Maybe your offer was the umpteenth come-on for that alum and she’d just had enough and it didn’t matter how respectful you were or that you were Smith sisters. I hope she’s having a better day today! :)</p>
<p>^^you’re both right – and I have reconsidered my approach and I don’t think I will be emailing any other alums. It would be different if we already knew each other and my offer came up naturally, but I can see how someone might react poorly to it. What I might do instead is see if I can advertise on the Smith Alumnae Network, and then if someone is interested, they can contact me directly. That might be a more appropriate approach.</p>