<p>This is probably one of the most stressful weeks imaginable for students in your position. You're facing one of or even the most important decisions to be made in your life thus far. Don't be so hard on yourself -- the parents on these threads have become fond of you for good reason!
If only my son would appreciate my advice...:)</p>
<p>Hang in their, kid. Go watch a movie. Have mintchocolate chip. Take the weekend off.</p>
<p>Xiggi's right. Let the sting heal a bit and then take a look at Dartmouth. </p>
<p>Order a Dartmouth t-shirt and hoodie. You'll be surprised at how comfortable it feels to wear them. I predict that if you go to Dartmouth you will LOVE the place. After a very short time it will be "Princeton who? What was I thinking?"</p>
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If I were to take a year off, I would probably do what I described in post #26: earn as much money as possible during the summer to finance a volunteer project abroad in the fall, apply to a few colleges, and do something else (not yet determined) in the spring
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<p>cameliasinensis,</p>
<p>I know this is has been a very stressful week. You need time to decompress and take everything in, remember you still have a month before making a decision.</p>
<p>First of all I think you got some wonderful advice. </p>
<p>The net-net is these are your choices:</p>
<p>Choose a school, then decide to attend this fall or defer and attend next year (remembering if you defer you cannot apply to another school). If you like it stay, if you don't transfer to another school for sophomore year.</p>
<p>Turn down all of the schools you have been accepted to take a gap year then reapply (there are no guarantees that your outcome will be any different next year, but you can be pretty certain, that Dartmouth, Bryn Mawr and Wellesley will not be options should you decide to reapply).</p>
<p>Not getting in to the visa situation and whether or not you will be eligible to work in the U.S. keep in mind that "earning as much money as possible" will change your EFC and student contribution next year as the money you make will be considered an asset.</p>
<p>I would recommend going to admitted students days sitting in on classes, talking to other students on campus. While no school is the be all and end all, the one thing I can say about Dartmouth students, they love their school and they love being in Hanover.</p>
<p>Congratulations on your fine acceptances and financial packages.</p>
<p>A gap year could be good. I think you would indeed mature emotionally in a constructive gap year (you'll mature at college too, though). However, I am not so sure that a gap year will help with your most fundamental issues, as expressed in your thread.</p>
<p>If you see a gap year as a way to change your personality, to become more decisive, more sure of your choices and future, more sure of yourself, more clear on how to decide what to study, then I am a little skeptical.</p>
<p>You can't take a gap year from yourself. Therefore, imo, if you think you're indecisive now, lacking self-confidence now, you'll in all probability feel the same way in a year. </p>
<p>I think that those personality traits should be addressed directly, if you have a sense that they should be addressed or changed.</p>
<hr>
<p>As for Princeton, I regret very much that you were not accepted. But I do not think that a gap year will change anything there. The sum of your results thus far--including the Middlebury decision that you just posted--say that, regrettably but for whatever reason, colleges just don't see you as competitive at the Princeton level. </p>
<p>A gap year, which really is only a "gap six months" before you have to fill out new applications, is not imo going to dramatically change your college profile. It just isn't. If a gap year could routinely get people into elite schools, then vast numbers of people would be taking gap years. </p>
<p>I am wondering, too, about your current thinking about Dartmouth and Bryn Mawr. You always maintained that you would be happy to go to any of the schools to which you applied. And you were initially happy about your Dartmouth acceptance: </p>
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i got into dartmouth; i'm probably going there, and i'm really excited about that.
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<p>You had good reasons for your choices. You were obviously aware of Dartmouth's reputation for sports and drinking. But you were right to think deeper than that, and to realize that you can find like-minded people there, that it is a very good school and place. And they really want you! I would be very, very, very hesitant to throw that away for an ultra long shot at Princeton.</p>
<p>Princeton is then in good probability going to be on your mind and dominate your gap year and life--what to do to maximize your chances, how to tweak or change your essays, another agony of waiting for months for a decision, whether to get new or different recs, what new ECs to take on, whether to enter competitions; etc. That likelihood in my view will seriously disrupt the benefits that you can expect from a gap year.</p>
<p>And you'll have to apply to different colleges too. You absolutely will not be able to rely on the colleges you applied to this year. Sure, you can reapply to any of them, but you can't assume that those you declined will offer you the same acceptances (given that you wouldn't defer them a year), and you can't assume that you will get into those who rejected or waitlisted you this year. You'll need a number of new colleges to apply to, if not an entirely new list. Which colleges might they be? You'll need to spend a big chunk of the gap year, both from a time perspective and from an emotional perspective, working on that.</p>
<hr>
<p>So my advice is to accept your best college offer; to take a gap year if you have a constructive plan for it; and to address whatever personality issues you want to address separately, and not see a gap year as a means to change yourself in a fundamental manner.</p>
<p>Camil, I hope you got my PM, and I hope my D got my e-mail, I'm not sure she has, because I haven't gotten an away message.</p>
<p>Anyway, don't beat yourself up. I haven't posted this, but from your first post I thought that your feelings might just be a case of natural let-down after the party is over. Admissions has taken up a lot of energy for a long time, and can be a lot more fun than actually making a decision!
Go back to your original list, all your schools had some things in common, but in other ways were very, very different. I understand that, my D's list had some of the same combos. Now is the time to go back over what you are looking for in a school, and try to decide what is most important, then compare your admitted schools to that list.
Can you visit? Preferably travelling alone, to mimic what you would do as a student?
ACcept one, accept one waitlist as well if you really want a particular school, then decide on a gap year.</p>
<p>Camelia, </p>
<p>It hurts not to be accepted to your top choice school, but you've been accepted to some wonderful colleges with lots of aid as an international. This is a meaningful accomplishment, and I hope that at some point soon you'll be able to feel proud about it. There really is a crapshoot element to college admissions, especially for an international student, being pretty sure that a student of a certain caliber will be accepted to a wonderful college, but not being able to predict which wonderful college it will be. </p>
<p>With Dartmouth, my impression is that Animal House is from a long gone generation of students. My kids have friends there who are quite intellectual, some of whom don't drink at all, and all of whom are extremely happy socially and academically. Please visit the schools that have accepted you and really want you there with an open mind again before deciding what to do.</p>
<p>Please also take the advice offered above to let things go for a couple of weeks without making a decision. The mom in me is thinking that after some of the things you've had to contend with during high school, it would be great for you to be on your own in a nurturing, stimulating but stable and supportive environment for four years starting, say, yesterday.</p>
<p>Please keep posting. Nobody thinks less of you for sharing your feelings and concerns.</p>
<p>a gap year, if used wisely, can be a very positive experience. if i would were you i would do some very serious soul searching to make sure this is not all about being rejected by princeton and considering applying there again next year. you would very likely have the same result next year. whether you know it or not you have some wonderful educational opportunities in front of you.</p>
<p>I'm really regretting that I posted this thread. I should have accepted the rejection graciously; instead, I've been immature and melodramatic. I'm incredibly sorry for having wasted everyone's time here. :(</p>
<p>Camelia, I don't think anyone who has been reading this thread feels you've been either "immature" or "melodramatic". Far from it...throughout the year, you've displayed incredible maturity and insight, and this thread is no different. I think all any of the posters have been suggesting is that you step away from all the turmoil for a bit, just in case the Princeton denial might be clouding your judgment. Not that it IS clouding your judgment, just that it MIGHT be.</p>
<p>The one issue I haven't seen fully addressed is your visa issue. I know nothing about visas, but it seems to me that is the one area that could make or break your gap year option. Is that a fair assessment? If so, I would step away from the whole college thing and spend some time finding answers to your visa status...whether you go to college next year or decide on a gap year.</p>
<p>Please don't ever feel you've wasted anyone's time...whether you realize it or not, you've been "adopted" by a whole host of CCers, and as one of "ours", it's impossible for you to waste our collective time.</p>
<p>I've talked to my dad about all of this, and he agrees with many of you that the rejection is probably clouding my judgment. I'm still very interested in volunteering abroad or working for a local organization, but I'm not sure I'm ready to go through this entire process again next year, especially since the results are likely to be identical to or worse than this year's ("omg you guys, is volunteering for two months in Africa with money you earned yourself a HOOK lol?!??!!"). I didn't even care that much about rankings, reputation, or career options when I applied to Princeton... I just really wanted to go to school there, which made this feel much more like a romantic rejection than any objective reflection of my ability to Be Successful In Life. I knew logically that I'd probably be rejected, but because I was so emotionally attached, it was still a huge disappointment.</p>
<p>That being said, I am making plans to go to the accepted student weekends of each of the schools that accepted me -- in fact, I'm even looking forward to it. ;) I'm still a bit upset, but I suppose I'm beginning to put it in perspective. </p>
<p>cangel, thanks for the PM, and I'm sorry I haven't responded -- I'm going out with my family right now, but I'll try to get back to you tonight. :)</p>
<p>Camellia - it's your self doubt that makes me say you should take a gap year. You are highly intelligent - at least on the verbal scale. This gives you the capacity to articulate any position as possible. This may dog you all your life - says Alu from experience. The gap year could provide you with some grounded, certain experiences.</p>
<p>That's just my opinion. You have been accepted to several phenomenal schools and should do whatever feels right to you.</p>
<p>Don't worry Camil, I'm just having some computer problems, and I wanted to be sure you got it, best of luck to you, I think you will make a great decision. AND, everyone is entitled to a little melodrama from time to time, it is part of what makes us human and about 17 years old.</p>
<p>I don't think it's melodramatic at all. This is all so incredibly stressful and sometimes it's hard to see through to an ending different than what was imagined. Even when you rationally know you might end up with a different choice, your heart was in Princeton. Give yourself time to process that and move on. Fate is bringing you somewhere else and thankfully your somewhere elses are pretty great options.</p>
<p>Some of the things you're considering for a gap year (service work in Africa, for instance) could certainly be done through college, should you decide to attend one of your very fine choices :)</p>
<p>Since I'm on break right now, I haven't been completely up-to-date on all my friends' college decisions. Hearing about their waitlists and rejections, some of which are shocking and difficult to explain, has been a much-needed reality check. I've been accepted to three amazing schools -- all of which, I remember now, I had very good reasons for applying to -- and I'm only able to attend one, while my best friend since middle school, an American citizen with similar numbers, voice auditions, a gift for writing, and an impressive record of activities, finds herself backed into a corner, and she's not the only one. I feel guilty for ever complaining, and so humbled.</p>
<p>(I wrote this in my online journal: "I'm done being maudlin, irrational, and insensitive. I've had such incredible luck in this ridiculous process that I'm almost embarrassed. So many of these decisions seem to lack either fairness or rationale, and I really don't understand what happened. I know that anything I say now will sound hollow or condescending, so I'll try not to say too much, but I really am thinking about you (if I were religious, I would call it praying). Much love, and I really am sorry.")</p>
<p>Then at the same time, I look at us and at my school, where students are able to say things like "we'll just both go to Michigan and transfer the hell out" (we have a 93% acceptance rate, and we are out of state). For most students at my high school, the University of Michigan is a safety school -- well, except for the guy who really wanted to attend, who was waitlisted.</p>
<p>I'm afraid I'm not very structured, and I don't know what point I'm trying to make, but I'm definitely regaining some perspective (because I do feel as if I had it at some point). Writing this, I can't feel sad or even disappointed -- just thankful.</p>
<p>That's our girl. Bucking up. Well done.</p>
<p>Maybe you can meet up with sybbie's D when you're up there in NH? If a girl from Tribeca (?) can fall in love with Hanover, maybe an intl from Wash DC can too? Get online and check through the course offerings. Open up a spreadsheet and try to map out the classes you want to take over four years. Hopefully you will get giddy over the possiblities.</p>
<p>Princeton didn't choose you this time--but I'm sure you made it to the fence. The ball just didn't fall your way--on that call. On getting aid from other great schools, you've been blessed--as you now realize.</p>
<p>Promise us one thing--come back next year and help the kids who will be initially crushed by their results.</p>
<p>I think that those who consider a gap year probably should take one. If you have a whole gap year plan set out, then go do it; 1 year less of the real world won't hurt. I couldn't imagine taking one myself, because I can't wait for college and want to start ASAP, but you sound like you would greatly benefit from one instead of wasting it like I know I would :D</p>
<p>I sent you a PM</p>
<p>I remember reading some of your other posts and you really had your heart set on Princeton. I think you made getting into that school too important. As if that school was the only perfect place for you. I remember reading that you had not heard from any schools and when you finally got into your first one you were so relieved and so happy. Still, all your energies must have been focused on Princeton. I think you put so much hope into getting in, that you are drained. The disappointment of not achieving that dream is overshadowing all the wonderful opportunities that are being offered to you. You say that you want something different than the privileged life you have lived, but Princeton would have in many ways been an extension of that. I am surprised that you would have considered that school a perfect fit for you, because the way you describe yourself, I picture you at a school more like Columbia which tends to attract a larger number of international students and students of different backgrounds and cultures. I just think you would have found a school like that more interesting.
I am not sure that I would recommend taking a gap year. I know of someone who felt similar to you who took a gap year traveling and working abroad, and I saw her shortly before she was about to leave and all her friends went onto college. She looked so unhappy. The reality was that she was drained from the experience of not getting into what she thought was her first choice. She did not want to go to any of the schools she was accepted to, no matter how wonderful. She ewas so lonely after the first six months that she returned and started school the second semeter. She is very happy there. She was lucky that she was able to defer her offer and then come six months earlier. If you did take a gap year I think that without any agreement to go to a school you might lose your direction.
I think you should visit all the schools you have been accepted to and stay over in the dorms. You should pick one and give it a try. If you feel that it is not a good fit for you, then you could always transfer or take time off.
The reality is that most people do not get into the school they were rejected from after a gap year. Most take the gap year and then reapply to a different list of schools. Bear in mind that applications are due by mid December. Most people do not accomplish that much in the first six months of their gap year to make the difference in their decision resulting in an acceptance at the same school they had previously appiled to. Most people take a gap year because they did not get into any colleges or got into one they are very unhappy with. They then take a gap year and re-evaluate their list coming up with schools that they have a better chance of getting accepted to that they would be happy at.
I really think you should pick a school that you think would be wonderful and that you could see your self, and sign a contract for that school, and then take the summer to do the types of things you are thinking about to clear you mind and get a fresh perspective.</p>