I am looking over the essays I need to write and have been totally stumped because I can’t think of a lot of positive stuff to write. What I mean is those “yeah sure I faced adversity but everything is GREAT now and I am the perfect student!”
When I think of why I want to go to college, I think about how miserable and unsatisfying my life is. I think about being
depressed and having anxiety. I think about how desperate I am to find something more out of life, and how the only way to get it is through college (in my opinion.)
I think about how my environment is slowly harming me and how college would be a much more suitable fit to keep me from slipping into a worse state of mind.
Then I realize that is way too depressing to write. They probably wouldn’t want to admit someone like that, and they’d probably assume that because of my depression I won’t be able to work as well as other people.
Still, I want to write honestly. If they ask about who I am and why I’m doing this, I want them to hear the WHOLE story.
The reaction after reading a college essay needs to be “what a cool person, I want to meet him/her,” not “what a sad story, poor thing.”
I would caution you that college is meant to be a place to get an education, not a cure for depression. If you look through the college life board, you will find plenty of students who are depressed and/or anxious while at college. Please consider treating your depression and finding the right place to continue your education as two separate and equally important problems. If you don’t treat your depression, you will most likely bring it with you to college. The excitement of being in a new place will only keep it away for so long.
I think that you have to be very careful. You don’t want to make the point that once you get to university your intention is to sit in your dorm room, skip class, and be unhappy. On the other hand, depression is very common among very smart students and is not something that you need to be embarrassed about. It is however something that you need to overcome.
I am wondering whether you should be getting treatment for depression. I have seen or heard of many cases of students who have overcome this, often with medical help with may include medication, and done exceptionally well. I think of depression as a chemical imbalance, much like diabetes or allergies or high cholesterol – any of the above (and a lot of other things) can usually be treated effectively but needs to be dealt with.
When I applied to UT Austin, I wrote about my smoking habit, along with depression, poverty, multiple abuses, etc. It was not happy, because my entire life has been struggle after painful struggle. But I turned it into a story. I used the motif of a lit cigarette throughout the essay, and ended with me smothering the bud out. I spoke about my personal hardships along with the hardships of my family, and how motivated I am to change our lives using education and a degree to get a stable career that I can use to take care of my mother and younger sisters. How in high school, I planned on killing myself, but after taking a gap year and attending a local college, I felt inspired because they offered me aid and I felt like someone believed in me. I bettered myself and applied to UT because I wanted to push myself and be a becon of honor for my family (and what other Texas university has such an honorable reputation? ) I used to smoke behind a local Target all night, and began with that, then ended it with crushing the bud under my shoe and looking at the sunrise. Cliché, I know, but ultimately I was accepted with aid and a scholarship. It was inspiring, and I think that is what made my essay both vital to understand WHO I am along with engaging to read.
You have lived a harsh life, and its ok to admit that since it is part of who you are. However, education is important and vital to a better life, and you should emphasize that so they can see your will to survive this cruel game that life has handed you. Colleges want to see personal improvement; admissions cares about POTENTIAL, not happy stories about living with your aunt one summer. They arent looking for a fun little story for entertainment; they are looking for YOU. They want to know why you have what it takes to be a good fit and why you desire an education.
Edit: Also its ok to want to attend college to flee from your current situation and find a better life. It sounds like that is what you are looking for. There is nothing wrong with that. In a sense, most of us are in college for the same thing: chance at a better life. My advice is to be honest, open yourself up. Let them get to know you. Just dont leave it on a negative note; they want to see if college can inspire you, so focus on that.
Okay, so if I try to give it an inspirational spin and don’t make myself sound desperate, would that be okay?
Like, if I were to write about how my anxiety and depression shaped my character into someone they should accept into their college.
Whenever I got home from school I would always put on my headphones and immediately drown out the silence with sound because I was afraid of being alone with my thoughts. Part of me didn’t want to think negative things about myself but the other part of me said that some of that stuff was true.
One day I sat down, took out the headphones, and started really looking at myself. For hours I would just sit there and think, trying to organize my thoughts and really evaluate everything that was going on. After years and years of this (plus regular therapy) I have slowly taken back my identity, albeit modified af.
When I talk to other people, however, I notice a difference in the way we talk. I just couldn’t adjust. Every interaction felt fake because in order to make them happy I just did what I thought they would like instead of being myself.
Then, in this past summer, I attended a college prep class. The experience made me fully realize why I needed to go to college: not for the degree, but for the experience and relief it would give me.
If I wrote something like this (edited and better written, if course) would that be fine?
Yeah, it should be ok as long as you focus on your self improvement and hopes for college. Lots of kids write about their mental demons and stuff; just make sure you focus on bettering yourself. If it seems like you cant handle college or not had some kid of self improvement, they might think you are better off taking a gap year or not going to college at all.
Also, yes you DO want the degree Colleges are educational institutions and they dont want to offer an admission spot for someone who doesnt care for a degree. Maybe instead focus on how you want an experience to broaden your mind and outlook, and believe that a degree is a way of proving that life is worth it to yourself. That you desire to hold that degree in your hands and want to tell yourself “I did it” at the end. Idk something like that maybe.
Remember, college is about degrees. They want to see potential, and want you to finish in 4 years.
Please dont say “not for the degree” anywhere lol because its an educational institution
The tips that intparent linked are very helpful. I think maybe because my essay was a personal “sob story”, I feel like its ok to be honest. I really was homeless before (we once spent New Years in our tiny car, and we usually spend Christmas at McDonalds - not because of tradition but because we have nowhere else to go). At the same time, those terrible experiences shaped me into who I am: a kid who commits herself to her family and thinks that a degree is the key to a better life with health insurance and food. Yes I have mental illnesses, but my main focus was on my hardships and how I have (and am still trying) to overcome them.
Have an adult read your essay. Focus on how you need a degree. Discuss your self improvement. It could work, but you need to angle it in an inspiring light.
Many kids discuss their hardships and mental illnesses, and sometimes its a bore to read. Dont make it boring; make it engaging and inspiring and most of all convincing. Remember, they want to know who you are and your potential. That is the end goal.
Have a trusted adult familiar with college admissions read over any essay where you discuss depression. You can be hurt in admissions if you make admissions worry that you might be too mentally fragile to handle the stress of going away to college.
Another Question:
I’d say that my life isn’t all that eventful, which is kind of a huge problem.
One of the essays (for U Rochester) is asking for my “ability to do”, but I can’t think of anything really important I’ve done. I’ve done stuff like draw, play music, and write, but I personally think it hasn’t amounted to anything (or, at the very least, it won’t appear that way to colleges.)
I haven’t done any huge projects, they’re just kinda personal hobbies.
Ex.
-I wrote a story when I was in third grade, and kept adjusting it as I got older to make it less cringey. BUT, they’re scattered around and I haven’t shown people it. I spent a lot of time just drawing the characters and coming up with different scenarios.
I don’t think this will be good to right about because I didn’t make something out of it other than a couple of weird OCs and a story that isn’t all that good.
-I draw stuff and I’ve posted some of it online, BUT only a few things and most of it sucks. Nothing I would ever talk about to admissions, just a bunch of regret.
-I play an instrument, but I haven’t done anything with it either. Performing at the concerts was required so I can’t write about that, and I’m not that good at playing (not worth of an essay.)
I feel like nothing about me is special enough to get into the colleges I want. Sure, I’m an okay student, but I can’t really find what makes me stand out. I don’t think I have an amazing story to tell, and I don’t think they will find me interesting.
OP, you are very critical of yourself. Nobody expects you to have done something “important” at your age. I think this -
" -I wrote a story when I was in third grade, and kept adjusting it as I got older to make it less cringey. BUT, they’re scattered around and I haven’t shown people it. I spent a lot of time just drawing the characters and coming up with different scenarios" - could be a very interesting essay.
Lastly, I will echo what some others have said and suggest you seek counseling. It sounds like you are depressed and this is something that you should seek assistance with right away. Good luck to you.
) I used to smoke behind a local Target all night, and began with that, then ended it with crushing the bud under my shoe and looking at the sunrise. Cliché, I know, but ultimately I was accepted with aid and a scholarship. It was inspiring, and I think that is what made my essay both vital to understand WHO I am along with engaging to read.
Colleges are educational institutions and they dont want to offer an admission spot for someone who doesnt care for a degree. Maybe instead focus on how you want an experience to broaden your mind and outlook, and believe that a degree is a way of proving that life is worth it to yourself. That you desire to hold that degree in your hands and want to tell yourself “I did it” at the end. Idk something like that maybe.