Am I hurting myself?

Parents Forum
1

So this year is my last year is Senior Year. I have a 4.1 unweighted gpa and I’m student number 16 out of 515 of my class. I’m still taking a few rigorous courses: APES, PreCalculus, and Dual Credit English. I’m also in AVID to get ready for college. I’ve taken it 3 years and this will be my 4th year. However, i was thinking of getting out and go back to newspaper class. The reason why becaus my teacher from last year left us, but she told us she’ll check on us monthly to see if we’re on the right track. It makes me a little depressed.

And I feel like I’m not doing so well in Senior year. I’m mean I’m not failing any off my classes that’s for sure. I just have homework everyday. And last year I had a panic attack. My parents put me on thearpy 4 months ago. I just can’t take it anymore. All these college deadlines, scholarships, and homework is making me down. And everyday I pray for a good day. My AVID teacher from last year asked me if I consider community college. I would like that except there’s a community college near me that has no dorm. I want to apply to other colleges that have dorms for me. So I feel trapped everyday, full of everything in my mind. What should I do?

2

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still applying to universities but I’ll also apply to community colleges. The reason why is because my older sister is telling me that I need to save money rather than spending, especially since I am undecided in my major. I’m trying to determine whether I should do a science in general or a writing career (maybe journalism or brodcast journalism) or computer science. The truth is, maybe I won’t get much FAFSA since my sister is telling me. She’s not trying to bring me down. She’s just being a sister who had past experience with CC. And she transferred to a private university two years ago. She isn’t stressed out like me.

3

So you are stressed out because you need to think about applying to college, do homework, get good grades, and are worried that you might not get any financial aid. I sense that you are letting things get to you becasue you have a lot to think about and don’t know where to start.

So, be proactive. Look at the Net Price Calculator for a college of interest. Just google it for the college of your choice. State universities will be less expensive than private ones. You will probably need your parents help to put in the numbers, but it should give you a good idea of how much you will need to pay for college. Much better than your sister telling you something which she has no real idea about. Also, you don’t need to be decided on a major yet, and that has zero to do with college expenses. You don’t declare a major until your second year of college. Your sister loves you, but her advice isn’t great. :slight_smile:

Be proactive. Start looking at colleges of interest, where your grades and SAT or ACT test scores give you a good chance of getting in. If you are a really good student you might get merit aid at some colleges, which can help a lot with costs. Have you made an appointment with your school counselor to figure out what colleges might work for you, and what you need to start doing in terms of applications, etc…? If not, make an appointment now. If your counselor is too busy or not helpful, there are many college checklists and all kidns of free advice at your library or on
line.

Be proactive. Get your homework done. Study for tests. If you study, you do well, right? Not that tricky. And guess what? Many high school seniors are going through the same thing as you, and they have to get through it. So do you. Colleges want to see good grades, so this is not the time to let them slip. I don’t know what AVID is, but if you no longer enjoy it, drop it, unless it is beneficial in some way. Take newspaper, because you should do something you enjoy in your senior year.

Make a list of what needs to be done, and take steps to do it. Don’t look at the whole list and think there is,no way to get it all done. Do one thing, and cross it off. You will gradually cross all,the things off the list and will have a more relaxing time, but unitl those things are done, it’s important for,yiu to take control of your situation. Be proactive, take steps to get things done, and you will feel a lot happier. Good luck.

4

Some schools give 4.3 for an A+. It is possible.

5

Some thoughts come to my mind …

  1. Get real data. Don’t go by what your sister said…like @Lindagaf said, look at some colleges of interest and find the Net Price Calculator. Sit down with your parents and see what it comes up with. Then talk to them about how much they can afford for college.

  2. What are your SAT/ACT scores? You can get scholarships if you have good scores…Other ways to reduce college costs.

+Try to get as much college credit while in HS…then it is usually free or very low cost. For example, AP Classes (and doing well on AP tests), Dual Enrollment at your local Community College. Make sure the colleges you are interested will take that credit.

+Some states let students in the upper 20% go to 2 years of Community College for free…then go to an in-state public college for the other 2 years

+Go to a college that gives you automatic scholarships based on GPA/SAT/ACT:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships.html#latest

+Depending on your parent’s income//savings, you may be eligible for need-based aid.

+Use the Supermatch tool (look over on the left of this site) You put in your scores and what you want in a school, and it gives you ideas:
http://www.collegeconfidential.com/college_search/
For Merit scholarship opportunities check: “I’m interested in schools where I would be well above average, to increase my financial aid opportunities”. This will allow you to find school where you might get merit scholarships opportunies.

  1. It is fantastic that you are getting therapy… sound to me like you may have social anxiety. My daughter has that, and medication has made a tremendous difference.

My daughter has anxiety too…it is absolutely fantastic that you have discovered this in HS and that you are getting it addressed. My DD went from not being able to perform in choir in front of the school before meds, to volunteering to sing over the intercom to the entire school after.

One thing we did when choosing schools is to take anxiety into account…She chose a school about an hour from home…far enough to feel freedom, but near enough that we could help out or she could come home if necessary.

We also looked at the orientation program…the one she picked had a Welcome Week where you did activities with people on your floor, had a Community Advisor so you had a peer mentor if you need it, had a service that delivered prescriptions to the campus.

6

I had many honors since freshmen and sophomore year and two AP classes since last year (US History and English Language; I even got a 3 in my US History Test)

7

For low income /first gen high achievers , it’s best NOT to apply to community college because you lose any shot at a full tuition/full ride scholarship by being a transfer.
It’s best to apply to your state flagship 's honors college as well as meet-need colleges.
Is your school lower performing (guessing so due to avid)? What’s the average act/sat, % who go to a 4-year college?
What’s your efc?
If you run the NPC on Vassar, Grinnell, and Pomona, what type of results do you get?
Have you taken the act or the sat? Are you retaking?

*AVID

8

" I feel trapped everyday, full of everything in my mind." - unfortunately, it will be MUCH MUCH more in college. The academic level is way higher than in HS, you will have to take care of yourself and the living conditions (in dorms) will be much much worse than you have now. Are you ready for college? Maybe you need to discuss this with your parents, GC?

9

I thought college is more flexible. You pick the classes you need to take (basics and major intended) read the book, do the homework, and all that.

10

I just find high school overwhelming because it’s more of an everyday thing. My sister says imagine college.

11

What makes you feel trapped?
Are you afraid of going to college?
Do you feel pressured by your classes? By family/neighborhood expectations?
Do you sleep 7-9 hours a night?
If you need help with college, this website is great. All the veterans here will help out to make sure you don’t forget anything and get it all done.

12

It sounds like you come from a community where going to college is not necessarily the norm. The process can seem overwhelming, but believe me, you are not alone. Senior year is stressful for everyone. There are many colleges in this country many of which are very generous with their aid. If you have SAT or ACT scores you should have an idea of what colleges to target. Run the net price calculators (NPC) for some of them. Some private colleges can be very generous with both need and merit aid and may even be cheaper than the state university system. There are people on this forum who know a lot about merit and financial aid. Check out the threads. http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/ and http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/

College may be harder than high school, but you may find that it is easier in some ways. You can take courses that are more interesting and usually you only take four or five at a time. Don’t worry that you don’t know what to major in. As a freshman you can take a writing course and a science course or two and see what you seem best suited for. You will almost certainly need to fill general education requirements wherever you end up. Just try to make sure you take anything that is a prerequisite for courses you need to take in likely majors.

We are all here to help you.

13

"I thought college is more flexible. You pick the classes you need to take (basics and major intended) read the book, do the homework, and all that. " - Nope. Many are faced with the huge gap between HS academic level and the one at college. Good number cannot stay on their chosen path because they are simply NOT prepared to work much harder at college. “I just find high school overwhelming because it’s more of an everyday thing.”- More of the “everyday thing” at college, much more responsibilities, many have the “roommate” situation that even forces some to move back home and attend the local college because they realized that “oh, I did not know that I actually cannot live in a dorm”, I personally know at least 2 people like this.
Did you think about attending a local college and let you family to take care of you while living at home? It maybe a better option for you.

14

If either of your parents went to college, then you should first seek out their advice on all of this. Second, talk to your high school’s guidance counselor about your general situation.

A few random thoughts that I have about your questions:

  1. College IS more responsibility than high school.
  2. However, once you get INTO college, you no longer have the stress of “OMG I have to get straight A’s in order to get into a good school.”
  3. BUT if you want to go to graduate school, then you should work on maintaining a good GPA in college.
  4. Aside from grad school, your post-college employment prospects are better if you have a good GPA.
  5. If you don’t need merit-based scholarships/financial aid, then that removes some of the college GPA stress.
  6. True - you DO get to determine your own schedule & classes in college. BUT if you want to graduate in 4 years, sometimes depending on your major, you have to plan ahead a little bit and be strategic about what classes you take during which semester. some classes, for example, might only be offered once a year and they might be required for your major in order for you to graduate.

Re: Community college vs a 4-year institution:

  1. Community college can save you a lot of $$ on tuition. But most CC’s do not have dorms. You’d have to make your own living arrangements if you won’t live at home while going to CC.
  2. CC students are largely commuter students.
  3. Class sizes at CC are often smaller in general ed classes compared to large lecture courses at 4-year schools.
  4. CC can be a really excellent way to transition from high school to 4-year university.
  5. BUT you have to be thinking from the get to at CC about where you want to transfer to finish your BA/BS and you need to consider that university’s general ed requirements, along with any specific major general ed requirements for when you transfer. At the same time, you need to consider all of that if you are at a 4-year institution as well, so you don’t end up in college for 6 years.

Re: stress levels in general in high school or college & how to manage it:

  1. If you’re feeling really overwhelmed with the large amount of work that you have to get done, then make a plan for achieving it in bite sized chunks.
  2. for example, if you have a big paper in class X due in 1 month, then write down a list of tasks/“to do’s” that will help you get to completing the paper.
  3. Apply that same logic towards your college applications. Make a list of the schools you are thinking of applying to. Plan on doing some research to figure out which schools are reaches, which are targets, and which are safeties. Then include in the college list each school’s Early Action application date, regular application date, along with any pertinent financial aid/scholarship application due dates.

THEN you work backward from those dates (I’m a project manager by trade, so I do this sort of planning all day long)… Here’s an example:

  • University X's main application due date is 3/1.
  • University X's main financial aid due date is also 3/1.
  • Certain merit scholarship apps at University X are due by 2/1. Let's say that you decide to apply for the merit scholarships, just for the sake of argument.
  • By ___ date this Fall, complete research on the merit scholarship application. Determine if you will need any letters of recommendation in order to apply for the scholarship. Figure out which test scores & transcripts you'll need to have sent to the university and by what date that information must be received. Keep track of this information & dates for EACH SCHOOL YOU ARE APPLYING TO!
  • By ___ date this Fall, complete any application essays that you will need for the University X application. If the school doesn't require an essay, then you're all set and you don't have to worry about that.
  • When applying for merit scholarships (if you're going to do this), pay attention to what minimum GPA the university requires in order for you to retain that scholarship over the 4 years. Consider this when picking a major & when deciding whether or not to take that merit scholarship. Some schools require a 3.0, yet others require a 3.5 even for science majors.

For example, at our house at home, we have a big white board in the kitchen. And throughout the school year for as long as I can remember, on this white board, we put stuff on this white board like:
a. big due dates for school assignments that are coming up (my kids write down the school stuff, not me)
b. when the next test/quiz is for subject X
c. upcoming days over the next 2 months that school is not in session
d. family/extracurricular activities on upcoming weekends that we need to plan for/be aware of in case a big school project comes up so the kids can work on the school project ahead of time and not scramble around at the last minute.

You could do something similar using Google Calendar, a day planner, or just write it down in a note book. Or use MS Excel to track it all in a spreadsheet. Whatever works for you.

** It is OK to go Undecided to a 4-year college! **
This is largely what general ed classes are for. BUT…consider this…SOME majors at SOME colleges are impacted, meaning that you get into the “pre-major” first and in order to get into the major as a junior/senior, you need to have a certain GPA in certain pre-requisite classes for that major. So just consider that if the majors you’re considering at colleges are impacted because you’ll just need to keep an eye on that. And if all else fails, you can always make up time by taking classes during the summer session.

15

Do you have any ACT or SAT scores yet?

If so, you may want to look at the big scholarship lists:

http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/
http://competitivefulltuition.yolasite.com/

16

Yes I do have test scores, however my ACT isn’t as high as SAT. SAT is about 930-950 but getting at least 1000 is my goal

17

Don’t let people (your sister and some on this site) scare you. Yes, college is challenging, but if you’re 16th in your class, you already have the study habits you need to succeed.

And you are right that college is more flexible. You will not be in class all day long, and you’ll meet fewer times per week. But this means you will need more self-discipline to budget your timemail, because each class will have a heavy work load. However, you’ll only be taking 4 or 5 classes.

My son was terrified that he’d have to take some class he hated forever, but that could not be farther from the truth. You may have to take 1 or 2 classes you hate in order to fill your distribution requirements, but they’ll only last a semester and then you’re done.

18

wrt SAT: Ok. Are you prepping using Khan Academy? Are you registered for the October and November test dates?
Some colleges are test-optional, too.
See if your school library or town library have the books SAT English by Erica Melzer, and some prep books for math. Target areas that you know but often make mistakes on. Ask the library or your school if there are free classes for the SAT.

Are you African American, Hispanic/Latino/a, Asian, Native American?
What state do you live in?

It seems that AVID would help you navigate college, since that’s the point, and would thus decrease your stress. Is your new AVID teacher less good than your former one?

19

You should also see if you can qualify for Questbridge.

20

^ OP would need to increase test scores substantially for Questbridge an with a deadline 2 weeks from now, it’s not possible.
But test optional, meet-need schools should definitely be in the mix along with state flagship(s) honors programs and a variety of good colleges that may be interested in OP’s profile.