<p>Interesting, but that happened at the USFA Summer Nationals when a parent approach a UPenn coach about her daughter----who is an excellent student, incredible scores and was a diversity recruit,but she didn’t come from the fencing club that seems to have a pipeline connection to the school. The coach flat out told the parent, her child was not on his radar and that while she had an impressive fencing and academic background he was not interested. Honest, yes; to the point, very; discouraging to the parent, no doubt; but should parent cry over nothing? I say move on, and go where you’re wanted and quit begging to be accepted where you aren’t wanted.</p>
<p>Schoolhouse, no one is begging for anything. Plenty of great options, no need to beg. It’s just a money thing. And this coach is still actively recruiting her. We certainly aren’t chasing after anyone. Geez.</p>
<p>ouch - isn’t this site precisely to hash out these kinds of issues? as it happens, i know an athlete who was in very similar situation last year: one of hyp schools told them they were 4th on a list with 3 openings. they too were waiting for test scores from other recruits. sure enough, the scores did not come through or those recruits went elsewhere because the kid got in! there were other great offers available but just like coaches can keep kids waiting, the kids can also stall with the coaches --without dishonesty. let’s face it, everyone playing the same game and trying to get the best recruit/school. have your athlete keep number 2’s interest strong but don’t give up on 1 just yet. send in all materials for apps to both but put off the ED or SCEA option as long as possible until you hear more news. odds are, all those girls will not be able to raise scores and may also have other school interests.</p>
<p>lioness4, that’s exactly what we’ve been thinking. We are ready for anything at this point, and hoping for the best. Plenty of good back-up options ready to go, but hoping that #1 or #2 schools work out. Thanks for the encouragement and for relating a story with a happy ending : ). The recruiter at school #1 is new, so I really don’t think he has a sense of how it will likely play out, and of course neither do we.</p>
<p>reading another thread it occurred to me that you need to be educated regarding the timeline of your particular sport. in the sport i discussed, it is not uncommon for LL offers to come in october of senior year --up to the nov. 1 ED deadline (or later since it’s also a nescac sport, which is ED nov. 15). some sports are wrapped up before junior year so clearly there’s a wide range; in one sport you are bottom of the heap, if you don’t know going into senior year and, in other sports, the top players still have to wait until mid-october. you need to know how high your athlete is in her class’ pool --academically and athletically, and work backward from there. best, although tough, thing to do is maintain really enthusiastic interactions with all interested and viable schools and prepare ALL the apps so they’re ready when offer comes in. i would strongly advise you to keep in mind that a LL should be in hand a bit before the ED deadline so you can apply elsewhere if it doesn’t come in. keep in-touch with the coach to get updates on her list. good luck!</p>
<p>Ok, this process has become incredibly confusing and aggravating. Here is the current situation. D went on OV in the “top group of recruits” at an Ivy. No offer was made. Ok. She loved the school, but was surprised that the coach “interrogated” her and said he was “rooting” for her, and needed more video. She told him the school was her first choice, and that she wasn’t going on any other OV’s. She is looking seriously at other schools without her sport, but didn’t mention that. She did not hear anything from this school for 2 weeks after the visit. </p>
<p>Ironically, the coach contacted her the day she had a meeting with her club coach to quit her sport. She had become completely fed up with the lack of communication in recruiting and other people holding all the cards. And club takes so much of her time (and our money), that if she’s not doing the sport in college, it isn’t worth it to continue. She can still compete on her HS team. </p>
<p>Anyway, she answered the college coach politely. The college coach asked if her parents were on board with her applying, and she said we were supportive (we are, but only if this coach is willing to give a LL). Ok, here is where it gets weird. The coach then announced to the college team that my D had committed. Ummm, what?! D is suddenly getting texts and fb messages from the team, all excited that she will be joining them. Talk about awkward. So D emailed the coach to ask for clarification, stating that she needs to know whether she will receive the highest level of support from the coach, because otherwise she doesn’t want to use her one and only ED app on this longshot. The coach takes 3 days to reply to D, and the reply is incredibly vague, promising exactly NOTHING. </p>
<p>There is another school that D likes equally well, but is not an Ivy. At this point, I feel like WHO CARES. I’d like her to be at a place where people don’t jerk her around like this. Anyway, how screwed up is this?</p>
<p>4yearvacation,</p>
<p>Your feelings are your feelings. I realize you are venting quite a bit, and I hope yo feel better. I remember feeling somewhat at the end of my rope a few times during this process, but I had to (appear) calm and in control for my son.</p>
<p>I can honestly say that most of us have probably felt the way you feel at some point. I know I have, and my son has. However, I think you need to keep your eyes on the prize if that is something your daughter still wants.</p>
<p>I’d like to make a couple points to hopefully untangle this for you and prevent her from making a mistake that she may regret. She can (hopefully) easily fix this by picking up the phone and doing a “reset” with the coach.</p>
<p>First point, I’m not sure what level of expectation the Ivy coach has provided. But an Ivy coach can’t promise Admission but they can pretty much guarantee a LL when they work hand in hand with Admissions. The honest ones will tell you that, and they will tell you everything is run through admission for a final decision. Your D’s coach appears to be honest, but maybe did not answer the question directly. LLs are coming out. You need to find out if D is on that list or not.</p>
<p>Second, your daughter owns the recruiting process. Not the club coach or the college coach or high school coach. She is the point of contact for all things that she wants out of her college experience whether it includes athletics or not. In addtioin, I think your daughter may have shared a little too much information with the college coach about not going to other OVs. She should not tell the college coach that she quit her club team unless explicity asked as that may reflect poorly on her.</p>
<p>Third, I think there has been a break down in communcation regarding the LL, ED, and committment language. I would highly encourage your daughter to call the coach and straighten it out ASAP if she genuinley wants to go to that school. As I understand it, your daughter’s commitment to apply ED is contingent upon the coach commiting to a LL. If the coach can’t commit to a LL then you have more information than you had previously.</p>
<p>Lastly, these things take time. Your timetable is vastly different from the coaches. Don’t tell the coach anything that may prolong the process or defer his decision making. If anything, you want to give the appearance there is a market thereby nudging the coach to take action.</p>
<p>I wish you the best of luck, and I hope this works out to your daughters favor. I truly believe a phone call can do wonders and straighten this out. Your daughter wants to go there, and the Ivy coach seems to want her. So, all the stuff in the middle is details that need to be discussed. Go get’em!</p>
<p>When targeting Ivy’s you have to consider that the coach only has so much pull. Even with the coach’s support, she might not get in. He can’t promise her admission. As for taking time to get back to her, it happens. I guess I don’t really see how he is jerking her around. If the coach thinks she has committed and told the team so, to me that sounds like he is supporting her. What exactly was his response to her email? Did she specifically ask for a LL?</p>
<p>If your daughter is willing to quit her sport now, what will she do when she doesn’t get the call as a first stringer, yet needs to do all the workouts, suffer through a lack of sleep/food due to her workouts, misses parties due to meets/workouts and is playing catch-up on academics because she was cheering her teammates on during the meets?</p>
<p>Perhaps, playing the sport at the D1 level is not a commitment she is willing to make. D1 sports makes HS club sports seem like a walk in the park. Do not underestimate the time/energy commitment involved in a D1 sport - even at an Ivy.</p>
<p>On the real topic you are interested in (what’s happening with the coach), you are the 6th recruit for 4 slots. The coach, quite simply, wants the best athletes able to get through admissions. The coach will keep you on the hook as long as she can - your daughter is an insurance policy. Realize that and act accordingly.</p>
<p>fenwaysouth, thanks for the reply. D has definitely not informed the college coach that she has quit her club (actually her coach wouldn’t let her, so it hasn’t happened yet). My biggest problem with all of this is the lack of communication. Whether D calls or emails, it takes forever to hear back. And then sporadically, she will get 2 or 3 emails in a row from the coach. I get that there is much going on behind the scenes, and D is not in their top 4. But it has been enough to make D question if this is who she wants to be with.</p>
<p>SteveMA, her email specifically asked what level of support she could expect from the coach in admissions. The coach implied that there were still athletes he needed to hear from after their final OV’s. That’s fine, I have no problem with that. I just find it odd that he announced to the entire team that D had committed, when she had not, and he had not offered any support whatsoever.</p>
<p>Stemit, my daughter’s sport may be the only one where the time demands at the Ivy D1 level are actually less than in high school/club. That is why she is considering quitting club. She is putting in 30 hrs/wk. Yes, we realize D is an insurance policy - well said. Someone awhile back on here said “Go where you are wanted.” Those words are ringing in my ears…</p>
<p>Being the 6th recruit for 4 spots means you are not going to get support through admissions unless 3 of those other athletes decide to go elsewhere, which is unlikely. Apply if she wants but don’t count on the support of the coach and make sure she sends and email with a read receipt stating that she did not officially commit to this school.</p>
<p>Is this sport in progress right now? If so, the coach is busy and while recruiting is important, it’s not number one for the coach right now. It sounds like he answers emails when he can. You do need to accept that your DD is not the most important thing in his life right now and it just takes time to hear back. It is what it is.</p>
<p>The other thing your DD needs to decide is what if she gets in, tries out for the team and doesn’t make it. Does she still want to go to school there if she is not playing her sport.</p>
<p>at the end of the day, all coaches generally want to win; so being a good student really isn’t that important to them. The big hurdle there seems to be can I get this student admitted, then can they stay eligible, while thinking how many events can this person bring to the team and keep my job secure; not that it’s anything wrong with that. It is what it is, now having been on the I’m only talking to three people list and you are on the list, well it didn’t make a difference I think, because the very top talent in a sport are all on every teams radar and it’s just a matter of knowing who signs first where and all the other pieces fall into place. My suggestion is to just go on about your business and find the best deal, best fit and best program for your student athlete------it’s great to be wanted by the HYPS types schools, but really is it worth it?</p>
<p>4yearvacation: Very interesting thread. We have something similar going on, similar frustrations and bitter taste in our mouths. Hope this story has a great ending! How is it going?</p>
<p>yes, tell us how it’s going…you probably started the thread at peak anxiety and, hopefully, things have started to fall into place --if not fully resolved. the kid i mentioned was not done with the process until mid-oct. and had a very happy result. one thing though, it is up to the athlete to insist on the LL and, ideally, with enough time to have it in hand before deadlines. at a certain point in the process, and i think you’re certainly there now, it is ok for the parents to get involved as advocates. whichever parent comes across as less emotional is best. the coach asked if your dd has her parents’ support in this process and that is an opening to ask for a conference style call. in this way, the parent can ask some of the tougher questions for child’s sake. it is great for the kids to handle most of this on their own (with behind the curtain help) but now it’s contract negotiation time and another voice and pair of ears is always a good idea at this stage. </p>
<p>good luck and keep us posted!!</p>
<p>4yearvacation: any updates? We are in a holding pattern for our sport - hoping for news end of this week. Seems alot rides on the outcome of the Oct SAT on the 25th and then hopefully things will fall into place.</p>