Am I overshooting?

Chance Me / Match Me!
1

<p>My stats are as follows</p>

<p>GPA 3.88 weighted; 3.6 unweighted (School only gives 3 percentage points for aps and 2 for honors)
Class Rank: 6th of 339
my school's pretty competitve for public school</p>

<p>SAT: 730M and 730V</p>

<p>Physics:780, Writing:700, Math 2: 770</p>

<p>APs: Euro 5, Music Theory 5, Physics B 5, English Lang. 5
This year I'm taking English Lit, Physics C, Calc BC, French, and Economics (should all be 5s)
as well as a RIT course in the Principles of Engineering</p>

<p>My school offers way more APs than anyone human could take; I've taken them in every core subject except American History, I took regents instead. My schedule is still one of the most demanding at my school though.</p>

<p>ECs:
Private lessons in Guitar for 8 years, spent a week of summer at Ithaca College for Guitar Camp
Played French Horn for 8 years
Played club soccer forever; Jv 9&10th
10-12
Tri-M (music honors)- Web page editor
Student Council- member, leadership conference rep last year
Masterminds- league champs past two years
Ultimate Frisbee team- co-founder and co-captain
Pit Orchestra
Jazz Ensemble
Wind Ensemble
11-12
History Club- planned and ran a Renaissance Fair last year
12
Varsity Chorale
Jazz Choir Accompanist
Math League-member
NHS: President, opened a student-run tutoring and proof-reading center in our school</p>

<p>Awards:
Rensselaer Medal - most promising science student ($60.000 scholarship to RPI)
AIME participant
Bunch of outstanding academic acheivement crap for a high average from school
ACS Chemistry Acheivement
Judge's Choice at Berkelee Jazz Festival</p>

<p>I'm applying to
Safes: U of Rochester, RPI
Matches/Reaches: Cornell, WashU in St Louis, Carnegie Mellon and Brown (hopefully make it into one of these)</p>

<p>I'm applying places as possible physics major; or biomed E and physics double major</p>

<p>My essay is as follows, I'd really appreciate comments:
As I’ve become increasingly involved with science in the last several years, I’ve begun to see a problem with how much our society differentiates between science and art. Those who have fused the two by combining art’s creativity with the scientific process have most greatly impacted our world. Why, then, do we segregate them so? Scientists are inaccurately perceived as number-crunching man-machines who must forfeit exploring their own humanity to focus on better understanding the most technical aspects of our world. This perception is lethal to the future minds of science. If there are any minds that should be encouraged to think openly and creatively, it should be those that belong to our future scientists. Consider the scientists who have filled the world with the most awe, someone like Einstein, a man who formulated the theory of relativity without any data. It’s impossible to grasp the amount of creativity needed to originate such an idea.
One must realize science is little different than art at its most fundamental level. I define art as the exploration of a question through creative expression in a medium. Science explores questions about our universe by using accepted scientific methods to collect and interpret data: its medium. A future writer may attend school and master language just as a future scientist can attend school and master science; but, they must possess creativity to express and use that knowledge if they desire a self-directed career as I do.
Once I decided that I wanted pursue science and fully realized how vital creativity is to good science, I became instantly grateful for my situation. I’ve spent the last three years in a high school that has allowed me to indulge my eagerness to learn and explore. Yes, I’ve taken science courses every year, and yes, their content is and will continue to be crucial. More important though are those experiences I’ve had and courses I’ve taken that have exposed me to great art, music, and writing, nurturing my own creativity. While the former has taught me basic scientific content, the latter will guide my future once, as a scientist, I have reached the point where I discover new content beyond the realm of the concretely known.
At the same time, I recognize the necessary preparation for a career in a scientific field is highly technical and heavily focused compared to the preparation needed for a career in the arts. Learning physics is very different than learning how to play guitar. In physics creativity doesn’t really apply until some level of mastery is achieved; whereas, creativity and mastery of guitar don’t necessarily share a similar relationship. I realize that being creative will not serve as a substitute for rigorous technical work at college, but that it will compliment my goal to become a successful, innovative scientist. By striving to wed creativity with the scientific process, I hope that my career will be like one of a painter who discovers new colors with which to paint.</p>

<p>Thanks for any input.</p>

2

<p>buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuump</p>

3

<p>No. Not at all. I think that it would be helpful to find some match schools though. Your safeties are sure shots, but the other 4 are reaches. Why not get something in between in there? How about Carnegie Mellon, NYU, Michigan, George Washington?</p>

4

<p>Well, CMU is on there, but other than for WashU, I wouldn't like to leave the northeast.</p>

5

<p>you are solid hoss, keep on keepin on. but remember, college doesnt make you who you are.. ha good luck</p>

6

<p>0h and yea you should apply to u of michigan too!</p>

7

<p>you seem solid, though you need more matches</p>

8

<p>well the thing is, I really like RPI and they gave me money, so I'm not so concerned about matches because RPI is basically a lock. If I don't get in to my reaches, I'd be more than happy at RPI. Any suggestions for schools in the northeast?</p>

9

<p>Any one have anything to say about the essay?</p>

10

<p>Somebody, please?</p>

11

<p>bump..........</p>

12

<p>What is the prompt for your essay? It's all right, but not very personal. It seems more like you are writing what you think the adcom wants to hear instead of being yourself. I'm not saying that being interested in science isn't being yourself (I am also very interested in science), but it sounds almost more like a report rather than a college admissions essay. It is good, it would probably be really good as a second essay to a college, but it needs to be even more personal.</p>

13

<p>i chose the topic of your choice thing option on the common app</p>

14

<p>buuuuuuuuuuuump</p>

15

<p>I understand that you chose the "topic of your choice " prompt. But what is it? What was your topic? "What I believe " tell us very little. How little ? Glad you asked. I'll show you. From your essay the following facts appear ,and no others:</p>

<p>1) you have decided to pursue a self-directed career in science (not that interesting as the person reading this essay sees well over half the admitted students with a declared major change that major at least once)</p>

<p>2)you took at least one course in art ,music, and writing ( a fact readily apparent from your transcript). That's it. </p>

<p>( Well, I can almost confidently infer that you play the guitar) </p>

<p>What do you think an admissions rep could use from this essay that would help him or her identify you from the faceless droves of applicants as "the" student they need to round out a perfect class? The essay itself? Unlikely.</p>

<p>Your essay is "fine" but it is not persuasive. As the earlier poster said, it reads more like a report on the amalgam of art and science.</p>

<p>Every essay , no matter what it appears to ask, is ultimately asking the same Q-"why you?" Not, "why Einstein?". You've convinced me I should enroll Einstein, now let's see if you can convince me to enroll you. </p>

<p>P.S.Convince me by showing me. Don't say I'm passionate about science, give vignettes from your life that show the passion.</p>