<p>Got it. Ice cream. Why didn't I think of that? And I promise I am no saint but thank you for the kind words.</p>
<p>What is that old quote, something like, "it is not enought that I am a success, but my friends must be failures"? Such lines, to exist in the vernacular of our culture, report the human condition, wanting to be and be known to be the best. However, each of us rises to the occasion of total empathy when we pause to connect with each other. I think that attitude of wanting to be on top is pure instinct, not thought, and we are civilized and we all try to do better. So, it is not without reason to project that is what others are thinking. Most of us acknowledge our own offspring's limitations and flaws, and indeed, complain at length about them to those near and dear. And in our hearts, as much as we want our kids to succeed, because we will be so proud and can bask in their glory, we know the truth of how human and flawed they are, and suspect that the great AD in the sky knows, too.......</p>
<p>"My silly (?) frustration is his typical boy laissez faire approach. He has invites from choice #2 to Honors Weekend, Engineering Scholar Days (both in early April) and I think he will benefit greatly from going to one. But he will barely look at the materials. I think he wants to be pushed to go. If he wants Honors dorm, which he does (he deigned to tell me that), he needs to act at his "earliest possible convenience" as it does fill up."</p>
<p>You know, it may not be so "laissez faire" as you think, even when they try to be overly nonchalant about it. Remember, they are processing that they are going to be leaving the nest in a little while, too. "Senioritis" often covers up a lot going on underneath.</p>
<p>mini - thank you for the perspective, which I'm thinking of as the male perspective ;). While you're helping me see it from inside his head, would you guess that I am right and he wants a little prodding/direction on the decision to attend one of the functions? I'm trying to navigate the grunts/"I don't cares" etc. and not railroad him. H is out of town, so I'm stuck here in Mars vs. Venus land. :eek:</p>
<p>Oh, I don't think it is particularly, or even necessarily male (the grunts are, though ;)). Yes, push him out so that he can make the proper decision - for him - explain to him very clearly that you will be unhappy if HE is unhappy with his final decision, it's part of the worry license that you received when he was born, so that you are doing this FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS.</p>
<p>Then give him a big, sloppy kiss, and tell him that he is going to get one more of those every day until he gets off his duff....</p>
<p>Ta da! S actually allocated 5 minutes of his evening to discussing college plans! Turns out his ambivalence about going to either Honors Weekend or Engineering Days was that several of the schedule items had Parents "with your student"! Fate worse than death. I pointed out that half the items had parents in totally different places and promised that in the other half I would stake out a place on opposite sides of the room/planet.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Then give him a big, sloppy kiss, and tell him that he is going to get one more of those every day until he gets off his duff....
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Yes, you clearly know the motivators. In our case, the elbows would go up before I got within 2 feet, but the threat alone will do the job. Didn't need it tonight, but will remember it from this day forward.</p>
<p>Mini, jmmom, LOL. Preparing me for S - which clearly D did not do.</p>