Am I a Liar?

<p>I am entering my senior year this fall, and so am receiving an enormous amount of college material in the mail. Currently, my top preferences are primarily private, relatively selective colleges that do not offer merit aid. My mother feels that my hopes of attending are slim to none, due to the price listed in the brochures. She feels that without a possibility of merit scholarship, my middle-class family will never be able to afford these institutions. </p>

<p>I tried to explain to her the nature of a financial aid package, assuring her that the EFC will be far below the total cost, and that my tuition will be assisted through grants, work-study, etc. </p>

<p>I know that each families situation is unique, but am I telling my mother a lie? Will it be completely impossible for my family to afford a private college, being middle-class? I guess I fall within the 75,000-100,000 income category, family of 5, mom attends college part-time. I know I can look at a calculator online, but I just wanted some real feedback from families that have already gone through the process.</p>

<p>It doesn't matter for financial aid purposes that your mother attends college. Parents don't count. The EFC might still be more than what your parents want to pay, and don't forget your aid package will probably include a lot of loans. It might be selfish for you to choose a private college if everyone else in the family will have to make lifestyle changes to make the EFC. Also, you may suck up so much of the free cash that your sibilings will have a harder time affording college. Then again, some financial aid packages are generous enough to lower the costs to below the tuition of a state college.</p>

<p>Anyways, the difference between 75,000 and 100,000 is huge. </p>

<p>You should definitely plan on working as much as possible to ease the burden on your family whereever you go.</p>

<p>It is important to keep your options open so that you will have a variety of choices next Spring. You can go ahead and apply to expensive, "dream" schools and maybe receive financial aid, but be sure to also apply to less expensive schools that you and your family can afford in case there is not enough aid available. Thank goodness we did that, or we would have been forced to completely obliterate all of our savings. My D is thrilled that she will emerge debt free in four years, with savings to atted grad school if she so chooses.</p>

<p>For private colleges they look at more than just income. If your parents own a home and have investments and savings, that will also be part of the picture.</p>

<p>Keep in mind that very few schools meet full need and most that do are very selective.</p>

<p>The truth is that many middle/upper middle families can not afford their EFCs and private colleges. It sounds like your mother is telling you the family can't stretch, so do the calculators and get your personal facts!</p>

<p>It doesn't sound promising (based on the posters above), but work hard and apply. It doesn't hurt to see what they're willing to offer you.</p>

<p>If you do apply, do it with the understanding that your chances of going there may not be good. You may be pleasantly surprised, so the application may be worth it. Bu tif you apply just as a "I wonder if I'll get in" and have a lot of backups that you can afford, you won't be screaming in April "I can't go to my dream school!"</p>

<p>If you don't feel that you can turn down these schools without resenting it, then yes, your mother is right; don't apply.</p>

<p>I want to also chime in that you can apply to these schools and see what the offer is, BUT also apply to some affordable schools that you could be satisfied with. In the end, you may be lucky to see that you can manage your "dream", but even in the course of a year (from now till graduation) your tune may change. The more affordable schools may be more appealing, but most of all they may be the more realistic, better choice for you. </p>

<p>Never limit yourself to only the exclusive. And yes, you better discuss with your parents what they are willing to pay of the EFC - just because the FAFSA says that's what they can afford, they are not required to fork it over to you.</p>

<p>I think the way most middle class people approach these expensive private colleges is to apply to them with the mindset that you might attend if you are accepted and the financial aid package is reasonable. If not, you will attend a more affordable school. With me (my family makes around $80,000 a year), I applied to JHU, Stanford, and Brown under the assumption that if I got in, I would only attend one of these universities if the financial aid package was suitable to my family (my brother is also in college), if it wasn't affordable I would attend Umich. But actually when April came around and I was accepted to JHU and to Brown, their financial aid packages were basically better than Umich's (even though I did lose my state grants which really sucked). So don't forget that these schools give impressive financial aid but even then it is important to have a couple financial backups.</p>

<p>Have your mom take a look at some on-line calculators. This very simple one <a href="http://www.finaid.org/calculators/quickefcchart.phtml%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.finaid.org/calculators/quickefcchart.phtml&lt;/a> came very close in predicting the amount asked from our family from the schools that gave the best financial aid. If the amount asked looks in the ballpark (assuming that you will contribute from work-study, summer work and assets), then go ahead and apply to some schools with high tuition. And, yes, have at least one financial safety.</p>

<p>p.s. Based on experience, you most certainly can have less $ required from a private college than a public university.</p>

<p>Unless you own a complicated business, have lots of unvalued stock options or such, figuring out your EFC range is not hard. I disagree that everyone should just apply and wait and see. Most 17 year olds will have a difficult time facing reality in April. </p>

<p>If the EFC is within a few thousand dollars I would apply, but if my EFC were $25K and I could only afford $5K, I'd have my kids focus on what we can afford.</p>

<p>You're not lying but you may have a common misunderstanding of financial aid. Everyone can't afford all colleges any more than they can all cars.</p>

<p>UCgrad, I agree to a point. But so much can happen between now and spring. Scholarships alone (if the OP is willing to try for them) can make the difference. </p>

<p>For most students, it takes a lot of hard work to make college work no matter how expensive. Good students are often led to believe that $$ will be falling from the sky to get them whereever they want to go. I can vouch that is not true and was a surprise to us. While D did pretty well with merit aid and scholarships, her tuition/rb is in no way all covered. We will pony up a good amount of $$ (she will too) to make her # one school work. But we also keep in mind siblings 2 and 3 coming up in a few years.</p>

<p>Each family situation is unique, so you really need to do the calculator to find out. But be not TOO discouraged! We have a family of 4, with income in that category, and we found that the cost of a private college (which meets 100% of demonstrated need, and uses FAFSA and PROFILE), is similar to the cost of our public university.</p>

<p>Thank you all for your advice! Although I do have more affordable schools in mind, and will also be applying to some outside scholarships, I generally wanted to know if it would be completely impossible to attend a more expensive school. Though some of the responses above seem a bit discouraging, I know that they are realistic. I also realize that it doesn't hurt to apply and see finaid packages before making my decision--just as long as I realize that price has to be a deciding factor. Thanks again...</p>

<p>I'd suggest you talk to your parents about how much a year they are planning on paying for your college ... DO NOT talk particular schools but the amount they are willing to pay/borrow to help pay for school. This will let you gage if they will pay their EFC or not and then gage how much various schools might cost (you can estimate your families EFC and most schools document their typical financial aid package ... and assume the aid will be on the low end of the range). With these 2 pieces of info you can generate a list of schools to which applying is realistic (and add any merit aid schools).</p>