<p>It's good to know that there are other families out there just "holding their breath and waiting in the wings".</p>
<p>So happy to hear about the kid who got the acceptance to Duke. Wonderful ending!!</p>
<p>We too are waiting to fly out to visit our 2nd choice school. We spent an entire day at Pton last fall, which made the deferral even more devastating.
When I say an entire day, I mean an entire day, spent with a student and his dad who works with my husband. We visited every nook and cranny of the place.</p>
<p>D has been accepted into a state school with an "almost free ride" and she just got the paperwork to apply to be a member of their honors college. This school is actually her third choice.</p>
<p>However, if it turns out that she gets in, we are going to be singing, "I'm in the Money....I'm in the Money". But in all honesty I'd rather shell out the $$$ for Pton.</p>
<p>The reason I love this site so much is that I can indulge my fixation here without reminding him. </p>
<p>Yes....I couldn't agree more. I don't want to discuss schools with child anymore, because I don't want to raise her anxiety level, but I need to converse with people. My friends' kids are younger....and the mom's of other seniors that I am sort of friendly with have kids who have not "reached for the top schools", and I feel sort of guilty. I mean, my d has the stats to get into Pton and others, but her friends don't. I feel self-consciece about talking about it to them. At least on these boards, we are all in the same boat.</p>
<p>I haunt CC, including the boards of the colleges to which S applied, looking for more information on decision dates, what current students have to say, etc. As far as college decisions are concerned, I fit the classic description of a "maximizer" - one who cannot curb the desire to factor in as much information as possible prior to making a decision. </p>
<p>S, however, is doing what he always does - rehearsing, coming home at 7PM, and saying "where's dinner?" He will not consent to debate the merits of colleges or talk about how he will choose among his current or April 1 acceptances. I can't obsess with him, so I obsess here. He is at peace, I have my knickers in a twist wanting to know RIGHT NOW!</p>
<p>He will have to engage soon, however, because he is going to visit Emory for four days at the end of March. This will be a terrific experience, trying on college life, meeting professors, etc. - the hydraulic lift that he utilizes to stay above the fray will lower and put those tires on the road.</p>
<p>
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the hydraulic lift that he utilizes to stay above the fray will lower and put those tires on the road
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LOL, love the image, yulsie! We've got one EA acceptance here and one more probable nod, with other decisions on the way, but there's very little talk about the choice and how he'll make it. To make matters somewhat "worse", we'll be on our family vacation (in Hawaii! yay!) from Mar. 25 - Apr. 2, so anything that doesn't arrive by Mar. 24th won't even be seen until he gets home from school on Mon. Apr. 4 (since the mail will be held at the post office until then)! </p>
<p>Occasionally someone will mention something about School 1, or ask a question about his recent visit to School 2, but mostly we're just tip-toeing around it. He's thrown himself into robotics (his team just won their regional F.I.R.S.T. competition this weekend!) and his service work, but more and more I notice him working on his photography when I pass his room late at night. He's gotten much quieter than usual, and the rest of us are walking around with question marks for faces. He says he doesn't want to think about it any more until he has the final acceptances and visits School 1 in Apr. (right after we get back from Hawaii: what a life, huh?), which makes sense. I have visions of us all sitting down and calmly and rationally talking over the options and the pros/cons of each, and I hope this isn't just an idealized parental fantasy... Someone tell me it really can work this way??</p>
<p>(PS: bettina, you're right: even with an acceptance in hand, it's not always clear what the next step is actually going to be...)</p>
<p>its nice to have company in this journey. I am with with mommypain- I don't have much comraderie in this deal with my friends. It is a little awkward and most of them assume(mistakenly)that my child will get in wherever he wants(which we all know is NOT the case with the ultra selective schools-you can never assume or count on anything at all). Child does not want to discuss it anymore- in his mind, he has done the work and it is out of his hands at this point.He is still waiting on word from 5 schools and they are all April 1 decisions. Everyone asks and at this point,his first choice school is one that he does not have a decision on yet....so...he wants a t shirt that says " I won't know until April 1"....</p>
<p>I am beginning to realize that the tension may not be over April 1st, or even when financial aid offers come out. It may not be until May 1, when decisions are due... My son has really avoided deciding upon first and second choices in order to avoid disappointment if he doesn't get in certain places, or if the aid offer is not enough for him to be able to attend. So it will not be a quick and easy decision like it was for Son #1, who had a clear favorite. (and received a great offer from that favorite) Oh, my, now I have something else to dread--the decision-making!</p>
<p>Wow- we just received a likely letter from UVA(out-of-state!) I, too, peruse the threads of the schools and had seen kids getting these 2-3 weeks ago, so was quite surprised when we received ours this week. Those likely letters really do serve a great purpose, this school originally went on the list as a 2nd choice to CA (much closer to home.)</p>
<p>Now all of a sudden I feel interest in UVA, pleased to know she ought to be in and in honors college, and we are likely going to fly her back there for a quick visit this month on spring break- since we know she is probably in (according to the UVA experts on this board.) The likely letter is so very nice, just to feel,as Sallye Field said, "You like me, you really like me!" It is a warm fuzzy, for sure.</p>
<p>Of course, those final choices have to wait until fin aid offers all around! With the variation in offers, you cannot decide purely on favourite school. If there is a significant financial difference, that's got to be considered.</p>
<p>I agree this site helps to avoid raising the anxiety level of your kid. He remains supremely confident he will get into UT Austin, his first choice, , despite only 19% rank based on his well known top public, SAT score 100 pt above the 75% mark. He thinks life is fairer than his parents.</p>
<p>Alumother - it's rare that we can blurt out what's really going on inside, and I'm glad we have this forum for you and for all of us. Anyone who flames you is :p as far as I'm concerned.</p>
<p>Now, on to my own frustration. S is awaiting one final answer from HYPS. He is not likely to get a yes, even tho I am a legacy. And I actually think a No will engender only a very momentary pang on his part (and ours) as he has grown more and more in love with choice #2, a very good school but not HYPS, where he is already in, with merit scholarship, Honors College, Engineering Honor Society, etc. etc. He loved this school from the get-go, and I think he will thrive being in the top 10-15% versus middle-of-the-pack (or maybe not even).</p>
<p>My silly (?) frustration is his typical boy laissez faire approach. He has invites from choice #2 to Honors Weekend, Engineering Scholar Days (both in early April) and I think he will benefit greatly from going to one. But he will barely look at the materials. I think he wants to be pushed to go. If he wants Honors dorm, which he does (he deigned to tell me that), he needs to act at his "earliest possible convenience" as it does fill up. He also has a looming deadline to decide which AP tests to take in May. Senioritis having set in, he'd be happy to avoid them all, but they can of course place him out of Engl. 101, move him up in Calc, give him Econ credit etc. etc. Has he looked at the college web site to see how they will work? :( (rhetorical question).</p>
<p>Really, I should be counting my blessings, but sometimes I wish I had a nice orderly Type A girl ;)</p>
<p>jmmom and garland. You are both so nice. I was actually so embarrassed I deleted the post so now no one will know what you are talking about. It's the best of both worlds for me - I get the support and very few people know what I said to be so embarassed about. Guess I give up the kudos though:)Thank you very much.</p>
<p>I figured you deleted and then wondered if I should delete mine (not the support of your, but my own stream-of-consciousness). Quick, tell me before the edit time runs out. :eek:</p>
<p>Jmmom - nice orderly Type A girls, get senioritis,too. Mine has to take one more SATII (a senior, taking SATIIs in MAY :eek:) - she has to have it for placement in French, something she is considering a major/minor in. Her school does not teach French to the level necessary for the AP exam, so it has to be SATII! I had to drag her to the computer to have her register - do you think she will study! NO!
The other issue is calculus, she is just beginning to wake up and enjoy math now that she is in calculus, her grades are good, not stellar. We won't know her AP scores until July, but based on past experience, they won't be great, this is another course that is not taught quite in depth enough for the exam. She has cast around a bit for a part time job, and I suggested that instead of taking a job, she take an online calculus course, so that maybe she will have enough knowledge at placement time to get credit for calculus, or even be able to submit that course as calculus - you would have thought I was asking her to walk on hot coals!</p>
<p>jmmom - Hey if everyone knows I said something that I thought better of so be it. Thanks for asking. I almost sent you a PM but what the heck guess it's OK to do this on the board. And your stream-of-consciousness is so sweet - not that Cruella de Ville I was confessing to...</p>
<p>I am sorry I missed your post....I thought I was going crazy because I had no idea what everyone was referring to. I am sure the blatant honesty of whatever you said was refreshing!</p>
<p>OK. Mustering up courage to repost Cruella de Ville. Have to recreate it. </p>
<p>My D was deferred from her EA choice. She has been accepted full tuition to state safety, and invited to apply for honors scholarship at top state schools so we have high hopes she will at least be accepted there scholarship or no. One of these universities will be a wonderful place for her to go to school. She is not suffering waiting for the RD notices.</p>
<p>I am a mess. I use this forum as a way to harbor my obsession, like a lot of you, and keep my kid protected from my frenzy. Here's my main issue. Like many of you, again, my daughter has been the highest achiever amongst our family friends and acquaintances. And there are parents amongst those friends and acquaintances who went to top 5 schools whose kids did not do so well in high school - just took a different path. So they've always figured my daughter would get in to a top 5, theirs wouldn't. And it's been sort of an unspoken thing, and I have just tried never to gloat or take credit for it. There but for the grace of the higher powers, right?</p>
<p>So, as it turns out, my D is deferred, and their child is accepted EA. To a top 5. And I have this shameful fear that my D won't get accepted to any of the top 5 RD and that I will have to continue smiling graciously all the while and congratulating them (I really like their kid BTW) suspecting that they are thinking "Na na na na na, mine got in and your shiny prize D did not..."</p>
<p>Alumother -this is what we are here for - the madness doesn't end. Look in the parent cafe and follow the link to the Mommy Madness Newsweek article, it made me cry.
We understand, we feel your guilt, and your honest chagrin, the whole process is demeaning.
Have some ice cream, it is always a good choice.</p>