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<p>Would you give career advice to a complete stranger? If yes, then why not to your kids?</p>
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<p>You are wise beyond your years. In high school, that is indeed the right thing to do, as you lack experience to make the right choices.</p>
<p>However, I would caution you to not continue this in college. As you gather more and more life experiences, try to filter your parents’ advices through them. They may still be right, but what you are doing is trying out new skills. You may come to the same conclusion as them. If not, engage them in an open and honest debate backed up by the facts that you have gathered. Just don’t let emotion guide you, that’s the key part. Substitute emotion with reason.</p>
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<p>But we still give career advice to complete strangers on internet discussion boards. I find it really funny. Parents giving advice to their own kids is taboo in the USA. But giving advice to other people’s kids? Bring it on!</p>
<p>I think this attitude comes from deep insecurity. If you give some advice to your kid and it doesn’t work out, that will be a wedge in the relationship in the coming years. Better to stay silent and let the kid be responsible for his/her own actions, so that they can’t turn around and blame the parent. </p>
<p>But with other people’s kids? There is no accountability, so it’s open season.</p>
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<p>That’s fine, but if you were going around and telling kids that being a math major is the best thing since sliced bread, I would be suspicious of how informed your decision really is, and why you didn’t follow your own advice. Do you see the problem here? It’s one of inconsistency.</p>
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<p>That can be said about any career. If the OP wanted to be an investment banker, I would what the level of support would be.</p>
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<p>No, parents giving advice to their kids is not taboo. Parents trying to control their children’s lives, whether through financial means or just plain guilt-tripping, is something else entirely. I give my D advice about her college admission process all the time. Some of it she takes, some of it she doesn’t. That’s fine by me, since it’s her life and she is the one who will bear the consequences of her decisions, good and bad.</p>
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<p>The attitude that comes from deep insecurity, IMO (and I am not a mental health professional), is the need to try to control other people, including one’s own children.</p>
<p>And as far as giving advice on the Internet, if someone asks for the advice, as the OP in this thread, those giving it - as opposed to those promoting their own agendas by hijacking the thread as yet another means to bash the United States - are providing a service. The advice here ranges the gamut, and the poster is free to accept or reject what s/he wishes.</p>
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<p>I still believe that OP’s parents care far more about the OP than the collective group here.</p>
<p>IndianParent, you gave the OP some good advice in post #19. After that, you are just being argumentative. The OP ASKED for advice, so others here (including you) gave advice. If you have nothiing more to add, stop trying to argue with or put down others who are trying to help. I am a second profession high school teacher, so I posted something I thought would useful. Do I think I am better than his parents? No. I was just trying to tell him about a possibility he may not be aware of.</p>
<p>There is a difference between giving advice and screaming at your kid about how they won’t be respected and the money spent on their education is a waste of time. That is what parents here are objecting to. Sure, parents give advice about career choices and there is nothing wrong with that. </p>
<p>I was a teacher and quit to go to law school. I remember being disappointed that my father did not seem to really care about my getting into law school. I actually told him he was supposed to be proud of me. He told me that he was proud of me as a teacher and that he wouldn’t be any more proud of me as a lawyer.</p>
<p>IndianParent…tap, tap, tap…you still there? you were carrying on so well, too imho which is to observe and react to the way so many of these parent topics become the domain of right-thinking folks apparently oblivious to the need of college grads to move out into the world and start making a living. and unfortunately for actual students looking for direction, the prevailing mood from certain parents is still to follow your dream. meanwhile the economy is dropping in mid-summer and dreamers are going home after june to play vid games. the reason you’ve been met with such strong reaction on this thread is that the teaching thing is the perennial answer to the question “what can you do with a ba in (greek civ, history, sociology, english, etc)” well of course after you study such things you will “teach”. so the real issue is not about why this op (majoring in math/cs no less!) should or shouldn’t teach but whether all the myriad other kids (with far fewer actual job prospects available on graduation than this kid) have in fact wasted their 4 years if all they can do is teach. meanwhile, as has been noted here and on other threads, teachers are being laid off as their district budgets shrink. as i see it, the op actually has much brighter prospects that most of the kids who are considering teaching as their primary objective - math/cs has actual application in the job market, and s/he can always teach.</p>
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<p>Only if you look at college as strictly preparation for a career. College is preparation for life, which is about way more than making money.</p>
<p>Here’s what my husband did many years ago (1971-1977): He got a BA in Economics from Stanford. He then got an MBA from UCLA with plans to go into accounting. He worked for a year as an accountant and realized it’s not what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. So, he went to San Jose State and got a teaching credential (single subject—mathematics.) He has been a high school math teacher for the past 30 years and also coached track/cross country for most of those years. Does he regret going to Stanford and UCLA and ultimately ending up in a “lower paying” career? NOT FOR A MINUTE. He loves teaching and he loves math. He thought about getting his administrative degree at one point so he could go higher up the ladder. But, when it comes right down to it, he enjoys being in the classroom. He also teaches advanced math which makes his job more pleasurable. The kids are motivated and actually *want *to be in there, for the most part. :)</p>
<p>By the way, we have lived comfortably on his teaching salary (alone). We’re now paying for our daughter’s college education at Cal Poly SLO, thanks to his small stipend as Treasurer in the local teacher’s union. He also times 10ks/marathons/triathalons throughout the year (a “paid hobby”.)</p>
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<p>Is that an universal rule of some sort? </p>
<p>Lately, I try not get agitated by the routine holier-than-thou posts on this forum. Previously I would jump in and start to tear down such statements. I have improved a lot, but still it is statements like the above that makes me react very negatively. The previous statement by PG - this is USA, this is how we do things here - was the earlier trigger.</p>
<p>Can we please show some respect to different styles of parenting? Is that really too much to ask for - an open mind?</p>
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<p>I know that.</p>
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<p>I have no idea where you got the idea that giving advice to one’s kids is taboo in the USA. I’m trying to think of any American parents I know who don’t give advice to their kids and have come up empty. I give advice to my kids and my kids seek me out for my advice, even my adult kids. As for “other people’s kids”, the OP is an adult, not a kid. As an adult he is doing what you said in one of your posts – beginning to look outside of just his parents for advice or input. Even though my kids come to me for advice, I certainly hope they are learning to figure things out for themselves. For instance, I have a kid applying to medical school. He researched medical schools, he researched the process, he sought advice from the pre-med adviser at his school and from other physicians. If he can’t start figuring out for himself if medicine is a profession he wants to commit to and if he can’t figure out what he needs to do in order to get there, then he doesn’t really have what it takes. It’s not my job as a parent to suddenly become an expert on every profession as my kids become adults, that’s their job.</p>
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<p>So do I. I doubt anyone here thinks the OP’s parents don’t care more about him than the participants in an Internet discussion. I think the difference is that many of us don’t think that caring about someone means you can always be objective about what they should do in life.</p>
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<p>Since you asked - yes.</p>
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<p>Yes, it’s too much to ask. My mind is irrevocably closed against having any respect for parents who think they have the right to control their adult children’s lives.</p>
<p>Why not be a professor?</p>
<p>“Lately, I try not get agitated by the routine holier-than-thou posts on this forum. Previously I would jump in and start to tear down such statements. I have improved a lot, but still it is statements like the above that makes me react very negatively. The previous statement by PG - this is USA, this is how we do things here - was the earlier trigger.”</p>
<p>Oh, well, then I’ll censor what I say so that you don’t overreact.</p>
<p>Take responsibility for your own reactions. Nothing was directed at you personally. You’re going to find that in America, “controlling” or dictating a career to one’s children is viewed negatively. Feel free to live your life differently – it is a free country which is why people make tremendous sacrifice to come here – but don’t expect us to nod our heads and say, oh isn’t that great.</p>
<p>Indian Parent - there are lots of threads on which to post to avoid the bullies. They know who they are!!</p>