Yes, any valuation needs to be based on the quick sale amount, unless the estate (executor) is willing to deal with selling in the usual manner for selling the item (which could be a more lengthy process for some items). For example, valuation of a car is better based on quotes from CarMax or other nearby dealers, rather than the expected value in a private party sale, unless the estate (executor) is actually willing to deal with a private party sale of the car.
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I think that having a value put on items and then dividing up round robin style sounds very fair.
You could put a value on the items but then they could be divided up at say 50% of the appraised value.
I think it becomes problematic when one grandchild gets all the âgood stuffâ without the others having any say.
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I will say that my daughter had zero interest in my parentâs stuff but her cousin did. I have no problem with my niece getting âmoreâ in this situation. My D will have plenty of our stuff to have to contend with when we die (and sheâs an only so itâs all hers), some of which is from my parents.
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You are correct that some children or grandchildren wouldnât have any interest. But they all should get a chance to say that. And if they choose to take personal items, then the fair thing to do is to have a price attached so that what they receive is deducted from their portion of the estate.
This is not so much about the dollar value but about fairness. Which imo is more important.
And the OP talked about items that have value, not items that many of our grandparents had which are valued for their sentiments and not money.
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I guess we are lucky that there is little of value in my motherâs stuff. When my father died about 3 years ago, the grandchildren who were here took what they wanted, which was mostly baseball caps (dozens of them). Most of his clothes were taken to a menâs shelter. That was it.
My mother has furniture no one wants and lots of knickknacks. Hummels, tea sets from the 40âs and 50âs (my grandmothers), dishes, books. No one wants it, children or grandchildren. I will be stuck cleaning it out.
I donât think it matters how you place a value on things as long as itâs reasonable. Whatâs not reasonable is for one sibling to lay claim to items for their child (the grandchild of OPâs dad) before the dadâs own child has an opportunity to decide whether or not they want it. I donât believe itâs an accident that the items she picked all seem to be valuable. If the grandchild isnât in the will she doesnât get a share. If the sister wants to ask for them as part of her share and give them to her daughter than they should be assigned a realistic value and be counted as part of her share.
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You could go on the liveauctioneers site and search mid century modern furniture to get an idea of prices.
I feel like this is a tricky situation because Dad/Granddad is still living. And, I wonder if he has any inkling as to the value of the furniture. If theyâve owned it since the early 60s, they likely didnât pay much for it, and that is how he is viewing it. Is he in the house and using it? OP wrote sister had claimed a houseful of stuff. Is dad/granddad transitioning to live somewhere else? I may have missed that bit along the way.
I think people define what is âfairâ differently. I also think that it can become complicated when likely heirs have large discrepancies in incomes and means. Some folks might âneedâ stuff more than others, but should those who donât be âpunishedâ because they are less needy by receiving less value overall?
My parents died when I was 24, and I am an only, so it was pretty simple. Dh and I have an only. Dhâs sister and her husband have an only, but their family does not have what we have financially. I donât think dh cares one iota about having any âstuffâ from his motherâs home (his dad passed away 2.5 years ago). I imagine silâs daughter could use some furniture/home goods. Our ds wonât want any of it. Cash, investments, proceeds from a home sale, cars, etc. are different to me, but I donât personally âneedâ any âstuff.â And those types of assets are much easier to value and be fair in distributing than household goods. It becomes different if there are valuable household goods but resale valuations are challenging.
Mil is visiting now. She mentioned that dhâs sister said that our ds should have her wedding ring. Dhâs sister has a dd. I told her absolutely not. My suspicion (because dhâs sister is fair to a fault) is that mil told dhâs sister she wanted her and then eventually her daughter to have her ring, and dhâs sister protested about fairness. I texted her and told her mil had brought it up and that the ring should absolutely go to her and then her dd or straight to her dd or whatever - but not to our ds. I might feel differently if it were some magnificent piece of jewelry worth tens of thousands of dollars, but it isnât.
Dh is his motherâs executor. I donât foresee any issues between dh and his sister when their mother dies, but one really never knows. Money (any amount) can do strange things to people.
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All Iâve got is that Iâm sorry your sister has set up this awkward scenario.
Talk to your sister openly. âThe value of the furniture is significant. I think you will agree that needs to be considered in that mom and dad wanted everything split 50/50.â See what she says. Is there anything you want that could offset it like their vehicle or jewelry? If not, she needs to âbuyâ it out of her cash proceeds. IMO.
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When I was executor I discovered how much it âcostâ to get rid of stuff. Actual, out of pocket costs. If something canât be disposed of quickly- you need to pay to store it until the relative who wants it gets around to renting a truck and showing up. The realtors in the area all wanted the house âstagedâ-- i.e. get rid of whatâs inside, and pay to rent stuff that looks like it all came from Pottery Barn or Restoration hardware. Cleaning, doing modest repairs, etc. to get a property ready to stage all costs more when the house is filled with furniture, bric a brac, etc.
And NOTHING was worth what the close family members thought it was worth. Furniture that wasnât signed âNakashimaâ or comparable? Dealers will offer $800 for an entire house worth of furniture. Can you get more by selling it yourself? of course. Do you have six months to start posting photos on online sites, getting appraisals, showing up to sell furniture to buyers who make appointments and never show up? You tell me.
My experience was that unless it was a Cartier bracelet- signed, a Rembrandt etching with all the paperwork, provenance, etc. getting rid of âstuffâ is the most painful part of settling the estate. IMHO your sister is doing you a favor, especially if sheâs prepared to rent a truck and show up when she says she will and take the stuff.
I had a dealer call me three years after the estate was wound up to tell me he had a buyer for a massive buffet/china closet (mid-century modern, in pristine condition, all the heirs wanted it but none of them had room for it). I had sent him photos when we were trying to sell it- he told me ânobody wants mid-century right nowâ so he wouldnât take it- even on consignment. Well- three years is a long time in home decor⊠but I told him it had gone to a Veteranâs thrift shop and he was very, very sad. Me too-- but you canât hold up the sale of a house (costs money to keep the house- I was paying property taxes, insurance, heating, etc. on behalf of the estate) to try and maximize the value of the contents!!!
Iâd move on if I were you⊠sheâs doing you a favorâŠ
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It is not fair to value items and then have one heir buy them from the others, because there are so many ways to value items. The âtake it away nowâ price could be one tenth of the best case scenario price.
There is only one fair way to do this. Divide the money. Divide the proceeds of the sale of the house. Pick numbers out of a hat, and do you pick, I pick, back and forth, until everything is picked.
Squabbles over inheritance often break up the siblings. It doesnât seem to matter how little the value of the items - more often it seems to be the last gasp of sibling rivalry.
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This^^^^! Iâm approaching two years after going through this nightmare, good news is my only sibling was on the same page, bad news she was a 3 hour flight away so most of it fell on my family, a 10 room 3 bathroom 200 year old historical colonial. If someone wants furniture, just be grateful. The fire drills of getting everything ready for the estate sale stagers, and the realtor stagers, who want everything left from the estate sale out ASAP because theyâve advertised the open house and booked the house cleaners and painters and photographers⊠The initial booking of the clean out guys with their huge trucks tossing perfectly good items like coolers and ladders and microwaves and lawn furniture, while stuff like dishes and silverware and Tupperware cookie sheets could remain hidden, only to need to be gotten rid of before the open house. I literally begged everyone I knew to come by and take anything they wanted. I just gave a friend my momâs meile canister vacuum last week, didnât know what to do with it. Itâs a crappy emotional time, just because some auction houses sold a similar side table for $500 doesnât mean yours isnât going to end up at goodwill. Heck, just to get the estate folks to come to the house, I had to photograph everything and anything. I know my parents, who were very generous with their time and money, wouldâve rolled over in their graves if family were making deals over their stuff.
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Personally if my sister said she wanted furniture and was willing to deal with it Iâd let her have it in a heartbeat. But thatâs me. Maybe you want it too. Iâd probably let her have anything else too. Iâm tired of dealing with âstuffâ.
Furniture is a pain unless youâve got a plan for it already. And itâs never as valuable as you think. Is there anything YOU want to claim? Or several things that might make it fair in your mind? If you sold the furniture to consignment for example youâd probably be extremely lucky to even get 25 percent of itâs worth. And then storage and moving. So unless itâs in perfect shape and super valuable too itâs not worth the angst. Unless you have small easily transportable pieces itâs a hard sell. But I donât know the furniture and maybe it is worth valuation.
Iâd say there is a good chance your niece does not want itâI canât think of ANY kids who want grandparents furniture no matter how great it is deemed to be.
We split up things from grandparents already and most of my momâs things. We flipped a coin as to who went first and just claimed things back and forth. If there were things we both wanted we negotiated a bit (like two next first choices). Actually was very easy.
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This is exactly the situation with my husbandâs family. MILâs decision is to leave 100% of her home to DHâs brother and let DH and Brother split whatever savings is left, which will be very minimal if any. Her rationale is that the brother needs it more and could actually choose to live there since they live in the same town. The financial discrepancy is further exacerbated by the fact that DH and I have been paying for the homeâs upkeep for many years because itâs her wish to stay there as long as possible and she isnât able to afford the maintenance.
Is this fair? No, but we must accept her decision and look at it as itâs good we have been able to help her out. But we have also decided to split our estate 50/50 to our 2 kids even though, based on current professions, they will likely have very different financial outcomes. There certainly can be hurt feelings and difficulties when one sibling is treated very differently from another.
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My parents split it 50/50 even though our financial situations are much different. She is 50 and has no need to ever work again, we are still saving for retirement and will be for another 10 years, and it will be a lot more modest. When we go on vacation, we split it 50/50 (rent a beach house), Iâd have it no other way, otherwise it would be uncomfortable, at least for me.
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I can relate to this 100% as Iâm sitting in my dadâs place cleaning it all out - cash buyer closing in 2 weeks, no realtor needed. Siblings donât want to help because they donât want anything- neither do I but itâs all got to go and itâs not moving itself. This process is generally, for me, about keeping the peace.
I will say though, itâs best to work this out ahead of time because the grief that follows death is stressful. Adding conflicts with settling an estate and it can lead to tearing a family apart.
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We could all write a bookâŠ
The family members who want the couch but want you to get an estimate first on how much it will cost to reupholster because theyâre out of town and donât have time to do it. Yup, and I had time⊠The grandchild who wants the end table but can you measure it, check to make sure itâs finished on all sides because they donât want to put it up against a wall. The sister who wants the Persian rugs but can you take them to get cleaned first? And send measurements? And everyone thinks that the executor should be paying to ship, truck, pack and unpack, insure for every single household item they want boxed up. And that the executor has time to run back and forth to the UPS store to get every lamp, bowl, and champagne glass professionally wrapped and shipped to multiple addresses!
And Mike- youâve reminded me about the photographing! Not enough to snap with your phone and send it off. Dealers want 360 degree photos with every nick or scrape highlighted in the photo, plus measurements. Family members want swatches, âIs it coral or would you describe it as salmon?â. And secondhand stores for most charities will not take anything that could harbor bedbugs- nothing upholstered, no mattresses, headboards, etc.
It really is a full time job with the cleanouts.
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Weâre downsizing my parents to an in-law suite in our home; the buyer of their house wants any furniture we donât want to take with us. Iâm so happy I donât have to deal with selling it!! Especially the massive dining room table for 10, along with a huge buffet and china cabinet! Theyâre bringing their sentimental pieces with them. My brother can take what he wants/needs; Iâll be happy not to have to deal with an auction house.
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I would only be upset if I had really wanted what was claimed. In that case, I would have a discussion about it. Otherwise, I would be fine with it. I never considered the value of my dadâs things when my brothers & I took what we wanted before the estate sale.
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I can just hear my mother saying 'Donât let that go cheaply. Itâs solid walnut". Well, for now, sisterâs daughter is living in a tiny house with no room for anything so this may all be a moot point. But Iâve seen so many other families squabble over things worth a lot less and I want to avoid that while being fair.
It would be like one grandchild, not in the will, saying âI could use a new carâ and just âtakingâ a $30,000 car. If sister or I wanted the car for one of our kids, then the blue book value of that car should come out of our half of the estate.
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