Hubby and I are both alums and D18 got in but declined. Public flagship. I think my S 21 is a better fit and am almost certain he’ll apply – am hoping her decline doesn’t affect his admission decision?
(Note to self: give to the annual campaign every year!)
You’re overthinking it. No worries at all.
Really, you think a big public flagship is going to remember that Jane Brown from Chicago was accepted and turned the school down and three years from now John Brown, her brother (or is it her cousin?), now wants to get in? And that they’d connect the dots or even care?
The colleges don’t take it personally when the applicants find a better fit or better money.
Wouldn’t worry. From experience, Son # 2 was accepted and ended up going to a school that Son # 1 also was accepted to but declined. They applied to overlapping schools and I never felt that Son # 2 was at a disadvantage because his brother declined a few years prior.
If you are worried - don’t. No college expects a 100% yield and know that students will decline for whatever reason.
Nope. H and I graduated from the same small LAC. S1 applied, got in, and declined. D1 refused to apply even though she was heavily recruited. D2 applied, got in, and also declined. Nice merit aid for S1 and D2. If anything, they knew exactly who our kids were: very uncommon last name (about 100 in the country), same as H.
I love that you’re worried about this–makes me feel more normal! It’s the kind of thing I worried about with my kids (they had similar school lists). It’s so traumatic to decline wonderful schools, especially ones with a family connection, so that might be where our worry comes from (?). Please don’t worry, though. I can add to the data here that says it makes no difference whatsoever. H and I gave $0 to our alma maters, too, if that helps. 
No, I honestly don’t think they hold onto all those applicants in their head. We went to a dinner with our son’s regional admission counselor… the woman who read his application. She already didn’t realize he has a sister at the school (they have a highly unusual last name) and she’s made some headlines while there. Besides, they go through those counselors. It all a hard job. They won’t even think twice about your 1st kid when your second kid applies.
My son was concerned about this when turning down some privates. He wondered if the university would hold it against him if he wanted to apply there for graduate school one day, so he made it a point to write a nice thank you note in the space where he was asked to give a reason for declining.
There is so much turnover in admissions staff that I wouldn’t give it a thought. But to make you feel better, make sure kid writes a nice decline email and thank-you, which should be done anyway.
No, they don’t hold them in their heads, lol. They can have records, by hs (applied/admitted/enrolled) and maybe by legacy name. But Public Flagship probably isn’t using such a fine comb. I wouldn’t worry. It’s more about some privates.
They don’t. My #1 kid declined a school where #2 was accepted with really good merit. Don’t worry about it.
No they won’t even hold it against one kid. My third turned down a public, thought about transferring, applied and turned them down a second time. Applied a third time, got accepted and actually transferred and they gave him a $6000 tuition discount the third time. I kid you not. The burser portal shows all 3 years of acceptances.
No.
H and I both went to Michigan. D accepted, turned it down. Four years later S applied, accepted, BIG scholarship. Turned it down.
I think it hurt our feelings a LOT more than Michigan’s! 
Public or large private? No. Small private with you as an alum? I would think they would just try harder to woo kid #2!
My D turned down a school that had offered her a nice scholarship. Fast forward four years as she is ready to graduate and they sent her a card asking her to apply for graduate school with an application fee waiver. They even referenced her acceptance from four years ago. Schools don’t get offended when you choose another.
The only thing Colleges would remember is if kid #1 applied ED and then backed out.
I forgot to add that youngest got good aid from the school that offered her older brother a full-tuition scholarship that he declined. I don’t think even the regional rep we talked to often remembered who her brother was.
Thanks everyone!!! And good advice about the thank yous. My D did include a nice note to a couple of her admissions officers but not all. I’ll put a bug in her ear to do the rest.