<p>Why don't you put in an application at Peddie? A lot of things that are good about St. Paul's are things that are good about Peddie. John Green, the headmaster at Peddie, as well as the chair of the Humanities department at Peddie came from St. Paul's and I would assume that the nurturing and spiritual flavour is very similar. The endowment of Peddie is very large due to the Annenberg gift and there is some merit money available.</p>
<p>My suggestion is this. Why not let your son, if for the right reasons he would want to go prep school, apply to both St. Paul's and Peddie on the understanding that he can go only if he gets the Annenberg scholarship at Peddie or the Classical Honors scholarship at St. Paul's. The classical honors would require him to learn a bit of latin from a standing start but to my certain knowledge that is doable on a homeschooled basis provided you put in the effort to tutor him. Let him follow his star--either place would give him an unparalleled education</p>
<p>I would very strongly urge you to visit St. Paul's and Peddie, not so much to interview but to take the air, to get a sense of the place. We had some of the same misgivings as you do about being separated from a much loved child but if the place 'feels' right, if you sense somehow that the ground is warmer there, that you are affected by the sheer beauty of the place, you will know that it is right for him. By the way, we are more than 2000 miles away.</p>
<p>I'll agree here in thanking the parents who are sharing their experiences. We are still not at all sure what next year's plan is: we may not be able to afford boarding school, or our son's applications may not be accepted, or we may come up with a really fine "plan B" here. But I guess we are calling staying here "plan B" now, because the information we have received here answers some of the concerns that any parent would have about a child going far off to school.</p>
<p>paleozoic,
Thanks for those suggestions! We actually <em>have</em> visited Peddie and thought it wonderful--great resources & faculty, nice students, beautiful campus, warm environment. </p>
<p>The thing re: scholarships--the Annenberg has only been given out <em>3 times</em> at Peddie since 1993! And the last time to a kid from Guana who started his own UN affiliated charity org plus developed his own clothing company and recieved national recognition for anti-AIDS efforts. Okaaay. Not quite as optimistic, although son has initiated several pub service endeavors at his school. :-)</p>
<p>I'd be interested in the classical honors scholarship--I thought St. Paul's didn't have much merit aid. Son's pretty good at studying under pressure & mastering stuff quick. I'll check it out.</p>
<p>The 'hook' that got me to go down this whole boarding school path was the possiblity of full-ride merit at Peddie....now it's so remote-seeming that I'm having regret about starting things. Oh well! At least the process has it's own benefits! :-)</p>
<p>tokenadult, good luck to you with <em>whatever</em> works out for your son! You're looking at a variety of options, and that's important! Sounds like his math abilities might carry him far re: admissions based on what you'd posted before. </p>
<p>I've got to stop thinking about this whole thing (giving me ulcer!!) </p>
<p>Jolynne- One thing about going through the prep school application/admission process is that it makes the college application process and the pain of waiting for decisions easier to bear. I feel like an old hand at all this!</p>
<p>Here's a question for parents who have already done campus visits: how do you decide which school you like best? (That is, what's most important to you, the parent, irrespective of what your child thinks?) What's usually the most surprising aspect of a school visit? What are important things to find out while on a school visit?</p>
<p>I've visited 3 schools and there isn't one school I like best. I think it's the same for my d. I have opinions on which one has the 'nicest' dining hall, the most extensive music program, largest dorm rooms, etc. but when you're looking at schools that are academically matched these are all pretty minor details and no one is a tipping factor. There is no one school out there that is hands down better on all counts than the others, IMO. </p>
<p>I choose to have this outlook because no one knows at this point what the options will be come March and to decide there was one school that you just had to attend or couldn't be happy before acceptance and aid letters are received would be foolhardy. I also like to remind myself of the positives at our public h.s. (if you knew our h.s., you'd be snorting in derision at this point, but such is the power of deliberate, positive thinking) so that whatever comes next year we're prepared to make the most of it. I really think my d. feels the same way, as we've had numerous conversations about it. </p>
<p>On the other hand, we haven't considered any of the local private schools because we feel they would not provide the excellent academic and growing experiences of the b.s. we're looking at. She can do as well (maybe better) in the local public v. local privates. In the end, the school I like best will be the one that wants my d. and makes it possible.</p>
<p>Jolynne, follow the good advice you are getting and visit SPS, Andover, Exeter. You will fill that you have a more complete picture of all of the options when decision time comes and will feel more content with your choice.
My son applied and was accepted to SPS, Deerfield and Andover. They are all great schools but we chose to send him to Hotchkiss because it is also a great school and it had the advantage for us of being closer to home. He is in his second year and we are all thrilled with his experience there.
Too much emphasis is put on Exeter, Andover and SPS in this thread as being the only schools worth considering. I know the schools you speak of in your area and it sounds like you have some very fine options. Only you and your family can say what is the right one for you.</p>
<p>Last year, our family researched 9 boarding schools narrowing the interview process down to 6 and finally applying to 4. We were totally new to the boarding school process with son attending public school. During the interview process/school tour, my son decided that he wanted a smaller size school (under 400 students) and eliminated two schools larger in size. The questions we asked during the interviews were related to the daily structure of the school, advisor setup, rules and guidelines, activities/sports options, academic requirements, etc. Most schools were similar but did vary especially on how much structure/support the school provided to the students. In March having been accepted to all 4 bschools, we narrowed the revisit to the two schools son was most interested in and luckily we as parents agreed with his choices. At end of revisit day (at chosen school) son told us that he could see himself at this school and that this was his choice. Interestingly, son chose the bschool we were most impressed with regarding academic strength and daily structure as well as their focus on character/leadership growth. Happy to report, it has been an amazing experience for him this year and he has transitioned quite smoothly from a public school setting to the school's rigorous academic load. The faculty and students (upper level) have been extremely helpful and supportive. Of course, son was lucky to come into school playing a varsity sport which allowed him time to acclimate to school in preseason as well as integrate with students in upper level of school.</p>
<p>We visitied Exeter, Andover, SPS, Deerfield, Peddie, Groton, and also plan to visit Hotchkiss and Middlesex. All of these schools, as well as the schools people on this thread have mentionned, are excellent schools academically. Since academic excellence is a given with these schools, we thought it important to look at other factors at these schools, because a catalog can never give you the true feel of a school. Factors we looked for in each visit was size of the school; the quality of the dorms (large, small, cozy rooms, mostly singles, doubles?, etc.); the dining hall (size, seated meals?); the athletic facilities; the library; supervision, study halls; and layout and beauty of the campus. While to some these factors may be trivial, they are important to my daughter and I because, she will be living away from home for several years, and ultimately, she has to feel that the school is comfortable enough to be her second home. We made a point of walking around each campus after our "official visit" ended, and also eating in the dining hall to get a "feel" for each school. These visits have been instrumental in helping us to narrow down which ones to apply to.</p>
<p>One thing I like about S's school, which I didn't even think about during the search/visit process, is that there are a number of faculty members who have been at the school a long time. These are complemented by a good number of fine, young faculty. The "veterans" really add something, though. These teachers and their families live on or adjacent to campus. There is an incredibly strong feeling of community. Doors to their houses are not locked. Kids can come and go and visiting parents are welcome to stay with these families if there is a vacant room. Over the year and a half my son has been at this particular school, I have really gotten to appreciate the closeness the faculty members have with each other, the administration and the students.</p>
<p>We are in the midst of the application process to high school.</p>
<p>Fortunately, we live within commuting range of several of the schools mentioned on this thread, i.e. PA, PEA, GDA, as well as a few others.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, we are applying for Day student admission. The majority of these schools are 75%-80% borders, thereby making the day student slots highly competitive, much more so than a boarding application. I am worried about the social stigma of being a day student at a boarding school. Academics aside, some of the schools we visited make a concerted effort to include day students, while others do not.</p>
<p>
[quote]
if you knew our h.s., you'd be snorting in derision at this point
[/quote]
</p>
<p>About this comment, I will simply say that I might be beaming with admiration at YOUR local high school, having already seen MY local high school. ;) </p>
<p>About day students at mostly boarding schools, I seem to be less worried about this issue than some of the parents I have seen posting on various threads. A peculiarity of my state is that there is no such thing as a boarding school within a reasonable commute of the major metropolitan areas of the state. There are some day schools here that are day schools for everyone, and a few TABS boarding schools in our state (only one of which has much of an academic reputation) that appear to have mostly boarding students but small enrollments overall, so anyone here thinking "boarding school" is mostly thinking "out-of-state boarding school." The schools that have thus far caught our notice, mostly because of particular programs they offer, all have substantial percentages of day students attending. I consider day students on campus to be a feature, not a bug, because if I had my COMPLETE druthers I would have my child in a really, really excellent school as a day student. (And if I had my complete druthers I would also live in a bigger house in another neighborhood, but never mind.) The only schools that I have heard from have day students who report, in online discussion, that they enjoy being in their schools just as much as the boarding students, that they feel they are part of the school community, and that they feel they are getting a good education. They also report that all of the students have plenty to do on-campus (or off-campus in school-organized activities) that both they and the boarders participate in. So whether it's a problem to be a day student in a boarding school, or to have day students in large numbers at a boarding school, seems to be dependent on local circumstances that perhaps vary from school to school. I would count it as a plus if a school has some students on campus who are still living day-by-day with their parents and siblings. </p>
<p>For what it's worth, some of my wife's best friends from her boarding school experience overseas were day students at that school. Other friends were boarders. She likes getting together with any of them when she goes back to her native country. </p>
<p>Thanks for the recent replies. This thread is full of helpful information.</p>
<p>On the day v. boarding question - a friend whose d. graduated as a boarding student from one of the New England preps a couple years ago said this - that day students often won most of the academic prizes and had the best of both worlds: total access to the resources of the school with the ability to go home anytime they wanted a home cooked meal or needed to rest/study in a quieter place. She thought the competition for admission for day students was stronger (more applying for a limited no. of spots) so that those admitted were top students. I would LOVE to be in the position of having d. apply as a day student to the schools we've looked at but it would involve an inter-state commute. I think the negative is for the boarding students. I wouldn't want my d. to board and spend her weekends at a school where most kids went home on the weekend. It would make for a lonely, lifeless campus atmosphere. This happens on college campuses, too - regional schools where everyone leaves on weekends. Not bad for the students close to home but boarders should be aware that it affects weekend life. Friend also said her d. would often go to friends homes over the weekend for that homecooked meal and chance to get off campus and that day students would sometimes spend weekend nights in the dorms. </p>
<p>I do think it affects post-high school life, too. When my s. comes home from college at Christmas, he can connect with kids he graduated with. I've often wondered how it is for b.s. grads when they move on to college. How likely is it that they can meet up with former classmates, especially because b.s. friendships tend to be intense? </p>
<p>Maybe Hazmat or others could comment on this.</p>
<p>The day students at my son's school are just as much a part of the community as the boarders. The school maintains a strict 75/25% boarders to day. At the previous School From Hell in TX, it was as lefthanddog describes- the campus emptied out on weekends because of the huge percentage of day students and the large number of boarders who were local residents and boarded only to gain admittance. If anyone followed the sad story of the young man from my son's school who recently died as a result of a football injury, you know that he was as loved and respected as anyone on campus. He was a local, scholarship day student.<br>
My son's school seems to have extremely strong alumni connections. That is, the kids maintain their friendships well into college and beyond. I think a special bond is formed at these schools- whether you are a boarder or a day student. The northeast kids tend to stay in the northeast for college- there are exceptions, of course. My Texas son is probably going to be in the northeast, and I'm sure he will be seeing plenty of his high school classmates over the years. He and his roommate are likely to wind up at the same college!</p>
<p>I meant to add that when my son comes home to Texas he has almost no one to connect with. I feel bad about that. As a result, he doesn't come home that often. We go see him, and visit family on the east coast. His car is now in the northeast, and I am getting the impression that where the car is defines where home is!</p>
<p>My d stays pretty well connected with her middle school friends when she comes home to Texas. I suspect she keeps contact via IM while away at school. I also have observed that she is developing closer and closer relationships with her current school mates at bs.</p>
<p>This friendship thing (lack of contact in hometown) is a real problem for kids who go to bs. To deny that it exists is not fair. On the other hand, the friendships that are developed in these close knit communities is extremely strong. As I have mentioned before, both my kids remain extremely close with their hs friends and remain in constant contact. It may be somewhat different for my girls since they were day students and they have other day student friends from the surrounding towns, even though they don't live in the exact neighborhood as us. In all, there are going to be pluses and minuses to any choice that is made, however, I still feel strongly that the education and the relationships they developed at these private schools outweigh the negatives by a landslide.</p>
<p>Yes, the friendship thing is one of the issues I think about most when pondering what to do for my children's education. When I was growing up, I had one grade skip (fifth to seventh), and one interstate move. Each experience of moving into a new school class meant I had to learn how to make new friends among a group of kids who already knew one another. Looking back on which junior high and high school friends I still keep contact with guides me in lining up my children's social life. </p>
<p>My children are homeschooled. They play ALL THE TIME with the neighbors in our neighborhood, and they also have a close group of friends from our gifted homeschooling support group, which is scattered all over the sprawling metropolitan area we live in. My oldest son has disliked not seeing his homeschooling support group friends even more frequently than he does, so a while ago he formed a dedicated email group for those friends. It turns out that they all enjoy emailing back and forth and discussing their joint classes and the issues of the day. I think that relationship will continue for quite a while with several of those children, regardless of where my son goes to school in the next few years. One other plan that might be a possibility for our oldest is early college enrollment, something I have learned a lot about from various parents who have tried it, locally and around the country. Early college offers a different set of friendship tradeoffs, especially at a "commuter campus" like our state flagship university, from boarding school. Because my son would rather matriculate for his undergraduate studies at an out-of-state university than at the local university, going to a boarding school that has a substantial "feed" into that university sounds like a reasonable social plan for him. We'll probably keep batting this issue back and forth until April. </p>
<p>Thanks once more to the parents who have been there and who are helping us newer-to-boarding-school parents think out loud about this issue.</p>
<p>Smyth, when you said St. Joseph's Prep, did you mean the one in Bergen County?</p>
<p>I'm new here. I'm from NY, and I'm applying to Exeter, Choate, Andover, and Hotchkiss. (in order of preference)
How did everybody's interviews go? I just finished my last interview last week, at Choate, and it went great! My Exeter one went well too... My Andover one was OK, but I sensed she didn't really want to be there, and my Hotchkiss one was good.</p>