Assistance w/Academic Dismissal Appeal?

Parents Forum
1

Earlier today I was dismissed from my University for failing to keep a certain GPI (not GPA). Any advice to help me revise my academic appeal letter that would be swell! Post-haste encouraged since there is a deadline. I know it’s lengthy but this is literally my LAST CHANCE at graduating college. Please be as honest as possible in your feedback. It’s really hard for me to talk about my mental/emotional/physical issues because I’m a generally closed off person but the effect on my life is tremendous. Thanks for reading!

Some things redacted for privacy:

Dear Dean _____ and Members of the Academic Standards Committee,

I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from [X] University. After being put on academic probation in January I am not surprised, but still extremely perturbed to receive an email early today informing me of my dismissal. I’m writing with the hope that you will reinstate me for my final year at [X]. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to explain my circumstances.

I accept my failure to secure a sufficient GPI (and by personal standards, GPA) along with the needed 12 credits per semester to remain in good academic standing at the University. I have already taken measures in the form of summer classes to ensure I finish my time at [X] with the needed 128 credits to graduate. One major mistake I made academically was trying to take on a science minor when it only hurt my GPA/GPI. The workload was too much for me and I was neither happy nor enjoying the classes so spring 2018 I switched my minor to Classical Studies. I am passionate about the classics and these classes allows me to succeed academically, as seen on my transcript. I plan to take majority these classes to fulfil my minor and drastically improve my GPA/GPI.

On a personal note, in the summer of 2016 right, after my freshman year, my father was discovered to have a thoracic aortic aneurysm that was only 0.4 cm away from the size needed to operate. Both jobs my father worked were in manual labor, which is exactly what doctors warned could cause a rupture. We later learned he also had a bicuspid valve (as opposed to a tricuspid) and an irregular heartbeat on top of that. This ordeal sent us on a two-year journey through the offices of cardiologists and cardiovascular surgeons alike. My father’s side of the family is ripe with heart diseases and littered with death due to stroke and premature heart attacks. It is guaranteed that he will have open heart surgery and be out of work (our major source of income) for an unspecified duration, as well as the fact that he could die on the operating table or earlier if the aneurysm ruptures. This has put a tremendous strain on my mother and I as we try to plan for my father’s surgery while emotionally supporting him as he goes through this process. It ultimately culminated in my mother having a mini-stroke in the spring of 2017. Now she takes anti-seizure medication and sees a neurologist as routinely as my father sees his cardiologist. She was also hospitalized during the last few weeks of Spring semester 2018 for what we thought at the time to be a heart attack (thankfully it was not).

Mentally, these events have put a tremendous strain on myself. Academically, this caused me struggle, I am the first person in my family to attend college and I felt the pressure of failing my parents, especially during a time when they didn’t need the added stress, and my family who thinks the world of me. This caused me to mentally shut down. There was no one I could turn to without exposing my academic downward spiral and I wasn’t ready to face the shame so I tried to hide everything. Even now I feel a sense of hopelessness I can’t shake and my notice of academic probation in January 2018 sent everything over the edge. To cope with these feelings and my academic status I started binge eating. This is particularly dangerous because I also suffer from Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and fluctuations in weight/insulin levels could be disastrous for me. My first step in getting myself on track academically is by seeking professional help. I am starting the process now and, if reinstated, I can update the university with progress reports or even check in with Student Health. There are many things I should have done sooner to prevent my current situation and going to Student Health Services is one of them.

Moving forward with my plans for academic success if reinstated, I will make studying and reviewing class material my top priority. Homework has never been an issue for me; it is staying on top of lecture material on a daily basis that I struggle with so I will minimize or remove distractions such as social media (I have already deactivated majority of my social media accounts) and extraneous websites that only waste time when I should be reviewing. This past year I communicated with both my academic and [X] advisor as well as professors in classes I struggled with, but not as much as I should have. It is my fault alone that I didn’t utilize University resources fully until I was too far behind, and if reinstated I will make extensive use of Advising staff to stay on top of what is expected of me.

Additionally, during the 2017-18 semester I attempted to take on much more than I could handle in terms of work/volunteering which limited time spent going to office hours or reviewing lecture material. Many days I surrendered office hours for work hours or volunteering shifts and that was my choice. By the end of spring semester, I started taking steps to reduce the time spent on non-school matters for next year and will uphold them if my status as a student at [X] is restored. I was offered a position in [X]’s Community Service Center after volunteering there for three years and will make that my sole extracurricular focus to ensure time for the extra help needed to succeed academically. I plan to set up meetings with the Community Service Center director so we can make a plan to put my academics first without sacrificing my time in the CSC.

Going to school in [city] has been a dream of mine since the age of 14 when I was first introduced to it during an 8th grade field trip. I love [X] University and sincerely wish to graduate from this institution, making me the first person in my immediate family with a college degree. I want to walk with my friends and peers at commencement, proud of our achievements as the class of 2019, to have my advisor announce my name as I walk across the stage to receive my diploma and to serve [X] and the city of [X] as a Program Manager in [X]’s Community Service Center by bringing enrichment programs to youth. This is a title as well as my admission into [X] University are two positions I fought hard for, and I would like to keep both of them. I am willing to do whatever it takes to get myself back on track academically and mentally. I have big dreams for my future and so much more left to do at [X] if you would give me the chance, and I hope more than anything that you will give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.

Sincerely,

Me

2

Are you appealing a permanent or temporary dismissal?

This is a long letter that focuses too much on your problems and not enough on appropriate solutions. How does the committee know that if they grant your appeal, you will succeed? You write near the end: " I am willing to do whatever it takes to get myself back on track academically and mentally." Put this statement earlier rather than later, then explain what specifically you have done/will do to accomplish this:
a) Who have you spoken to and what specific plan do you have to get back on track academically?

  • you have some specifics but they are scattered in your letter instead of organized in one section
    b) What treatment and support system have you sought in order to get back on track mentally?
  • this needs more detail and supporting info

Review committees at different universities may have different expectations for conditions to grant an appeal. On the committees I’ve served, we would expect some specifics on how you would make use of campus resources going forward, and also some documentation from a doctor/counselor/mental health professional that you have a diagnosed condition and a treatment/management plan underway. If you cannot provide this documentation, for my committee you might fare better asking for a temporary separation/leave of absence to give yourself time to seek treatment, and to ask for permission to return after taking a semester or two off, rather than being permanently dismissed.

If my committee were reading this version of your appeal, our conclusion would be that you have unresolved personal issues extending the last 2 years that you claim to have affected your mental health and thus your academic performance, and yet you do not appear to have sought any professional help - you do have some fuzzy statement about “starting the process” and that you might “even check in with Student Health” but these are not concrete plans with any documentation or specifics that would encourage my committee to have high confidence that you will succeed if your appeal were granted. My committee would have compassion, but would probably decide that you could use the time away from school to obtain appropriate treatment and put yourself in a healthier state and stronger position to succeed.

3

Much much too long.

Paragraph one-why you are writing.
Paragraph two-why your problems occurred
Paragraph three-what you intend to do about it. Be specific here.

That’s it.

4

Dear Dean _____ and Members of the Academic Standards Committee,

I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from [X] University, with the hope that you will reinstate me for my final year at [X]. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to explain my circumstances.

I accept my failure to secure a sufficient GPI (and by personal standards, GPA) along with the needed 12 credits per semester to remain in good academic standing at the University. I have already taken measures in the form of summer classes to ensure I finish my time at [X] with the needed 128 credits to graduate. I have also recently switched my minor from science, to Classical Studies: as my transcript shows, I have a better chance at academic success studying the classics, and this should improve my GPA.

On a personal note, I believe I was impacted by the health issues suffered by my parents in the last two years, particularly the aneurysm and cardiac issues suffered by my father, and the need to provide support for both my parents.

I am the first person in my family to attend college and have felt a lot of pressure to not let my family down. When my grades went down, I felt a lot of shame and tried to hide what was going on. I began to develop an eating disorder, which, combined with another diagnosis (polycystic ovarian syndrome), was a risk to my health as well as my studies.

I now fully realize that I need professional help for these emotional and physiological issues and am ATTACHING ANOTE FROM THE PROFESSIONAL I have started seeing and will continue to see in order to address the impact on my grades. I realize this is the most important step I can take toward better grades as well as health.

In order to improve my academic performance, I will take any measures requested or suggested by the university, including seeing an advisor and tutor weekly to help with time management and other challenges. I will also communicate more with professors and go to office hours. I HAVE TAKLED WITHMY ADVISOR ABOUT…and SET UP…

I will make academics my top priority, rather than work or volunteering, which meant less time for going to office hours or reviewing material. I have already taken steps to reduce time spent on non-school matters.

I was offered a position in [X]’s Community Service Center after volunteering there for three years and will make that my sole extracurricular focus to ensure time for the extra help needed to succeed academically. I am MEETING THIS WEEK with the Community Service Center director so we can make a plan to put my academics first without sacrificing my time in the CSC. I am attaching a NOTE OF RECOMMENDATION from him/her attesting to this goal.

I sincerely wish to graduate from {X}. In the future, I hope to work for he city of [X] as a Program Manager in [X]’s Community Service Center by bringing enrichment programs to youth.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to get myself back on track academically and mentally. Thank you for considering this appeal.

Sincerely,

Me

5

FY applicant, I sent a rewrite, posted above, and put in capitals some parts of sentences that deal with the kinds of concrete steps that need to be taken in order to show some changes in your functioning. You could also have a bulleted list at some point, perhaps attached to the letter.

You are a good writer and clearly have the ability to succeed academically. But the letter you wrote is not convincing at all, sorry. My impression is that there are emotional or psychological problems that you are understating because it really doesn’t add up, and without full awareness of your own challenges, explored in therapy, you will continue to have problems- at least in the eyes of the committee.

I would make appointments immediately with a counselor, your advisor and a tutor or coach and submit documentation of these. Any letters of recommendation you can secure would help too- for instance, from the Center where you volunteer.

I am sorry for your parent’s health problems but your role in supporting them isn’t clear, nor is the reason that their problems impacted your grades. A minor stroke, if a TIA, is not a good reason for anxiety either.

Be more specific about solutions. That is the advice from everyone here.

No matter what happens, your academic life is not over. There are other chances. In the meantime, perhaps you could work for the Center and continue on that path. And, if you have more solutions in place, maybe your appeal will be accepted.

Good luck.

6

Kudos to @compmom for her masterful editing and great advice.

A couple of small points: I would (as the OP originally did) also mention the mother’s stroke along with the father’s aneurysm and cardiac issues. Unless it was truly minor and didn’t interfere with the mother’s support of the father, or put more pressure for emotional support on the OP. And the OP should pay special attention to little grammatical things like appropriate case for pronouns. It’s “a strain on my mother and me” (not “my mother and I”) and “a strain on me” (not “on myself”). In general, the OP is clearly a good writer, but eliminating small errors like that will bolster a reader’s confidence that she does in fact have the capacity to complete college.

Some substantive big points:

The very best thing about @compmom 's edit is that she softens and even eliminates the aspects of the first draft that had a deeply negative effect on me. This letter has to walk a fine line between showing the depth and seriousness of the problems that beset the OP and led to her unsatisfactory performance, and instilling confidence that those same serious problems will not continue to derail the OP. As the original letter makes clear, the problems have not gone away and may well get worse. The @compmom edit soft-pedals that, which is appropriate for this kind of letter, but if the OP is going to succeed in her petition there’s a good chance that at some point she will have to look an administrator in the eye and explain why she’s not going to turn into a wreck again. Credibly, succinctly, specifically. Whether or not she puts it in her letter now, the OP should write (and revise) that paragraph, so that she’s ready when the time comes. And if she doesn’t have specifics (e,g., therapist relationship and treatment plan), she should get them before the question is asked.

Does the OP need a minor to graduate? If not, drop it. It seems like a distraction. The OP can take courses that interest her, and that will bring up her GPI (whatever that is), without having to complete a minor. Tacking on an unnecessary minor (if it is unnecessary) is not a way to show that she is focused on graduating successfully.

7

What is a GPI?

In your case, I wonder:

  1. After being on probation, why didn’t you make these changes then
  2. If you were having family/health issues, why didn’t you take a semester leave?

A successful appeal must do several things:

  1. show that you understand what went wrong
  2. show that you take responsibility for the academic failures
  3. show that you have a plan for future academic success
  4. in a broad sense, show that you are being honest with yourself and the committee

Here are some examples:

http://collegeapps.about.com/od/Academic-Dismissals/a/Sample-Appeal-Letter-For-An-Academic-Dismissal.htm

Some of this is general, and some specific to your situation.

  1. search this topic on CC and you will see many other posts on academic appeals
  2. Make sure your letter states what the issue was that caused you to have academic difficulties
  3. Did you talk to your professors/dean of students about the issue?
  4. Did you make use of the many resources your school has? if not, why not?
  5. Find out what those resources are…e.g. counseling center, talking to professors, talking to your adviser, withdrawing from class, talking to dean, study groups, tutors, maybe taking incompletes,
  6. State how you would use those in the future
  7. How are you addressing what caused the issue?
  8. Think about if you should continue at college, or take a break.
  9. Think about if you should continue at a community college, to be close to your family
  10. How is your college funded? Will that continue?

In general, keep in mind what the college wants…they want students who can succeed. They need to know that you understand what the issue was, know now the resources that you can use, how the problems is resolved so you will not have academic issues in the future.

8

If you only do one thing…remove the word “perturbed.” I think it gets you off to the wrong start with the Committee. You can say you are upset or anxious or worried. But perturbed carries a connotation (to me) of being annoyed - and I don’t think you want to give that impression.

9

Thank you all of your wonderful feedback (especially @compmom for helpful tips on revision)! I appreciate how detailed you all are. This first letter was drafted IMMEDIATELY after receiving the email of notification and I can definitely see my emotions got the better of me in terms of long-windedness and ordered paragraphs. I emailed my academic advisor and they said recommendations are irrelevant so this letter really is all I have.

@JHS I don’t need a minor but I need the credits to graduate and have the spaces needed for a minor, so I thought why not? I get straight A’s in these classes so it will only boost my GPA/GPI (Grade point internal). I just feel that showing I’m driven enough to keep a minor, but smart enough to know when to quit something that is hurting me academically is a point I want to make since.

Also, I try to be very specific about my solutions but I feel like it just makes this letter very long.

Here’s a redrafted version (and for some reason it feels longer than ever):

Dear Dean [X] and Members of the Academic Standards Committee,

I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from [X] University. After being put on academic probation in January I am not surprised, but still extremely perturbed to receive an email early today informing me of my dismissal. I’m writing with the hope that you will reinstate me for my final year at [X]. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to explain my circumstances.

I accept my failure to secure a sufficient GPI (and by personal standards, GPA) along with the needed 12 credits per semester to remain in good academic standing at the University. I have already taken measures in the form of summer classes to ensure I finish my time at [X] with the needed 128 credits to graduate. I have also recently switched my minor from science to Classical Studies: as my transcript shows, I have a better chance at academic success studying the classics and this should improve my GPA/GPI. My GPA is currently above the 2.0 needed to remain in good academic standing and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get myself back on track.

On a personal note, I believe I was impacted by the health issues suffered by my parents in the last two years, particularly a discovered thoracic aortic aneurysm followed by a diagnosis of a bicuspid valve and irregular heartbeat suffered by my father in 2016, and the need to provide support for both my parents ever since. My mother had to do everything alone in regards to my father (setting up appointments, blood tests, etc.) and it put a heavy strain on her as well. She slowly deteriorated before my eyes and on our phone calls would confide in me that she was starting to lose her mental composure. This ultimately culminated in my mother having a mini-stroke spring of 2017. I was still away at school and being unable to help either of them during their times of need made me feel powerless.

Mentally, these events put a strain on myself and thus I struggled academically. I am the first person in my family to attend college and have felt a lot of pressure to not let my family down, so when my grades started going down I felt a lot of shame. I tried to hide what was going on from my friends and family and slowly began to develop an eating disorder, which, combined with another diagnosis (polycystic ovarian syndrome), was a risk to my health as well as my studies.

I now fully realize that I need professional help for these emotional and physiological issues and am seeking immediate help to get myself where I need to be to complete my final year at [X]. Once procured, will continue to see them in order to address the impact on my grades. I realize this is the most important step I can take toward better grades as well as my health. If needed later on in the appeal process or over the course of next year, I will send progress reports.

In order to improve my academic performance moving forward, I will take any measures requested or suggested by the university, including seeing an advisor and a tutor weekly to help with my time management and other challenges. I will also communicate with professors and utilize office hours much more than I have previous.

Further plans for academic success, if reinstated, are to make studying and reviewing class material my top priority. Homework has never been an issue for me; it is staying on top of lecture material on a daily basis that I struggle with so I will minimize or remove distractions such as social media (I have already deactivated majority of my social media accounts) and extraneous websites that take time away from reviewing. It is my fault alone that I didn’t utilize University resources fully until I was too far behind, and if reinstated I have already talked to my [X] advisor to set up weekly check ins so I can inform her of my progress over the next two semesters.

I will make academics my top priority, rather than work or volunteering, which meant less time for going to office hours or reviewing material. I started taking steps to reduce the time spent on non-school matters for next year and will uphold them if my status as a student at [X] is restored. I was offered a position in [X]’s Community Service Center after volunteering there for three years and will make that my sole extracurricular focus to ensure time for the extra help needed to succeed academically. I am reaching out to Community Service Center’s director so we can make a plan to put my academics first without sacrificing my time in the CSC.

I love [X] University and sincerely wish to graduate from this institution, making me the first person in my immediate family with a college degree. I hope to serve [X] and the city of [X] as a Program Manager in [X]’s Community Service Center by bringing enrichment programs to youth. This is a title as well as my admission into [X] University are two positions I fought hard for, and I would like to keep both of them. I have big dreams for my future and so much more left to do at [X] if you would give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.

Sincerely,

OP

10

@CValle I have removed perturbed in favor of upset

11

You still have some grammatical errors (“Mentally, these events put a strain on myself” – should read "a strain on me, “utilize office hours much more than I have previous.” should be “previously”). And it’s good that you removed that line about your father’s side of the family being “ripe” with heart diseases, since the correct word is “rife”. But you’re a very good writer and the revision is much improved. Good luck!

12

@bopper Both questions you posed are valid and I try to answer the first one, but I continually run into the problem of my letter becoming a novel. It’s supposed to be short and concise, yet also address every issue that led to my failure in a compelling way to appeal their decision. I’m struggling to tell the entire story without it being a biography and finding it necessary to leave out some things for the sake of brevity. Also implementing my plans for remediation should be the focus more-so than the issues leading to now.

@patsmom I have corrected these errors. Thanks for double checking!

Thanks everyone for all the support

13

Sorry, too long on explaining spiral down and too short on specifics on how you will rise back up.

I would feel better about your chances if you could at least put down a date for a first appointment with a therapist. They will wonder why you haven’t already gotten help.

I think the most compassionate response- and honestly perhaps the most helpful in the long run, even though this isn’t what you want- is for them to require a year’s leave with full-time work or other constructive activity, and treatment by a therapist.

14

I read >200 appeal letters every year, and my committee would either deny this appeal - with the thought that the student could use the break from school to become healthy and then get a fresh start elsewhere as a transfer student - or we would recommend a temporary separation of at least 2 semesters, again with the thought that the student needs the time away to resolve health issues. Which decision we make would depend on the student’s academic record since matriculation, and how many credits the student is from completing a degree. These are difficult decisions, but we do always keep in mind what we think is best for the student. For my committee to grant this appeal, there would need to be documentation of a diagnosis and ongoing treatment.

15

@compmom and @dazedandbemused thank you so much for your input, I will put these to good use. I desperately want to come back for my senior year though; I have so much riding on college and want this more than anything. Honestly, not being admitted back to school would probably do worse for me than anything else ever could. Obviously, I can’t write that in the appeal though haha. I just want to convey that I will rise back up from this for my last year because I want this more than anything. I know that at this point this will be very hard to do since I am literally on the edge of a precipice I placed myself on.

Any extra advice would be greatly appreciated.

16

Okay guys here is a completely revised and reformatted version of my appeal draft. Hopefully, it is near the finished product. Thank you to those who have commented and continually supplied advice. I am ambitious, driven and will fight the hardest I can to have a second chance at my University’s education. I have tried to make my letter convey how serious I am about implementing change and outlining steps I will take. I thought that putting my personal issues last would detract from them overall, but also highlight their significance and impact on my academics.

I have four solid paragraphs of plans outlined for how to handle my academics and one for my mental/emotional state. I’ve poured over this letter for hours and if someone can lend a fresh pair of eyes that would be much appreciated. This still seems so long, but all so relevant.

Additionally, I am reaching out now to counselors and potential therapists but I can’t guarantee I’ll find someone to give me a definitive start date for treatment before this letter is due on 5/30.


Dear Dean [X] and Members of the Academic Standards Committee,

I am writing to appeal my academic dismissal from [X] University. I was not surprised, but still extremely upset to receive an email earlier today informing me of my dismissal. I'm writing with the hope that you will reinstate me for my final year at [X]. I greatly appreciate the opportunity to explain my circumstances.

I accept my failure to secure a sufficient GPI and the needed 12 credits per semester to remain in good academic standing at [X[, as well as a resultant drop in my GPA. I have already prepared summer classes to ensure I finish with 128 credits to graduate while retaking courses I struggled in. I have also decided to change my minor from science to Classical Studies: as my transcript shows, I have a better chance at academic success studying the classics for my GPA/GPI whilst also fulfilling credits needed to graduate. My GPA is above the 2.0 needed to remain in good academic standing and I am willing to do whatever it takes to get myself back on track and show an upward trend in GPA and GPI.

In order to improve my academic performance moving forward, I will take any measures requested or suggested by the university, including meeting with advisers or tutors weekly to help with coursework I may struggle with and to communicate better with the University. I will also seek help with class material by going to professors and teaching fellows much more than I have previously to eliminate the chance of falling behind. I will be proactive in seeking alternative help if I cannot make office hours by fully utilizing [X]'s Peer Tutoring program through the [X] to prevent my past mistakes. 

Further plans for academic success, if reinstated, are to make studying and reviewing class material my top priority. This past semester I struggled with staying on top of lecture material on a daily basis so I will minimize distractions such as social media (I have already deactivated majority of my social media accounts) and extraneous websites that take time away from reviewing. It is my fault alone that I didn’t fully utilize University resources, like the [X]’s [Insert specific advising office] until I was too far behind. If reinstated my [X] adviser already agreed to meet with me bi-monthly for academic planning.

I will make academics my top priority rather than work or volunteering, which meant less time for extra help or reviewing material this past academic year. I have taken steps to reduce time spent on non-school matters for next year, such as making my position as Program Manager in [X]'s Community Service Center my sole extracurricular focus to ensure time for the extra help to succeed academically. I am reaching out to the Community Service Center’s director to make a plan to put my academics first without sacrificing my time in the CSC.

On a personal note, I believe I was impacted by the health issues suffered by my parents in the last two years, particularly a discovered thoracic aortic aneurysm suffered by my father in 2016, and the need to provide support for both my parents ever since. My mother slowly lost her mental composure from taking care of my father and it ultimately culminated in a mini-stroke spring of 2017. These events put a strain on me and thus I struggled academically. I am also the first person in my family to attend college and felt the added pressure to not let them down. When my grades started falling I felt a lot of shame. I didn’t seek help sooner to recover my grades because I was ashamed and too stubborn to realize I couldn’t handle my situation alone. I tried to hide what was going on and developed an eating disorder, which, combined with another diagnosis (polycystic ovarian syndrome), was a risk to my health and my studies. 

I fully realize that I need professional help for these emotional and physiological issues and am seeking assistance to get myself where I need to be to complete my final year at [X]. I have reached out to [X]’s [X] Clinic and will continue to see them or whomever they refer to address the impact on my grades. This is the most important step I can take toward better grades as well as my health. 

I love [X] University and sincerely wish to graduate from this institution, making me the first person in my immediate family with a college degree. I hope to serve  [X] and the city of [X] as a Program Manager in [X]’s Community Service Center by bringing enrichment programs to youth. This title as well as my admission into [X] University are two positions I fought hard for, and I would like to keep both of them. I have big goals for my future and so much more left to do at [X] if you would give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.
17

You are in a bind because you are using emotional distress to explain your sinking grades but since the problem is not yet diagnosed or treated, it is also a legitimate reason for the school to feel you will continue to have challenges. This letter is very well written but you have sought help late in the game and mainly for the appeal. I think it will be good for you to take a break and then return. You can send this along- it is a good letter - but please understand that rejection is not the end of the world and may even be a caring response to your situation.

18

@compmom Thank you tremendously for all the help you’ve given me during this very stressful and upsetting time. Your feedback has been monumental. I do also think that my academic situation has sped things along in terms of my mental situation, but that’s how I am, unfortunately. I want to believe that I can handle everything in my life as a one man army until something extreme happens like this and push comes to shove. It’s not that I don’t acknowledge issues too late in the game, it’s that I seek assistance too late due to the shame and embarrassment I feel.

I know that rejection isn’t the end. but when you’re someone like me who’s had very fortunate breaks in terms of amazing academics some would only dream of, just to have the ending of a 17 year academic journey ripped away from you one year from the diploma, it feels like the end of the world. Everything I’ve been primed for, dreamed of and hope for my life is essentially shattered because the 10 year plan isn’t working anymore and it’s all my fault.

I will continue to revise and take into account everyone’s suggestions moving forward before submission.

19

It it not wise to have inflexible “ten year plans.” Nothing is “shattered.” Parents on these boards have kids ork now kids who have gone through all kinds of things and come out the other end, thriving. If you feel like it is the “end of the world” if your appeal is not accepted, PLEASE go to a counselor on an emergency basis.

IF your appeal is not accepted, try to negotiate a year’s leave so you can return in better shape to succeed.

I am sending you a private message.

20

As a parent who was in your situation many years ago, I would reiterate what compmom has said. Your journey is not being ripped away from you, and you need to stop viewing it that way. I would not take a summer class to get back on track to graduate on time, and I’m not sure I would ask to return to school in the fall. Instead, I would propose a plan to take a leave of absence to get your health - both physical and mental - in order, and to spend time with your parents. Family is obviously important to you, so don’t let that 10-year keep you from meeting your own emotional needs. Your degree will still be there waiting for you a year from now, but if you rush back, and struggle through your final year, what shape will you and your parents be in? If your parents need your support, be there for them, while you still can. Their needs won’t wait.