<p>You know, I hesitate to post anything in a thread to which you've contributed because you continue to take everyone's remarks as insults to you or your D. And I have found myself hesitating to post because once you get going, you "hijack" the thread and the topic that was started gets lost in your unecessary, endless defense of every choice you make. CC certainly welcomes everyone to post all about their experiences, choices and opinions. But after two years of largely peaceful interchange, I resent the degree to which you have turned so many worthy discussions into adversarial arguments. Not everything everybody posts in a thread to which you have contributed is about or directed at YOU. My post was by way of general information to the general CC population and those who may be trying to gather information about choosing a monologue about dialects in auditions and why they are usually frowned upon - not a swipe at your D's monologue choices - I don't even know what she used. I'm thrilled she was so successful but that doesn't change the fact that generally speaking monologues needing dialects are not the preferred choice. Please try to relax a little and allow others to express their opinions without taking everything so personally. You'll be doing yourself and everyone else a huge favor.</p>
<p>notarebel, i may have protested a little about how i've been "helped" on lauren's choice of monologue. but, how unbelieveable that a young woman would come on this forum and belittle another young woman and their accomplishments. i didn't say a word about mt or bm. and i've certainly never had anything negative to say to you. please, who are you to demean lauren? i can't even continue, i'm speechless in the face of such at attack. regardless, what lauren does or does not pursue in college, she is the finest young woman god ever put on this earth and you will not belittle her.</p>
<p>ok, since i'm such a horrible person on these forums. good bye to all you kind compassionate souls. i realize most of you are from the northeast and it's a different culture. here in the south, we treat each other with kindness and courtesy. i'm sorry to have been such a bother to you wonderful people.</p>
<p>MrsArk, in all due respect, some of these posts back and forth lately are too much "drama" for me. I have been participating on these forums for almost three years and this has got to be one of the most civil, helpful and supportive forums that I have ever seen on the internet and particularly with regard to these topics. I have not seen this kind of tone until recently. </p>
<p>I think this thread was to do with audition help. Even you posted helpful feedback to someone that I even agree with...you mentioned that Millie is a bit overdone. You did not put the girl down and were helpful and gave good advice. </p>
<p>Likewise, you raised some issues to do with auditioning such as costume changes for monologues and I did not post a response to that but others said what I would have said....like Freelance's post...I have not seen kids alter their clothing for the monologues, no. Does it mean it will hurt your child if she does? Of course not but people were just offering what they have read about college auditions with regard to monologues. Same with the discussion of dialects. I even posted that it might have been just fine at the colleges you went to and you said it even worked for your daughter at OCU and I think that is great. I was saying that I agree with you that that IS acting, but wanted you to be aware of what SOME college audition literature, both general guidebooks and acting coaches, as well as some specific do's and don't put out by some of the musical theater departments we have gone to, do mention not to use dialects. Since this is a discussion forum that MANY people read, others were bringing it up so as to inform ALL readers, not just you. It was not about your child specifically. It was meant to be helpful information because many are reading and trying to learn this stuff. I also think you might want to read my post again because my comment about age appropriateness had NOTHING to do with your daughter's monologue. That was the furthest thing from my mind when posting that point. I was mentioning that the colleges put out pointers about choosing monologues (and songs too) and I gave as an EXAMPLE of what I mean, such as age appropriateness, and so sometimes the "no dialects" is ALSO on such a list of do's and don'ts. I only gave ONE other example so as to give the "kind" of things noted on such pointer lists. </p>
<p>I think when you are taking so much of the warm support offered this personally, and are reacting so strongly, it sets a tone. You are being critical of other posts, yet conceiving THEM of being critical of you. </p>
<p>I truly believe the posters on this forum are a very supportive group of folks who cheer one another on. I hope you realize that is the intent behind posts, as well as people really trying to help one another and take the time to do that. I don't think the posts here were personal but more meant to be informative. </p>
<hr>
<p>Notarebel, it has and continues to be a "nice neighborhood" here but I think sometimes those who just join in, are not as aware of the ongoing supportive and civil tone of the discussions here, or at least that has been my observation as of late.
Susan</p>
<p>I posted above while apparently at the same time Theatermom posted (so I overlapped what you said, sorry) and also when MrsArk posted again. </p>
<p>MrsArk, I think many times lately on this forum, you have taken posts very personally that were never meant to be personal and certainly were written in good taste....I am talking of earlier this evening and on other days. I did not see others attacking your talented daughter. I think Notarbel was overly strong in this past response but I think you are surprising folks by taking well meaning posts as personal attacks that were not of that tone whatsoever. I never saw someone criticize your daughter and have encouraged her in fact. Now, I think you are bringing on strong reactions by your own reaction of assuming posters were criticizing you when I do not think they were. </p>
<p>mrsark - i spent a lot of time in the south and i know the dance. now you are going to play the victim and we are supposed to be all conciliatory. as we used to say down there, "dont let the door hit you in the butt on the way out!"</p>
<p>soozievt - you rock but im all out of nice with her and one other mom.</p>
<p>i'm so thankful for my daughter and her character and how she treats others. even if her talent and her chosen school is "off the radar" of others who are apparently headed for stardom. we are good people and lauren is the most kind and principled young woman i know. you can say what you want to me, but you're not going to say anything negative to her. and don't worry, i missed the door. this forum is full of good information, but it's not worth the aggravation.</p>
<p>notarebel, although I would probably be a little more diplomatic than you (probably my age shining through :)), I absolutely agree with you and your concern about two particular individuals who are fairly new to these discussions, as in, having arrived in the past six months or so. Many of us, myself included, have been reading and posting here for a couple of years, off and on, and are always happy to help any newcomers and to share our knowledge and experience. In all of that time, I have found the group of parents and students here so wonderfully supportive and, like Susan said, we all cheer each other on. Lately, there have been numerous threads where the discussions have rankled with discord. Interestingly enough, it seems that all of this discord has centered around these two mentioned individuals. Regardless of how helpful others have been, these two have become defensive and argumentative whenever advice or information is shared. It's distressing because it has, indeed, changed the tone of our discussions here and unfortunately made this not as pleasant a place as it once was. Perhaps if the constant threats to finally leave the forums ever transpire, we can get back to our happy, upbeat, and helpful exchange of information once again.</p>
<p>it must be nice to be perfect and sit back and make ugly remarks about others. i may have taken a little offense at times regarding criticism, but you know, i've never sat back and made spiteful remarks about others on this forum. it seems there's an arrogance amongst these "oldtimers" and i guess anyone that's a little knew better just sit back and be quiet. i'm sorry you're so distressed. you just go right on being so loving and supportive and i'll try not to bother you. i hope midgetmom reads this so she'll know you're talking about her behind her back while being loving and supportive.</p>
<p>mrsark87 - I'm very new to this site, but I've been voraciously reading the wealth of information on these boards to store away for my child in the near future. Posters like soozievt exude such warmth, compassion, helpfullness and knowledge. I can't imagine how you could possibly construe their dialogues in any other manner than the way they intended. I think perhaps you wish you found this wealth of information earlier when it would have be beneficial to your daughter's college search. Don't leave, but please examine where your feelings are coming from instead of taking offense at such innocent remarks.</p>
<p>did you read the posts by notarebel? i do wish i had found the information earlier. the information itself is invaluable to these moms. but you're just not allowed to express any opposing views. i'm a good and caring person. i'm not a person to cause trouble. but, i am from the south and i do take offense at some of the posts. i'm also a little more conservative. i feel that once a bit of info has been posted, the point has been made. it just seemed that some, not all, but some, people were just going out of their way to re-make the point that a dialect was a bad thing. i had indicated several times that i accepted that and agreed in many instances. but, it seemed that it was not going to rest until i admitted that we were wrong in our choice. i'm not going to do that. the point had been made by a couple of people. i don't know why everyone has to make the same point over and over. once one person has made it, the information is there and no one else needs to reiterate. it seems that when you just continue to argue, that you just want to make sure the other person understands their mistake. i just get tired of it and eventually, i speak back. people don't like that. i also think that the people who have been here forever think newcomers should just stay quiet. and i know there will be a 3 page post regarding these comments but, so be it. and i'm sure some kid will come on and tell me my daughter's program is worthless. that's why i'm leaving. i'll still read, but i just don't want to subject myself to this. i have a deep pain in my life right now and sometimes this forum just brings me to tears after reading something by a kid who is just having fun being cruel. i just don't need it. and i know i'll be blasted for this and told that it's just my paranoia and everyone has been just kind and supportive. well they often are, but not always. there are many kind people on here, but there are some grown women and some kids who just aren't. i so appreciate your kindness but, some of these remarks are far from innocent. and i am blessed with a daughter with not only talent, but sweetness, sincerety, integrity an a deep faith. so i am truly blessed with her. and when her accepted program and chosen school is denigrated and i am personally attacked, it's just more than i can deal with. i came here to escape for a bit. well, that's a joke now. i know, some wonder why, if i say i'm leaving, why don't i just go. well, i am, but, i wanted to respond to your bit of kindness, and it's hard to let it go when someone posts some mean thing about you. but, believe me, once this dies down, i'll read occasionally, but i won't dare post anything.</p>
<p>MrsarkPlease remember that this forum is a free exchange of points made by many different people from all around the country and even out of the country. Just because one person has responded to a comment or question, doesnt mean that the response counts for a response from the board as a whole. I would probably be feeling overly sensitive, too, if I was in full mama bear mode as you seem to be because of the sorrow Lauren has gone through. I think most posters here realize that, although it was a real stretch to think that one could audition for one program and get into that particular program, its not Laurens fault and in no way reflects on her talent. I know that I wish Lauren well with the results of her two auditions (for OCU and Sam) and am so glad that she decided to widen her search a bit. And thats me wishing her well after you did not wish my D well for her search next year. While the mama bear response works for a short period in a face to face context (making us as moms hyperfocus and help out our kids), on an anonymous forum such as this one, it becomes cumbersome to the mama and to others because of the communication difficulties inherent in this method of communication. I have been on CC long enough to know that all (with no exception) the posting moms wish you and your D well. If the recent auditions do not yield the results you are both looking for, Lauren will no doubt do well at OCU. By working hard in that environment, she will be able to either piece together what she needs or ultimately wind up in the MT program anyway. And I know that I cant wait to hear that Lauren has, in fact, gotten into one or both of the programs she just auditioned for. If you decide to continue posting, please remember that every response even to your postings are not for you alone; posters wish to make information known for the hundreds of other people readings these threads. Also, please remember that all other posters have needs and anxieties as well. Last year we had regular posters who were very disappointed with the audition process. One was Peggy whose D didnt get into the programs she auditioned for (not even a promise of drama at OCU as Lauren has). Peggy went into mama bear response and rushed an acceptance through at Millikin so her D could audition. She now is very pleased with the result. The other auditioner was Shauna, an incredibly deserving young woman who went through this entire process almost totally by herself (without parental involvement). Shauna is an inspiration to my D and to myself and no doubt to many many other people on this forum. Shauna will succeed with flying colors throughout her life. Shes a role model for us all. Both Shauna and Peggy were open to the support that CC gave them in their difficult journeys.</p>
<p>Mrsark87 - I have been reading this forum for over a year now and generally, when I read something that causes my spine to tingle or the hairs on the back of my neck rise I try to do one of two things. First, I try to remember that sometimes things that are written can be taken the wrong way. Second, <em>most</em> people on this forum are not malicious, and they are entitled to their own opinion. Opinion, being the operative word in this sentence. For instance, if I were to read your last few posts in which point out the fact that you are from the South; therefore you must be kinder, more gentle and fragile than the Northerners, I'd try to sit back and say "Where is THIS possibly coming from? Did the North/South issue come up somewhere? Did someone insinuate that Northerners are, in some way, different than Southerners?" When I determined that no, we have all different "types" of people here....those with all different backgrounds, religions, financial tiers, locations, training, gender, experience, education, ages, etc. I must come to the conclusion that you are being unnecessarily defensive. Perhaps you have been treated in some inferior way in the past or you simply perceive yourself as being picked on. </p>
<p>Before I write a scathing post, (which I have never felt the need to do, so far) I believe I would say to myself: "Lynn, does this thread in any way affect your "real life" and is it worth raising your blood pressure over?" I can't say that it would make a difference. </p>
<p>I've garnered such wonderful information on this site. My D is not one who was accepted into a number of highly rated programs, but I do not feel that I need to justify that anywhere or to anyone. It is what it is. We learn from everything we experience in life. Especially adversity.</p>
<p>Please heed these words from the wise and move on to the business (show business) at hand.</p>
<p>"When men exercise their reason coolly and freely on a variety of distinct questions, they inevitably fall into different opinions on some of them. When they are governed by a common passion, their opinions, if they are to be called, will be the same. "
Alexander Hamilton </p>
<p>" It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races."
Mark Twain</p>
<p>"You are young, my son, and, as the years go by, time will change and even reverse many of your present opinions. Refrain therefore awhile from setting yourself up as a judge of the highest matters. "
Plato</p>
<p>and......</p>
<p>"The only sin that we never forgive in each other is a difference in opinion. "
Ralph Waldo Emerson</p>
<p>mtmommy, i'm not sure of your reference of me not wishing your daughter good luck. i guess i'd have to search the forum to find it. but, of course, i would wish any kid the best on their auditions. and i think you were responding to my reference to a heartache and thinking that was in regard to lauren's audition process. it's not. there's just another issue in our family. we are not upset at all about lauren's situation. she has her talent and all her wonderful qualities. a 3 minute audition cannot determine those things and i don't let them. we're actually quite proud of her acceptance and scholarship into the theatre program, (even though notarebel thinks it's worthless. I'll have to be sure and tell them about this expert opinion so they can put it in their brochure). Since the same man heads both programs, i expect the quality of both to be similar. we don't consider theatre second rate to mt. it's just a different program. and in reference to me expecting to audition for one program and get into that program. yes, that was idiotic. but, i had never seen these forums at that time and had no clue how competitive this situation was. i don't think i deserve condemnation for it. that was our choice due to location as well as quality of program. we may consider unifieds next fall depending on lauren's mindset and what she wants to do at that time. but we are not stupid people and have spent the rest of the year coming up to speed. but, we stand by our decision to only audition at ocu, because upon the first round, she was offered the ba and that's always been the backup, a perfectly acceptable backup, while continuing to pursue options. and i know that a lot of people want to voice their opinion and input as to the "dialect thing." it just seemed that every time i responded that I understood and appreciated their advice, there was another post, driving the point home. eventually, it seemed they were trying to convince me we were wrong, and one even said we shouldn't have done it. now what is the point in that......trying to make us feel we had a bad audition and did something that will hurt her chances? I was pretty patient with all that input, until i felt it was just getting augumentative and insinuating that i just didn't get it and we were making a mistake. i appreciate the facts and the opinions. but, in the end it has to come down to us knowing our situation and seeing our particular monologue and how it comes off. it just works well for her because she's so good at it. and lastly, thanks to all those who lurk and send private emails of understanding. and thanks to those who posted above and tried to offer a little understanding. jamie
p.s. no i don't think badly of northerners. but, it is a different culture. you tend to be a little more outspoken. and i finally after thinking about all this a lot and why i get my feelings hurt, suddenly realized that many of these posters are from the northeast, therefore, may have a different perpective when it comes to sharing thoughts. it helped me understand a bit why some of these posts come across as they do. j</p>
<p>I have done my best to refrain from jumping in here, but I am going to do so even though my inner voice is jumping up and down saying not to.</p>
<p>It's time to turn the other cheek to all of this and stop fanning the flames. If you are going to take part on this wonderful cyber resource then you have to do so without taking everything posted so personal. Otherwise we are all headed nowhere in a hurry.</p>
<p>I suggest you stick a fork in this and call it done. IMO it is a waste of time, energy, and it feeds right into the sterotypical notion of stage parents.</p>
<p>i'm happy to do just that. but why is it ok for others to continue to pummel me but when i respond, i'm fanning the flames. i want nothing more than to go rock my grandson to sleep and forget this mess. but, i guess it's just human nature to want to respond when you feel like you've been criticized. it just dumbfounds me that grown women speak to each other this way. but, here's the fork.</p>
<p>I see you too are "A Blest Mom" - Lauren sounds like a dream. She also sounds like the kind of student that will continue to grow in her talents at whichever school she decides to attend. I hope you continue to share her successes - OCU looks like an awesome school!</p>