AP English, the dreaded essays

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>Hey everyone,</p>

<p>I just wanted to know if there was anyone else in my situation. I am a Junior now, and it is so obvious, looking at my past report cards that I just suck at English. I can do just fine in areas that require logic- like math and science. But when it comes to English, I just do not possess the mastery of the essay. I also noticed that girls usually do better in English than guys, and thats how it is in my AP Humanities 11 class, the top 3 writers are girls. The point is, does anyone have any advice fo me to improve myself- has anyone tried reading those books on how to write better? So far I have Strunk and White's Elements of style and The Book on Writing: The Ultimate Guide to Writing Well.</p>

<p>What books sould i use to btter my writing?
Is there another way out instead of reading a gazillion books to write better?</p>

<p>Bottom Line- does anyone have a way they used to actually studyfor writing a better essay??</p>

<p>Your advice will be much appreciated</p>

2

<p>I have Elements of Style too along with The Little Brown Handbook. She also gave us a thick writing resources booklet that she made. It's like a writing bible in our class.
Do more timed essays. Try reading magazines like the New Yorker to study the rhetorical devices that they use. She murdered our first papers (rough drafts- this was during our one on one conference w/her) and gave us a huge list of words that we were forbiddent to use, but now writing is so much easier. Also, study that Elements of Style book. It really clears up many things.</p>

3

<p>Thanks 13lueflame</p>

<p>I think I'll try the Little Brown Handbook. I just wanted as many opinions as I can get on my last essay, because the more critique, the more improvement. I spent so many hours on writing this essay, but when I got it back there was a big red C on my paper. All you English experts out there, please tell me what I am doing wrong, what I should do, and comment on voice, tone, ...</p>

<p>The promt was show how the characters in The Odyssey and Heart of Darkness reveal their character by undergoing certain tests</p>

<p>The Essay</p>

<p>What defines a man?s character? Personal traits such as morality, loyalty and piety properly evaluate one?s character. Only after a lifetime of moral inquiry can a man attain a rich character. It cannot be identified at birth: character requires tests, trials and maturation to even begin to categorize. As a youth, a man may begin to show signs of his morality and integrity. In adulthood these elements will have been refined through tests. The man?s responses to these tests compose his character; therefore they can also reveal his character to an oblivious audience. There are two characters in literary works, whose authors exemplify this display in character. Odysseus in Homer?s ?The Odyssey? and Marlowe in Joseph Conrad?s ?The Heart of Darkness?, reveal their characters when they are tested. They portray that character is an element of the human condition that is tested and earned, not received. </p>

<p>In Ancient Greece, the ideal man was physically fit, moral, intelligent and overall as near to perfect as humanly possibly. One such man was Odysseus. He is the classic Homeric hero: on the brink of immortality in ability. A warrior of the Trojan War, he meets many challenges on his long journey home. His actions in response to these tests reveal his character. One test was his reaction to being Kalypso?s captive. Kalypso is a goddess who is sexually appealing and very desirable. Odysseus on the other hand, ?[longs] for home,? (V. 229); even when he had the best luxuries at her abode. Homer reveals to the reader that Odysseus is loyal to his family, a significant aspect of his character uncovered. Ancient Greek culture also required the ideal man to be very religious. Odysseus does not even fail at this prerequisite. He continuously sacrifices cattle in honor of the gods. Every celebratory occasion is a test for Odysseus, questioning his commitment the gods. Homer?s purpose of this ritual is to show to the audience that Odysseus is also pious, another significant element of his character unveiled.</p>

<p>Into the depths of Africa where morality has no constraints, Marlowe ventures as a captain in search of the famous Mr. Kurtz. The darkness associated with this novella?s title is not only that of the forest, the Africans and the uncertainty. It also symbolizes the white imperialist?s morality. In pursuit of material wealth, Africa is continuously ravaged to an extent where the natives look as though they are ?in some picture of a massacre?, (86). Conrad sets the stage perfect so that a novice?s reaction to this imperialistic hell would quickly unfold his personality. Marlowe is that innocent novice: he comes on this trip because it was his dream to be a captain, oblivious of the darkness that lay in the men?s hearts. A significant trial Marlowe experienced was when he first saw the natives? condition. His could have had no reaction, but instead he felt pain for them. It reveals his character has a moral buildup: he feels the imperialists? oppression is inhumane. Throughout the novella, Conrad continues to unveil Marlowe?s character by placing him in situation where he has to make decisions. These decisions are usually to distinguish between moral and immoral, and are a window to Marlowe?s personality and character.
Is it a question as to how a man behaves towards others? Or is it as Eleanor Roosevelt believed, a ?growth through experience?? However differently a man may define what character is, character will always define man the same way. It is an aspect of the human condition that makes each man unique. When Odysseus rejects secular pleasure for his family, he shows that he is loyal. When Marlowe?s responds to Imperialism in disgust, he shows he has a moral-rich character. Trials like these reveal a man?s character. Every day seems like a struggle for man. It is his decisions about the struggle that come to define his character. Perhaps that is the beauty of it: every day man has a chance to reveal, build or break his personality. ?[His] opinion of the world is also a confession of [his] character? (Ralph Waldo Emerson).</p>

4

<p>It's an alright essay, but I thinkthe biggest problem is that the thesis statement is unclear at best. From your introduction, I can tell what your essay is going to be about okay enough, but it's not terribly specific. And then you ended with a quote. My teacher says this is a BIG no-no.</p>

5

<p>practice is basically the only way to do well in ap english essays
im in ap english lang and my teacher stresses it often
she gives us a ton of prompts and we just do them
also READ! personally i cannot stress that enough because whether u know it or not, it DOES help, subconsciously
ur vocabulary expands and u think to urself "wow did i really just do that?" when u see ur essays
im not the best in english too but im hanging in there. i am in the same boat as u but dont give up.
i guess its just girls=english boys=math (at times)</p>

6

<p>It's an okay essay -- it'd benefit from more quotes though (quotes from the text). Keep in mind that many English teachers grade essays "holistically" (read: take a look at the shape of the essay/name of student and slap a grade on it), so it may benefit your grade to contribute to class discussions. A lot. You're good with logic, so you should be able to contribute good ideas. Unless your teachers take a month to give back your essays they probably don't actually read them. But writing is an important skill to have, and if you wish to acquire it, you'd be best off practicing a lot and reading (to get a sense of style).</p>

<p>Along the same lines: Excel in oral presentations. That's when your teacher evaluates you, and you alone.</p>

7

<p>I'm a girl and I don't think that affects anything. Boys just have too many cooties in their head, eating away at their brain.</p>

<p>You essay was, like everyone else has said, okay.You need to make your essay more illustatrative by adding more examples. </p>

<p>It gets better. We have her class all year even though we're on block schedule. My writing has drastically improved and I know this upcoming semester will be much easier. You just need more practice and you'll be fine.</p>

8

<p>I think the essay was decent but to improve it you might want to try to vary the sentence structures a bit more and add more complex sentences, which are both things that AP graders look at.</p>

9

<p>One of my former teachers told me that the best way to improve your writing is to clarify your thinking. I agree with the poster that one of your biggest problems is that your thesis is vague. A thesis needs to be very clear. After all, if you don't have a good idea of what you're trying to say, your reader won't either. A good way to develop a strong thesis statement is to turn the prompt into a question. The (clear) answer to the question is your thesis.</p>

10

<p>Wow I'm horrible at writing essays. I'm stronger in the Math/Science subjects and I had thee worst AP Literature teacher in the world. I took the AP Literature exam last year. I'm not even going to say what my score was. All I am going to say is that I feel your pain.</p>

11

<p>I also feel your pain. This is like a club. :D</p>

<p>My second lowest grade that I've ever made in my life is six whole points higher than my current English grade. -_-</p>

12

<p>AP Lang&Comp is actually study-able...analyzing style is fairly objective. Just look for three devices, and then talk about them. Not too much you have to do "interpretation-wise", which is why I did well on the test. AP Lit, though...I haven't taken it yet, but I foresee a 3. Not that it matters for the school I'm going to next year, but... meh.</p>

13

<p>I just want to add on to what people said about lack of evidence. Not only do you lack direct quotes (which are important because you want readers to know that your thesis is supported by direct evidence), but you also talk around your point a lot and leave it unpolished. For example:</p>

<p>
[quote]
His actions in response to these tests reveal his character. One test was his reaction to being Kalypso?s captive. Kalypso is a goddess who is sexually appealing and very desirable. Odysseus on the other hand, ?[longs] for home,? (V. 229); even when he had the best luxuries at her abode. Homer reveals to the reader that Odysseus is loyal to his family, a significant aspect of his character uncovered.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Okay, so Odysseus longs for home. Why is his loyalty an important aspect of his character? How do later events show that this loyalty is as significant as you say it is? And exactly what does he say or do to show that he longs for home? It's one thing to say that he is; it's another to prove it. I'm sure you've heard the show don't tell thing many times, but it's true. In writing analytical essays, you can't really just say something without backing it up with evidence.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Ancient Greek culture also required the ideal man to be very religious. Odysseus does not even fail at this prerequisite. He continuously sacrifices cattle in honor of the gods. Every celebratory occasion is a test for Odysseus, questioning his commitment the gods. Homer?s purpose of this ritual is to show to the audience that Odysseus is also pious, another significant element of his character unveiled.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>All right, this part just sounds tacked on, as if you were running out of space. How is his piety related to his loyalty to family? (I'm assuming they're related, as they're in the same paragraph.) You need to make that connection in your paper. It's not enough to say that something is significant. How and why is it significant? Where's your proof?</p>

<p>I think your second paragraph is stronger than your first.</p>

<p>Anyway, I'm not quite sure what the differences between AP Lang & Comp and AP Lit are (the former isn't offered at our school), so this is based on my experience in my AP English class that's geared toward AP Lit. However, I feel that in writing analytical essays, the rules are probably similar.</p>

14

<p>I had always been pretty confident with my writing and was recommended for AP Lang. and Comp my junior year (last year). I took the course and was a bit overconfident in the beginning, until I received a C+ on my first essay. The major problem that I had was with the structure of my writing, as I tend to ramble with run on sentences. What I had learned to do was for every essay, I wrote an outline for it before I wrote it. I would write the thesis, structure everything down to the page numbers of the quotes that I was going to use. It really tamed my writing down and made the task of writing an essay 100 times easier because I had all my thoughts down, I just needed to make them in sentence form. Honestly, taking the AP test last year, I have no idea how I could have written 3 essays that quickly without outlining what I was going to do first.</p>

15

<p>Wow,</p>

<p>I only posted my essay yesterday, and have already recieved 12 reviews. Thanks everyone. I'll use your advice on my next essay. The problem is, this was the last essay before course selection next year. My teacher wasn't confident that I would be able to handle AP Humanities 12 next year. I just have a few questions about your comments.</p>

<p>1) Read a lot. I am willing to do this, and it will probably help on my SAT. But which books should I read that will make a great difference in a short time because I'll have to prove myself to be recommended for Ap next year soon. You'll probably say - no you idiot you need lots of practice, but what kind of books should I read. Anything specific?</p>

<p>2)I was told that by reading other essays that were really good, I might get a sense of what I should write like.
Does anyone have essays that have recieved excellent grades, in Junior or Senior year, they wre willing to shsre with me, so I too may acquire mastery of words in the essay?</p>

<p>3)About the quotes
How do people find such perfect quotes for their essay. We are told our thesis after we read the book, in this case The Odyssey. So how do you go back and find supporting quotes through a mess of 500 pages of greek literature? I I knew my thesis beforehand I could keep a lookout as I read. But does anyone have any suggestions?</p>

<p>Your replies are greatly appreciated...</p>

16

<p>In reply to your questions (based on my understanding):</p>

<ol>
<li><p>The classics. Sometimes when I read Jane Austen, I'll come across quite a few words that I recognize from vocab lists (SAT and otherwise). Plus, it'll probably be good to show your teacher that you read books of literary merit outside of class. If you have the time, read everything. Seriously. </p></li>
<li><p>Knowing your thesis is a good start. If you know your thesis, then you can figure out what kind of evidence you want to use and the parts of a play/book that are pertinent. For example, in your essay, you talked about Odysseus' longing for home. You can probably think of a couple examples where that shines through (like at Kalypso's abode). You flip to those sections and find relevant quotes that back up your thesis.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>One thing about quotes - it's not always enough to just throw them in for the heck of it. You might use them as examples to illustrate your point, but it's better to analyze them and show how that analysis is relevant to your point.</p>