<p>Yes it’s worth it.
So spend your money on it so your son can get into a prestigious college so he can make millions out of college and be successful.
Then you can brag to your family and friends about it. Then your son will have millions of dollars and marry a beautiful blonde and have kids…after all of that, rinse, cycle, repeat.</p>
<p>Don’t assume that moving your son to a public school will ensure that he will be at the top of his class. I know two children whose parents (two different families, the same school year) moved their straight A students from prestigious private middle schools to our public high school. Both sets of parents said, point blank at the outset, that they were doing so in order for their children to graduate at the top of their class. I fumed inwardly at their arrogance but said nothing. I said nothing again four years later when both students graduated far from the top of the class. They hadn’t slacked off their work. Rather, they encountered a lot of public school students who were just as smart, even smarter, than they were.</p>
<p>About the child thanking a parent for sending her to public school – yes, that happens! One of our children has thanked us for keeping her in a regular public school rather than sending her to a charter or private school. (This is amusing, because we never even considered sending her anywhere else!) Our children are in school with students who are racially diverse, who come from different socioeconomic backgrounds, whose parents don’t speak English, who have all kinds of disabilities, and, yes, sometimes even who don’t care about education. As a result, our children are highly sensitive to problems that they wouldn’t see up close if they went to private school. They care even more about their education because they see some students who don’t care. They ask us to help pay for friends’ school supplies because those friends have parents who are poor. They are learning valuable life lessons that they might not learn in private schools.</p>
<p>Fortunately, we are in a state where most well-educated people send their children to public schools. The public schools are, for the most part, not racially or socioeconomically segregated. They also offer a strong education, and lots of students go on to wonderful colleges. If our children were unsafe in school or getting a truly inferior education, we would DEFINITELY consider another schooling option. However, as long as they are safe and learning, I think it’s actually a positive that they are in school with struggling students and even a few miscreants. It gives them perspective. :)</p>
<p>OP: Think about what’s best for your son for NOW, not with plans to get in a top-ranked school. If you believe that spending $35,000 a year for private school is best, then keep doing it. If you believe that your child can get a strong education in a public school and learn a lot of life lessons as well, then think about making the change and saving the money. The smartest, most motivated children will do well whatever school setting they’re in – and there are lots of great colleges out there for them.</p>
<p>This quote irritated me:</p>
<p>"And they are very sheltered. My daughter’s public HS is quite diverse - about 45% black, 45% white, 10 % other. "</p>
<p>My son’s private prep school is 46% white, 30% hispanic, 13% black, 10% asian, 1% other. Parents can choose diverse private schools if they choose to do so.</p>
<p>This is a complex issue that really depends on the public and private options available in any particular area as well as the individual finances of each family. However, the idea that every private school is 95% white is not a reason to choose public over private. There are diverse private schools. You just need to find those schools.</p>
<p>Having seen/experienced both, it all depends on the choices of schools available. Locally, we have parents who believe paying and sending their children to private school will one up them in the prestigious colleges. The privates near us, if your academically capable of obtaining admission and high placement, you would also be the academic superstar local public, unfortunately if your not the top top student, all bets are off. After the academic superstars, the rest get placed upon an entrance exam, no upward movement after 9th grade. Those kids have been denied admission to schools our 25% top of the class publics got admissions to. Our district has consistently had yearly HYP admissions, this year alone we had 15 IVY from a class of 170 kids, and this has increased so much so recently, I have a feeling the diversity of our district has been a real boost in admissions to those schools. Eight years ago, we NEVER had Harvard rep at our college fair, now HYP et al, are there and having information nights.</p>
<p>This is a very good point, but as you mentioned it really depens upon the career field you choose. For example, in the I-Bank world IVY is everything when you start looking for a job. In fact, if you undergrad degree is not from an IVY the recruiters and MD’s will look at you with disdain… (of course that is a general statement). You can even sight Facebook with this (most of the top mgmt is coming from HYPS) and Zuckerburg is quite ‘picky’ when looking at new hires (he himself went to Exeter and then HYPS)</p>
<p>Yes I-banking on the east coast is very Ivy-centric. If you son hopes to settle on the east coast and go into I-banking, and Ivy would be important, I agree. Does your 10th grader know what I-banking is, or what the lifestyle is like? Can you see him being happy in that world? Can he? Want are his passions?
If your son wants to do just about anything else- law,medicine,business, engineering- it won’t matter. It might even hurt.
(I hope you’re getting a taste of how this discussion board reels off topic and takes on a life of it’s own. Fun, isn’t it?)</p>
<p>And Zuckerburg- now there’s a “typical” example. ;)</p>
<p>The above response was in relpy to compmom’c comments…</p>
<p>I’m new at this…</p>
<p>“Is that really, honestly true? You actually remember them thanking you for that?”</p>
<p>Um… yes - I may be a public school teacher, but I’m not senile yet! Why is it considered expected that a child would be thankful for going to a private school, but inconceivable to be thankful for going to a public school? They both did thank me - they have seen first hand now that they go to a private LAC with predominantly private school educated kids that their IB courses prepared them better than most of their peers for college level work. And they tell me over and over again that they are so much more comfortable around all kinds of people than some of their classmates. My older D, who is in law school, has specifically decided to try to make difference in the world because of her experiences. She is currently doing an internship in the juvenile division of an inner city public defenders office. She wrote her personal statement for law school about opening gates for others. One of her biggest complaints about her private LAC was that students tended to live in a bubble - they loved raising money for children in Africa, but paid no attention to the problems in the community outside their gate. While she loved many of her experiences there, she specifically chose a law school that is strong in public service and social activism. </p>
<p>"This quote irritated me:</p>
<p>"And they are very sheltered. My daughter’s public HS is quite diverse - about 45% black, 45% white, 10 % other. “”</p>
<p>Why is this irritating? This was not a judgement of all private schools, just a statement of fact about our local public. And my point was that diversity is more than diversity of skin color. What we see here is a diversity of thought, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, socioeconomic level, personal interests, and yes, academic motivation. Maybe there are private schools that can replicate that diversity; maybe some types of diversity are what some parents want to guard against. As I said before, I’m not against private schools. I went to one myself for several years way back in the '70’s because the public schools in our city were truly bad, and yes, I was thankful. I just think that the idea that public schools are terrifying places and will give you a mediocre education that will lead to a mediocre college and a mediocre life are just wrong. I agree with those that have posted that you have to look at each school individually. Some public schools are really bad, some are life-changing (in a good way!). Some private schools are really bad, some are life-changing.</p>
<p>You’re doing great, DADforExcellence. It’s hard to navigate and follow one’s thoughts on this board, sometimes.
Hope you don’t mind my answering the post-I mentioned something a while back that was related to the topic of perceived Ivy advantage.
I do understand wanting the best for your kid. Mine went to Yale and Pomona, for Pete’s sake, so I get it. But the advantages of the Ivy label really dissipate once you move beyond the east coast. Honestly,here in CA, Pomona and the Claremonts have more pull.
Stay open. “Fit” really is everything when it comes to choosing a school. Or a job, for that matter.</p>
<p>My dispute with statements about parents saying their kids are grateful that they were sent to public school over private schools is that these statements also generalize what the parents think private schools are. That they are all full of privilege and lack of diversity, of skin color and of thought. The reality may be, that could just be the two particular schools your children had to choose from, nothing more, nothing less. There are private schools all over the spectrum. I detest conformity of thought, and that kind of diversity is far more important to me than having a rainbow of color in the student body. The racial makeup of a school reflects the local area, and not much more.</p>
<p>On another note, I don’t think you make an assumption that a great student will be at the top of the class at a public school. There are some absolute superstars at many public high schools, and with a larger number of kids there, it could be very hard to be at the top.</p>
<p>moonchild,</p>
<p>Yes I’m starting to ‘get the hang of this now’ on CC. It such a great resource and I really appreciate the thoughtful comments by everyone thus far. It appears that the topic I raised regarding the cost/worth of private schools, expecially in Los Angeles, is interesting to many.</p>
<p>I agree that many of the colleges are the West Coast are certainly leverageable - Pomona, Cal, Stanford, etc…</p>
<p>You must be proud of your kids accomplishments… wow… Yale and Pomona!!</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>And, you can have the situation where the competitive, selective, private school “values” and “honors” academic success and achievement in an open, direct and supportive way. This becomes part of what the students themselves accept as valuable and therefore seek to achieve and to excel in those areas.</p>
<p>While at a public there may be individual students and specialized tracks and programs that try to be based upon thoses values, the overall value system of the students can focus more on non-academic measures. I ask that you think of the gifted academic student at a academic valuing private school where this is a generally accepted value and that same student in an environment where this isn’t the over-arching value. Then, add in that the student may not have the attributes, other than academic ability, that are valued at the school. </p>
<p>A gifted, but nerdy student seems to have an easier time thriving in a situation where the academics are “king.”</p>
<p>*And, you can have the situation where the competitive, selective, private school “values” and “honors” academic success and achievement in an open, direct and supportive way. This becomes part of what the students themselves accept as valuable and therefore seek to achieve and to excel in those areas.</p>
<p>While at a public there may be individual students and specialized tracks and programs that try to be based upon thoses values, the overall value system of the students can focus more on non-academic measures.*</p>
<p>Why are you assuming that academics aren’t “valued” and “honored” at a public school? Is that what you are saying?</p>
<p>I’m saying that across the board, public schools (not counting magnets) cannot create as homogeneous a value since they cannot screen and select the students (and parents) based upon these values.</p>
<p>My extended family has a total of over 60 years in teaching in public school. They express extreme concern that many students and their parents cannot wait until the student is 17 and can legally drop out. In Texas, the State has been forced to enact criminal penalties for parents whose children are picked up as truants more that a set number of times. At my son’s private, failure to attend got the student expelled.</p>
<p>At the private, the achievements of the students with the highest scores on standardized tests, state wide extracurricular academic contests, etc. are announced at an assembly. Public schools that have done something similar for State mandated proficiency test scores have been ordered to cease doing so.</p>
<p>It is very hard to instill a value system that cannot be publically proclaimed.</p>
<p>^^I agree with that. I think it totally depends upon the specific public school and the area. There are schools where academics are absolutely not as valued and honored as at others, kids do not want to appear smart. On the other hand, there are schools where many kids are highly academically motivated. In my area, there are both, and families who value education often move to the pricey areas of town to take advantage of the fantastic public schools. Other schools really stink, and people who can, move away from those area to avoid the schools. Probably like everywhere else in the country.</p>
<p>And, really competive and selective privates can be racially and socioeconomically diverse due to the ability to recruit and provide scholarships. My S’s private school reads like a role call of the United Nations and looks like the Orly or Miami Airport.</p>
<p>My S’s public high school would have been one ranked between 13th (2002) and 15th
(2008) by Newsweek. It is rated as graduating 93% “college ready.”</p>
<p>But, it is 99% white. It has NO students classified by the State as low income.</p>
<p>I did not have much difficulty in selecting the private when my S’s talented and gifted teacher in 2nd grade informed me “we have nothing here for your son” and suggested the private.</p>
<p>I’m saying that across the board, public schools (not counting magnets) cannot create as homogeneous a value since they cannot screen and select the students (and parents) based upon these values.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t agree with the “across the board” thinking. It’s simply not true at all public high schools. Although it’s true they can’t screen and select, they certainly can foster an atmosphere where academic excellence is valued and honored. It certainly is at my D’s very competitive public high school. (For the record, she was offered a full tuition scholarship at the pricey private school in our area but turned it down. I only add that so it doesn’t sound like I’m all sour grapey. 
)</p>
<p>heldreth: You wrote:</p>
<p>"And my point was that diversity is more than diversity of skin color. "</p>
<p>However your original comment was STRICTLY concerned with skin color. I agree that there is more to diversity than skin color but you are the one that used skin color as a barometer for diversity. I was simply responding to your post.</p>
<p>The reason it irritated me is that I don’t see private school kids as being any more sheltered than anyone else. Around here private schools require far more of a commitment to community service than public schools. I went to public schools in an area where there were good public schools. However, in some areas the public schools really do not measure up to the privates.</p>
<p>I think the problem is that there is such a difference in public and private schools around the country that it is very difficult to generalize about them.</p>
<p>Frankly, I wasn’t that concerned that my kids have a diverse school environment. It wasn’t my key priority in setting up their education. They seem to have done OK without having been thrown into the melting pot of the Dallas public schools.</p>
<p>Proudpatriot, please read the next sentence in my post you are referring to. I thought it was clear, but maybe not. The wide variety of clubs and organizations in our school - which are started by students, not teachers - indicates quite a diverse population that goes beyond skin color. </p>
<p>I’m sorry, but when you have criteria for admission, whether it be a $35,000 tuition bill, a certain religious faith, or a certain test score, your population is being sheltered. Most public schools have to take everyone, warts & all. Saying a population of students is sheltered from certain types of students not derogatory, it just is. I’m not trying to generalize to every private school; obviously your experience has been different. My daughter has made a group of fantastic friends in her LAC who came from many parts of the country and all went to private schools. She loves them, but her first hand impression is that they had a high school experience that didn’t allow them to interact with people from as many walks of life as she did. I do agree that private schools have a greater community service requirement than public schools. In our school, only IB has a formal requirement. But there is a difference in requiring a commitment to community service, and doing service because you see the first hand needs of others. My older D volunteered at a rape crisis center and a shelter for battered women while in college. Not the kind of volunteering for the faint of heart.</p>