Yup, RA time.
Yeah, you guys are right. I’m going to my RA today.
Also agree to get the RA involved. There are plenty of other places to study on a college campus, but only one place where you can sleep!
Agree that your RA needs to know now that you need help. It may also help to involve her/him with this because your housing application for transfer may need support. You do hope to move.
It sounds like your roommate was used to setting her alarm and having Mama come and shake her awake to get her ready for school. Sorry, but you are not her Mama and you need your sleep.
I get that we all have different sleep requirements. I need a minimum of 4 hours and my husband has to have 10 hours minimum, or he is a zombie for the whole day. This BS that “this is college” is a BS EXCUSE and is very inconsiderate.
(Why don’t they have roommate surveys/questionnaires anymore? I know it wouldn’t resolve your issues. Just my thoughts. Now that everything is on computers, you would think that the surveys could be streamlined.)
Go to theRA. Your roommate is an entitled brat, who accused you of making her adapt to your schedule, not understanding that you are adapting to hers. She can study elsewhere, you pay as much as she does for the room. If her lamp isn’t adequate she can get a better one
Your roommate is rude…plain and simple. Thinking that its okay to let an alarm ring off while she sleeps through it?
Deciding what is “normal” sleeping for college? Telling you how you should adapt to her regimen? NO. This won’t be the last of the issues with her I can almost guarantee. Do what you can to compromise on some things and then hold your line on others. She needs to understand that her way isn’t the only way.
You should medicate yourself so you can adapt to her schedule? That’s just selfish. Mention that to your RA. When the room transfer options open up look into it, but make sure your parents are willing/able to pay for a single before you agree to take one.
I talked to my RA today. He said he would like the both of us to go talk to him together tomorrow, so he can help find a solution for us. I’ll tell my roommate soon that we should go talk to him. Ugh, unfortunately, he says the earliest I could switch is probably in three weeks. Fortunately, my parents are willing to pay for a single, but how am I supposed spend three weeks like this? My roommate is still mad at me, so things are tense.
You are not being unreasonable. However, since your roommate appears unwilling to compromise, I would no longer assist in waking them up if they sleep through the alarm.
Don’t wake her up! If she misses her classes, so be it. You are not her caretaker, mama, or zookeeper.
Too bad if she is pi$$ed at you; you have more right to be angry with her manipulative behaviors. Trying to get you to take drugs because she can’t be considerate enough to have a light alarm is her problem.
Speak to the RA and make sure he hears you. She may try to manipulate you both.
At my D’s parents weekend, I ran into a mom whose daighter got assigned to a different dorm because her D is a light sleeper and her roommate snores really bad. I asked if they part in good terms, the mom said they did. I think the key is to make compromises without hurting your relationship.
Last year, D was roommate with a girl who has boyfriend over all the time. D loves to sleep and often just turned around and slept while the guy was in the room watching shows, etc. Her roommate then might turned off the lights, D never knew when the boyfriend left. They maintained great relationship all year, as D never complained about anything…sometimes the door was locked from inside when she wanted to go to bed. They are no longer roommates and somehow the boyfriend broke up with the girl early this semester. D was seriously upset for her.
Oh, I’d shut off that alarm and go right back to sleep. No obligation to wake her up.
She might be happy that you want a single and agree to a three week truce.
For the three weeks, you expect adjustments on her part. Not just your own.
Today and yesterday she woke up on her own, so that at least isn’t a problem anymore. She also got a silent alarm and I got ear plugs. Not sure if it’ll work, but I’ll see tonight. Even if the alarm doesn’t wake me up though, I still really don’t want to room with her. What if I have an early class one quarter or want to go to bed early for some other reason? Plus, I now feel really uncomfortable around her. It kind of freaks me out how she’s so cold/kind of nasty towards me now when before she was so bubbly, friendly, and nice towards me. She’s like a different person now.
At some point, we all need to give and take. For most, 10 or 11 is a reasonable time for overheads to go off and there be quiet. Kids talk. “Hey, I have an 8am class on Tu/Th, can we move the time up for Mon/Wed nights?”
But you’re looking to move, what’s the worry about some other quarter? You need to be willing to problem solve.
Ten pm, btw, would give you 8 hours if you get up at 6am and need 2 hours to get ready and eat, get to an 8am class. Even that 2 hours is more than most need. You can dress and eat in an hour total.
Are you now overthinking?
I sympathize with you. I am a light sleeper and if there is light or noise it is hard for me to sleep. It sounds like you all need to do more studying outside the room in the lounge, study area or lobby etc. I had a very early riser, door slammer as a roommate. We just made a pack to study away from the room-her in the am and me at night. It gave us both time alone in the room to sleep and relax and we both had plenty of light and space to study. For the after alarm times try a eye mask and a white noise app on your phone to lull you back. Sleeping pills will leave you groggy. Hope it works out for you both
@lookingforward My RA is going to try and smooth things over so that I don’t switch rooms. He says that changing rooms is a last resort. That’s why I’m thinking about other quarters and what they would be like if I don’t move.
I’m trying to point out that you need to give some, too. And we don’t know how you delivered your request to her, whether she feels you have a demanding way. So the two of you apologize and look for a “fresh start.” Dont now overthink whether she’s not bubbly enough for you.
@lookingforward I see. Maybe I didn’t say things in an ideal way. Do you have a suggestion as to how I should tell her that I think we should see the RA tomorrow because I still haven’t mustered up the courage to do that?
Yeah, maybe I am overthinking. This situation is just really stressing me out. I’m not sure if she’d even be ok with the lights going out at 11 though being as when I asked if we could turn them off at 10:20 she got pretty upset. Ugh, I don’t even want to ask her anything anymore because I don’t want to set her off honestly.
Ok, I told her that I thought we should talk to the RA tomorrow and at first she said, “Why? You haven’t even tried the ear plugs yet,” but eventually she agreed. It’ll be so uncomfortable, but I think this is for the best.