<p>I'm nearing the half-way point of my undergraduate years, and I need to decide which of two directions I want to go in my life: a) a PhD program in some area of the humanities with the hopes of entering some sort of scholarly profession, or b) some more 'pragmatic' area, probably law and/or public policy.</p>
<p>I'm not good science by any means, and I don't have a head for math, either. So I long ago despaired of going to medical school. In high school, my favorite subjects were History followed by English. Right now, I'm attempting to major in History, Classics, and Philosophy, three of the most useless areas of inquiry when it comes to sustaining society from a strictly survivalist point of view. If I had it my way, I would have been smart enough to go into biomedical engineering, or physical chemistry research, or agricultural chemistry and food science, any number of areas that make a real difference in the lives of billions of people around the world. But it didn't turn out that way. My friends who are majoring in chemistry get to go to medical school and make a difference in the world. I get to translate Plato and fear that I might actually be wasting my life while the world goes to hell all around me. </p>
<p>We live in troubled times. I made the mistake of reading the newspaper today, and what did I find? A weak Dollar, the Fed putting out an even bleaker economic forecast, threats of war with Iran, global warming (it's 75 degrees where I am and it's the week of Thanksgiving!), religious and political instability all over the world, oil prices approaching $100 a barrel. I could go on, but I won't. My country is becoming a laughing-stock throughout the world, and we are reviled by more people than ever before. Oh, and I forgot to mention those certain people whose life goal it is to blow themselves up inside any number of shopping malls or football stadiums in America. I can't help but feel that the country and life that I love is rapidly approaching the point of no return, and I can't just sit by idly and watch it. </p>
<p>More and more I feel like a provincial 4th Century Roman watching as his storied empire, with all its past glories and triumphs, be swallowed up by outside forces. I don't to just sit and watch my world be destroyed by 21st century Vandals and Ostrogoths. I wish there was something I could do.</p>
<p>These are dark times. Do I really want to spend my life studying Medieval
Syrian monasticism or psycho-sexual undertones in the short stories of Flannery O'Connor? What the world needs now, it seems to me, is some everyday heroism and commonplace selflessness, and people willing to make sacrifices, not people who want to shut themselves up and isolate themselves from the "real world", however morally or spiritually edifying their scholarly endeavors might be.</p>
<p>Sorry if I offend any humanities scholars or students out there. Hey, I'm one of them too. I'm just very conflicted about what path to take. I guess you could say that a sense of duty, or urgency, is compelling me to go the government/public service route in a vain attempt to do my part to save us from ourselves. But what if that's not what I'm good at? I might just fail the LSAT and not even get into law school. What if I would be an infinitely better scholar/teacher than lawyer/diplomat? That doesn't seem fair to me. It's downright obscene. Let's face it--- no one is going to live or die based upon how many peer-reviewed articles I can churn out in the course of a year. I may get tenure someday, but somewhere in the world people will still be starving and homeless and their homes ravaged by war. The day I retire could be the same day that a political prisoner is executed in secret, or the day that someone finally figures out how to smuggle a dirty bomb into the NYC subway. What's the point? Seriously, what good will it do for me to follow MY dreams and do what is best for ME if it won't do any good for anybody else?</p>
<p>Sorry to rant. This has been troubling me for awhile now. I hope to get some good comments on this. Please don't let me down...</p>