Am I stupid for not choosing SDSU?

So, I got accepted to SDSU (San Diego State University). Not for my academics because I was originally denied for that, but I am going to be a dance major so I passed my dance audition which will appeal the initial rejection. I find that weird and disorganized…I mean why they didn’t figure the audition results out prior to giving me any sort of answer is beyond me, but I’ve seen countless examples of disorganization on SDSU’s behalf so it’s not a surprise.

Anyway, despite getting accepted, I would much prefer to go to my local community college (San Diego Mesa) for a couple reasons. One being that the dance program at SDSU is sub-par. From my understanding and what I’ve observed, there will be no solid technique training. There also only two genres offered: ballet and modern. I am majoring in dance to open a studio and become a dance teacher, and to improve upon my skills in order to do so. How can I become a versatile, well rounded dancer/teacher when I’m only studying two different genres of dance? My local community college isn’t anywhere near as disorganized, they have so many levels and styles of dance to choose from, and I love the overall feel of all the staff and the campus.

It mind sound like a no-brainer that since I obviously love Mesa and hate SDSU, that I should go to Mesa. However, just about everyone in my life has berated me over passing on SDSU. My mom has judged me the most, even though my family isn’t contributing a single dime for my college tuition so as far as I’m concerned, she needs to keep her mouth shut and at least try to be supportive. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. Her opinions are so destructive to my self esteem at this point. Others have also agreed that I should “really reconsider SDSU because it would look way more impressive on my resume.” This might be true, but all I’d be doing is paying for the name. Why pay $7000 for four years to limit myself to only ballet and modern when I can pay $1000 for the first couple years to really grow as a dancer and study ballet, modern, contemporary, jazz, and tap?! I have no clue why everyone wants to judge me so harshly for my decision.

This is why I’m wondering…am I making a bad choice? Am I stupid for choosing community college over SDSU?

No, you are not stupid at all. It seems like you’ve thought it all out and you should make the decision that you feel is best for you. Anyway, after two years at a community college you can transfer somewhere that has a better dance program than SDSU.

I agree with Emsmom1. It sounds like you have thought this through very well. It sounds like for what you want to do the community college is both better and less expensive.

I do think that you should keep your grades up in the academic courses (assuming that you will be taking academic courses in addition to dance). For example, this will provide options in case you decide that dance is not your future career. Dance or music can be a person’s passion without necessarily being a career, and there are related careers that require academic skills.

The way that I would look at this is that the community college is a good choice for the next couple of years. This allows you to work on your dance and take some academic courses and do well on them, and it is economical. This is a good start towards whatever you will be doing next. None of us have the rest of our life written in stone when we are still a teenager. For right now, if you do what you want to do then you will do it well, and doing it well will look good on your resume.

One of the problems with this country is that we devalue our community colleges and overvalue colleges which charge outrageous tuition fees. I wish every US citizen, and particularly the contributors to College Confidential, had the opportunity to attend an Ivy League university for at least a semester, because the valuable lesson they would learn is that, for the most part, the teaching at Ivy League schools is no better, and frequently worse, than your average community college.

I know a number of people from California who went to Ivy League schools on the east coast, graduated, moved back to California, took courses at their local community colleges, for either personal growth or career-related reasons, and said the courses were just as good as what they’d taken at their Ivy League schools.

It’s sounds to me you have a much better understanding of the dance programs at these two schools than your mother. “Why pay $7000 for four years to limit myself to only ballet and modern when I can pay $1000 for the first couple years to really grow as a dancer and study ballet, modern, contemporary, jazz, and tap?” is an excellent question. Maybe you could direct that question to some people in the dance field for their expert opinions.

I think your mother needs to learn to be less judgemental. However, your question “am I stupid…” is also highly judgemental. I would do some reading on how to try to be less judgemental towards yourself, and also try to realize that your mother’s opinions can only be destructive to your self-esteem if you allow them to be.

Keep in mind parents (and friends) like to pass judgements on colleges based on little information, and one person’s poorly informed comment about a college may turn us off to that college for no valid reason. The people who are berating you today over passing on SDSU may tell you years from now they would’ve supported your decision either way.

In the same way that being exposed to many different styles of dance might make you a better dancer, being exposed to a variety of opinions about colleges might make you a more informed and confident college consumer.

One of the problems with this country is that we devalue our community colleges and overvalue colleges which charge outrageous tuition fees. I know a number of people from California who went to Ivy League schools on the east coast, graduated, moved back to California, took courses at their local community colleges, for either personal growth or career-related reasons, and said the courses were just as good as what they’d taken at their Ivy League schools.

It’s sounds to me you have a much better understanding of the dance programs at these two schools than your mother. “Why pay $7000 for four years to limit myself to only ballet and modern when I can pay $1000 for the first couple years to really grow as a dancer and study ballet, modern, contemporary, jazz, and tap?” is an excellent question. Maybe you could direct that question to some people in the dance field for their expert opinions.

I think your mother needs to learn to be less judgemental. However, your question “am I stupid…” is also highly judgemental. I would do some reading on how to try to be less judgemental towards yourself, and also try to realize that your mother’s opinions can only be destructive to your self-esteem if you allow them to be.

Keep in mind parents (and friends) like to pass judgements on colleges based on little information, and one person’s poorly informed comment about a college may turn us off to that college for no valid reason. The people who are berating you today over passing on SDSU may tell you years from now they would’ve supported your decision either way.

In the same way that being exposed to many different styles of dance might make you a better dancer, being exposed to a variety of opinions about colleges might make you a more informed and confident college consumer.

Sounds to me like the CC is a great option. In fact, for your goal, you may not need a four-year degree at all. Take your dance classes, and some business, accounting, and entrepeneurial (I can never spell that pesky word) classes, and you may be good to go. The money you save on college could be some seed money for starting your business. But do as others have suggested and keep your grades up so you can transfer if you later decided to do so.

About your mom, sadly, parents get caught up in myths too - like CC’s being somehow less good - and often want to brag on their kids, and gain their esteem from their kids accomplishments. Your mom should brag on how smart you are to not want to waste money, and for having done the research to make a wise decision. Maybe work on, though, having more compassion for your mom (and for SDSU LOL). Sounds like she’s not very perfect (like the rest of us moms LOL), but probably she is doing her best given her background or issues. Oh, and having compassion does not mean one has to have any particular kind of relationship with a person, or put up with crap, though.

Good luck!!!

Does it make any sense to enroll at both?? Lots of SDSU kids do and use the dual enrollment approach to ensure they get required classes on their schedule. What if you enrolled at both to leverage the dance speciality at Mesa and the overall academics at SDSU.

Go to Mesa for two years, it’s a great school and the dance department is amazing. Maybe transfer to SDSU to finalize your degree? I completely understand your logic, you’ll be saving money and it won’t be at the expense of your education.