<p>I don't think there's anything wrong w/ indulging one's children - - just so long as everyone understands that these are indulgences, not necesscities. Sadly, I think that despite our best individual efforts as parents, our children can still develop unreasonable senses of entitlement. At one end is jym626's S's request for a cost of living increase, which is merely amusing; at the other is a friend's son, who, after being awarded the 6 yr old family car (when parents bought a new car) complained, "It's not like you really spent any money to get me a car." </p>
<p>Similarly, at one point, I floated the idea of purchasing D an inexpensive car (far more of a luxury in NYC than in the suburbs or exurbs). She pulled some luxury car ad from a folder she had been keeping, stating that the vehicle pictured was the one she wanted. I turned on my heels and said, "Then you certainly won't be happy with any car I had in mind for you." Now she is happy for the modest increase in her allowance for the occasional ZipCar and patiently waiting for the car she and D2 will SHARE if D2 attends neighboring college</p>
<p>^^^ nyc-
Yes, we were most amused by DS's request for a Cost of Living increase. Gotta give him credit for trying, and for the good laugh. (He has a very dry sense of humor, and knew he'd get nowhere with that line of reasoning, but it was an entertaining verbal exchange). </p>
<p>I looked into the ZipCar option as, since DS sadly totalled his 10 yr old car this summer just before leaving for college, we are "transportationally challenged" this winter break. So far we've juggled the cars/drivers, but this will continue to be a challenge as carpooling and public transportation are not options where we live/work. The zipcar is a great idea, but it is expensive! It looks absolutely great if you only need it for an hour or 2 and can get to/from the location of the car, but for us the closest one is not walking distance to anything (well, ironically there is one located in the office park where DH used to work for many years, but he isnt there any more).</p>
<p>Oh, by the way, along the lines of your friend's son saying his parents hadn't spent anything on the car they gave him, DS tried (again half-kidding) to say that we "made money" when he totalled his car because we got a check for the current value of the car and we wouldnt have to pay insurance on that car any more. We quickly educated him on the need to keep him on our insurance (even as a "student away at college" driver) and the cost our insurance will increase with his accident and the cost thereof on the record. Fortunately it was one of those stupid minor accidents, but unfortunately the front end/hood of his small car went under the bumper of a big AMC van thing that started to go and then stopped short in front of him when turning right. This required a one day repair/bumper replacement of the AMC, but it totalled his car.</p>
<p>So, what car did your d have her eye on ???</p>
[quote]
Zipcars live in your neighborhood! Drive MINIs, VWs, cars that haul and more. By the hour or day. Includes gas, insurance and reserved parking. Simply reserve online, walk a block and drive away.
[/quote]
But you have to be 21 to rent a zipcar. Will that work for your girls, nyc??</p>
<p>that depends on the contract.....Syracuse contracted with zipcar that any student over 19 can rent.....not sure how other schools/cities work.....</p>
<p>Thats interesting Rodney. The website, where one can apply o line for a zipcard, says 21 and over and has some specific rules about a driving history (accidents, tickets, etc) too. Do you think zipcars changed their policy or do you think the individual schools cna set their regulations? That would put them at risk if its inconsistent with zipcar's policy. Maybe Zipcars tightened their rules after some negative experiences?? Anyone know?</p>
<p>Ugh...I never even received one cent for allowance, let alone four dollars.</p>
<p>And a Blackberry? I've never even had a cell phone...</p>
<p>My parents don't pay for my gas, but then again, that's probably because I don't even have a car (the only car I ever DID receive was a 20-year-old Toyota Camry when I was 19, which they donated to charity one day without even asking me).</p>
<p>Yeah, the girl in the article isn't going to receive much pity from me.</p>
<p>D1 is away at college and her school, like Syracuse, has contracted with ZipCar so that 19 yr olds are eligible. And it is great for short trips - - a group of girls will split the cost and go to the mall or out to dinner and a movie, etc. We haven't investigated having her use it for trips home.</p>
<p>I agree to an extent with MOWC. We all want the best for our children. We do what we can. By the standards of many other countries, we are all spoiled Americans, each one of us.</p>
<p>I know parents who do not give their kids an allowance and were appalled that I did. However, they gave their kids lunch money, snack money, drink money, entertainment money. If their kids went to a party where gifts were needed, they supplied the money. They pay for all kinds of activities and extras for their kids. So an allowance may not be as big as one would think, depending on what it is expected to cover. I give my son an allowance of $40 a week. He can bag his lunch, snacks, bring a drink from home or buy. He usually brings his water bottle to school, along with a bag lunch and snacks. He pays nearly all of his expenses including a gift for the giving tree, donation for some charity. Purchases things he likes or needs at the bookstore. I know I spend less for him than I did with my other kids and less than most parents around here spend on their kids. All that change you give them for snacks or the drink machine alone can add up.</p>
<p>But if you give them an allowance to buy lunch at school, but then they are able to take free food from your refrigerator for lunch in order to "save money", where's the financial lesson? And who wouldn't take advantage of that?</p>
<p>^^ No it doesn't. An allowance is a set amount that the person learns to use to define the boundaries of what he/she can spend. Asking for daily (or hourly, in the case of my kid) handouts is NOT an allowance.</p>
<p>I think the 'financial lesson' value of an allowance is overstated. The way to teach responsible financial behavior is through example. If you live well within your means and seek out good value in what you buy, then your children will learn from your example. If you buy a house you can't afford and drive a car you don't need, then your children will most likely get the wrong message. JMHO.</p>
<p>"But if you give them an allowance to buy lunch at school, but then they are able to take free food from your refrigerator for lunch in order to "save money", where's the financial lesson?"</p>
<p>The lesson is that if you take the few minutes it takes to make a lunch at home and remember to bring it, you get to keep the money that you would have otherwise spent on the school lunch. Seems like a financial lesson to me.</p>
<p>
[quote]
No it doesn't. An allowance is a set amount that the person learns to use to define the boundaries of what he/she can spend. Asking for daily (or hourly, in the case of my kid) handouts is NOT an allowance.
[/quote]
Well, you can decide whether or not to actually use your lunch money for lunch. I've gone many, many times without lunch in order to save money.</p>
<p>Back to the OP: "Jodi Hamilton began her senior year of high school in Woodcliff Lake, N.J., this fall on the usual prosperous footing. Her parents were providing a weekly allowance of $100 and paying for private Pilates classes, as well as a physics tutor who reported once a week to their 4,000-square-foot home."</p>
<p>I know parents who give their kids monthly allowances such that pretty much everything comes out of that monthly allowance: Clothing (so they can decide for themselves whether to blow it all on designer jeans or get several cheaper sets), school-related expenses, lunch, gas for a car, insurance payment for the car, etc. It's an attempt to get them to learn how to budget and while I don't do it myself with my high schoolers, it's really not a bad idea, and $100/week might not be excessive.</p>
<p>And I know the "private Pilates" is expected to be snooty and sneer-worthy, but there are quite a few kids here on CC who, judging by their levels of achievement in various musical or sports activities, easily spent far more of their parents' money in terms of the cost of their music lessons, art lessons, soccer camps, etc. What's inherently worse about private Pilates lessons compared to private violin lessons, for example? And I don't see what's extravagant about a tutor at all for someone who could benefit from it.</p>